biker_gixxer
Master Don Juan
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- May 3, 2004
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Interview with a natural PUA -- reframing your focus
- Thread starter 40quid
- Start date
JT47319
Master Don Juan
Come ON guys, haven't ya'll heard of DDB? Doggie Dinner Bowl looks? You know, when you've got a nice piece of meat in front of your dog and it looks at you with those wide eyes begging for it? That's what he's describing.
Other IOIs are questions from a girl when she's digging for information in order to establish rapport with you. This is why you should never introduce yourself because it's a self-obvious IOI. If she's intriguied/attracted to you, she'll ask. Now you've got to work on reeling her in deeper into your reality.
For those of us who weren't born naturals, it takes quite a bit of time to internalize the "Player habits" and processes. I've probably done ~500 bar/club sets which puts me at an intermediate level.
A lot of the basic skillsets I unconsciously do while previously I had to force myself to do things to improve body language, appearance and tonality. The more practice and field experience, the more congruent and socially intelligent you become. Hopefully at some point the advanced tactics will become part of my core identity and I won't even have to think twice about whipping it out and smacking some unsuspecting girl with it.
Given enough practice, everyone should be able to interalize the basic skillset and make it second nature. That's what is meant by "Being Yourself." You choose who you want to be and given enough time, incongruence between the loser that you currently are, and the winner that you want to be, will close. It's just that gap between image and identity will be obvious to everyone and more than just a little painful when people criticize you for not "Being Yourself."
Other IOIs are questions from a girl when she's digging for information in order to establish rapport with you. This is why you should never introduce yourself because it's a self-obvious IOI. If she's intriguied/attracted to you, she'll ask. Now you've got to work on reeling her in deeper into your reality.
For those of us who weren't born naturals, it takes quite a bit of time to internalize the "Player habits" and processes. I've probably done ~500 bar/club sets which puts me at an intermediate level.
A lot of the basic skillsets I unconsciously do while previously I had to force myself to do things to improve body language, appearance and tonality. The more practice and field experience, the more congruent and socially intelligent you become. Hopefully at some point the advanced tactics will become part of my core identity and I won't even have to think twice about whipping it out and smacking some unsuspecting girl with it.
Given enough practice, everyone should be able to interalize the basic skillset and make it second nature. That's what is meant by "Being Yourself." You choose who you want to be and given enough time, incongruence between the loser that you currently are, and the winner that you want to be, will close. It's just that gap between image and identity will be obvious to everyone and more than just a little painful when people criticize you for not "Being Yourself."
Player_Supreme
Banned
On point!
This is what most people realise after some time.
The most important thing is that you have fun and ... well be your self.
Work on your self, get better at anything at all.
In the end you will see that most of the better known posters here and other "DJ"s, do alot of moves this board would consider to be AFC.
But the real afc's are the guys who think that they DJed a woman doing something they read on this board.(ok they are rfac).
They have jet to learn that you get confidence by constantly bettering your self, and that it is not important what you do or say but how you do it or say it.
Practise, practise, practise... you need nothing else.
The most important thing is that you have fun and ... well be your self.
Work on your self, get better at anything at all.
In the end you will see that most of the better known posters here and other "DJ"s, do alot of moves this board would consider to be AFC.
But the real afc's are the guys who think that they DJed a woman doing something they read on this board.(ok they are rfac).
They have jet to learn that you get confidence by constantly bettering your self, and that it is not important what you do or say but how you do it or say it.
Practise, practise, practise... you need nothing else.
AlwaysExcel
Senior Don Juan
Well I'm glad you're preaching that the pool of interested women will expand because I'll be damned if I'm going to settle with the pool of women who show obvious interest in me right now. Like someone else posted up on here recently, I rarely get eye contact in clubs. So I approach regardless of eye contact. Yeah I might waste my time but I felt that I was equally wasting my time and not learning when I stayed with the safe easy bets--I like to be challenged too! Yeah I could get laid everyday but with women who do not arouse me and who aren't challenging.
You'd probably agree that there are tradeoffs with every extreme and the best way is balance, like with everything in life. I'm highly successful in most areas of life but I'm weaker in the area of seduction. Improving myself in other areas is not as helpful for me because it feels like having a sculpted body with a shriveled arm. Now I'm not rejecting what you're saying by any means. My dealings with attractive women are connected to my dealings with people in general, which are connected to my own self image, self respect, and self discipline. This one particular area of my life is connected to the core. However, I don't feel that pulling back my focus to just view myself as a whole is any more helpful than just narrowing my focus on seduction in particular. It's good to constantly view things from different perspectives though.
I think the process you are talking about is the natural way of a lot of things, like martial arts or dancing for example. A person first has to discipline himself through focus and practice of exercises and drills. He can't just feel himself because he has no knowledge of what to do! Once the techniques are ingrained in that person's being, then focus on these particulars becomes inhibiting. It's time to expand the focus, feel and flow with the general state of being, while letting the self naturally act the way it has been disciplined to act. Then new techniques and styles develop out of this state and the process continues. Focusing on just the particular techniques or just the big picture is not the answer. The process of changing perspectives or experiencing both perspectives simultaneously is the most desireable and advantageous.
40quid
Don Juan
You're right, of course. My original motivation for starting the thread in the first place was almost a reaction to all the quick fix, technique-based posts that I'd been seeing at the time. I wanted to remind everyone that the big picture was there and to not lose focus on it. The original source of my frustration was that I was focusing so much on what technique to do when that I didn't really understand what I was trying to do in the first place.
About the original post: I definately agree that you have to come across as natural and not obsess over strategy. However I detect a sense of pride, a sense of "I dont need gimmicks to get women" in what he's saying. There seems to be some implicit discouragement based upon what I'm reading.
About the original post: I definately agree that you have to come across as natural and not obsess over strategy. However I detect a sense of pride, a sense of "I dont need gimmicks to get women" in what he's saying. There seems to be some implicit discouragement based upon what I'm reading.