Hey all,
Been reading this forum for a while now and thought it would be a good time to get some advice on my current situation. I'm 27, got a couple of relationships under my belt and after a break from the dating scene I'm now starting to look seriously again. I'm more interested in a relationship with some actual romantic attachment, rather than just sleeping with girls and moving on.
I've recently started hanging out with a girl I know from my local running club (although the club has recently disbanded). She's a good looking girl, nice personailty, and an appealing prospect for a partner. She's 22.
She made the initial contact about 2 weeks ago, by emailing and asking if I wanted to go to the gym with her. I accepted, and we seemed to get on well, so a few days later I asked her out to the cinema and for a meal.
This time it felt more like a date. She'd put some effort into looking her best and I got the impression she could be interested. We had a good time, but there was no talk of moving things further. Then a few days later she asked me out again for a meal and a walk round an old, scenic rural village. Great - the ideal place to make a move, I thought to myself. With a bit of luck I could shift things up to the next level.
So we had a meal and then went on an evening stroll around the countryside, and as we walked and talked, I tried to drop a few subtle hints that I was interested in her. Now, maybe they were too subtle because she didn't pick up on a single one of them throughout the evening, which confused me slightly. I didn't want the evening to have been wasted, so I decided to make a more obvious move and put the contract on the table. I hit her with the most romantic line I could think of at the time:
"You know, I've got a confession to make. For the last 30 minutes, I've been desperate to hold your hand"
I half expected her to thrust her hand into mine, and the deal to be signed, sealed and delivered. But the reaction I got was very different. She suddenly went really shy, seemed pretty embarrased, and was kind of lost for words. The few things she did say were:
"What do I say to that?", "I don't know", "I've never done this kind of thing before"...
That kind of shocked me. I only asked to hold hands - it was hardly a marriage proposal. She's 22, has pretty strong social abilities and has a large network of friends. She goes out all the time! How can she be so inexperienced?
The conversation was killed instantly, and I felt quite awkward. But I needed to know where I stood, so I asked how she felt about me. She replied "I don't know. Let's just see what happens".
Later on, when we'd driven back home, she seemed to perk up a bit. I asked if she wanted to do something in a few days and she suggested another walk in the country. I think, even though she had come over as really shy, she was pleased that I'd made the approach and shown some interest in her.
So where do I go from here? Firstly, is it worth persuing this girl, or is this a no-hoper? Should I turn my attention to someone more experienced and less anxious about the prospect of a relationship?
Or should I keep pursuing to see what happens? I'm seeing her again in a few days. How can I try to take this further? If she won't even hold my hand, what chance do I have of moving this up to the next level? She's a great girl and I'm interested, but am I wasting my time?
Your thoughts please...
Ebeneezer
Been reading this forum for a while now and thought it would be a good time to get some advice on my current situation. I'm 27, got a couple of relationships under my belt and after a break from the dating scene I'm now starting to look seriously again. I'm more interested in a relationship with some actual romantic attachment, rather than just sleeping with girls and moving on.
I've recently started hanging out with a girl I know from my local running club (although the club has recently disbanded). She's a good looking girl, nice personailty, and an appealing prospect for a partner. She's 22.
She made the initial contact about 2 weeks ago, by emailing and asking if I wanted to go to the gym with her. I accepted, and we seemed to get on well, so a few days later I asked her out to the cinema and for a meal.
This time it felt more like a date. She'd put some effort into looking her best and I got the impression she could be interested. We had a good time, but there was no talk of moving things further. Then a few days later she asked me out again for a meal and a walk round an old, scenic rural village. Great - the ideal place to make a move, I thought to myself. With a bit of luck I could shift things up to the next level.
So we had a meal and then went on an evening stroll around the countryside, and as we walked and talked, I tried to drop a few subtle hints that I was interested in her. Now, maybe they were too subtle because she didn't pick up on a single one of them throughout the evening, which confused me slightly. I didn't want the evening to have been wasted, so I decided to make a more obvious move and put the contract on the table. I hit her with the most romantic line I could think of at the time:
"You know, I've got a confession to make. For the last 30 minutes, I've been desperate to hold your hand"
I half expected her to thrust her hand into mine, and the deal to be signed, sealed and delivered. But the reaction I got was very different. She suddenly went really shy, seemed pretty embarrased, and was kind of lost for words. The few things she did say were:
"What do I say to that?", "I don't know", "I've never done this kind of thing before"...
That kind of shocked me. I only asked to hold hands - it was hardly a marriage proposal. She's 22, has pretty strong social abilities and has a large network of friends. She goes out all the time! How can she be so inexperienced?
The conversation was killed instantly, and I felt quite awkward. But I needed to know where I stood, so I asked how she felt about me. She replied "I don't know. Let's just see what happens".
Later on, when we'd driven back home, she seemed to perk up a bit. I asked if she wanted to do something in a few days and she suggested another walk in the country. I think, even though she had come over as really shy, she was pleased that I'd made the approach and shown some interest in her.
So where do I go from here? Firstly, is it worth persuing this girl, or is this a no-hoper? Should I turn my attention to someone more experienced and less anxious about the prospect of a relationship?
Or should I keep pursuing to see what happens? I'm seeing her again in a few days. How can I try to take this further? If she won't even hold my hand, what chance do I have of moving this up to the next level? She's a great girl and I'm interested, but am I wasting my time?
Your thoughts please...
Ebeneezer
