Instant Attraction and The Truth about Sex

[Juando]

She called.

She called, a couple of back and forths, we're meeting tomorrow.

It's good.

And this is in NYC, not my home turf. dbot you rock.

 

[Bonafide]

The sad thing is, one of you nerds are going to try telling a girl what to do one day and shes just going to :box:


Lol just kidding guys.

 

[Juando]

The sad thing is, one of you nerds are going to try telling a girl what to do one day and shes just going to :box:


Lol just kidding guys.

I know you're kidding but it's a good jumping off point.

The great thing about SS is that it occasionally gives me a new morsel to chew on for a while, but also that it's REAL, life is complex, people are unpredictable and moving forward requires you to be connected to the process in a real, life-based and not theory-based way.

Today I told a girl what to do and got dissed. The night I met her she was laughing at my jokes and somewhat receptive but truth be told lot o' red flags were flying, mainly that her IL was mediocre and she was on the cold side.
But for me at this stage it was good to follow through even with the slim thread of rapport to build on. What can I say- the puzzy scent was strong.

It did not feel good to get rejected but I KNEW IT WAS NOT ME. I had no illusions about the fact of dealing with a lower quality woman- but as I said this process for me is in steep learning curve mode.

Oh, and there was an email waiting for me tonight from the high IL girl, proposing get-togethers.

I so look forward to more experiences of telling women what to do- and not being fazed by "failure"- what's that?

 

[Socialreject]

The sad thing is, one of you nerds are going to try telling a girl what to do one day and shes just going to :box:


Lol just kidding guys.

Yeah, kidding but perfectly valid regardless...

Pretty brutal to behold two ;-)

 

[Deep Dish]

After a few year hiatus from ignoring women, I very recently started trying to fire up my engines. What a difference a few years of non-chalance makes. Nowadays, whenever I even make eye contact with women, it's a big deal (to them). It's like I look and—boom—something's there. When I leave, their eyes and heads follow. It's like they melt into children.

It occurred to me the other day, while unintentionally gaming a chick, that it's not really about conveying lust. I once wrote a post, years ago, to let chicks catch you checking them out—true, but I now realize was only the bottom half of the story. It really is about conferring dominance, implied social value, and the audacity of expectations—all bundled together in one glance and a few words. Other factors are influential but dominance is the structural framework.

Ever watch the Showtime television series Weeds? There's this one guy who's the "brother-in-law," a middle-aged freeloader living in his sister-in-law's house but who's always sexing the ladies. It's hilarious. In one episode, for instance, a hot single mommy chick drops off a kid at the home and the conversation was no more than this: "So you're single, eh?" "Yeah." "Doing anything right now?" "Nope." He turns around and looks at the clock. "We've got one hour."

Kudos.

 

[Deep Dish]

[never mind]

 

[Sandow]

Ever watch the Showtime television series Weeds? There's this one guy who's the "brother-in-law," a middle-aged freeloader living in his sister-in-law's house but who's always sexing the ladies. It's hilarious. In one episode, for instance, a hot single mommy chick drops off a kid at the home and the conversation was no more than this: "So you're single, eh?" "Yeah." "Doing anything right now?" "Nope." He turns around and looks at the clock. "We've got one hour."

Kudos.

It's a movie.

 

[dbot]

It's a movie.

Sandow, it may not be real, but neither is the world as we perceive it. And no, I'm not talking about The Matrix. Society's "rules" of courtship have very little bearing on our private behavior, especially when our instincts are telling us otherwise. If you could have sex with an attractive woman right now, would you? Most men would. What makes you think women wouldn't think similarly? Society? Hah! As long as they don't dress and publicly act slutty, then society (you) isn't the wiser. Society is naive. Society takes social norms literally, thinking they're a solid representation of our true nature. Don't get lumped into that category.

Let's assume for a minute that every woman constantly wants sex. It shouldn't be a difficult assumption considering our species has survived for millions of years and continued to have sex even while the deadliest of diseases were wiping us out as a result. Every woman fancies the idea of intercourse and thinks about it persistently even while she's alone. Suddenly, you appear right in front of her. Now she can actually see you. She can smell your pheromones and the natural scent of your body. She can hear your deep, resonating voice. You're the answer to her desire. She may not publicly announce it, but sex with you is definitely something she'd participate in, should the opportunity present itself. Trust me, if it's what she wants, it's what she'll do.

You don't have to agree with me, but be careful only believing what you can see. Remember, the greatest achievements in life are blind; the ones you aren't sure are possible.

 

[Fender]

dbot, I'm not doubting that a women has sex on her mind all the time, and she would gladly participate in it. The problem I have is believing that she wants to have sex with a PARTICULAR guy (especially if he is deemed "less attractive")

I think it is generally true that women have more choices than men in terms of mating and as a consequence, would be more picky in their choosing. Men on the other hand, are famously less picky about their choice in bed partners.

How attractive we seem to a girl is (largely) determined by our beliefs, but our beliefs are mostly built upon how attracted girls have been to us in the past. So....now what? Do we lie to ourselves in the beginning and believe that we are the sh*t until it actually happens? Or do we learn skills and lines to make us seem more attractive, and internalise the beliefs afterwards.

I absolutely love your original post, but I just have my doubts on how one would actually reach this place of self-assured "Nirvana" where we believe all chicks want to f*ck us there and then.

 

[dbot]

dbot, I'm not doubting that a women has sex on her mind all the time, and she would gladly participate in it. The problem I have is believing that she wants to have sex with a PARTICULAR guy (especially if he is deemed "less attractive")

I think it is generally true that women have more choices than men in terms of mating and as a consequence, would be more picky in their choosing. Men on the other hand, are famously less picky about their choice in bed partners.

How attractive we seem to a girl is (largely) determined by our beliefs, but our beliefs are mostly built upon how attracted girls have been to us in the past. So....now what? Do we lie to ourselves in the beginning and believe that we are the sh*t until it actually happens? Or do we learn skills and lines to make us seem more attractive, and internalise the beliefs afterwards.

I absolutely love your original post, but I just have my doubts on how one would actually reach this place of self-assured "Nirvana" where we believe all chicks want to f*ck us there and then.

This is where it gets interesting

First of all, the idea that men are less picky about their sexual partners than women is another one of those naive assumptions based on society's projection of female behavior.

The only thing that matters when it comes to physical attraction, is fuckability. It's completely binary. You're either attractive enough for her to have sex with you, or you aren't. How hot you are has nothing to do with it. You may not be Freddie Prinze Jr., but unless he's standing right next to you, it doesn't matter. If you're fuckable, you're fuckable.

Here's a fact that most guys on this forum refuse to accept: if you're just an average dude, not obese or ugly but not particularly hot either, you're probably considered fuckable by 99% of women. This is not an exaggeration. Most men would consider average looking women fuckable. Sure, they might not brag about it to their buddies, but it doesn't mean they wouldn't mind doing it. The standards are no different for females. Now I'm not saying that 99% of all women would be attracted to you or would want to actually date you. I'm simply saying 99% of all women would consider you to be "good enough" based on looks alone.

Also, the idea that women are more selective due to their available choices in men is completely false. Unless you're on a dating show, the woman's only immediate choice is the guy she's talking to (you). As long as she thinks you're "good enough," the only thing stopping you is your ability to pick her up.

I'm not very tall (I'm 5'10"). I'm pretty skinny (though I recently put on a little muscle), and I have a larger than normal head. I do think I'm attractive, but I couldn't possibly consider myself anywhere near having a model's body type. I live in Newport Beach, California. The women I talk to out here are some of the most beautiful women you can find anywhere in the country, and I do very, very well with them, despite the fact that a lot of the men here are much better looking than I am. My point? Unless you're flat out gross, nobody here has room to blame their looks on their inability to close a chick. Ever.

Fender, your third paragraph is dead on, but you don't have to lie to yourself. You just have to understand that no matter how a woman reacts, it's because you implicitly told her to. Keep that in mind

 

[Juando]

A couple weeks ago I kissed closed 3 chicks in one night within 5 minutes of meeting them. For whatever reason, my confidence and frame were at the peak. I simply interacted for a couple minutes from an iron frame of positive masculine dominance and looked her in the eye and said "give me a kiss."

They would hesitate for a moment to see if my frame would show cracks but I held without a facial twitch of doubt and they would kiss me and then try and follow me around afterwards.

I learned more that night then I have the rest of my life. FK the routines and openers and tricks, and just be a real man with a brutal frame of power.

I've been nailing this couger the past couple months. She is a powerful corporate officer and she's commented about how it is a massive turn on that I am in charge. Last night she told me she was "crazy" over me. She makes $410,000 a year, her last two BF's were a professional body builder and an ex pro athelete and she dumped them both because they were "weak" around her. She says she never can find a male who is strong enough to handle a woman like her.

My point is I used to get rejected by fatties 7 years ago, and now I have a top quality hottie "crazy" over me. Honestly, nothing has changed in my life except my beliefs.

Power. I've still got a lot of work to do, but I'm going down the right path.

Kudos! This is very timely for me and probably many guys here, making that supposedly small "shift" in our attitude, standing up for ourselves, clearly communicating what we want.

I know it may be specific to your relationship with the cougar, but how about some general examples of how you relate to her that's different than you would have in the past?

 

[Fender]

This is where it gets interesting

First of all, the idea that men are less picky about their sexual partners than women is another one of those naive assumptions based on society's projection of female behavior.

The only thing that matters when it comes to physical attraction, is fuckability. It's completely binary. You're either attractive enough for her to have sex with you, or you aren't. How hot you are has nothing to do with it. You may not be Freddie Prinze Jr., but unless he's standing right next to you, it doesn't matter. If you're fuckable, you're fuckable.

Here's a fact that most guys on this forum refuse to accept: if you're just an average dude, not obese or ugly but not particularly hot either, you're probably considered fuckable by 99% of women. This is not an exaggeration. Most men would consider average looking women fuckable. Sure, they might not brag about it to their buddies, but it doesn't mean they wouldn't mind doing it. The standards are no different for females. Now I'm not saying that 99% of all women would be attracted to you or would want to actually date you. I'm simply saying 99% of all women would consider you to be "good enough" based on looks alone.

Also, the idea that women are more selective due to their available choices in men is completely false. Unless you're on a dating show, the woman's only immediate choice is the guy she's talking to (you). As long as she thinks you're "good enough," the only thing stopping you is your ability to pick her up.

I'm not very tall (I'm 5'10"). I'm pretty skinny (though I recently put on a little muscle), and I have a larger than normal head. I do think I'm attractive, but I couldn't possibly consider myself anywhere near having a model's body type. I live in Newport Beach, California. The women I talk to out here are some of the most beautiful women you can find anywhere in the country, and I do very, very well with them, despite the fact that a lot of the men here are much better looking than I am. My point? Unless you're flat out gross, nobody here has room to blame their looks on their inability to close a chick. Ever.

Fender, your third paragraph is dead on, but you don't have to lie to yourself. You just have to understand that no matter how a woman reacts, it's because you implicitly told her to. Keep that in mind

Brilliant. Exactly what I needed to really connect the dots. Imma go away and digest this for a while.

Cheers dbot.

 

[dbot]

I've been nailing this couger the past couple months. She is a powerful corporate officer and she's commented about how it is a massive turn on that I am in charge. Last night she told me she was "crazy" over me. She makes $410,000 a year, her last two BF's were a professional body builder and an ex pro athelete and she dumped them both because they were "weak" around her. She says she never can find a male who is strong enough to handle a woman like her.

Body builders and pro athletes can still be pussies

 

[Ectomorph]

so if im talking to a girl, then i ask her to come someplace with me and ive known her for a while and i ask her out and i expect her to say "yes" will it just happen bcuz of my implicity?

 

[Drewskie]

Sounds convincing, but you didn't really say how to obtain said power and control. Is there a definitive way??

Still curious. And bump for the noobs.

 

[dbot]

Sounds convincing, but you didn't really say how to obtain said power and control. Is there a definitive way??

Power and control is the product of your projections, and vice versa. If compliance is expected, then compliance will be received. This not only creates the perception of power and control, but it directly yields power/control over the people you influence.

 

[Stud]

dbot i would like to learn more about this type of mindset.

what books/blogs/etc can you recommend that helped you gain this understanding not only of women, but of human interactions in general?

 

[The Karate Kid]

I agree with stud, I would like to know more about this mindset, and how to project it.

This sh*t definitely seems like if you dont have it spot on, you will bomb, and its a very fine line.

 

[jonusb]

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[Slickster]

Good Post

I would like to read some examples of conversations showing exactly how you go from simple fluff to sexual talk using this mindset.

It's easy enough to ask whats your name? Or where do you live? However how do you turn that into insta-sex?

Are you simply saying "I want to put my hand up your shirt". Or what about "I'm going to take you over here and fvck you."

It would be nice to see some more detail examples.