Interesting night, with a few questions...

[The Comeback Kid]

Hey guys,

Last night I was on a cruise with probably 200-300 people from my school (it was an organized event). While it was alright (highs and lows), there are a few questions I have as well.

I was eager for this cruise - there was a HB8 I've only met once and was looking forward to seeing her again. I found her before we went on the boat, we talked for a little, all seemed good. HOWEVER, they announced when we went on the boat that it would mainly be fast dancing. To me, this is a death blow. I am pretty good when it comes to mingling, socializing, etc. but when it comes to dancing...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . Grinding I'm OK and slow dancing I can do, but fast dancing I simply cannot do.

I did devise a strategy to make it look like I was active while I mingled, so it wasn't horrific dance-wise. I didn't know a lot of people on this cruise, but a few of the guys I knew were uneasy about this dancing as well. Overall, it was alright, but if it was more of the mingling (a similar cruise at my school was like that), it def. would have been better.

Some points:

1.) Some HB9.5 I use as social proof (has a bf) danced with me a little, but wouldn't grind. However, I see this natural DJ (more on him in a sec) talking to her for a while and they danced for a little later. Some interesting points about a dance from a DJ (who also didn't like dancing): 1.) Talk to the girl a little, get her a drink (usually free). 2.) They were both in committed relationships, so there was no fear of attachment and they could both me more open. 3.) If you're targeting a specific HB, take a glance (make EC), but at the same time, make it look like ur ignoring her (tis is probably like push-pull).

2.) The chick I was targeting must be very hard to get..she's hot (HB8) and I didn't see her w/ a guy all night. The bytch shield was the reason...she was usually with a pack of 4-5 friends that provided intimidation and tried to put fear in the guy I believe (I saw this work once). Anyway, when I go to talk to her, I see her little posse staring a hole through my head, so I smile and start introducing myself to them, sounding as optimisitc as can be (they did nothing lol). Seeing I wasn't afraid of her friends, she smiled and introduced me to her floor (all her friends are on her floor). Though her friends were still providing a c*ckblock, I felt I did alright (got some EC from her too). The one problem though is that she's playing too hard to get with guys, like I hardly see her talking to one despite her being cool when she is talking to someone she knows (like me). My question here is how to get her to open up more, especially if her friends are trying to protect her for w/e reason AND she is playing very hard to get as well.

So basically this is a FR of my night - nothing special. My only questions are about that chick and her playing extremely hard to get. There are many girls at my school, but I do not know many yet (yes, I'll get to work on that). Also, that DJ guy seemed to know what he was talking about, considering a "dance environment" is kinda like my kryptonite.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[Cableguy]

Talking to a chick in a pack of her friends can be brutal. Not only do they feel the need to protect their friend from horny dudes, I think deep down inside they're pissed you aren't hitting on them. Anyway, the key is isolation. You gotta get her away from the group.

Chicks play hard to get. Some play harder than others which is why it takes some game to get them interested. The AFC will shrivel away or end up in the FZ while the DJ will push the right buttons and get her curiosity up. You did the right thing by introducing yourself to her friends and showing them you weren't intimidated by them.

 

[Uro.Essence]

Classic mistake man, you're making it about her, shes dealing the cards to you and your just playing the ones shes handing out without getting the ones you really want. It's time to switch things around let you be the dealer for once. ( I like analogies sorry lol)

You say shes being hard to get, so you should play the same game next time you see her with her friends. Next time shes with her friends stand in a way that closes her off like having your shoulder to her when u talk. Say hi to the people you met last time adn were friendaly with, just have a routine ready a little pre-arranged convo that will get them interested. Everytime she talks neg her about something, show her you're not interested in her, so she sees you're not like all the rest of the guys trying to hit on her. The key is to win over her friends while neglecting her, having her trying then to win you over without you really having to hit on her.

Once she keeps opening up to you try to isolate her, tell her you're gonna go buy a round for the group for putting up with you and ask for her to help you bring back the drinks from the bar.

So now you have her away from the group and you can talk one on one BAM! Time to make magic happen and win her over.

Im sure now you know what to do after this step. If not just ask me to post more of what I'd do in this situation.

Goodluck for next time.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Thanks for the critique...just some opinions on ur replies:

Cableguy - yes, seeing your desired chick with her friends is not pretty. Isolating,as you say, is for sure the ideal solution. However, last night, this may have been a tougher feat than usual. On this cruise, no one knew a whole lot of people (I only knew a couple, as my friends weren't on this), so perhaps people were being a bit more protective. Also, when I saw this chick on the boat, she was sitting w/ her friends. The only real way I'm going to get her away is to openly ask her in front of her friends, and as we know, that probably isn't going to work.

Uro - good points, but I don't really care about her friends lol. Ok, I care enough to hop they don't get a bad impression of me, but I wouldn't really start a conversation with them. If I have a couple of friends there (so the numbering would be closer to even), then yes, it could work. But if it's one (me) against 5 (her friends), things may not go too well. The drinks here were free (and no alcohol, as it was a university organized event), so while buying them a drink is good, I'd basically be giving them a drink here. Your advice here was definitely good, I just don't know if it would have worked fully here based on when and where we were.

 

[Uro.Essence]

"I don't really care about her friends"
Thats where your thinking is going wrong man. You may not care about her friends, but she does. So by winning over her friends you're winning over her and you eliminate all potential **** blocks therein. Also the bigger the set (number of friends you step into) the better it is for you to be alone or with a wingman, it's easier to penetrate into a group and not be overshadowed by the other people you bring in. The more people you bring into that group the more people you have to be potential ****blocks and distractions The other group will also be less open to talking with you. Im telling you come up with a routine that will win over her and her friends (mostly her friends) , it will be much easier to isolate her after they have approved.

The other problem you mentioned was that the buying a drink thing wouldnt work cause' drinks were free. Just getting all of there drinks would haev done the same thing the point wasn't that you were buying there drinks just the fact you needed helping carrying them back so you could isolate the girl that way.

Everything i said really wasn't to say what you should've done but what you should try doing next you're in a situation like that with her next time. It could be any setting and it would work, just use the basic principles not neccesarily the details, but the guidline of:

Win over her friends
show value
act uninterested in her
lightly compliment her (push-pull)
isolate

Stick to the guideline and your chances of closing her will be greater then they would be otherwise.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I should have reworded this...

ok, I care about her friends, as in "getting their acceptance" (like winning them over, as u said), but I'm not going to try and befriend them either. Being nice acuaintances...good. Friends? eh... I know she obviously cares about her friends, so getting their acceptance is all I THINK I should be looking for.

Other than that, the rest of your post looks alright...I'll keep it in mind the next time this comes up.

 

[Uro.Essence]

Alright, Goodluck with the girl, and keep us updated on how your pursuit of her is going.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Alright, Goodluck with the girl, and keep us updated on how your pursuit of her is going.

Thanks. I'll try to keep you all updated on this as long the interest I have in her remains...I mean, I am a Frosh in college, so I'm not looking into getting a gf quite as much as I was in HS.

Anyway, solely based on the timing of classes and such, it wouldn't really be easy. We're in one 400+ person lecture together twice a week, but they give us ASSIGNED SEATS! :cuss: So I'm sitting nowhere near her (since I don't know where she sits lol). Also, we're in different dorms, which are a mile or so apart. I will see her next Monday for sure b/c my school (the one inside the University, like for business, arts and sciences, etc.) has fun activities for Freshmen throughout the first semester. But isn't a week a little long lol?

So far, I've come up with a few options if I wanted to see and talk to her IN PERSON:
1.) Somehow get lucky and happen to find her in that lecture class when I have it this week (remember, 400+ freshmen).
2.) Apparently, we like the same NFL team. They're playing the team closest to my University this Sunday, so it will definitely be on TV. My friends and I are probably all gonna be watching in one of their rooms (it's a quad). I doubt i"d ask her to come up since the room isn't huge and 6 other people (myself + 5 friends) would be there too. But that possibility still remains.
3.) Other (like some spur-of-the-moment thing I don't even know about right now). I'm not asking girls out on actual dates yet lol, as I've been in college for a week and a half, but who knows.

I did see her today and said hey, but not enough so we'd actually talk...I passed her on the sidewalk as I was in my groove during a running workout (run to where I lift 1.5 miles away, lift, and then run back). She did however see me running pretty well (i used to run track so I keep a pretty decent pace) and in my Under Armour (I have a solid muscular build, so that looks good too)

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Anyone have any other ideas or any suggestions? I'm in no way looking for a real relationship yet in college (too soon IMO), BUT it would be nice to get to know a chick pretty well (or a few lol) to kick things off.

I talk to her online sometimes, but it's been hard to get a hold of her in person due to the reasons I posted above (timing, etc), though her seeing me in my "Rocky-esque" workout with the under armour was pretty nice . If I was to try and make any arrangments on where to meet up, I would not want to do this over the computer though - in person will have a better effect.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

If anyone has any suggestions on what to do from here (other than the obvious "get in touch w/ her!"...I mean like something specific), I'd appreciate it.(check my latest two posts here on this thread)

Today's 400+ person lecture was the same as usual...I didn't see her, but it's not a big deal - nothing I need to worry about (I've been practicing not looking backwards, as I feel looking straight ahead and not worrying what is behind you shows more confidence).