Most women are insecure and deep down have a low opinion of themselves....so when you show you're really really into them like this, they actually lose respect for you as in reality they want to look up to you and for you to elevate their status, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, socially, etc. Due to her perception of herself, you automatically lower your status.
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Very well stated, gro0ver.
OP, make sure you maintain absolute NC. You have already displayed neediness and devalued yourself in her eyes, but take heart... We all must go through this as we learn. I didn't learn this till very late in life.
If you happen to see her somewhere, be cordial and pretend that she means absolutely nothing to you. Not in a nasty, vindictive way, but rather in a calm, unaffected way. Demonstrate that YOU are in control. "Assume a virtue if you have it not". A women can only be attracted to a man who she values higher than herself and who can do just fine without her. It's too late for this one, but this is a golden opportunity for you to grow massively.
You're not inherently weak or stupid. You're learning about reality. Again, it's a rite of passage that we all must experience in order to understand. It is brutal, but you'll get over it surprisingly quickly.
You mentioned 60 days... the ONLY way it could ever work out in the future is if she ends up begging you to come back. Anything else is doomed to fail because the relationship can never be the same after a female-initiated dumping. And the ONLY way to facilitate said begging is by showing her the hand. Either she will leave completely (most likely in this scenario) or she will beg to have you back.
Either way you win. If she goes away forever, it never in a million years would have worked out anyway. If she ends up begging (again, not likely in your case), you have another shot at it. The chances would be against you, though, because you would be very likely to fall back into AFC mode once you got comfortable.
Start valuing yourself higher than her immediately. Like the guys said, hit the gym and do things that are good for you and will enhance your personal growth. Whatever you do, don't initiate contact. If she contacts you, don't even respond. NC only works if you work it 100%. Above all don't let her know you feel hurt. She needs to see that you have a life apart from her.
Understand that right now she is doing everything in her power to get over you and to rationalize you away with her friends. They are supporting her, bolstering her up, feeding her ego, and thay are all engaged in mad rationalization in order for her to move on. She might well be prone to be finding another man to take your place as part of that rationalization. I'm not one to jump on the "She's probably sucking a ...." bandwagon, but a women will do whatever she can to move on, and they tend to have a lot of support in doing so. We men have a much tougher time because we're essentially loners and we must deal with these things internally.
Guys, let this be a lesson: NEVER allow yourself to be dumped. When a man suspects that a girl is thinking of bailing, she absolutely is thinking that. The only thing that can save things is a pre-emptive strike. She must be shocked, rocked to the core, by the male flipping the script on her. This is the only thing that will shock her out of her imagined superiority and will elevate you far above her in her own eyes. And I repeat that a women can only be attracted to a male who is perceived as at least equal to but more often above her in value.
When you sense that something is about to go down, be assured that it is about to go down.
Good Lord, once again I'm all over the place here, but OP, this is a golden opportunity for you as painful as it is. I have found in life that it takes about 1/2 of the actual relationship duration in order for a man to completely get over a love relationship. That means since you were with her for a year, your bad feelings will diminish steadily over a 6 month period, after which you'll chuckle to yourself knowing how big it seemed at the time and knowing how much you've grown by weathering the storm.
You can even reduce that 6 months to 3 by working out and forcing yourself to socialize. You're going to get over this a lot faster than you think.
spin plates.
