Interesting OLD match - any tips?

[FinallyAlpha]

Matched on Bumble on Friday. I extended her by 24 hours. She messaged at 2am on Saturday night (partying, drunk and horny?).

She is 23 y.o., student, pretty, nerdy, multilingual, mixed nationalities, not overweight.

Her message was cute.

I replied yesterday (Sunday) evening with some banter. She quickly responded. We chatted until I said bed time at 22:30.

I made sure to weave a date proposal into the chat at a fairly early juncture. She went silent for about an hour and then replied yes + more cute banter.

I told her to try my WhatsApp and she messaged me there instantly.

I told her I would follow up with firm details for our first date this weekend. I said it would be a "beach / sunshine themed first date" because that is something that I would genuinely enjoy, which I also made clear to her.

But, earlier in the chat, she told me that an artist she likes is playing in our city on Saturday night. (She doesn't know yet whether she's going)

• Should I buy two tickets to that gig on Saturday night and tell her that will be our first date? If I decide that the gig should be the date, then I just go ahead and buy the tickets, without forewarning her, right? Or do I propose that as the date before buying the tickets, just in case she can't go for some reason?

The reason I went for a daytime beach date was because I tried to think hard what I want to do. First date at a bar, club or restaurant isn't interesting to me as I don't drink alcohol. First date at a café might be a bit dry, unless we plan to move from café to beach / picnic at a park.

• Once the date is locked in, how about escalating sexually on the date? The format of the date will determine the type of escalation that is possible, of course. Just relax and express myself and don't overthink it?

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Finally, again, my OLD profile says I'm 28 (which is 5 years less than my actual age, 33). She seems like the type of woman that I would enjoy talking to about life, sharing stories etc. How do I navigate that? Just tell all my stories honestly like I normally would, and if she picks up on the age point, just say I'm 33?

I don't want to have to be thinking too much about that.

 

[pipeman84]

OLD and lying about your age ... you're really taunting the universe to send a crazy woman your way.
C'mon man, what self respecting guy lies about his age? You should really take a deep, hard look at yourself and solve your insecurities before trying to pick up women.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Finally, again, my OLD profile says I'm 28 (which is 5 years less than my actual age, 33). She seems like the type of woman that I would enjoy talking to about life, sharing stories etc. How do I navigate that?

You should own your age instead of lying about it. Invite her to your world in way that younger guys can't.
Lying about it will only serve you guaranteed headaches along the the road.

 

[jaymbrs]

I don't blame a guy for lying about his age on OLD if he's looking to get much younger women. I've experimented and have received WAY fewer matches from women in their early to mid twenties when using my real age. When I did what OP did, I got MANY more matches. It's not a matter owning your age, it's about playing the system.

To the OP, you don't even know this chick and already contemplating buying concert tickets for a first date?? No, man. Keep it simple. Meet her first, verify she is who she says she is, and if you vibe with her, then think bigger for next time.

 

[The Duke]

@FinallyAlpha, if you take her to that concert I'm having your name changed to "ForeverBeta". That's playing right into her hand and her frame. Stop trying to impress these girls so much.

You almost sound infatuated with a girl you haven't even seen or talked to in person. You've got blinders on already. She might be a liar like you and have pics when she was 50lbs lighter.

I'd meet at some beach restaurant right before sunset and if the convo flows take a nice walk on the beach together.

Your goal should never be sex. Your goal should be seduction. Seduction is what leads to sex. Don't put the cart before the horse.

 

[The Duke]

I've experimented and have received WAY fewer matches from women in their early to mid twenties when using my real age. When I did what OP did, I got MANY more matches. It's not a matter owning your age, it's about playing the system.

I can see getting many more matches, but how many of those additional matches resulted in dates that led to sex? What did you say when they called you out on your age? How did that go?

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Excellent feedback - thanks gents.

The age point made by @pipeman84 & @AureliusMaximus makes sense to me and I cannot argue against it. I'm therefore considering the following:

• Texting her tonight saying: "I fvcked up. I'm 33, not 28. [I'm going to delete that profile. And if I create a new one it will display my correct age.]"

Thoughts?

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Good points, well made re. the concert @jaymbrs & @The Duke

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Your goal should never be sex. Your goal should be seduction. Seduction is what leads to sex. Don't put the cart before the horse.

Very nice.

 

[jaymbrs]

I can see getting many more matches, but how many of those additional matches resulted in dates that led to sex? What did you say when they called you out on your age? How did that go?

It never came up because I never took them seriously. OLD is trash for anything serious. And yes I banged quite a few younger women who matched with me thinking I was 28. With that said, a 26 year old woman I'm currently dating knows my real age because I met her out and about and never needed to lie about it in order to be on her radar.

• Texting her tonight saying: "I fvcked up. I'm 33, not 28. [I'm going to delete that profile. And if I create a new one it will display my correct age.]"

Thoughts?

It might be too late with this one. Just don't bring it up unless you get serious. Though nothing against you, it probably won't.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Tell her to buy the tickets for both of you and the day of the concert drinks and food are on you.

 

[Murk]

I'm therefore considering the following:

• Texting her tonight saying: "I fvcked up. I'm 33, not 28. [I'm going to delete that profile. And if I create a new one it will display my correct age.]"

Thoughts?

Don’t do that, just don’t mention age until you think this could be serious, then say you put the wrong birthday when creating your profile and couldn’t change it.

I also put 28 on my profile to match with younger girls who might have default setting to max age 30. It’s not a big deal.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Don’t do that, just don’t mention age until you think this could be serious, then say you put the wrong birthday when creating your profile and couldn’t change it.

I also put 28 on my profile to match with younger girls who might have default setting to max age 30. It’s not a big deal.

Pfff I hope you're right. Hmmm I'm kind of conflicted. I'm pretty sh1t at lying.

Then you might ask, well why did you do it in the first place? The answer is to date and hook up with girls casually.

But I failed to consider, what if I meet a genuinely attractive woman. (This one might not be, she may be a walrus, until verified otherwise, yes.)

But at that point, I am dogsh111t at lying. Which is, itself, a problem.

My brain is fried.

 

[FlirtLife]

... I'm therefore considering the following:

• Texting her tonight saying: "I fvcked up. I'm 33, not 28. [I'm going to delete that profile. And if I create a new one it will display my correct age.]"

Two questions before you trigger the nuclear option:

(1) Does your actual age surprise people? Do people mistake you for early 20s?
(2) Did you use photo editing on the pictures you uploaded, to make yourself look younger?

If people generally think you're younger, and she's seeing accurate photos of you, there cpi;d be a chance to salvage this.

 

[Murk]

Pfff I hope you're right. Hmmm I'm kind of conflicted. I'm pretty sh1t at lying.

Then you might ask, well why did you do it in the first place? The answer is to date and hook up with girls casually.

But I failed to consider, what if I meet a genuinely attractive woman. (This one might not be, she may be a walrus, until verified otherwise, yes.)

But at that point, I am dogsh111t at lying. Which is, itself, a problem.

My brain is fried.

If you meet a girl you genuinely mutually connect with, they're not going to care if you lied about your age.

The girl I'm currently seeing thinks I'm 28, I'm using her to get through my breakup/no contact with my ex, so I don't really care about ever telling her. You haven't even met this chick.

Don't put the cart before the horse.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

(1) Does your actual age surprise people? Do people mistake you for early 20s?

Early 20's? Damn bruh. I'm 33. No but random people have guessed 28 (within the last couple of months).

(2) Did you use photo editing on the pictures you uploaded, to make yourself look younger?

No. One of my photos is from 2017. One if from December 2022. And one is from September 2022. And I look the same in all of them, as far as I can tell.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Well you all brought me to the brink (of nuking this) and back today. Plenty of food for thought. (And, indeed, a diverse range of views on SS.)

I'm going to go ahead with the date. Beach date on Saturday afternoon. I'll get a picnic blanket, cooler with snacks, one or simple, fun games. The approach will be to spend 2-3 hours chilling on the beach. Then, if vibes are good, walk somewhere nearby for food.

I will propose this to her tonight.

Be chill, enjoy myself, seduce.

 

[jaymbrs]

Man I remember like yesterday lying about my age to appear older.

 

[FlirtLife]

Early 20's? Damn bruh. I'm 33. No but random people have guessed 28 (within the last couple of months).

No. One of my photos is from 2017. One if from December 2022. And one is from September 2022. And I look the same in all of them, as far as I can tell.

People may guess younger to be polite, and you took those polite guesses and inserted it into your profile. So you pushed the limit there, but you have recent photos your date can view. I'd go for it. If you're looking for a girlfriend, when she asks your age I'd have her guess... then tell her your actual age. It's that or keep the lie going in every topic you discuss ("high school 15 years ago? I thought you were 28?").

To me, a 6 year old photo is the same as using editing software, but you have a few other photos in the mix. A travel photo might be a good idea, and maybe one near the beach/pool where women can see more of you.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

The date is booked for Saturday. It will be a picnic at the park, playing scrabble and twister.

What are some fundamental do's and don'ts on the date so that I can activate her emotionally and ensure the date is a success? What are the biggest mistakes that I need to avoid (e.g. talking about past sexual experiences, etc. etc.)?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I remember women saying this in their profile: "my profile says I'm 36, I'm really 42 but I can't change it, it's stuck that way...derp!!" Women pulled this move to get into guys match parameter settings then, once a guy matches with them, the guy doesn't care...it's a hole.

You already matched. You lied. You're stuck with that. However, if she likes you, she will rationalize whatever bull**** you decide to tell them. My advice, after meeting her, tell her the truth. She'll probably think you're slick and crafty and give you points for gaming the system.

Personally, I'd rather not have to cover my tracks like that but you do you.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Event dates are risky as a first date, particularly if you need to BUY her the tickets. That's a bit of a fed flag for me.