Intentionally didn't attempt a kiss on first date...surprisingly successful

[BackInTheGame78]

So I have to say I always tried to kiss a woman on a first date, but I read others saying not to and that works for them.

I decided to try it last night and actually also cut the date short. I told a woman that we were going out to play mini golf and then maybe get a drink after.

We played, convo was good, fun and occasionally sexual...I asked her what her superpower would be if she could have one and she said to be invisible...I immediately accused her of only wanting that so she could sneak in the bathroom and watch me in the shower and she cracked up laughing...

At the end of the game we walked out and I told her unfortunately I had to run so we couldn't grab a drink tonight and she looked a little disappointed but then said well I don't leave for vacation for 2 weeks maybe we can do that another night and I said maybe...we will see. Gave her a hug and wished her a good night.

Before I get home I get a text saying how much fun she had and hoping we could get together for a drink sometime soon with 3 exclamation points.

I guess those advocating for no kiss on a first date might not be as wrong as I thought they were. Learning moment for me for sure.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@BackInTheGame78 Good sh!t bro. Good thing you got 3 exclamation points. If she'd only put 2, that'd be a bad sign.

I'm a proponent of a first date lasting no longer than an hour and a half. Maximum. Not counting back to your/her place for sex, of course, if there is any.

This one didn't even last an hour...maybe 50 minutes.

 

[Romanemp22]

I've done that experiment recently. I went on a date in the span of one month with six different girls. With three I intentionally didn't go for the kiss on first date and with the other three I did.

Unsurprisingly girls I didn't even attempted to kiss were turned off after and didn't want to go on the second date while other three that I kissed were different story, initiating calls and texts, inviting me to hang out etc.

I guess it's a numbers game but generally women loves when you at least try even tho you might rejected. Whenever I didn't go for the kiss it backfired.

 

[MoMoses]

I guess those advocating for no kiss on a first date might not be as wrong as I thought they were. Learning moment for me for sure.

This is just one case. With a girl who had high interest so she would have returned your kiss and things would have been hot and heavy by now. (well done on your part btw)

I agree that you can get the girl without kissing her at the first date

However, the real power lays in the girls that aren't too convinced and are even showing signs of losing interest. Last wednesday I went on a date and I was losing her along the way. She started talking about how I was fun but I wasn't exactly her type and she actually started thanking me for the great time during the date (= she was building up to a good bye). I just leaned in and kissed her there and then in the middle of the street. She was very surprised and in a reflex wanted to take a step back, but then she changed her mind and went all in aswell.

Been texting me eversince and I'm seeing her tomorrow evening because friday as I suggested ealier was "too long to wait" for her.

This is why going for the kiss on the first date is important. It spikes the emotions of both the girls who are interested (and who will meet you again even without a kiss) and those who you wouldn't be seeing again if there wasn't a kiss.

Chicks follow their emotions. When they have doubts they tend to flake on a second date. Make sure she has no doubts and feels swept away.

 

[MoMoses]

I'm a proponent of a first date lasting no longer than an hour and a half. Maximum. Not counting back to your/her place for sex, of course, if there is any.

Tried this a few times after reading into Jim Wolfe's dating advice. I seem to have mixed results with this one. At one point I even cut the date short with a really hot chick who was giving lots of signals she was digging it and when I contacted her again 4 days later (as Wolfe suggested) she said I turned her off by leaving after just one hour. She "wants a man who thinks she is worth his time"

Obviously this was a bimbo who's used to getting guys to do whatever she wants so I highly doubt it would have worked out, but still.. when I take my dates on real, longer dates, where we change places a few times and scroll around town together.. my chances of getting her are much, much higher.

Maybe the half an hour-one hour dates just don't work for me? Because I've read and heard from other guys this works extremely well for them.

 

[bat soup]

I've done that experiment recently. I went on a date in the span of one month with six different girls. With three I intentionally didn't go for the kiss on first date and with the other three I did.

Unsurprisingly girls I didn't even attempted to kiss were turned off after and didn't want to go on the second date while other three that I kissed were different story, initiating calls and texts, inviting me to hang out etc.

I guess it's a numbers game but generally women loves when you at least try even tho you might rejected. Whenever I didn't go for the kiss it backfired.

I would rather go for the kiss and find out whether there is interest. I don't want to keep going on dates if that's not the case.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Not kissing on the first date is fine. However, the kiss seems to be better way of screening so I do go for it. Even if you get rejected it forces the girl to make a decision if she wants to proceed with you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not kissing on the first date is fine. However, the kiss seems to be better way of screening so I do go for it. Even if you get rejected it forces the girl to make a decision if she wants to proceed with you.

I usually do also, just thought I would try a different approach and see if it worked.

 

[Tilex]

I have never gone on a 2nd date if I didn't kiss them on the first.
The kiss is what seals the deal.
But even for certain chicks it's not enough.
I've been through this pattern many times where I've kissed on some dates and not on others.
Always kiss them on the first encounter! That's how you leave a good impression.

Believe it or not, you could even kiss them during a direct approach.
The moment you get strong eye contact during the conversation, be bold and go for it!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have never gone on a 2nd date if I didn't kiss them on the first.
The kiss is what seals the deal.
But even for certain chicks it's not enough.
I've been through this pattern many times where I've kissed on some dates and not on others.
Always kiss them on the first encounter! That's how you leave a good impression.

Apparently not always. Several people on this board and AMS are successful and advocate for NOT kissing on the first date. I believe it stems from having a mindset that you are qualifying them rather than the other way around.

In some ways, perhaps feeling the "need" to kiss shows a scarcity mindset? I date pretty heavily...usually 2 new women a week so I will have plenty of chances to utilize this.

I'm not sure if I will continue doing this or not...might start splitting down the middle and compare results.

 

[Tilex]

Apparently not always. Several people on this board and AMS are successful and advocate for NOT kissing on the first date. I believe it stems from having a mindset that you are qualifying them rather than the other way around.

I qualify women based on the amount effort they put in.
If you experienced things at 100%, you'll know if you're getting it at 50% or less from other people.

I test on how they hug and how they kiss.
Ever had a half a$$ed hug? It feels awkward as hell!
It makes you not want to hug them again, right?
What about a half a$$ed kiss? Feels strange right?
I know I'm getting a 100% good kiss when a chick doesn't hold back.
These are the type of kisses that get me a 2nd date with sex included.

Whenever a chick goes halfway in physical contact, that tells me her interest is mediocre at best.
I usually get turned off if I only get half her affection.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Apparently not always. Several people on this board and AMS are successful and advocate for NOT kissing on the first date. I believe it stems from having a mindset that you are qualifying them rather than the other way around.

In some ways, perhaps feeling the "need" to kiss shows a scarcity mindset? I date pretty heavily...usually 2 new women a week so I will have plenty of chances to utilize this.

I'm not sure if I will continue doing this or not...might start splitting down the middle and compare results.

Ive tried both approaches (kiss vs no kiss) over the years. The first date kiss doesn’t increase or decrease their interest level, nor is it an immediate accurate test if interest. I’ve found no correlation between if I kissed her on the first date or not leading to an eventual bang. The only difference in outcome I’ve noticed is that going for the kiss does force them to reveal their interest level sooner when it comes to the second date. Second dates were more common by not going for kiss but it took more dates for them to drop off. However, the girls I’ve attempted to kiss (reject or not) let me know before the second date if things were going anywhere. I’ve banged a lot of chicks that rejected my first date kiss attempts. I’ve also kissed a lot of chicks on the first date that never answered my phone calls after. Hope all of that makes sense...

 

[ThisIsSparta]

For what its worth:

*Every LTR after my "sexual revolution" (with 25y) startet with a first date kiss or me at least trying.
*My best fvcks were first-date-kissers.
*95% of first date kisses ended in fvcks on first or (mostly) second date..... the other 5% flaked or got flaked.

Another interesting fact of MY collected fvcks:

Of the women i ended up fvcking, the first date kissers were mostly the better looking women (7and up) while the 5s and 6s rather kissed on 2nd or 3rd date. In retrospect the good looking girls did respond better on escalation during the date then the normal girls which seemed to be more on the cautious side.
When there was no kiss on first date, the flake rate of good looking girls on 2nd dates was higher compared to the 5s and 6s (which didnt flake most of the time anyway).

 

[BackInTheGame78]

For what its worth:

*Every LTR after my "sexual revolution" (with 25y) startet with a first date kiss or me at least trying.
*My best fvcks were first-date-kissers.
*95% of first date kisses ended in fvcks on first or (mostly) second date..... the other 5% flaked or got flaked.

Another interesting fact of MY collected fvcks:

Of the women i ended up fvcking, the first date kissers were mostly the better looking women (7and up) while the 5s and 6s rather kissed on 2nd or 3rd date. In retrospect the good looking girls did respond better on escalation during the date then the normal girls which seemed to be more on the cautious side.
When there was no kiss on first date, the flake rate of good looking girls on 2nd dates was higher compared to the 5s and 6s (which didnt flake most of the time anyway).

The problem with this is the ones who aren't kissing on the first date is because likely you TRIED to kiss them and they rejected it.

There is a difference between attempting a kiss and not getting it versus not attempting a kiss.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've got a first date Thursday night. Drinks at a bar, then dinner at a different place.

It'll be tough, since I'm usually a 'go for the kiss' guy, but I'm going to give this a shot. See what happens.

Make sure to give the impression that you are confident you could get the kiss but choosing not to attempt it.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

The problem with this is the ones who aren't kissing on the first date is because likely you TRIED to kiss them and they rejected it.

There is a difference between attempting a kiss and not getting it versus not attempting a kiss.

Rejection rate on my advances was allways very low, because i payed attention on the chemistry during the date. If i got signals from her, i escalated. If not, then not.

From all the women i kissed, more then half of them happened on the second date, that doesnt change my personal numbers as stated above.

In terms of good looking girls, LTRs and great fvcks i was more successfull with first date kisses.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Rejection rate on my advances was allways very low, because i payed attention on the chemistry during the date. If i got signals from her, i escalated. If not, then not.

From all the women i kissed, more then half of them happened on the second date, that doesnt change my personal numbers as stated above.

In terms of good looking girls, LTRs and great fvcks i was more successfull with first date kisses.

I am almost positive she would have enjoyed me kissing her. All the signs were there. She took her mask off when we left. Other women that didn't want a kiss always left it on. She kept extending the convo at the end of the date as we stood outside and talked. I chose to give her a hug. That was my choice. Will see what happens. So far she is displaying high interest and am pretty sure I will see her again.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I am almost positive she would have enjoyed me kissing her. All the signs were there. She took her mask off when we left. Other women that didn't want a kiss always left it on. She kept extending the convo at the end of the date as we stood outside and talked. I chose to give her a hug. That was my choice. Will see what happens. So far she is displaying high interest and am pretty sure I will see her again.

You will be fine. In 99,99% of the cases women flake because they think the man is disgusting, an idiot or he talked himself out of their pvssy, not because he didnt kiss her on the first date.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I have to say I always tried to kiss a woman on a first date, but I read others saying not to and that works for them.

I decided to try it last night and actually also cut the date short. I told a woman that we were going out to play mini golf and then maybe get a drink after.

We played, convo was good, fun and occasionally sexual...I asked her what her superpower would be if she could have one and she said to be invisible...I immediately accused her of only wanting that so she could sneak in the bathroom and watch me in the shower and she cracked up laughing...

At the end of the game we walked out and I told her unfortunately I had to run so we couldn't grab a drink tonight and she looked a little disappointed but then said well I don't leave for vacation for 2 weeks maybe we can do that another night and I said maybe...we will see. Gave her a hug and wished her a good night.

Before I get home I get a text saying how much fun she had and hoping we could get together for a drink sometime soon with 3 exclamation points.

I guess those advocating for no kiss on a first date might not be as wrong as I thought they were. Learning moment for me for sure.

That is interesting. But unfortunately, that is a very low number of subjects for any conclusion/data to be reliable. But def keep doing that, and once you hit the 15-20 subject mark come back with the results. We would be very interested in finding out what works.

One important thing to notate is the fact that you did sexualize the conversation. Meaning you created sexual tension and that is key. There is def immense power in saying NO to a woman so we wouldn't be surprised for this to actually work as long as you play your cards right during the date and the little that you should text.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Lookatu]

Bottom line is any woman that has high enough interest will let let you get away with a lot of things. Whether it's kisses/no kisses, failing sh1t tests, etc.

There is no magic formula or consistency. Although we can go by statistics and guidelines, you will always have exceptions here and there.

I bet if OP kept the no kissing on 1st date rule going, he may find that he get's less and less 2nd dates than he did before. In this case, this could've been the exception.