Internet Dating 101

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm posting a PM that I got because it may be helpful to some of you plus the person's mailbox is full:

********* wrote on 09-01-2005 08:43 PM:
can you give me an example of the type of opening note you would send to a female you're interested in online? Better yet... could you grab one and paste it here? I'm not going to copy it, im trying to get a sense for the type of stuff you talk about and the "feel" of the note.

Giving you one of my notes won't help. It will literally make little sense what so ever. Here's both the reason why and why I get engaging responses. This doesn't mean that all of them pan out but it definitely helps in getting more positive responses than not.

1. Have a profile that catches a woman's attention. Both the headline AND the profile should be unique enough to make her want to read it AND for her to comment on it. I get my share of emails from women from other states commenting on how much they enjoyed my profile. I'm a HUGE proponent of using humor and confidence (it's a less ****y version of c/f).
2. When you read her profile, make note of what's unique about it. Things that she is proud of, her passions, what she gets excited about. Hell, the reason why you want to write her other than her massive mamories.
3. When you write her, mention a couple of the things you noted in #2. ALSO, find and talk about some funny hook or link with something in your profile. It doesn't need to be something similar either, there is humor in exaggerating the differences.
4. Remember to keep it funny. Women enjoy guys who are in a good mood and can make them laugh in everyday situations. But don't give her all of your good stuff, you need to have something to knock her over when you meet.
   [/list=1]
   
   If you are lucky, your personality will help you engage women online this way. Just remember that you have to emote this type of charisma even more-so when you meet. Basically you need to exceed her expectations.

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Post them on some free site that you can post pics and post a link to them.

i dunno if I'm gonna call this chic.. she's 10 years older than me.. last time i met up with a chic from match that much older than me there was no 2nd date and a waste of time and money.

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Post them on some free site that you can post pics and post a link to them.

\



Will do... coming right up

 

[Immaculate]

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724D.jpg

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724C.jpg

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724B.jpg

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724A.jpg


black and white = red flag

I emailed her and told her i'll call her soon i'm really busy

what do ya think should I call?

She's 35, never married, doesn't want kids per her profile. I'm 26 , those pics could be 10 years old... she don't look 36 in those pics does she?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Immaculate
i dunno if I'm gonna call this chic.. she's 10 years older than me.. last time i met up with a chic from match that much older than me there was no 2nd date and a waste of time and money.

I've been on a run of MILFs this summer, there's a couple that I kept in rotation. It's a pain that they aren't always available but then again, that can be a good thing. It keeps me from becoming complacent and I sarge regularly just for the sake of it.

But I'm off track, back to time and money. Personally I enjoy meeting new people plus I occasionally enjoy a good latte. Hey, why not combine the two??!!!

Look; I meet a woman, I tell her that I'm stopping by a really cool coffee shop to unwind and that she should stop by. I get there, get myself a coffee, read the paper or surf the net. She gets there, I welcome her and tell her go get herself a cup and join me. We chat, have a good time and maybe exchange numbers.

No matter what happens, I have a good time for little or no cost. No pressure, no expectations and women seem to enjoy that. They tell me that so many of their other dates the guy goes out of their way to show them a good time with a movie, dinner and drinks afterward and then expects them (maybe rightly so) to give them something in return. Not me, I tell her to buy herself a cup of coffee. I'm allowing her to share my space, that should be enough, right?

Make any sense?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Immaculate
http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724D.jpg

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724C.jpg

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724B.jpg

http://photobucket.com/albums/b300/basilty/th_28986724A.jpg


black and white = red flag

I emailed her and told her i'll call her soon i'm really busy

what do ya think should I call?

She's 35, never married, doesn't want kids per her profile. I'm 26 , those pics could be 10 years old... she don't look 36 in those pics does she?

I've met my share of attractive 30-somethings and it's possible for them to be hotties. I usually ask for a recent picture of them doing something that they enjoy, preferably sports (I have a thing for athletic women). If they don't have one it raises a yellow flag for me.

I'd call and set up a meeting. Take a look at my last post about setting up a simple meeting. Nothing fancy, maybe a half an hour of your time is it's a bomb. I actually had one that lasted seven freaking hours. It ended up as a semi LTR (almost two years), anyway; a lifetime ago, another story.

If she balks at a meeting or pushes the date back, she should drop lower on your prospects list. But no matter what, don't become bitter and always present yourself well. You never know, your paths could cross unexpectedly. Trust me, it can happen.

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I've met my share of attractive 30-somethings and it's possible for them to be hotties. I usually ask for a recent picture of them doing something that they enjoy, preferably sports (I have a thing for athletic women). If they don't have one it raises a yellow flag for me.

I'd call and set up a meeting. Take a look at my last post about setting up a simple meeting. Nothing fancy, maybe a half an hour of your time is it's a bomb. I actually had one that lasted seven freaking hours. It ended up as a semi LTR (almost two years), anyway; a lifetime ago, another story.

If she balks at a meeting or pushes the date back, she should drop lower on your prospects list. But no matter what, don't become bitter and always present yourself well. You never know, your paths could cross unexpectedly. Trust me, it can happen.

[


She suggested in her email she wants to meet up for drinks...(think she meant alcohol like a bar)

If I got game, that translates to her being at my house or vice versa after the drinks. Only problem is I'm so damn busy working 6 days a week am to pm.. and I'm so damn tired after work.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Immaculate
[


She suggested in her email she wants to meet up for drinks...(think she meant alcohol like a bar)

If I got game, that translates to her being at my house or vice versa after the drinks. Only problem is I'm so damn busy working 6 days a week am to pm.. and I'm so damn tired after work.

Remember, she suggested. You can take her suggestion under consideration but when it comes down to it, are you going to do what you want to do or what she wants? Look, you don't know each other so why plan something like that? Too cliché. Keep it simple. If you hit it off, then change the venue. You're in the drivers seat, right?

As for the job, not to long ago I was working the graveyard shift. I had to change from a regular schedule to one that fit me. I saw women before work, did my eight hours and then did my training or raced after work. Yeah, it was a b1tch at first but by the second week, it was like clockwork. It can be done, just with a concentrated effort.

 

[Bonhomme]

Each to their own

^_^ wrote:

I'm not sure about y'all but I have trouble meeting them online compared to real life. I dont know it's just more ackward when you cant have them in front of you to play and interact with.

I know where you're coming from. Perhaps online sarging's just not for you. Everone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses.

I'm not suited particularly well to online dating, as opposed to meeting people in person because:
1) I'm not particularly stable or settled-down career-wise compared to others my age,
2) have a relatively weak voice, despite having worked on it, which too often kills the attraction on the phone, and
3) won't even get off the starting line with most of the younger, less settled women I tend to hit it off with in person (I look younger than I am), because I don't meet their "laundry list," and haven't the means to counter it online with many of my strengths that are only evident in person.

My greatest strengths at attracting women are visual and tactile: my style, the way I carry myself, dancing, eye contact, and kino. None of these I've been able to effectively convey online, except, to a slight degree, my style.

However good a profile you write, online dating is by its very nature very age-centric and "laundry list"- centric. If you don't fit the mold, you're operating with a hand tied behind your back.

So the online thing is not best for me. Perhaps it's not best for you, either, ^_^ .

 

[Immaculate]

SO you mail a girl on myspace and tell her that something about her profile caught your attention... then she asks "what caught your attention"?

What's a good response to this?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Immaculate
SO you mail a girl on myspace and tell her that something about her profile caught your attention... then she asks "what caught your attention"?

What's a good response to this?

Wouldn't it be whatever caught your attention in her profile in the first place? Am I over simplifying this or what?

 

[Immaculate]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Wouldn't it be whatever caught your attention in her profile in the first place? Am I over simplifying this or what?

The thing that caught my attention is she is a hottie... but I can't tell her that .. I need something witty to say know what I mean?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Immaculate
The thing that caught my attention is she is a hottie... but I can't tell her that .. I need something witty to say know what I mean?

Well, they say that you should neg-hit hotties to get their attention. I think they say that they should be HB9s or above, the ones that come off as being something special just because of their looks and expect to be treated a certain way.

Why not say that she has an attractive picture and ask if it was taken by a professional photographer and airbrushed. I think that constitutes as a neg-hit by definition.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well, the temperature is dipping a bit here in Minnesota and the number of women I meet on the street while riding my bike is nil. So now I see myself putting a little more emphasis on sarging online and thus I bump this thread originally posted by Player_Supreme (R.I.P) in case any other DJs are working on their online skills.

 

[Immaculate]

MODS this thread deserves a gold plated sticky... Why did they take it off sticky? This thread is golden!

 

[Immaculate]

BLING Struck gold on Match finally

Ok guys .. where did this thread go? Check out the respone I got froma cutie on match:

"You seem like someone I could hang with. I like to be a little goofy now and then, but if you ask my coworkers they'll tell tell you I act like that all the time. I'm not too far from ****** so if you'd like to go out and have a good time let me know. Hope to hear from you"
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Can anybody help me formulate a good reply? I'd be grateful...Francisco where you at man??

 

[insomniac]

Re: BLING Struck gold on Match finally

Originally posted by Immaculate
Ok guys .. where did this thread go? Check out the respone I got froma cutie on match:

"You seem like someone I could hang with. I like to be a little goofy now and then, but if you ask my coworkers they'll tell tell you I act like that all the time. I'm not too far from ****** so if you'd like to go out and have a good time let me know. Hope to hear from you"
-----------------------

Can anybody help me formulate a good reply? I'd be grateful...Francisco where you at man??

I've gotten two or three messages like that. One 20yo hairdresser simply wrote "So when should we meet?". I busted on her about being too young for me, but then she flaked after two e-mails.

You could simply try "I'm free this night next week, let's met at blah blah at 7pm." If the interest level is already there on her part, why mess with it?

 

[Immaculate]

...

 

[Immaculate]

Dayum .. I just asked for her # and she replied

"call me tonight or anytime tomorrow can't wait to hear from you"

This chic wants it..but ofcourse I can't call on a Fri. night...or should I say fuggit call tonight
according to her profile she's a single mommie..
blah

but she's cute

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: BLING Struck gold on Match finally

Originally posted by Immaculate
Ok guys .. where did this thread go? Check out the respone I got froma cutie on match:

"You seem like someone I could hang with. I like to be a little goofy now and then, but if you ask my coworkers they'll tell tell you I act like that all the time. I'm not too far from ****** so if you'd like to go out and have a good time let me know. Hope to hear from you"
-----------------------

Can anybody help me formulate a good reply? I'd be grateful...Francisco where you at man??

Her note is exactly the type replies that I enjoy most.

• Confidence
• Straight forward
• Obviously interested
• Takes initiative

You can never go wrong sarging these women, as long as they are your type physically. You'll be able to finish qualifying her on during your first meeting.

I would reply with C/F and refer to her calling herself goofy, that's always a good opening. Follow it up with something mildly self defecating and then finish with a small complement. She'll be eating out of your hand.

This is the time to meet up somewhere, if she suggests dinner and/or a movie be sure to tell her that you want to keep it simple (and yes) suggest a coffee house or have breakfast somewhere. I just realized the hole in the wall restaurants that serve good breakfasts are worth gold.