Interest level, can it be restored..

[movistar]

I've been writing a few posts about this chick, but it's a long distance relationship, and I can tell that her interest level has dipped. She still seems to be into me sexually, but more or less seems to be spending less time with me. I say this because she was just in town, and I felt she could have made herself more available, there was a weird dynamic because she was in town with her family this time. Our text messages, and phone convos have shortened.

She has started gaming a little, doing things like saying she wanted to see me last night but, but somehow makes it as though its my fault we didn't meet up because I didn't text her the right thing....

Where I'm confused is, she still contacts me everyday and seems to want to continue on with something... When we have sex it's very passionate.

Why not just leave me alone? Is she just waiting for something better?

At this point, am I able to increase her interest level again?

 

[itishe]

best bet is step away. Just be aloof, have fun without her, and don't be sitting around the phone waiting for her to call. She'll sense somethings up.

 

[Szyzzlin]

WORDS of WISDOM: Only pursue women that have high interest levels.

 

[thevilittletroll]

long distance doesnt work, so i'd advise you to start spinning some plates. she's probably doing the same, thats why her interest levels have dropped. enjoy the time you spend together and the sex while it lasts, cause it sounds like its coming to an end. just play it cool, dont pressure her, dont start acting weird, and let her know you understand the situation. the only way to increase her interest levels is to be with her more often, and i'm sure thats not really an option. thats why long distance doesnt work.

 

[sinnerman]

i got out of ldr ltr 2 months back. during the last stages it was similar case with me. she'd initiate all contacts, try and gain my affection and so on but then she'd make excuses about she cannot meet me coz she cant control herself(it was true every time we had passionate s*x).

there is no full proof method to raise interest. but stop contacting her. dont return her calls all too often. make sure you're the one who ends the phone conversation first. and just do it naturally. yea and do something new, make your life exciting, read about something fascinating. i dont know what you two talk about but whatever her & yours common interest is, learn about in depth about it and talk to her about it and when the conversation is at the peak say you've to go or you've call waiting and then go NC. in short become more mysterious,interesting and less available.

 

[movistar]

Thanks for the responses...

It's amazing the things she says misses me, blah blah blah as a guy I just wouldn't even bother saying these things, maybe I have at some point, and just don't remember.

She is supposed to be moving to this area, but I noticed she has 7-8 new Facebook friends and they are all guys. So I'm guessing her next trip will involve seeing one or two+ of them, kinda how it happened for me. We started off doing the Facebook thing...

 

[st_99]

Well you're certainly right that IL dropped.

Start talking to her like a friend and try to mean it.

Say things like "been on any hot dates lately?" "You're such a good buddy/friend to have" Things of that nature (or whatever you think sounds friendish), she'll probably be thrown a bit. LJBF her WITHOUT actually saying, "lets just be friends" and keep it up if it starts working. IDK, sounds a little counterintuitive but it might work.

 

[bigneil]

If there is one hope in restoring interest level, it's not in romance, nostalgia, or even repeating the things that originally won her over. She will see all of these as manipulation and they will annoy her (in which case you may take Elmer's advice and dump her preemptively).

But what, if anything can restore interest level?

There is one hope.

Humor.

If (and it's a big if) you can manage to genuinely make her laugh again you will increase her interest by one notch. How do you achieve this? Take risks.

Remember: humor is the opposite extreme to shyness. It takes a bit of bravery to tell a joke because it risks offending someone (a crime in some states). The fact you are taking risks of offending her secretly impresses her. Plus, in your case you will use humor to make fun of the relationship itself. The way she already has!

 

[movistar]

If there is one hope in restoring interest level, it's not in romance, nostalgia, or even repeating the things that originally won her over. She will see all of these as manipulation and they will annoy her (in which case you may take Elmer's advice and dump her preemptively).

But what, if anything can restore interest level?

There is one hope.

Humor.

If (and it's a big if) you can manage to genuinely make her laugh again you will increase her interest by one notch. How do you achieve this? Take risks.

Remember: humor is the opposite extreme to shyness. It takes a bit of bravery to tell a joke because it risks offending someone (a crime in some states). The fact you are taking risks of offending her secretly impresses her. Plus, in your case you will use humor to make fun of the relationship itself. The way she already has!

I have been trying to add a lot of jokes into our conversations, I would say it has helped a little.

But overall, I can just tell that things are falling off.... my question is this.

Why does she even bother, I mainly just respond to her texts and calls, if she stopped calling or texting we probably wouldn't communicate. She will just come out with "hi baby, what are you doing?" "i miss you" she told me she wanted to undress me the other day....

Do they just want to keep you around?

 

[sinnerman]

I have been trying to add a lot of jokes into our conversations, I would say it has helped a little.

But overall, I can just tell that things are falling off.... my question is this.

Why does she even bother, I mainly just respond to her texts and calls, if she stopped calling or texting we probably wouldn't communicate. She will just come out with "hi baby, what are you doing?" "i miss you" she told me she wanted to undress me the other day....

Do they just want to keep you around?

my ex used to play this sorta games with me. hot and cold. one night she'd send me texts and talk with me like i mean the world to her. the next day ''we prolly shouldn't talk anymore'' or just plain no calls.

i guess they just do it naturally and do whatever they feel like doing in the moment. tis gal im talking about had extreme mood swings and behaviour went up and down like the dow jones. whether it was low IL or BPD i dont know. But theres no way you can control her behaviour. All you can do is be less serious, NEVER get emotional and don't judge her by her words. ACTIONS matter. Why a particular girl behaves hot & cold is a mystery and it's annoying and frustrating as hell I know. It maybe that she actually misses you, is horny but don't see a long term future or maybe she isn't so sure about whether things will work or not. But bottom line is hot & cold means low to moderate interest level. A girl with high IL would do be all over you all the time(my gal was in the early stages).

If she says something like you mentioned then just meet her do it. You never know if she'll feel the same way in future.