Interesting to watch branch swinging when you're the branch

[gaspipe]

Wow this thread really hits home. In 2006 my net worth was well over a million dollars. Due to the real estate collapse and the poor economy I was forced into bankruptcy in 2009. I pretty much lost everything including my properties and my businesses. All this caused me to spiral into a depression for a long period of time and took a toll on my confidence. There was a long stretch where I didnt even attempt to approach women let alone go out on dates. I was too depressed and confidence shaken.

If anything the process really humbled me and maybe that is why God allowed me to lose everything. Sometimes these things happen for a reason. Its the cycle of the universe I guess. Im slowly but surely rebuilding myself and my confidence and basically starting over again. Im making pretty good money as an attorney but i just dont have the kind of disposable income i used to have. I have a kid to support among other things (child support) and the cost of living where I live is pretty high. Ive realized that the party is over at least for now.

If anything Ive become a stronger and much wiser person as the result of my loss. Ive been lucky in that the few women who have seen me through the process have been pretty loyal during the dark period of my life. While I understand the point of this thread, there are still good and decent women out there who wont drop you at the first sign of financial woe.

 

[Zunder]

Sometimes these things happen for a reason. Its the cycle of the universe I guess.

Things don't happen "for a reason".
When things happen you give yourself a "reason" to do something about it.

 

[acw]

Good post!

Since there are so many DJ's who seem in accord, it reinforces the facts of life...and the Targets we are dealing with.

What kinda of character branch swings?

This a person of low self esteem and low value as a friend. A lonely person (deep down) who is superficial in all respects. A very self-centered person who is the antithesis of friend.

Women are Whorres....plain and simple. Once in a Great While, you will find a keeper. But most of them are in it for the ride, the romance, the fun, and don't expect it to ever change. Once you see what they are made of...you won't get hurt. Its the one's who deceive you...they're the ones that hurt.

Everyday....get better....get stronger....and get smarter. More Discipline...More experience, More Brains!-------this is where its at.

Remember, a women's power is in her looks and her sexual performance level. This is closely tied to her age. As she ages, she loses power.

Your power is You Mental, physical and spiritual Health ------these are the most important assets you possess----compromise them for No One!

The Wheel rolls around again...Just be Ready when it comes your way.

~Semper Fi

 

[Zarky]

Interesting seeing this old thread and where I was 3 years ago! The first half of 2011 was a pretty bad time for me.

What's interesting is that, starting a month after I wrote that OP, I f*cked 4 chicks. That closed out the year.

The chick I was b*tching about in the OP dumped me the day before Christmas Eve and I was very upset but then started a LTR in January with a chick I wound up dating for 10 months as well as banging 5 more chicks later in 2012.

And then in 2013 I banged 13 new chicks LOL.

However, this year has seen me tending to my three MLTRs. One of which started summer 2012, one started summer 2013 and one started last october.

No new women at all this year! And I've given it a try, for sure. Serious drought, but I don't have weekends free (due to the MLTRs) and that definitely cramps my ability to bang new ones.

So life does change. It's all ups and downs. I guess you better enjoy things when you're on top. Thanks for bringing back this thread.

 

[Vulpine]

The back-burnered FWB is great insurance against the "branch swing".

I've got at least 3 "dropped FWB plates" that would still be down for a slump-breaker after several years of NC.

Consider retaining a FWB for the purpose of "safety net" or "landing pad". No matter how bad things will get, there's a landing pad that keeps "the bottom" soft.

V: "Hey, FWB, long time..."
FWB: "YEAAAH! How ARE you!?"
V: "Well, my situation is changing. Are you still down?"
FWB: "For when?"


Anyway, yeah, the "hard-time branch-swing" is quite a blow. It's an emotion thing with women. The water gets hot, so they feel that they need to jump out of the pot (and paint a target around that arrow to justify it).

I've wondered if spinning up an old FWB for side-action wouldn't be just the medicine for a boost. Then, I considered actively sarging for a "guest star" for a 3-way to put excitement back into a relationship. Not only would it require you to brush off your game and get your head right (confidence work), but also injects a little drama/distraction into a stalling relationship.
Her: *looking for the exit of your burning building*
You: "Hey, meet so-and-so. And, I'd also like you to meet these ****tails, too. ****tails, meet so-and-so and her."

That sort of Blitzkrieg on a potential branch-swinger could go either way, I'm afraid. Bring home a third, and, it might be the final straw that ejects the branch-swinger sooner than later...

...but you may still be left with the "guest star".

Take the opportunity, proactively, to put some fire in the relationship, with a potential for upgrade (branch-swing insurance)?
Call a FWB that's been on standby for a confidence boost?
Or, what? Ride the spiral down and rebuild from the bottom?

I've completed that build it up/watch it crumble scenario several times. Surely there's a way to break-out of it once you discover the downward progression. Do you discreetly "cheat" to scavenge? Or, do you pre-empt and boot the chick to tend to your struggles alone?

I've done the pre-empt boot thing. "I can't drag you through this. Take a walk." In that case, the grasp on the next branch only tightened. So, I'm thinking of a way that would "swat the extended hand away from the next branch" sort of recourse.

When I met my frau, I was armpits deep in sleeping in my car for a third year of 5. I told her at the onset:
V: "Don't delude yourself. This thing I'm doing is going to get much worse before it gets better. You had best leave now, before you get too invested, it will be much harder for you later."
Her: Words. Words words words words and I want to be with you. Some more words.

With us, despite the potentially crappy assessment we COULD have, we focus on forward progress and the future. That might accidentally be the key to avoiding the branch-swing. By acknowledging the present and gauging against the past and future, you give a woman a sense or feeling of forward progress and accomplishment.
Her: (Complaints. Grievances. Words and words and negativity.)
V: "Look, last year was crap. But, look at all that got done in spite of that."
Her: (Stuff we did after stuff that happened. More accomplishments, some reluctant agreement.)
V: "See? And this year?"
Her: (List of good stuff vs. bad stuff, more agreement.)
V: "We're getting there. It doesn't all happen yesterday."
Her: (Agreement. Apology. Positivity.)

We talk in terms of the "emotional roller coaster" with women. Perhaps, when you are both heading down, the best way to avoid the crash is to not focus on the bottom, but to point to the other side of the roller coaster heading upwards? "Look, over there, it's going up! See!?"

It's the only thing I could imagine would keep the "hand from reaching": a positive outlook to counter her negative one.

Watching the branch swing... *phew!* certainly "interesting".