intimidated

[danieljsalas]

Hi guys, how u doing?. Well tonight it wasn't good for me. (i live in spain). I went to my sister's friend farewell because she is moving, and of course I knew they were going to be girls so I appeared there. Now here is the thing.

My sister told me there were a couple, her friend and some other girlfriends of my sister's friend, I was expecting about 6 to 7 people in a table at the coffee shop. TO my surprise when I got there, roughly there were about 12 girls all friends of my sister's friend plus the couple, my sis. and of course her friend. I spot two girl just on the other side of the tables, But thing is they all were sitting like in groups kind of two groups divided, I frozen, I mean I didn't know what to do to get to the girls I like, Just a weak attempt asking my sister's friend who they were, she said her names and that was all. there was a moment when a girl wave for my sister, her friend and me, to come over there to talk with them, BUT they didn't move. DAMN that was the only opportunity I could have done something BUT no I stayed there waiting for them to move. My question how has anyone pull out an entrance in this situations were everybody is sitted in a big group and the person you like is in the other extreme of a big table?

i think i am acting a bit desperate here because for my reasoning if the situation was not comfortable then, I am wasting my energies regreting.

thanks

Daniel

NOTE: sorry I POSTED IN THE WRONG FORUM PLEASE DON'T DELETE JUST MOVE IT TO THE MAIN ONE

THANKS

 

[Interceptor]

There's a couple of issues here.
The main ones I see are first, you feel inadequate in the presence of women. I know that the more women there are, the more femenine juju you feel around you. For a lot of guys who lack identity, confidence, and masculinity, it can short circuit you. I think thats what happened to you.
Second, you went into this trying to get something. Instead of just being cool with interacting with women.
Dont have an agenda.
Dont try to impress.
Do keep your wits and masculinity intact.
Dont be overly impressed with the fact there are lots of women.

Now, another part that affected you is the women's structure.
The heirarchy and the structure they built.
Women will tend to join together and form smaller groups. Its their way of gaining security. Safety in numbers.
This is natural. Get used to it.
However, while they often do this to dissuade predators, they can be inviting to those whom they deem 'safe'.
This isnt a bad thing.
you can be safe, yet still be a sexual threat. In which case things get complicated.
Some women who feel insecure in the presence of Men like that will make waves and try to prevent you from joining their party or try to eject you.
In groups of women there will be alpha bosses, and then the heirarchy will go lower under her.
So women will group together for protection, but oftentimes will be open to being approached.
The problem is that they dont realize how intimidating it can be for most men.
Since men instinctively know it is a form of Barrier and Security.
But women dont think this way.
They assume that a confident man will approach them anyway, and not take into account the overbearing femenine energy.
And some women feel that only a confident man that WILL approach her is the ONLY one worth accepting ANYWAY.
So they use it as a pre screener.
Understand this.
It will not change.
Adapt to it.
Its up to you to not be overwhelmed by these structures and femenine juju.

This comes from Self Assuredness , Confidence, a strong sense of Self and Identity even under pressure, and not placing too much value on them, AND not having an agenda per se.
Its not a cop out. Its not placing too much value and this outcome dependence.
Plus, this is reality. This is how the world really works.
Let go of irrational fear and needing their acceptance.

Understand this..
...if you are all the above, then you dont have to worry about being 'sexually accepted' the way most men grow up thinking how it works.
The way most men go about this is presenting everything OTHER than their masculinity to a woman to then LOGICALLY accept or reject.
"I bring you this gift because I like you. Will you accept me or reject me?"

"Im not interested in sex. So you can feel safe with me."

Wrong.


"How can she reject me when I bought her this gift?"

"How can she reject me when I have all this money?"

"How can she reject me when I told her Im not interested in her sexually?"

Thats the wrong thing to do.

Dont come from that place.

Youre a man, and your character, values , and what you have between your legs is often more than enough for MOST women.

If a woman chooses you because you have money, you are FVCKED.
She doesnt want "YOU", she wants what you HAVE. And that is FVCKED UP.
AVOID those females.
NEVER present something other than yourSELF to a woman.

NEVER.

You were taught wrong.

So understand that you need to connect strongly to your Masculine core essence and integrate the notion that you are GOOD ENOUGH for most women.

Instead of trying to force EVERY woman to connect with you (because you are desperate) why not enjoy the interaction and only give your time and resources to women who want to connect with you AND further, YOU want to connect with them?

Dont try to force, or coerce, or use logic in attraction.


Be around people who respect you, and appreciate you.

If thats not there, then you shouldnt be wasting your time there anyway.

And if it IS, then evaluate if it is a woman (or anybody) that you want to be connected to as well.

 

[KingBeef]

Excellent post as always, Interceptor!!!

 

[DJVladdy]

I like how Interceptor brought up "lacking identity".
That's how I feel at times as well: i have a good personality - but I kind of clam up sometimes, and can't let that personality shine through.

 

[danieljsalas]

Thanks interceptor, great reply.

I think i put too much value on the girl and the outcome instead of relaxing and enjoying talking to whomever was there. Yes I think i lacked confidence when i saw all the girls, I shouldn't have paid attention to that but i think It shocked me I was the only man there.

perhaps If I have acted accordingly My value would have gone to the roof as you mention


Thanks