Introduction

[phillydude]

Hello all... wanted to introduce myself. I'm P.R., 40 years old, married with two pre-school age kids, and I'm a "mack."

Wow... that sounded like I walked into some twelve step program meeting... not that I need anything like that. Rehab is for quitters, and that's one thing I'm not (and you shouldn't be if you want to be a real player).

Anyway, I've got about five years experience in "the game" (married for twelve, you do the math and then go rent the movie) and I'm looking forward to reading the threads and contributing my advise to those who are just now learning about the DJ life.

I currently pull 3-5 numbers a week, mostly on the street or in passing social situations like stores or restaurants. I'm seeing two women on a regular basis right now (one's 44 and the other is 34) plus I also "date" a new prospect once or twice a week. And in case you are wondering how I balance it all, I make sure I'm home three nights a week, at least one of them a weekend night (usually Sunday).

I've been with women from 22 to 52 over the past few years, but find that I have the most in common with women within five years of my own age. It eliminates that awkward moment when you are talking about music and mention "Woodstock" and the girl says "Oh you mean Snoopy's little friend?" or that awkward moment when you ask "Do you wear panties or a thong?" and she replies "Depends."

The thing I've found most helpful to remember is that women generally WANT guys to take the lead. I do get a fair amount of women who come up to me and start talking (especially at bars and clubs), but that's mostly because they are fascinated find out why a well-dressed older guy (with grey hair) is "out and about" at the most popular nightspots in town (I'm in Philly if you couldn't tell from the screen name). But mostly women are VERY receptive if you just confidently walk over and start talking.

A piece of advise for now, and then I'll sit back and read the board for a while unless there are questions for me...

"Find a place you feel comfortable and then go there often."

Whether it's your corner bar, or a nightclub, or even a bookstore or coffee shop, becoming "one of the regulars" is a great help in getting your name out there and your game on. The bartenders (or staff) and the other male regulars will become your "wingmen," the women who also frequent the same place will eventually seek you out to provide "social validation" for themselves (and for you), and in many cases, both of those groups will provide introductions.

Just don't make the mistake of getting into a "relationship" with any of the female regulars, because once you move on past that fling, you will be a "marked man"... don't think there won't be a "meeting in the ladies room" if you try to mack on a new woman when there is a "ex" in the room. So find a place where "everyone knows your name and your game" and use that as a home base to work from. Plus, it's great to be able to have a place where you can take a date and you know you will get great service, plenty of social validation, and be able to show her a good time because you KNOW what to expect before you walk in.

Anyway, enough of my yappin'... let's get the game on!

 

[Golden Arms]

cool, excellent first post !

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by phillydude
Just don't make the mistake of getting into a "relationship" with any of the female regulars, because once you move on past that fling, you will be a "marked man"... don't think there won't be a "meeting in the ladies room" if you try to mack on a new woman when there is a "ex" in the room.

Where were you before I made this mistake?! (several times)

Anyway, welcome to the site! Good first post!

 

[WestCoaster]

Why are you cheating?

If you're married and cheating why not be a real man, grow some balls and get a divorce?

Cheating is for AFCs, real men can face the drama and get a divorce. Or perhaps I read your post wrong, or perhaps you have an open marriage.

If you don't have an open marriage why not just get a divorce and be completely single? Divorce is no longer a stigma in this country. Have some courage.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

you're married with kids? not an ounce of respect over here. divorce your wife then come back.

that's just flat out wrong.

 

[Falcon Eye]

I thought DJ's were supposed to have morals?

If you're married with kids then take care of your kids and your relationship with their mother. If you're not happy in your marriage then there's no shame in getting out as long as you still take care of your kids.

There's plenty of shame in continuously cheating on your wife though. Why are you married?

 

[Cleatus VanDamme]

Re: I thought DJ's were suppoed to have morals?

Originally posted by Falcon Eye
If you're married with kids then take care of your kids and your relationship with their mother. If you're not happy in your marriage then there's no shame in getting out as long as you still take care of your kids.

There's plenty of shame in continuously cheating on your wife though. Why are you married?

I agree - your situation sounds primed to explode and your (ex) wife will get full custody, and your name will be mud will all extended family members. Why not end it when you can set some of the terms? I went through probably the most amicable divorce ever and it was still miserable.

 

[Bungo Pony]

I'm P.R., 40 years old, married with two pre-school age kids, and I'm a "mack."

You've either got an open marriage, you're separated, or you're cheating. Care to explain?

 

[phillydude]

Damn... you all really DON'T have a clue, do you?

I never said I was cheating on my wife. I don't have sex with anyone BUT my wife. And my wife knows that I go out with other women... in fact, she is very comfortable with the situation. After all, as she says, she doesn't get angry or upset when I go out with the guys... so why should she feel differently when I go out with girls? She knows there's no one out there better for me than she is... and no one worth giving up what I have now for. She trusts me, and I have never done anything to break that trust.

And when she goes out and "flirts" with other guys, that's fine with me. In fact, I stay home with the kids at least once or twice a week so she can do just that (and give her some pocket cash in case some AFC doesn't buy her drinks all night). And since she knows me, she knows how to spot a "DJ" a mile away, and knows that while they are fun to play with, they are certainly not worth giving up what she's got now for. I trust her, and she's never done anything to break that trust.

Also, I want to point out that I NEVER tell a prospect that I'm not married. I've never taken my wedding ring off or tried to hide my situation (I wear three wedding rings, in fact... the other two are 5 and 10 year anniversary bands from my wife). And I make it clear up front that I am NOT trying to get them into bed, or looking for an "affair." I just love women: I'm always pleased to make their acquaintance, find them fun and fascinating to be with, and just generally like having them around.

I'm a mack... not a player. In case you don't know the difference, I'll spell it out for you. There's a very clear distinction.

A mack's game is to meet women. It's like fishing... you toss your lines out there, you work the lures, and hopefully you hook something good. If you don't get anything, it's still great to be out there in the boat. And in my case, it's strictly "catch and release." Macks don't deplete the number of fish in the ocean... they just fish for the sport and the adventure of it all.

A player's game is to meet women... and f*ck them. A player fishes because he's hungry. If he hooks something, he's not satisfied unless it ends up "in his boat" (or in this case, "in his bed"). And if he doesn't get anything, he brags to his buddies about "the one that got away." Macks don't like players... they spook the fish and make them harder to catch and wary of fishermen in general.

From what I've read over the past week or so, most of the information and advice on here is on how to MEET WOMEN, not on how to get laid. I thought I had found a group that was interested in learning about different tips and techniques to increase their attractiveness to women... how to be a better fisherman. Because we're all after that same rush... that feeling you get when you know they are hooked.

There's no reason for me to get involved in a group that focuses on how to get more sex... I already get plenty of good sex at home. But I did want to help others who are looking for advice on how to best approach, meet, talk to, and begin "relationships" with women. That's my game... and I'm very good at it. And I hoped I could be a mentor for some of you who seem to be having REAL problems with putting women into your life.

Those of you who don't know how to bait a hook (and all you masterbaiters too). Those of you who can't cast a line without getting tangled up. And those of you who let the catch slip away once you get a nibble. I've read the posts... you guys are out there in your own little boats, rowing in circles and getting frustrated, never landing that trophy fish. I've got a big boat, a full tackle box, and a cooler full of beer that I'm willing to share, whether that's in celebration of a successful outing or to drown your sorrows when they just aren't biting.

But if my initial welcome to this group in any indication, I might not be in the right pond. Maybe some of you are jealous because a married guy gets more play than you do. Maybe some of you are bitter because your marriage didn't end up well and now you are divorced and alone. And maybe some of you are just the kind of people that want to cut people down before you find out what they are really all about. In any case... I've got a pretty thick skin... say what you want (even if you are wrong, I'll still respect you for speaking your mind).

And remember the old parable: Give a man a fish and you've fed him today. Teach a man to fish and you've fed him for life. Got Fish?

 

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by phillydude


I currently pull 3-5 numbers a week, mostly on the street or in passing social situations like stores or restaurants. I'm seeing two women on a regular basis right now (one's 44 and the other is 34) plus I also "date" a new prospect once or twice a week. And in case you are wondering how I balance it all, I make sure I'm home three nights a week, at least one of them a weekend night (usually Sunday).

Now, what else were we to think, other than this guy is cheating on his wife?

 

[Golden Arms]

This has to be the weirdest thread I've ever read..

You say you date these women yet you don't have sex with them ?? So you just have a bunch of women that you have plutonic relationships with outside your marriage ?

Let me quote your first post :

" I currently pull 3-5 numbers a week, mostly on the street or in passing social situations like stores or restaurants. I'm seeing two women on a regular basis right now (one's 44 and the other is 34) plus I also "date" a new prospect once or twice a week..I've been with women from 22 to 52 over the past few years, but find that I have the most in common with women within five years of my own age"

Sorry man, maybe I am a complete idiot, but something doesn't add up here. You get phone numbers, you "date" all these women, yet you are not physically intimate with any of them ? Just out of curiosity, how do they feel about it ? Yeah, I don't really understand why you would date these girls and not have sex with them - because that's what "macks" do ? Then how is your relationship with them different than simple friendship ?

 

[Bungo Pony]

So, you're just in for the game. Do you like the idea that you could be breaking these women's hearts? Do you like the idea that you could be destroying the relationships that these women have with other men because they find you more attractive than their current boyfriends? Did this ever occur to you?

I have no problem with men being friends with women, but you're using attraction to achieve this. You're stringing these women along for the sole purpose of their company.

I also "date" a new prospect once or twice a week.

You decided to get married. You decided to start a family. Why aren't you spending your "dating" time with your wife or kids? By doing what you're doing, you're running the risk of finding a woman who is more interesting than your wife. You run the risk of destroying the family and the life you've created. Human imperfection will sooner or later get ahold of you.

 

[WestCoaster]

Why be married?

Perhaps I'm old school, my dad has been married to my mom over 50 years, war veteran, hard worker, retired college prof, never "dated" while he was married, never cheated, well-respected in the community ... you know, one of the few good men left in our sick U.S. society.

Where are these men anymore? Why do we have ****wads "dating" on their wives? Freaking strange. No wonder our youth is so mixed up as their role models are messed up. I feel for this guy's kids.

Here's what I don't get about the American male: If you don't want to be married, why get married? Oh, you have to answer to the stupid questions of why you're not married and stupid, sick society's rules that advocate being divorced multiple times over never being married, but that's nothing compared to having some twisted, freaked-out marriage where the victims are kids.

Why not just never get married? Who put the gun to your head to get married?

If you want to act single, why not just stay single? I want to be single so I'm single. I find myself wanting to settle down more and more each year, when that time comes -- and if dietzcoi doesn't slap me into my senses -- I'll get married. Until then, f-ck society, I'll do what I want. No one is putting a gun to my head.

God, the U.S. male is the biggest p-ssyfied, pathetic human creature, it's just sick, sick, sick.

 

[phillydude]

<<You get phone numbers, you "date" all these women, yet you are not physically intimate with any of them ?>>

Yes, that's basically it. As a result of my job, I'm a "man about town," or as most people would call it, a "V.I.P." I get invited to a lot of events and such, and usually I ask an attractive woman or two to come along as my "date(s)." My wife used to be on my arm all the time until we had kids. Now she stays home more often than not (after fifteen years together, she's had enough of the "V.I.P." scene), but she realizes that I still like to look good and keep up appearances... and as I said, she trusts me.

<<Just out of curiosity, how do they feel about it ?>>

A very interesting and thoughtful question. A lot of them can't deal at all. They are so wrapped up in their belief that if a guy doesn't make a sexual advance towards them, they must somehow be unattractive or unworthy. I've had girls literally sobbing, "Why won't you sleep with me?" Of course, the temptation is there, but I just don't do it. It wouldn't be right. So if they don't get it, it's quite simply a "NEXT" situation. That's the great thing about macking... there's always a list of numbers waiting for me to call.

On the other hand, there are a LOT of women who are overjoyed that I choose to have them around... because I actually LIKE them... not because I want to get into their pants. Plus, as I mentioned, I have access to a lot of things that most people don't have access to (backstage access at concerts, the best tables at restaurants and clubs, suite-level seating at sporting events, etc... most of it "comped") and most people enjoy being able to live life on that level, even if it's only once in a while (I live like that all the time). And to be honest (sound of ego inflating) being seen with me is great "validation" for them, and I always make sure that I introduce them to my more "available" friends and associates.

<<I don't really understand why you would date these girls and not have sex with them - because that's what "macks" do?>>

Yes. Some people collect stamps. I collect beautiful women.

<<Then how is your relationship with them different than simple friendship?>>

There's still an element of attraction in my relationships that goes beyond just friendship. All that stuff that's talked about on this board: call it "flirting" or "kino" or whatever. It's hard to explain... but they know that it's more than just friendship.

 

[Squid]

Wow, this really is a wierd thread. I don't think that this can be considered a "normal" relationship to say the least. To be honest, you seem to be doing alot of bragging that does not appear to be impressing anyone.

I'm sure that you have alot of good advice for meeting women and getting numbers. That's great, any posts that can help another on this board are welcome, but bragging about your high social status and the many beautiful women you date is annoying and not what this place is about.

Why not start a thread like "my technique for getting numbers", etc. instead of trying to feed your ego?

 

[Golden Arms]

This is beyond weird ... but if I lived in Philly I would definitely want to be hanging around you ! If you're going to meet them and date them and not bed them, let your friends hit it
Well, basically like you said - introduce them to your more "available" friends.

All in all, I've never heard of anything like this until now... strange to say the least

One more question - do you at least kiss them ?

 

[WestCoaster]

Downfall of the American male

Just as PRL (and I) comment on the sl-tiness of American women, I must say the American male is the most p-ssified being on this planet.

What's the purpose of just flirting with women while you're married?

I'd rather be completely free and be single, than getting all hot and bothered and then not be able to act on it.

One of my friends is the all-time married AFC. Has wanted to cheat forever, wants to go to a brothel, wants to get out of it, doesn't get along with his wife, he's 40 ... and instead of getting out of it, he's having his first kid.

The p-ssification of the American male continues.

What a twisted society we live in.

 

[Squid]

Westcoaster

I agree with you that there are guys who are too scared to end a lousy marriage, maybe they are scared to be alone, maybe they don't have to balls to stand up to their dominating wives, etc.

However, alot of the time it isn't so much being a pu$$y as much as it is not knowing what is the right thing for them. Alot of people keep hoping that "maybe things will get better if I just...", and they can finish that sentence with their own situation. I have read that in a typical long term relationship that you will fall in and out of love constantly over time and the strong relationships work through this. Sometimes I think people bail out a little too soon.

Many people are unhappy regardless if they are in a relationship or not, they are just miserable people.

 

[Golden Arms]

"lousy marriage" LOL

sounds like a great marriage me.. it'd be much better though if his wife was OK w/ him banging the chicks..

 

[Squid]

Golden Arms

I wasn't referring to phillydudes marriage, I was referring to Westcoasters comments on the "p-ssification of the American male". Although I have to disagree with you, if you want to fill your spare time with "dating hot women", what is the point of being married with kids? Raising kids is a full time job, not something to do when you don't have a date.

To be honest this whole story seems fictitious to me, I think what we have is someone hoping to get props from everyone on this board for his fantasy world. Really, what kind of self respecting person would agree to this situation..."sure honey, go out on your date, I'll change the kids $hitty pants"....yea right.