Instances When Women Approach Me

[todays_news]

When I'm in a situation where I'm talking one and one with girls, I run a good set. Getting girls in that respect is not a problem for me, and never really has been. Its obviously improved since this coming across this site, books and the gym.

But there is one flaw, and its totally related to me.

I know everybody says that looks dont matter, and they dont. But without blowing my own trumpet, and I'm a good looking, and well dressed kind of guy. And so are a lot of my friends, its not uncommon for girls to literally gawp at us. (Excuse my arrogance, I'm not a total **** I promise).

But when approaching women, I'm calculated in what I say and have now set up loose routines in succeeding with number closes, and i've F closed a number of times at university aswell.

However, when women approach me and try it on with me. I seem to lose interest almost straight away. Its like I lack spontaniety in that moment combined with an unusual feeling of self-consciousness. I know its not the girl, so it must be with me. I seem to freeze up and get bored with just about anything they're saying. When girls grind up on me, (without me knowing them, or speaking to them) I seem to get the same thing. It feels like everyone's staring ya know?

Its almost as if, I respond well to the pressure of approaching and gaming girls, but the moment its in my lap I lose it.

Its a crazy problem to have. Has anyone got/had the same problem, can anyone advise me on where to go from here? Its not cool!

And once again, I will apologise if I'm coming across arrogant or big headed.

Thanks SS.....

 

[Neon Owl]

I wish I had your problems dude. Wanna trade? lol

 

[initiatorhater06]

really? there are women who approach men?

 

[Trader]

really? there are women who approach men?

Yes and they are ugly OR extremely masculine/aggressive

 

[initiatorhater06]

well I don't mind aggressive women as long as they are very hot and cute.

 

[todays_news]

There's power in being pursued, though...remember that!

Espi thats good advice man, I shall keep that in mind rep+.

its a ridicuous mindset, its like i can approach women and be fine. when they approach me, or make the first moves its like i'm nervous or something.


Trader It seems the fatties, and the ugliest of sluts approach everyone, nothing unusual here sadly enough...



initiatorhater06

A few will grab me at the bar, or just pop out of nowhere and start talking to me. But what mostly happens is that, when I'm saying hello to somebody they know they jump in and start making moves, in front of the person I was saying hello to. Who then looks at me and grins and winks etc, which can be unnerving as I get the feeling everybody is watching. If I approach them, I couldnt give a **** if people were watching or not. Why I do that, is what I need to work out.

Maybe i'm a brown bandit?

 

[Night Owl]

Don't really know why, but I have been approached all the time from girls/women from my early teens. I get hit on a couple of times a day. I have never asked a women out or even tried to get a number. Why bother when they chase you.

And to be honest, if they are that interest in you and they are hot why refuse? The ones that chase you and express an interest in you make far better lovers than the one that you have to spend time and money chasing.

Remember - its not who I am interested in, but who is interested in me - keep your eyes out.

 

[5string]

You are just a guy who likes the thrill of the hunt, not just the kill itself.

 

[Sandow]

You're probably just thinking too much. Pretty common if you're a newbie. Eventually, after a ton of practice and experience, it just becomes natural, like part of your subconscious.

 

[zekko]

The ones that chase you and express an interest in you make far better lovers than the one that you have to spend time and money chasing.

I do believe there is some definite truth to that. If they think enough of you to pursue you they're already invested. When you chase them it sets up a whole different frame - it makes them the prize. On the other hand, there's also something to be said for seeing what you want and going for it. So, as usual, there are two sides to the story.

But I agree you're liable to do better with the ones that chase you. You just have to qualify them well, but that also makes them work for you, and then they're even more invested.

 

[Oxide]

You are just a guy who likes the thrill of the hunt, not just the kill itself.

yes!! I am the same way, but that is freaking me out, how am I supposed to maintain a relationship with a woman if I get bored when I get her?!


OP, I am in the same boat, as in girls approach my friends and I time to time, and thanks to us hitting the weights these girls are actually attractive most of the time. I do see what they have to offer - if it is the desperate drunk I don't go for it, but there could be girls who just feel so strongly that you are their type that they are mesmerized - i know ive had it happen with some girls, BOOM wow she is my type! (and its not just hot)


In either case not a bad problem to have.

 

[Aazman]

I get what you mean, I have the same issue.

I get it mainly from having high standards. It makes approaching hot women easy. Though i'm not trying to be an idiot- but i am known to be good looking. Hence my social circle reflects that.

I had the same issue where i pulled a chick, but i did not like her. It can get so annoying that, even though we shared the same bed- i just did not do anything. (i don't think she's hot + and i'm too selfish to give my bed away)

I think its okay- to be honest any girl who you manage to pull is more fun in my eyes than a girl coming to you. My ex's before djing where that. Hence why i've stopped going for these types of chicks.

In my eyes; They seem no challenge and i feel no reward from dating them.

Todays_news- sounds like your in the Uk too- but thats a hunch. PM me, think we can discuss ideas.

peace

 

[5string]

yes!! I am the same way, but that is freaking me out, how am I supposed to maintain a relationship with a woman if I get bored when I get her?!

That's easy. Just go gitcha a new one.

 

[Razor Sharp]

I wouldn't look at this as an "issue" per se. These are just your instincts talking, for centuries we have been pursuers of prey, wealth and fortune - we are genetically programmed to thrive off the hunt. An aggressive women who tries to make all the first moves has a tendency to kill that dynamic, precisely because this is masculine behavior!

If you happen to be a passive male, then this may actually be a turn on to you. But any man who is rough around the edges and loaded with testosterone, will naturally gravitate towards submissive females.

Aside from that, women are physically designed to provide resistance. With a gestation period of 9 months and a lifetime of child-care - a LOT more is at stake for them when it comes to sex. The implications are clearly not as dire for a guy who can zip-up and disappear once the deed is done.

The psychological consequences of women who play role reversal are never lost on our subconscious, and this is why you are questioning yourself right now. All of a sudden your spidey sense is tingling and you aren't sure why. It's like you were out hunting and a deer came out of the woods, threw itself on your pickup truck, and tied itself up for you to take home. The scene disarms you because it flies in the face of what your instincts expect..

In short there is nothing wrong with you. You are 100% justified in thinking to yourself "What's the catch?" because that's what it really comes down to.

We have a tendency to appreciate the things we have to work for, and scorn what is given. We all don't just want to be the prize - we want to WIN the prize, and how can anything be won when it's distributed as freely as government cheese? It's hard not to wonder "just how many dudes is this bird hollering at?"

Without the chase there is no catch, no mystery or anything to strive towards. It's about as fun as playing a game of poker with everyone's cards face up.

 

[(JJ)]

I'm totally with night owl.

So much so, in fact, that whenever there's a girl im interested in who ISN'T pursuing me, I work the situation around so she THINKS she's the one chasing. That's the key to my game, and presumably why it works so well. EVERYONE is more interested in stuff they work hard for... that includes mates.

the key here is to try to bust on her and make her feel like she's got a LOT of work to do to be worthy of you. that mindset alone will make you act the right way. as in... "oh buying me a drink eh? wanna get me f*cked up and have your way with me?! ive seen this too many times... blah blah blah"

easy.

 

[initiatorhater06]

It's hard to be an Alpha Male, very hard to become one or even stay one, but I know it can be done, in order for a Woman to be an Alpha Female, she just has to look good and be hot, cute.

 

[Oxide]

It's hard to be an Alpha Male, very hard to become one or even stay one, but I know it can be done, in order for a Woman to be an Alpha Female, she just has to look good and be hot, cute.

Guess again.

 

[Falcon25]

These might be signs that you have homosexual tendencies. I have no idea what you are talking about. When a woman approaches me, or I find them attractive, all I want to do is lick her ***** and fuvk her brains out. It's an initial primal instinct that has cost me a lot girls because they feel threatened by my sexuality. I can't get rid of this feeling, I'm a fuvk machine. So I find it unusually homosexual that you become "uninterested" when a woman throws themselves at you.

 

[Megaman XIV]

It's hard to be an Alpha Male, very hard to become one or even stay one, but I know it can be done,

Of course, with something called status, muscles, and money. Those naturally give you confidence because you have something to be confident in. You won't even have to toot your own horn.

in order for a Woman to be an Alpha Female, she just has to look good and be hot, cute.

That's obvious. But now fat and ugly women have more options than comparable men.

Read between the lines bro.