Interpreting low IL over email

[Halo]

I have talked to a few girls from online, from match.com, and thought I would see if you guys have any techniques for gauging IL through email. Obviously the purpose of email should be to get her number, so that you can more properly setup a real date. But I think you can sometimes tell before that point.

Something happened recently with this one girl I exchanged a few (3 or so) mails with. I had found out the places she likes to go, which happen to be some of the same places I like, so I asked if she would like to meet for drinks one evening after work. A few days go by before she replies, and she talks about other stuff but she never answered that question, or even referenced it.

I am thinking this shows low IL, or at the very least dangerous flake factor. I wonder if I should even bother replying, I mean what am I going to do, ask her again? Don't think so.

What's your take on stuff like this?

 

[Starman]

low IL level in email = short responses, delay in response, avoiding questions like give me yer #, or lets meet!, talking about "buddy" things instead of sexually, not asking YOU questions

 

[Bud Wiser]

From what you described, I didn't see that you ever asked for her number before asking to meet. I've always had a phone conversation before meeting anyone from an online contact.

So -- go back and get her number, then try again.

That said, this doesn't look promising. A high online IL is usually characterized by one or more questions from her and often an enthusiastic tone in her writing.

What's worked best for me is to swap one to no more than three e-mails and then go for trading phone numbers.

Hey, no biggie...you're on Match, which has a gigantic member population. There are plenty more where she came from.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Halo
I have talked to a few girls from online, from match.com, and thought I would see if you guys have any techniques for gauging IL through email.

Stop relying on email. If she is interested, she would give you her phone number or set up a date. Simple as that.

 

[32swf]

be patient

from my experience on Match.com, it's very difficult to gauge interest level on email. all you can assume is that if she's still talking to you, she's somewhat interested.

She might have been at work, and quickly responded to your email and forgot to answer that part.

Or maybe she's not comfortable with meeting you yet. Remember, you are a total stranger to her. Women (especially online) need to be cautious. I've had men who say they want to meet me in their very first email. no thanks.

Give it some time, tell her about yourself... what you do, part of town you live in, what you do for fun, where you like to hang out. Once she gets a general sense of the kind of person you are, she'll agree to meet.

it is a good idea to chat on the phone first, before meeting.good luck.

 

[Halo]

I don't rely on email. I have met several girls from there, and hooked up with a few of them. This is the first one to go beyond a few initial emails, and I don't see the point of an endless email exchange. If she were interested she would've at least made some kind of reference to my suggestion, but she didn't. I'm not going to bother replying.

 

[John Juan]

the best way to guage her IL is see if she asks you any questions. does she want to know anything about you? if she doesn't, and just seems to be chatting friendly with you, you asking all the questions and then being left to guess what she might want to talk about next.. then her IL is low. That advice about number closing after 3-4 emails is dead on. Either talk on the phone to meet them in person, or its NEXT time.
-jlc

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Halo
I don't rely on email. I have met several girls from there, and hooked up with a few of them. This is the first one to go beyond a few initial emails, and I don't see the point of an endless email exchange. If she were interested she would've at least made some kind of reference to my suggestion, but she didn't. I'm not going to bother replying.

Out of curiosity, what did she say when you asked for her phone number or to meet up?

 

[OddTech]

Re: Re: Interpreting low IL over email

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Stop relying on email. If she is interested, she would give you her phone number or set up a date. Simple as that.

Word. For very high interest she will volunteer her number and ask to meet up. If her IL is low, she will "ignore" your request for the phone number.

 

[MisterAl]

Right, at the email stage you shouldn't even be thinking of IL. It's impossible to gauge correctly until you've met.

Don't worry about IL when emailing online girls. Concentrate on quantity of email responses from as many women that interest you or you have time for. Get digits within two or three emails, call her to arrange a simple weeknight date, and then worry about IL when you meet her.

In the past I've trapped myself into thinking that quality of email responses had something to do with the woman's interest. However I've found that there is no relationship. I've had online women who reply to their emails within 20 minutes, enthusiastically supplying me with digits and their life story, then turn around and not return the first voice mail. Other women who have been email duds turned into promising dating relationships after meeting them.

Get used to the online flakers.