Hi, I'm 19 years old and something changed in the last 3 months or so, I'm here because of it.
Until now, I've always been a very introverted person, who never actually wanted a relationship. I was horny, but I never understood this need for having a relationship. Now I think I understand, and I feel like having one.
Problem is, I just have no clue what to do. I'm a very anti-social shy guy, who has few friends, spends most of his time in front of the computer, and who really doesn't talk that much. I was happy this way, but now it's not enough.
To give you an idea of who I am - I have quite a talent for maths, and studying maths at university is rather easy for me, so I have a lot of free time. In the free time that I have, I barely do anything. I play video games, watch TV, repeatedly watch the same stuff I've seen hundreds of times on youtube, often doing these things high. Few times every week I go out with some of my friends, we get stoned, sit or walk somewhere and talk about wannabe intellectual/philosophical stuff. Sometimes I go to parties where there's more people, but I still get stoned and just don't do anything - I hate dancing, unless it really is the sort of music that I like, which it never is. I could probably go to places/festivals where they play the music I like, but I don't like it that much either. I'm happy enough listening to the music at home.
If you are wondering whether I should possibly stop smoking weed, trust me, I was like this even before I did. Now it's at least more enjoyable, and I have the image of a stoner, which makes me sitting on my ass and not dancing less strange, than had I that sober.
Only "meaningful" thing I really do, is lifting weights. I don't even know why, but it's pretty important for me. It's pretty much the only thing in my life, that I'm really trying hard to get better at. So I lift about 3 or more every day. With the huge amounts of time I have, that still leaves me with a plenty of free time.
Well onto my relationship problem. While I do have the need for a relationship, I actually have no idea how to get one, and much worse, what to do in one. While many girls have told me that I'm very handsome, look athletic, I'm nice (in the sense that I'm not a prick - while I don't really think that being like this is a good aspect for getting girls, that's what they said and considered a positive aspect) and I am quite funny, though they did say that I'm a "different" - not necessarily in a bad or offensive/freaked out way, but that I just think in different ways I guess. But that's just me, when I act normal towards people, as if they were my friends.
I have no idea about girls and how to treat a potential girlfriend. There's so many questions that pop into my mind:
Where do I find a girl that would possibly like me and go out with me?
How do I ask for her number - should I just look at her, smile, see if she smiles back, and if she does, go towards her, introduce myself and ask for her number? "Hi I'm Blabla, maybe we could go out some time?"
What on earth am I supposed to do with her then? I don't like most things, but lets say I we go to the cinema for a movie. What am I supposed to talk about? I would have little to say if I went with friends, I'll have even less to talk about with a random girl.
What is supposed to happen after this, what are we supposed to do together after this? Repeatedly going to the cinema/outside for a walk/shopping(Jesus, me willingly going shopping, that's funny to imagine) every 3 days or so? What's a couple supposed to be doing together (besides physical contact guys)? I barely know what to do myself in life, besides lifting weights and sitting in front of my computer, so it's pretty hard to imagine.
From what I've read, the beginning is supposed to be a "just have fun" sort of thing, not letting it to be too serious. I completely understand this, and I'm not the sort of guy that would immediately think "oh god, I love her" and act overly serious. But on the other hand, I have no idea how to be a partner that it's fun to be with.
It's just a very strange feeling, I wish I had someone to be with, but even if I had someone like that right now, I'm really sure what I would do.
If anyone has some ideas or advice about what I should do, please share. Even though I'm very shy and absolutely hate talking with people I don't know, I'm not willing to start asking girls out or whatever... the feeling of being alone is just too bad for me to stand now. Also, I expect some people to just tell me that I should ask some girls out and see how these things end up naturally, that would probably work... but first I want to have a basic idea of how this whole relationship works, how to think about it and what's it about.
Until now, I've always been a very introverted person, who never actually wanted a relationship. I was horny, but I never understood this need for having a relationship. Now I think I understand, and I feel like having one.
Problem is, I just have no clue what to do. I'm a very anti-social shy guy, who has few friends, spends most of his time in front of the computer, and who really doesn't talk that much. I was happy this way, but now it's not enough.
To give you an idea of who I am - I have quite a talent for maths, and studying maths at university is rather easy for me, so I have a lot of free time. In the free time that I have, I barely do anything. I play video games, watch TV, repeatedly watch the same stuff I've seen hundreds of times on youtube, often doing these things high. Few times every week I go out with some of my friends, we get stoned, sit or walk somewhere and talk about wannabe intellectual/philosophical stuff. Sometimes I go to parties where there's more people, but I still get stoned and just don't do anything - I hate dancing, unless it really is the sort of music that I like, which it never is. I could probably go to places/festivals where they play the music I like, but I don't like it that much either. I'm happy enough listening to the music at home.
If you are wondering whether I should possibly stop smoking weed, trust me, I was like this even before I did. Now it's at least more enjoyable, and I have the image of a stoner, which makes me sitting on my ass and not dancing less strange, than had I that sober.
Only "meaningful" thing I really do, is lifting weights. I don't even know why, but it's pretty important for me. It's pretty much the only thing in my life, that I'm really trying hard to get better at. So I lift about 3 or more every day. With the huge amounts of time I have, that still leaves me with a plenty of free time.
Well onto my relationship problem. While I do have the need for a relationship, I actually have no idea how to get one, and much worse, what to do in one. While many girls have told me that I'm very handsome, look athletic, I'm nice (in the sense that I'm not a prick - while I don't really think that being like this is a good aspect for getting girls, that's what they said and considered a positive aspect) and I am quite funny, though they did say that I'm a "different" - not necessarily in a bad or offensive/freaked out way, but that I just think in different ways I guess. But that's just me, when I act normal towards people, as if they were my friends.
I have no idea about girls and how to treat a potential girlfriend. There's so many questions that pop into my mind:
Where do I find a girl that would possibly like me and go out with me?
How do I ask for her number - should I just look at her, smile, see if she smiles back, and if she does, go towards her, introduce myself and ask for her number? "Hi I'm Blabla, maybe we could go out some time?"
What on earth am I supposed to do with her then? I don't like most things, but lets say I we go to the cinema for a movie. What am I supposed to talk about? I would have little to say if I went with friends, I'll have even less to talk about with a random girl.
What is supposed to happen after this, what are we supposed to do together after this? Repeatedly going to the cinema/outside for a walk/shopping(Jesus, me willingly going shopping, that's funny to imagine) every 3 days or so? What's a couple supposed to be doing together (besides physical contact guys)? I barely know what to do myself in life, besides lifting weights and sitting in front of my computer, so it's pretty hard to imagine.
From what I've read, the beginning is supposed to be a "just have fun" sort of thing, not letting it to be too serious. I completely understand this, and I'm not the sort of guy that would immediately think "oh god, I love her" and act overly serious. But on the other hand, I have no idea how to be a partner that it's fun to be with.
It's just a very strange feeling, I wish I had someone to be with, but even if I had someone like that right now, I'm really sure what I would do.
If anyone has some ideas or advice about what I should do, please share. Even though I'm very shy and absolutely hate talking with people I don't know, I'm not willing to start asking girls out or whatever... the feeling of being alone is just too bad for me to stand now. Also, I expect some people to just tell me that I should ask some girls out and see how these things end up naturally, that would probably work... but first I want to have a basic idea of how this whole relationship works, how to think about it and what's it about.