Introversion and Spinning Plates

[STR8UP]

Interesting point from another thread-

How does being introverted factor in to the whole spinning plates deal?

Fact of the matter is, for some people it is much easier, less stressful, and even FUN maintaining a large stable of relationships with other people.

Me? I'm the opposite. Well, not the total opposite, but enough so that it makes it very much a chore for me to build and maintain too many social connections.

I have friends that eat, sleep, and breathe socialization, on the other hand.

I think it's a whole different ball game for the guy who derives positive energy from constantly building and maintaining relationships. I can honestly see how much easier it would be for someone like this to effectively spin plates.

Me on the other hand, I'm not exactly a wallflower, but I get to a point where enough is enough. All I want to do is go home and sit in my chair and FORGET about other people.

I think that's a big part of the reason why I find it difficult to get myself into the position where I have many women on the go at any given time. Cause if you aren't a rock star, it takes effort to maintain these connections, regardless of the status of each of the relationships.

So how do you think various degrees of introversion plays into the mating game and "spinning plates" in particular?

 

[KontrollerX]

I think its exactly as you said Str8up.

Naturally extroverted guys like say a Latinoman or a Jophil thrive on large scale social interactions such as clubs, bars and tons of friends around at all times and the chase of new women is a natural drive for them that comes from within.

Naturally introverted guys like you and I though we have to do a bit more work in order to get motivated mentally to go out and do this. We generally can do without people or at least a lot of interaction with them but we know its probably for the best to get out there and do the same thing the naturally extroverted guys do and we do it, its just that we quickly tire of it unlike natural extroverts because its not a natural biological drive programmed into us via genetic coding. We prefer the calm of an empty room or the presence of one or two people over the herd.

As for plate spinning how it plays into things for me is I stick to two women at a time these days.

I'm trying to build up the motivation and ambition to create a team or stable of women as Player Supreme or Tom Leykis would put it but then I think more about the time involved in that and I decide against it and say two is enough whereas a natural extrovert who learns all of this DJ stuff or is a natural at it they'd be creating a team of women with ease and thriving off of it. They see it as adding to their energy I see it as syphoning energy away from me lol.

 

[thedeparted]

I'm an introvert. My basic approach is to see other introverts. So whatever stuff I'd like to do by myself I'll do with whatever girl I like at that time. I avoid the whole bar/party scene which does nothing for me. And when I end up with an extrovert I let her go quickly. Just don't appreciate what they offer.

As for meeting women, I find them at the various activities that I do, around the neighborhood, friends of friends, and online. As long as you use the DJ skills, and focus on the right type of women for you, there is no need to waste your time in venues that you don't enjoy. At our age we don't have time for gratuitous socializing anyway.

 

[decades]

I think it goes beyond the introverted extroverted thing. there is a very rational reason Not to spin plates. btw, this is not to Denigrate Rollo's excellent posts on the plate spinning theory. There is a place for it for every man. However, here are some points I would like to make. It can be a waste of time and resources and can be dangerous in the sense that you are exposing yourself to more risks. It can be fun, but there are a lot of dead ends. In the end what exactly do you gain for all the time and energy spent running around? Preserving time for yourself, and spending the time productively on self improvement can pay long term dividends in a way that obsessively spinning plates will never do. There are only so many hours in a man's day. What we need to capture is the confident mindset of the plate spinner without the attendant costs of actually being one. By that I mean, become a strong independent man with options and you will reap the rewards of the plate spinner without expending the resources of time and money.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Persistent makes an excellent point. You do not go out and spin plates, you focus inward, on yourself, and spin the plates that get thrown at you. You really don't need to pursue plates to spin - they will come flying at you.

Pursue a healthier body, more pastimes, be social, but don't do it with the express goal of pursuing women. If you read Pook you know that women just fell into his lap because of his attitude. Acknowledge them, take what you wish, and move on.

At no time should any part of your lifestyle become cumbersome or tiresome. You are always in control of your life. Do not feel obligated to act a certain way or do things for women that make you uncomfortable. It's up to you. No one can control your life but you.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Introverts definitely meet a lesser volume of girls. As in many cases dating is a number's game this puts them at a disadvantage if they want to spin a lot of plates. However I think they often connect with girls better so can form relationships more easily than extroverts whose skill set seems better suited to getting hookups with party girls.

One-itis is often more of an emotional thing, so sleeping with random strangers in clubs is not as effective as you might think as well as being risky.

The struggle for introverts is getting out of the house and finding venues that work for them, as they tend to do badly in the packed clubs and bars. But really if they work smart and have good game, they should be able to get a couple of dates a week, which will be enough to prevent them getting attached to any one girl

 

[guru1000]

Introversion and extroversion is a state of mind. At times, I want some alone time and enjoy my relaxation in solitude. Other times, I like to date multiple women.

The truth of the matter is MLTR's or dating multiple women is hardly any work at all. When you are operate from a frame of Abundance, there is less, if any emotional investments into any of your stock. This is stress free. When you do not feel like engaging in convo, you don't. There are no EXCUSES or PLANNING that is necessary, as it is Full Disclosure spinning. Each girl KNOWS the arrangement, and if you CHOOSE not to engage in convo for a day or two, she will UNDERSTAND.

It is quite the contrary actually. An exclusive relationship with one is more work than spinning 3.

With one, an emotional investment is in place. You have to respect and invest into this relationship which requires time and effort.

I currently have LESS time in an exclusive relationship, than I have had spinning multiple partners in the past. In addition, I have lost my abundant care-free mindframe, as I only have 1. But again, this SACRIFICE that I feel I have made manifests in my behavior, and the girl UNDERSTANDS what I FEEL I have given up. This AUTOMATICALLY keeps the correct context and frame from within the relationship. In other words, my SACRIFICE will always need to be justified.

 

[Guybrush]

Introversion and extroversion is a state of mind. At times, I want some alone time and enjoy my relaxation in solitude. Other times, I like to date multiple women.

The truth of the matter is MLTR's or dating multiple women is hardly any work at all. When you are operate from a frame of Abundance, there is less, if any emotional investments into any of your stock. This is stress free. When you do not feel like engaging in convo, you don't. There are no EXCUSES or PLANNING that is necessary, as it is Full Disclosure spinning. Each girl KNOWS the arrangement, and if you CHOOSE not to engage in convo for a day or two, she will UNDERSTAND.

It is quite the contrary actually. An exclusive relationship with one is more work than spinning 3.

With one, an emotional investment is in place. You have to respect and invest into this relationship which requires time and effort.

I currently have LESS time in an exclusive relationship, than I have had spinning multiple partners in the past. In addition, I have lost my abundant care-free mindframe, as I only have 1. But again, this SACRIFICE that I feel I have made manifests in my behavior, and the girl UNDERSTANDS what I FEEL I have given up. This AUTOMATICALLY keeps the correct context and frame from within the relationship. In other words, my SACRIFICE will always need to be justified.

Excellent and excellent. I wish I could rep you more...

But still, I sense that even for the Mature Man, the question of MAINTAINING the constant INFLUX of women that is necessary to preserve the ease of NEXTing is not at all obvious. I think it all boils down to this: How do you generate more and more women in your life without really worrying about running out of them ? Because adopting the mindset is easy. If you get used to it, NEXTing is WAY easier than creating more and more plates.

I don't buy into "they'll come flying towards you" attitude. They might not. And the activities that a man pursues may or may not help him create more plates - it all depends on what you are doing. Say, I love playing chess at chess clubs - that's a great passion of mine and I really don't do it for the sole purpose of meeting new women (meaning here that I have adopted the "abundance mentality of a DJ") but I have never seen a reasonable plate in a chess club in my 10 years experience in various chess activities.

To sum up my question, what is your "recipe" to keep the production flowing?

Excuse my age, this question is very important (even for the mature men)

 

[ketostix]

I think it has everything to do with it.Most introverts don't aquire a lot of plates and don't really enjoy multiple-plates. And I think the opposite is true for extroverts. One bright-side is an introvert doesn't need multiple plates as long as he is willing and ready to walk away and find a new plate if necessary.

 

[Knight's Cross]

My career time I'm extroverted. Working with a large crowd of people and clients all day. That to an extent burns out the desire when I have free time to want to sarge. I ENJOY my solitude when I can get it. I tend to flip to introverted during my limited time off.
I've realized this hurts my ability to pickup and spin new plates. On the flip side, when I do pick up a new plate, she gets some challenge. Which usually results to her going into totally available mode if she is TRULY interested in me. Basically one that really wants you, will JUMP at most all date ideas that you do throw her way. There'll be no doubt in your mind and she'll make it easy to get together. This has helped my cause more often than not. Seperates the attention ho's/ game players, from the women with true desire.

KC

 

[STR8UP]

One bright-side is an introvert doesn't need multiple plates as long as he is willing and ready to walk away and find a new plate if necessary.

Yes, yes, yes.

That's the key.

The whole plate thing has LOTS of merit. Even if you ARE wiling to walk away, it still sucks at times when you don't have several women on the go, cause psychologically you are at a disadvantage.

It's just that for some people it's EASY and FUN to juggle many relationships with many different people, and for others it's work.

And although I see your point guru, this whole "work on yourself and women will throw themselves at you" only goes so far, and it DOES still take effort to build and maintain multiple relationships. The higher the interest level, the less effort, but things just don't happen by themselves, i don't buy that.

 

[STR8UP]

Introversion and extroversion is a state of mind. At times, I want some alone time and enjoy my relaxation in solitude. Other times, I like to date multiple women.

To an extent, yes, but most people lean one way or the other.

I had an ex that was one of the most extroverted people I have ever met. She HAD to be around people 24/7. She once made a comment about how she could never live without an S/O, a roommate, or SOMEONE around all the time.

I'm exactly the opposite. I don't know if I could ever live with someone again, because I need my alone time and privacy.

When I'm at work and socializing with friends it's a different story, but I can only take so much of that before it zaps me of all of my energy, and constantly finding, building, and maintaining relationships with many women takes energy that I don't have to expend. Sometime I wish I did, but I am who I am.

 

[DarkShade]

If I was to put myself on an intro/extrovert scale, I'd be 75/25. A majority of my time is spent alone, both by choice and by force. I prefer free time to scheduled time, so I utilize my introverted self to improve aspects of my life (reading books, playing games, going to school). It seems the only time my extroverted self comes out when I get bored with my introverted self.

For instance, if I've been sitting at home all day reading or doing homework, I feel I need to reward myself with some time to hang with my friends. On the other side of the coin, if I just spent 4 straight hours with friends at a party, I feel an unconscious need to 'break away' and be alone, or if I am lucky, with one other female.

As I kid I was picked on by the bigger kids, told I was dumb, ugly, worthless, etc. My parents tried to help my self esteem but they weren't very successful, I mean really, how many times can your mom tell you that you are smart before it sounds like canned material? This expedited my introverted self, as before this happened I was an extremely extroverted kid, wanting to play all hours of the day outside with friends.

Anyway, to get to my point, everyone has a scale of which they can calculate their intro/extroverted self, I believe the key is to make the best of each situation regarding how you feel at that time.

 

[guru1000]

I don't buy into "they'll come flying towards you" attitude. They might not. And the activities that a man pursues may or may not help him create more plates - it all depends on what you are doing. Say, I love playing chess at chess clubs - that's a great passion of mine and I really don't do it for the sole purpose of meeting new women (meaning here that I have adopted the "abundance mentality of a DJ") but I have never seen a reasonable plate in a chess club in my 10 years experience in various chess activities.

To sum up my question, what is your "recipe" to keep the production flowing?

Excuse my age, this question is very important (even for the mature men)

It is not so much the activites you choose as it is the Frame from which you are working from. I do not know you personally to see your GAME. I can say however that when a Man holds the correct Context and frame, he will be at his strongest to attract a compatible harem.

There is no recipe or trick other than who you are. You cannot reasonably attract a 10 if you have a self -perception of being a 7. To attract many 10's, you have to be an 11.

Do an inventory check of your self perception and you can get an idea of which Frame you are working from.

For example, if you put much more value into an HB10 than a HB7, you are indirectly pedestaling the HB10. If you had a harem of highly interested HB10's, one HB10 or HB7 would have very little value to you. The amount of SIGNIFICANCE you attach to a girl shows what CONTEXT you are operating from.

When you can sit down on a date with a HB10 or HB7 with the mindset of "Prove to me how compatible you are", then you are operating from the correct abundant mindframe.

To keep production flowing, create a harem and continue upgrading compatible women until one PROVES to be exclusive worthy. This is the correct Context for one-itus.

 

[Mr. Me]

I'm not so convinced this is a matter of introvert vs extrovert. Seems to me that there's always that "if it weren't for me, no one would get together. I'm always the one doing the organizing!" factor. Most people don't take the initiative. That being the case, even an introvert can do the organizing without necessarily making himself extroverted, because even extroverts may be disorganized or not willing to take the lead. Being extroverted just makes them more fun to be around, but nothing more. They may be the life of the party, but they need to have a party to go to.

And so it goes. It's the reasoning behind thoughts such as:

To have friends, you must be a friend first.
If no one's inviting you to parties, throw your own and invite them.
Get the ball rolling.
If you want something done, do it yourself.
If not today, then when?
A journey starts with one step.

Is it easier if you're extroverted? We could find a million reasons why it would be easier IF... I was better looking, IF I were taller, IF I were younger, IF....

So, maybe the real deal is about becoming proactive and breaking through the wall of inertia, regardless of the basic nature of our personalities.

Geez, if Bill Gates can build an empire while remaining nerdy... it MUST be more than that.

it still sucks at times when you don't have several women on the go, cause psychologically you are at a disadvantage.

I hear you, but then again, we could look at having other plates as being a crutch, and therefore, also a disadvantage.

How much stronger are we, mentally, if we can walk away from one person when we have no other options at the time but to be alone - and be okay with that?

 

[LeftyLoosey]

I hear you, but then again, we could look at having other plates as being a crutch, and therefore, also a disadvantage.

How much stronger are we, mentally, if we can walk away from one person when we have no other options at the time but to be alone - and be okay with that?

Very interesting. I've never heard anyone bring up this point before. It does seem that spinning plates is indeed a crutch - a technique to overcome a psychological need and the self-destructive behaviour associated with it - when that very need should not exist at all.

 

[STR8UP]

Very interesting. I've never heard anyone bring up this point before. It does seem that spinning plates is indeed a crutch - a technique to overcome a psychological need and the self-destructive behaviour associated with it - when that very need should not exist at all.

I've been saying this forever....plate spinning IS a crutch to a certain degree. If you truly know your worth and know that any woman is replaceable, you shouldn't need to use that crutch.

That said, however, there is nothing more powerful to attract and keep a woman than her knowing consciously or subconsciously that she has competition.

I got canceled on this weekend, and I will tell you straight up that I was looking forward to getting with this chick, to going out and having a good time, and when it didn't happen I wasn't too happy about it. Perhaps my mindset would have been different if I DID have a couple of other women at various stages. I think it would.

However, everything comes with a price, and for me to put the effort into multiple "relationships", something has to give, and being the kind of person who very much enjoys his down-time, I just wouldn't have what it takes to keep three or more women in rotation.

Like I said though, if the attraction is strong enough it's a lot less work, so I'm not opposed to the idea, it's just that nobody has ever shown that it's different for people with different personality types, and I happen to be the kind of guy that it doesn't come as easy or enjoyable.

 

[guru1000]

It does seem that spinning plates is indeed a crutch - a technique to overcome a psychological need and the self-destructive behaviour associated with it - when that very need should not exist at all.

The intention behind spinning plates when in non exclusive rapports is to create a mindframe of abundance and take one away from scarcity.

It is a human inclination to behave in a necessitous way in a scarcity mindframe. It is the Survival of the Fittest built-in mechanism that pushes us to REACT when in a scarce state.

When one's resources are scarce (ie- a starving man), he is MORE inclined to act with desperate strokes. After all, no one wants to starve. This is not to be confused with "One WILL ACT needy", but rather MORE INCLINED to act.

From my personal experience, when I have had harems of 4 or 5 women, I TOTALLY dominated (cynically) new potential plates. It was almost comical from initiation to the maintenance level. It probably would not have been so simple had I thought scarcely.

Fear is the difference between a Don Juan and an AFC. An AFC fears to ruin the first date while a Don Juan simply does not care. This is a thought that will manifest into a congruent end result.

The key of course is to have an abundant mindset regardless of a present harem. Unfortunatly, many do not have the mental fortitude to TRUST their ability to attain until they have accomplished this feat many times over.

It is important for one to be aware of his mindset as most Men who are unsuccessful with women are scarce thinkers.

I for one, can start from scratch tomorrow without a scarcity mentality. But this took years of spinning and dating successfully to realize who I am today. Most men without the track record of success will carry scarcity and this is the purpose behind spinning, to create Abundance.

 

[thedeparted]

If you got stood up best thing to do is go out anyway and do whatever you were gonna do. Bring a friend. Or make a new one there. Or do some cold approaches. Just don't sit at home and stew. Or blame it on your introversion. Just keep the momentum.