Indulge my over-analysis for a moment...

[jobluek]

I'm clearly looking way too into this, but feel free to let me know if it has any merit. Also feel free to critique my approach.

There's a girl I see ocassionally at the gym, and we talk while we work out. She's always very personable and we seem to get along; I usually just bust on her for whatever her weekend stories are, and she laughs. I get a lot of IOIs from her and she seems cool...and very single.

Hadn't seen her in about 3 weeks, so manned up and decided to ask her out. She came over to talk to me but I was on the treadmill and too tired to talk, so she left and changed. On her way out I called her over and said we should have lunch later this week and asked for her last name. I said I'd email her later when I had time. She made a point to mention how her name was doubled up in the directory, so if she doesn't reply to an email, try the other listing, which I took as an IOI. (We work at the same company, so I can find her email through the company directory. We're in totally separate divisions and never have to work together, so there are no issues there, in fact I've never seen her except for at the gym.)

I emailed her Wednesday afternoon and suggested we meet up on Thursday, and she replied that she had to work through lunch because she was leaving early, and was taking Friday off. I replied, just saying, nice, what's the long weekend for? She did not reply.

I'm kind of weird with email because I am literally on it -all- day long. My position involves a lot of communication with different divisions throughout the day, and it's weird to me when people take a full day to respond. It seems like a company-wide thing, and although she has a totally different job in a different area, responded to my initial email in like 20 minutes. I thought I was being sly by taking 2 hours to respond. I know, hilarious. But, that's why I am looking too much into the fact that she did not reply after that.

Is this girl a potential flake? I totally understand how email is a bad communication medium now, but it made sense at the time because the company uses it like crack.

Feel free to bash my over-analysis as much as possible, but I'd appreciate some constructive feedback.

 

[PlayToWin]

From my experience, girls are always flakes, and I mean all of them, some more often then others. Some are flakes to everybody, all the time just to keep people chasing them, others are just flakes occasionally when they like to keep there options open.

The only exception is some of the less flakey ones will really really like a guy and they will not flake on him for at least a few dates, then even they get bored and begin to get a little flakey.

This is from my experience, as well as some of my friends. To sum it up basically all girls are flakey, some more than others, and it also largely depends on her interest level in you. The higher the interest, obviously less flaking, but even then some are still a little cryptic or flakey. You are over-analyzing this, but chances are she got your e-mail and she didn't respond for whatever reason. It could be she didn't want to tell you what she is doing tommorrow, maybe she just wanted to leave you hanging to play games with you and see if you keep trying to e-mail her or get a response. Maybe she doesn't want to post what she is doing on company monitored e-mail. Maybe she is going on a date with another guy, maybe she is going to the doctor for something personal.

Basically my point is there are about 1,000 possible reasons she didn't respond. 500 of which maybe are legitimate and she still likes you, the other 500 showing she isn't interested in you. But basically you can't really tell, so do yourself a favor and forget about it and don't bring up what she did this weekend next time you see her, just try to schedule something else.

I find that the key to looking busy and not needy, is to actually be busy and not needy. If you truely keep youself extremely active with hobbies, activities, hanging out and going out with friends, and spinning plates with different girls, then you get to a point where you actually truly forget to call girls or people up for days at a time, and then since you truly are busy and not needy, it takes no effort and thats when you will find more success.

 

[jobluek]

Thanks man, that was a great post and makes a lot of sense. Pretty much what I was thinking. She seems like a nice girl, almost like the kind that wouldn't play games, but that is probably an inaccurate characterization.

You have any recommendation on my next play? Obviously, I didn't send her any other emails or have any contact when she did not return the second email. If I don't see her at the gym, should I send her another email mid next week? I typically don't like to send a second if she didn't respond to one, but otherwise I'm playing the waiting game, where my experiences tell me not to do.

 

[Reyaj]

Thanks man, that was a great post and makes a lot of sense. Pretty much what I was thinking. She seems like a nice girl, almost like the kind that wouldn't play games, but that is probably an inaccurate characterization.

You have any recommendation on my next play? Obviously, I didn't send her any other emails or have any contact when she did not return the second email. If I don't see her at the gym, should I send her another email mid next week? I typically don't like to send a second if she didn't respond to one, but otherwise I'm playing the waiting game, where my experiences tell me not to do.

Call her and ask her out. On her work phone of course

 

[Nighthawk]

Shit test to see if you're needy and will chase her. Don't obviously. Make yourself busy with some other women and she'll wonder what she's missing.

 

[DoTheDew]

Shit test to see if you're needy and will chase her. Don't obviously. Make yourself busy with some other women and she'll wonder what she's missing.

Couldn't have said it any better.

 

[jobluek]

Ok, so you're recommending I not email or call her...and just wait to see her at the gym sometime, even if it's like 3 weeks like before? That is a long "game" to play.

 

[DJVladdy]

Jayer, I'm sure he appreciates the advice, but you got some jerking off to do, you've been slacking off and not doing it 10x per day like u supposed to

 

[jobluek]

Hey guys,

Just to follow up on this post from two years ago, after I emailed her asking if she wanted to have lunch, I never heard from her again. In fact, I made quite an impression as she never, ever went to the company gym again. I find it a bit interesting that I made her uncomfortable enough to avoid the gym completely forever, but such is life.

Anyway, I don't work at that company anymore so it's all water under the bridge anyway. An old coworker told me that she doesn't, either. I just wanted to follow up because I think it's useful to see how situations end up resulting.