Intimidation

[Enigma2517]

Alright so this happened to me once before a long time ago and just now happened again.

I was around this one girl I'm into and she made mention that I have my license now and blah blah blah. I'm a junior in highschool but I just turned 16 so I can't get my license quite yet. Why is this important? Is wish I could explain it. It honestly felt like a dagger going through my heart (ahh attack of the AFC ). Somehow between her having hers (along with a car, independence) I'm still bumming rides from my parents. Is it my fault? No, I wouldn't go that far. But it still makes me feel like such a little kid compared to her.

This has occured in other instances in the past as well. Shes a bit better at math and psychology than me, in fact she almost has the highest grade in the class. Hearing about test grades and such doesn't always make me happy. Shes really atheletic too. Lots of soccer and track. Dayum. Overall, she just seems to have it "together". This seems almost identical to the type of person a male DJ would resemble, the type of thing that provokes a strong attraction to develop. And quite frankly I feel a little intimidated sometimes.

To rationalize this a bit, shes not completely better than me. Not by a long shot. I can speak another language fluently, I rock at politics, I can play an instrument, I'm very strong in other school subjects, etc. Either way, I don't think that comparing me to her will do me any good in the long run.

Thats why I'm writing this...one, to ramble, and two, ask you guys what you think. Is this jealousy just a reflection of my own insecurities? What can I do about it? How do I suppress that nagging feeling? (Today I actually did much better than the previous times, I'm used to getting such feelings and I pretty much tell my brain to STFU!)

One last thing that I just thought of while writing this. Two months ago, I set out to improve myself. I wanted to be a better person because I could no longer look at myself and say that I was totally complacent and happy with my current shape. I've been working out a lot, doing good in school, signed up for afterschool activities, worked on my game, etc. The reason for that was because of what I read on this site and the reason I came back to this site after not having visited it for quite awhile was...her. *Sigh* oneitis anyone? But not even...I don't even like her that much anymore. Its no more fuzzy feelings, just that dread that she is somehow "superior" to me. Which made me examine, why am I doing this in the first place? I've asked myself that question not only once. To be honest, I think she was the reason why I started, but not the reason that I've kept on going. I just discovered that its so much more fun to go off and accomplish things on your own instead of just being a burnout. It feels good, I'm gonna keep on doing it. And getting all this stuff off my chest helps too .

Thanks all, comments appreciated.

 

[Jariel]

It sounds like you have a bit of an inferiority complex, which is common enough, but very destructive to your confidence.

So you're a little insecure. You can try to supress this feeling or convince yourself not to feel it, or you can embrace it, use it to motivate your self-improvement, and deal with the insecurity in a literal way.

It sounds like you are making an effort to improve already, so just keep working at it. You're only 16 so don't fret.

 

[Enigma2517]

bizzyump

 

[LikRetsam]

Bumping your own thread is for losers.

 

[cactus3178]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Bumping your own thread is for losers.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume he needs an answer

Anyway:

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"

-Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Enigma2517
Is this jealousy just a reflection of my own insecurities?

Yes.

What can I do about it? How do I suppress that nagging feeling?

...

Two months ago, I set out to improve myself. I wanted to be a better person because I could no longer look at myself and say that I was totally complacent and happy with my current shape. I've been working out a lot, doing good in school, signed up for afterschool activities, worked on my game, etc.

I just discovered that its so much more fun to go off and accomplish things on your own instead of just being a burnout. It feels good, I'm gonna keep on doing it. And getting all this stuff off my chest helps too .

That's a good start.

You need to:
1) Be happy with who you are
2) Seek to improve yourself.

You need to do BOTH. They aren't mutually exclusive.

 

[MinCO]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Bumping your own thread is for losers.

Losers sit on their ass and complain when they don't get results. Winners take action to make things happen for them, and if that means bumping their own thread, so be it.

 

[evolvingnerd]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Bumping your own thread is for losers.

perhaps i'm reading too much into this
but it soudned to me like he was making a point

do'nt give a sh!t what people think about u
perhaps he wanted to see if u would take it personally and see ur reactions

or maybe he's a d!ckwad
who knows, who cares

edit: lol he's a d!ckwad

 

[diplomatic_lie]

Learn from her. But don't let her feel superior to you.

If you give off signs that she is better than you, then she's going to think she might need an upgrade. You're in fact telling her "I'm a loser and you're dating one".

It doesn't mean you should break her legs before the atheletics final, but don't make a big deal out of it. If she gets better marks than you, make a little joke out of it. If she's a better athelete, offer to go jogging with her.