Introversion and pickup

[jhl]

I just saw a thread somewhere on this forum about the Myers Briggs Test and to my surprise, about 70%+ of you guys here seem to be introverts.

I started this thread to find out how you introverts overcame your ways to cold approach (for those who can do it).

On the Myers Briggs test, I scored a 90 on the extroversion scale and when I first started doing pickup I thought it was hard enough for me. I can't imagine what it is like for an introverted person to do this.

So....how'd you break in?

 

[020204]

I find some people are very good at typecasting people into introvert or extrovert. In many cases it really short changes people. A good percentage of people come somewhere in between. For males being introverted is often seen as a curse whereas for females it seems less of a big deal.

 

[GQ Scott]

I'd consider myself highly introvert, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to people. It's just that introverts don't feel like talking as much unless it's something they are truly interested in, no small talk.

I'm not sure exactly how, I can kind of turn it off and become very extroverted/charming/persuasive when I want, during interviews, meeting new people that I actually like, trying to convince someone, etc. I guess for me the benefits of being able to talk to women well, outweigh the con of being "shy", though I don't think shy is the proper word to describe an introvert.

 

[AAAgent]

I wouldn't say i overcame it, just sometimes i force myself to do it. Although i'm introverted, I am very social in small closed settings so i can hold decent conversations generally.

I'm still trying to break out of my shell. Sometimes, i will shame myself into approaching, other times, i will set myself goals for self improvement. I generally don't like to not live up to my words so i use that as a catalyst to push me.

 

[Warrior74]

I'd consider myself highly introvert, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to people. It's just that introverts don't feel like talking as much unless it's something they are truly interested in, no small talk.

This. People mistake introvert for shy or having crippling social anxiety. I keep small talk to a minimum. When I do turn on what little charm I have its great but I can't keep it up for long.

 

[jhl]

I agree with you GQ Scott..the thing is...how successful are you without having the super positive energy all around you to sway the crowds?

Iono...in pick up you hear positive energy, positive vibe, excitement....and with highly introverted people I can't imagine them being associated with these type of characteristics in a random set of strangers during pickup.

For someone who is somewhat introverted, I just can't imagine that type of person doing an opener on a group, continuing on the convo, and keeping the party, who they know very little about, interested for a decent amount of time.

Perhaps there are different strategies or perhaps you use different venues/settings.... |As an extrovert who has had decent success becoming the center of the crowd to get women I would like to know what introverts do.

 

[zekko]

People mistake introvert for shy or having crippling social anxiety.

Right. I'm an introvert and I enjoy socializing a great deal, when I'm doing it. Being an introvert simply means that being around people will drain your energy, and you require solitude to recharge. Extroverts are the opposite. While I was quite shy when I was younger, I worked on getting over it, and now I do public speaking and lead meetings at my job.

When an extrovert plans his weekend, he probably wants to pack it full of activities where he is around people all the time. When an introvert plans his weekend, he will spend some time around people, but will also schedule some down time for some comfortable solitude, perhaps working on a hobby or project or such.

 

[GQ Scott]

I agree with you GQ Scott..the thing is...how successful are you without having the super positive energy all around you to sway the crowds?

Iono...in pick up you hear positive energy, positive vibe, excitement....and with highly introverted people I can't imagine them being associated with these type of characteristics in a random set of strangers during pickup.

For someone who is somewhat introverted, I just can't imagine that type of person doing an opener on a group, continuing on the convo, and keeping the party, who they know very little about, interested for a decent amount of time.

Perhaps there are different strategies or perhaps you use different venues/settings.... |As an extrovert who has had decent success becoming the center of the crowd to get women I would like to know what introverts do.

For myself I create all the positive energy/vibes I need. I'm sure it helps a lot during the opener that I'm quite good looking, coupled with good conversational skills and a "Don't give a fvck" attitude. I've worked very hard on the latter two, and I think I have a lot of natural ability that's been unlocked in the recent years.

I do prefer smaller 2-3 sets, don't do many group approaches, and all my friends suck at game so I just do my own thing when we all go out to the clubs, heck I even find women for them to meet lol. I have no trouble approaching most smaller sets and holding their attention if I get my head in the right mental state.

I hope that explains it a bit better. Like I said I can kind of turn between highly introvert to highly extrovert any time I need to, but my default state is highly introverted.

 

[GQ Scott]

Right. I'm an introvert and I enjoy socializing a great deal, when I'm doing it.

This. If I find the right people who are interested in the same things as I (travel, mechanics, astronomy, psychology, technology, etc) I can talk for hours on end.

 

[Bible_Belt]

A lot of women are introverts, too. Not every woman requires that you be the life of the party.

Probably the best answer to your question of how do introverts do it, is that they just pick up well on indicators of interest. On the myers-brigg, I happen to be an intuitive introvert, and that makes it easier for me to know a girl's emotions without having to talk to her. If you can pick out the girl who already likes you, then you don't have to be so suave.

 

[\O/]

Right. I'm an introvert and I enjoy socializing a great deal, when I'm doing it. Being an introvert simply means that being around people will drain your energy, and you require solitude to recharge. Extroverts are the opposite. While I was quite shy when I was younger, I worked on getting over it, and now I do public speaking and lead meetings at my job.

When an extrovert plans his weekend, he probably wants to pack it full of activities where he is around people all the time. When an introvert plans his weekend, he will spend some time around people, but will also schedule some down time for some comfortable solitude, perhaps working on a hobby or project or such.

This is correct. Being an introvert doesn't mean that you can't socialize or that you behave awkwardly in social situations. It's all about where you recharge your energy. Introverts can be great conversationalist and be the life of the party, but often it is for a limited time.

I'm a strong extrovert (ENTP) It doensn't necessarily mean that i'm overly social or that i don't like being alone. I love solitude and plenty of times do i prefer my own company over a given social setting. However, when I'm in that social setting, i'm the last person to leave. I thrive in a social environment and being in such a situation gives me energy. It doesn't drain my energy levels like it will on some introverts.

I think everyone should take that test. It will give you great insight into your own personality and also explainalot about how you interact with other personality types. It can also pin point some areas you might need to work on in life, both on a personal level and in a working situation.

 

[zekko]

\0/, that's interesting. I've heard a lot of introverts talk about how they recharge their energy and such, but not extroverts, for some reason. I suppose they're more likely to be with people instead of on the computer.

See, when I'm with people I enjoy it, but after a certain time I get tired of it, and I have to get away from them. I may become irritable or even have a hard time concentrating if I don't get some down time.

How does being alone affect you? Do you find that it ever drains your energy, if you're alone too long?

Most people have a mixed set of attributes, of course. You're either on one side of the scale or the other, or anywhere in between. I'm a fairly strong introvert, but most people fall toward the middle of the scale.

To add to what GQ Scott said, another thing that helps me is that I'm generally pretty witty, when I'm functioning well. I do find that I prefer 1 to 1 interactions, although I can do groups too. Groups are probably more likely to drain me.

 

[betheman]

I guess id be described as an introvert, I like my own space, I like to socialise too and can be the joker a lot of the time too. cant do it for long though it bores me. also I see lots of extroverts...people who talk endlessly and aimlessly, they bore the sh1t out of me and others. its quite rare you find a genuine extrovert who is interesting or funny the majority of the time.
A lot of the time people seem so full of their own importance and just dont know when the f cuck to shut up.
Ive no intention of breaking out of anything and becoming something Im not

 

[\O/]

\0/, that's interesting. I've heard a lot of introverts talk about how they recharge their energy and such, but not extroverts, for some reason. I suppose they're more likely to be with people instead of on the computer.

See, when I'm with people I enjoy it, but after a certain time I get tired of it, and I have to get away from them. I may become irritable or even have a hard time concentrating if I don't get some down time.

How does being alone affect you? Do you find that it ever drains your energy, if you're alone too long?

Most people have a mixed set of attributes, of course. You're either on one side of the scale or the other, or anywhere in between. I'm a fairly strong introvert, but most people fall toward the middle of the scale.

To add to what GQ Scott said, another thing that helps me is that I'm generally pretty witty, when I'm functioning well. I do find that I prefer 1 to 1 interactions, although I can do groups too. Groups are probably more likely to drain me.

I think that being extrovert or introvert has little to do with energy levels. I have low energy. By that i mean that it's a struggle for me to get up in the morning, i'm often tired and i sleep alot. I have to force myself to go to the gym and soccer practice. I have introvert friends with much higher energy than me.

But when i am in that social circle, i don't get tired. If i'm out with my friends doing whatever, the more the merrier. I go through my buddylist on my phone and try to get people to join in. I often enjoy being in bigger groups more than 1to1 settings. I find those to be one of the points where extroverts and introverts have very specific differences in what they prefer.

I also love being alone. But it doesn't recharge my energy. I get even more tired and lazy when i'm by myself. In those situations i often choose not to answer phone calls and texts etc. I'm never bored when i'm alone. Even though i enjoy it and find it very comfortable and liberating, it does not stimulate me. It does not drive me to do things. When i'm alone and comfortable nothingmotivates me to get out or get things done, so in that sense you might say that being alone makes me passive and makes me stay low energy.

My sister is an extrovert aswell, but she gets lonely and bored after like 5 minutes alone, so there are all sorts of factors that come into play. Like you say Zekko, we all have a mixed set of attributes and we all have a little bit of both sides in us.

 

[Lexington]

An introvert is someone who lives in his own head. An extrovert is the opposite. Contrary to the common representation of introverts, we don't all suffer from social anxiety and we're not necessarily shy. An extrovert is just as likely to be shy and socially awkward as an introvert. Mainly introversion and extroversion is about how we perceive and experience the world.

 

[SteR]

\0/, that's interesting. I've heard a lot of introverts talk about how they recharge their energy and such, but not extroverts, for some reason. I suppose they're more likely to be with people instead of on the computer.

Funnily enough this cropped up in conversation with my mother a while back. She was talking about how, when she was young, she didn't like spending time on her own - she always tried to make sure she was around people as often as possible. She's also incredibly good at socialising (one trait of hers I wish I had) but I suppose that's a side effect of being an extrovert.

I'm the complete opposite. While I have no trouble whatsoever socialising, I do find I need to be alone to recharge. That's not to say I want to be alone all the time.. that's not healthy, but I find it allows me to re-energise and get out there again.

 

[thefonz]

I'm a total introvert. I'd much rather read a book than sit around and drink with a bunch of guys watching tv and talking nonsense. Doesn't mean I CAN'T be the life of the party...I've done that and it doesn't really make me much happier.

So how do you cold approach is the question? Introverts geniunely don't like small talk so I'm assuming indirect would not be for you if that's the case (a lot of bull****ting and unimportant conversation). I prefer geniune direct, almost always.

Make my actions known, don't do anything I don't want to do. That's the essence of being alpha.

 

[BMX]

What thefonz said. Basically.

When I was starting out as an introvert looking to break into the field, I did daygame and daygame only. Nothing but cold approaches were acceptable to me. The women varied in looks widely and personality (to a lesser degree). As noted above, I always felt I should go direct and I got to the point of not caring if I was rejected or not. My preferred sarge spots were on busy, big city streets or busy suburban shopping centers. I found it easier than expected to approach in big cities as an introvert whether I wanted to build rapport or not. I never saw people around me doing the same so I stood out and it jacked my confidence up.

When I was on, the results showed. I'd TELL myself in my head "she's begging me to cold approach right now." If I got blown out, I would always tell myself "Thanks for playing." I was heavily into bodybuilding back then so my t-levels were definately a good thing when out sarging. I think these days, I will go back to the long lost art of daygaming and also using some of my bodybuilding routines to break some training ruts. Can't hurt whatsoever.