Internet Dating Messaging

[Don Alfredo]

Right dudes, I need a bit of advice...

After setting up a profile on a dating site recently, I was clicking through a few profiles and performing quality control when I decided to fire off a few quick messages to a few that I thought were quite hot.

Dating sites are tricky, although they are getting easier. Some girls create profiles and never go on, some get no success and then don't bother checking regularly, whilst others get an insane amount of messages and either have no time to reply or become rather desensitized to it all.

Anyway, I received a quick reply back from a girl who has a great style and similar music tastes. Short and sweet. I replied back and it snowballed a bit to a good conversation thread. I might add that I got a reply to every message I sent (which wasn't overkill in case you were wondering). A good bit of friendly flirting, but I felt you can only get so far in one session and brought it to a close when it was getting good. I closed with "it's been great, yada yada, I hope it would be OK to message in the coming days" to which I received a short positive reply.

So, my question is not so much "should I message her", but how have you guys managed the whole messaging to meeting thing? I'm not the type that sends 100 messages a day and I'm pretty busy, but I want to sustain interest without seeming like a keyboard jockey. It can be tricky online, but this looks promising and I don't want to balls up. Only interested in replies from guys that have actually had success with this method. Cheers!

:rockon:

 

[backseatjuan]

Idea is to go from chit chat to real meet really fast. If she contacts you (or if you contact her & you look like brat pitt) then you two will f'ck. All you do is build rapport and get her out asap. Similar thing while out, let her talk, grab something with you, go find alone place and shag.

It could be as simple as she contacting you at midday, you building rapport for an hour (not much considering takes time to reply), then you two meeting at 9ish for a coffee, grabbing food and drinks, going to a nice quiet place and f'cking for couple of hours.

By the way that above is my first ever lay off internet, we f'cked on the back seat of my car.

Idea is to move quick onto a date, and since dark evenings is when most good stuff happens, plan an after dark date. The go for the kill.

 

[GotED?]

This is advice for those who are 'Captain Save-A-Ho' by the way. Not for everyone who is looking for quality - but all's fair play depending on what kind of rules you play by.

 

[IronDJ]

The way it usually goes for me is this:

I message "hey x," where x=the name, and I include something from her profile we both have in common and ask about it. If she's interested, she'll answer back about it. She usually asks what do I like to do for fun, but if she doesn't I follow up with that. After that exchange I start setting up the date, which is either drinks or coffee depending on how comfortable they are going to a bar.

Virtually every online date I've had has gone through some iteration of that exchange. I don't really like talking for 10-20+ messages trying to set a date. We've both seen each other's profiles, so we already know all we're letting the other know until the first date. Might as well get things going.

 

[backseatjuan]

I don't get what gotED means, care to elaborate?


As far as what to message, it's useful creating an HB profile and read all those messages men write. You'll find that "hey x, something in common, question" is one of the most common messages you get. "Hi" or "how you doing" second most popular. Least common is to see straight up let's go out or chat on phone. So IF she finds your pic interesting, she will read, and find yiur post highly uncommon.

I bet op is a hot guy since he got them all to respond. Suggest you be more direct. You can not wead out anything over sms, have to go out.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Real talk, I met the girl I'm dating now from an online site (POF). She hit me up that morning with a message; by the end of the day, we were making out in her car, date #1 (and had sex by date #2).

I can't remember the full exchange in exact detail, but it was similar to this:

Her: Hi, you seem like an interesting guy.

Me: Thank you. (The next line I sent her was B.S., but works on girls quite well). I was looking through your pictures and, although we haven't met, you seem different from some of the other girls on here. Then again, it could just be you take really nice pics, hopefully I'm not wrong.

Her: Why thank you. Yes, I'm pretty easy going. So, what do you like to do for fun?

Me - (No response. In fact, I went NC for about 5 hours, from 10 AM to 3 PM while I got up and ran errands, hung out with a friend, etc. Finally, I got back and saw she had messaged me. It was still early in the day, so I decided to be bold). I like to do a lot of things for fun. Quick question: you feel like meeting up today? I have some free time later tonight, we could meet up if you're available.

Her: Yeah, sounds like fun!

We made plans to meet up at a pizza shop I liked, and it went from there.

Here's the thing: the most important thing you can do to meet up with a girl is ASKING HER TO MEET UP. In sales, they call it "asking for the order." Like backseatjuan said, dudes will send messages to a girl all day, yet rarely have the ballz to finally ask her out. It's like they're expecting her to do it, which puts him in the AFC category.

If they hit you up first, that's about as close to them asking you out as you're going to get - AND they showed interest first, so unless you two have NO chemistry you're almost guaranteed to hit it.

 

[omega05]

You need to get the number as soon as possible now

 

[pdx1138]

I suggest a meetup by the third message at the latest.

After saying something like "you seem like a fun person to be around."

 

[incognito42]

I've got a ton of numbers since June on Pof and 99% of the time I ask for the number by the 3rd or 4th message

The 2 most important things I can stress are 1) go for the number after 3-4 messages, and 2) setup a meet FAST.

For example...send out Initial message like others have mentioned. Try using humor. 2nd message ask how the sites treating them. 3rd message tell them you're not on their much, you're busy a lot, and for them to give you there number and you'll call them sometime. Within 24 hours of getting the number you should text them something like "hey jen, this is Sean. Here's my number. I'll talk to you soon. "...they'll probably text you back saying "ok " or maybe asking how yourday is. Now it's important to keep texting to a minimum unless you're setting up the meet or trying to get nudes or building rapport using subtle sexual innuendo. Setup the meet within the same week as getting the number, or within the next few days. You can push it to the following week if she's really feeling you. If not she'll lose interest fat and probably have 5 other guys gaming her on the net

 

[Don Alfredo]

Thanks guys. The consensus seems to be I don't have much time with this, so use the window of opportunity, as it were. Strike whilst the iron is hot. I am aware of the PoF threads on here currently, and also in the recent past, but maybe devote a section on the main website or have a few more threads on here about dos and don'ts of internet dating. Cheers!

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I've got a ton of numbers since June on Pof and 99% of the time I ask for the number by the 3rd or 4th message

The 2 most important things I can stress are 1) go for the number after 3-4 messages, and 2) setup a meet FAST.

For example...send out Initial message like others have mentioned. Try using humor. 2nd message ask how the sites treating them. 3rd message tell them you're not on their much, you're busy a lot, and for them to give you there number and you'll call them sometime. Within 24 hours of getting the number you should text them something like "hey jen, this is Sean. Here's my number. I'll talk to you soon. "...they'll probably text you back saying "ok " or maybe asking how yourday is. Now it's important to keep texting to a minimum unless you're setting up the meet or trying to get nudes or building rapport using subtle sexual innuendo. Setup the meet within the same week as getting the number, or within the next few days. You can push it to the following week if she's really feeling you. If not she'll lose interest fat and probably have 5 other guys gaming her on the net

Exactly. You want to be the man in the whole scenario. Or the man of all the other "men" who are talking to her. Meaning. You go for what you want quickly. No trying to continue being funny, or being email pen pals/texting buddies.

Funny unique intro email *** (have your best pics up. Shirtless and cut up work best for one of your pics or a button down shirt with a few buttons undone if you aren't ripped)

After they respond ask them how the site is treating them.

then after that tell them you aren't on the site much Give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime. =) (Your real name)

This automatically gets rid of time wasting chicks who want pen pals, and it also shows chicks you go for what you want.

Keep spamming chicks your main intro email and getting numbers. Call 24 hours later or text with a plan to meet.

Let the rest even if they are gaming these chicks and getting responses sit there wasting time going back and forth, or not asking for the number. She'll either think the "hotter" dude is a fake profile or a pvssy in real life as he never asks for her number or called her to go hang out and is being a clown or her pen pal.

Get the number A.S.A.P 4 emails max. Call within 24 hours with a plan to meet and or hang out. Escalate on the meet or if you get sexual with them (on the phone and or in text) even if they play along they'll most likely flake when you want to meet them.

Keep doing the same process over and over and getting a bunch of numbers to not care if one, two or three chicks flake. You'll have a bunch of numbers and the previous flakes may just all of a sudden later on text you to meet. Meet them, escalate but NEVER wife one of those chicks up.