Indirect approaches vs Direct approaches

[odecit_1]

I am alittle disillusioned about my approaches, I feel I can approach girls, and talk to them , and yes I can number close if i motivate myself enough prior to the encounter, but my low success rate has reduced my motivation. What i tend to do allot of the time is just do an indirect approach ( eg ask for directions) but the topics of the conversation most of the time stays on this indirect topic because I am afraid to ask her something personal. What I though is, that to solve this problem I could use direct approches where it would seem obivous to her that I am intrested in her from the start (eg. hey you seem intresting, can i tlak to you).. this is ofcourse more risky and such a behaviour would require more motivation. I am also afraid to use such direct approaches at my university campus because if the encounter results in an unpleasant situation then I would run a high probablity of seeing the girl again either at campus or on a lecture.
Now what I've found is that at clubs i do not run into a problem of 'indirect approaches' because if you start talking to a girl there, its obious to her what you want. That's why people get rejected at clubs so much.

Any comments are appreciated

 

[Spirit Fingers]

For daytime, it is essential that you do direct approaches. Why? Asking for directions demonstrates bad things about you. It shows that you wanted to talk to her, but were too scared to approach her directly, so you needed an excuse. A direct approach sets you apart. Almost every guy out there is too scared to approach direct in the daytime, so if you do it confidently, you'll be ahead from the start.

As for nighttime, you have it right. In this case only your vibe has to be direct, not necessarily your opener.

-Dan

 

[HuuBinh]

The power of direct is not the opener. Your belief, tonality, sincerity, honesty, & bodylanguage are more important. Usually you do not get rejected if you do it right because you create instantenous attraction inside of her in your delivery of the opener and the projection of your body language.

 

[h2o]

What i tend to do allot of the time is just do an indirect approach ( eg ask for directions)

this is your first problem. asking for directions? when you already live there? women are not stupid, they can tell if you have a hidden agenda. i think you should try being more sincere and open indirectly with regards to situational comments.

if you're asking for directions, and pretending like you're lost in your own town or whatever, your whole frame is wrong. this is because you have to make them stop for you. to act like you're lost is like you're being submissive and asking her for directions, which is exactly what you're doing. you shouldn't be asking a woman for directions, rather, you should be the one leading her. i think in this case, if you simply tell her to "stop," she will stop.

i would like to add that i personally have not had any success with moving targets. i have stopped them by simply making eye contact and moving towards them...a few times by snapping my fingers, but personally have not had success this way.

and in that case i would say try stationary targets, because they are a lot easier...and i can personally say i have had success with these...and so have a lot of other guys.

next:

I am also afraid to use such direct approaches at my university campus because if the encounter results in an unpleasant situation then I would run a high probablity of seeing the girl again either at campus or on a lecture.

well, if you're running into these girls in lecture anyways, why cold approach them? personally, i go to a huge school...we have approx. 30,000 students/faculty, etc, so i do cold approaches because chances of running into her in lecture are slim...you might want to re-evaluate doing approaches at all...get to know girls everywhere, you don't have to do cold approaches

well, also, you've admitted that you're afraid of showing any signs of interest. i think this is big and you need to confront this. don't be afraid of showing interest, it's really not a big deal. i'd recommend reading these posts...

Sexuality Projection: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56701

Don't think every girl HAS to like you: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=24645

i'd also recommend Gunwitch Method.

don't take everything or anything verbatim...you gotta go out and try it to see what works for you, and eventually you'll develop your own style.

-gl

 

[Smooth Player 056]

since your afraid of being too personal with her, a way to get out of that fear is to go up to random women and say "hi my names ____ do u want to have sex?" once u get comfortable geting rejected doing that you will have no problem being "too personal"

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

since your afraid of being too personal with her, a way to get out of that fear is to go up to random women and say "hi my names ____ do u want to have sex?"

LOL, have you actually used that line, mate?

It'd be hilarious to do that going round town with a mate.

BTW, don't use it on your university campus!!

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by odecit_1
I am also afraid to use such direct approaches at my university campus because if the encounter results in an unpleasant situation then I would run a high probablity of seeing the girl again either at campus or on a lecture.

You can use this as a big advantage. If you see girls regularly, use your first encounter (asking directions or whatever you choose) to break the ice, then go about your day. Next time you see her, give her a knowing smile and say "hi" to her. Keep the "hi's" in passing until it's convenient to talk (don't just stop her in her on her way somewhere as it puts pressure on you to be quick and she's probably not going to be very responsive or open to conversation).

When you talk, ask her about classes (a common topic) which you can lead to a conversation about why she took those classes, what she plans to do when she's finished uni etc. Forget the one liners and c+f and just get some rapport going so she feels comfortable talking to you.

During these conversations you have a chance to judge her body language and how she's responding. If it's positive say something like "I'm just about to get something to eat/coffee, you're welcome to join me".

I use this kind of approach with most people at uni and it has opened up a lot of new social groups, friends and I've met girlfriends this way. I think some people call this a "warm approach" as you are approaching someone familiar to you rather than a random stranger. Personally I just consider it socialising and I'll do the same with men and women I'm not attracted to.

The further advantage is that you get to know and screen each other. And if she's not interested or has a boyfriend, she might make a good friend and introduce you to more people.