Inconsistency in Approaching

[tihash]

Just got out of a 2.5 year relationship, and am rusty.

I like daytime because bars/clubs aren't my thing all that much, PLUS I don't have many friends who are single and will go to bars/clubs with me. Anyhow, my ultimate goal (with proper screening) is an LTR.

I have made 7 approaches in the last 10 days since the breakup, but have been inconsistent in being able to approach and inconsistent in closing. In fact, I let the conversation die and fail to close.

I am keeping an approach journal over in the general board, but by way of example:

In a bookstore: See a cute girl with an Ohio State shirt at the "ABC for Dummies" table...

Me: You don't look like a dummy! (smiling)
Her: Huh? Oh! (laughs and smiles)
Me: Any girl who goes to Ohio State can't be dumb. Do you go there now?
Her: No, I used to.
Me: You graduated?
Her: No, but I am going to school here now.
Me: Are you from here or from there?
Her: From there.
Blah blah blah for about 20 seconds... felt like I was interviewing her. Then it died. AND I FAILED TO CLOSE, and FAILED TO PLOW THROUGH.

Feeling sh1tty for not closing, I am about to leave and see a young (mid-20's) HB come in wearing a suit. SHe buys a water then goes to the audio books. I walk up.

ME: Got any recommendations?
Her: (loud and confident) Oh, no. I'm just going on a long trip next week.
Me: Where to?
Her: Tallahassee.
Me: Oh. DId you go to school there?
Her: No. My family is from there.
Me: That's nice... that's not too far away.
Her: About 4 hours.
Me: Yeah, but it's not like a cross country trip.

THEN I LET IT DIE.

I was thinking what I must do is have a standard line: "Hey, I have to run, but it was nice talking to you. Would you like to get together for coffee sometime?" Then go for the number.

Or should I be trying to chat more instead?

I find it much easier to number close in a bar... it is sorta expected.

ALSO, I can go approach 2 or 3 or 4 girls one day at, for example, bookstores, and then chicken out the next 5 chances I get.

How can I be consistent???

Plus, I don't have the nutz to approach girls in cafes, whether at a bookstore or at starbucks. And these places are goldmines. I am, for one, aftraid others will hear and see and watch me do it (I know I shouldn't care), and for another reason, don't know if I should just sit at their table, or walk up and remain standing, or what. And situational openers are more hard. Should I just be direct: "Hey, you're cute. I wanted to meet you. What's your name?"

Advice on all of the above?

 

[frivolousz21]

well on the first one.

In a bookstore: See a cute girl with an Ohio State shirt at the "ABC for Dummies" table...

when I just got back into it like you are...I would of probably said what you said .

Ive realized women love jerks..really.

I would of said...."looks like you found the right table".

then I would of smiled half ****ed and been like what? when she responded then took over from there talking about anything.

at that point she knows I got stones...and thats all that matters.

now there is a chance she would think I am a jerk and not talk to me..but who cares..busting there arse works a thousands times better.



as far the 2nd one..I would of asked what she is reading or listening to..


after she talks..

I would of said oh reading books is to hard for you in a sarcastic funny way.

and bam I just showed her I have balls or she thinks I am a jerk.



last night a 45 year old hot milf...asked my friend if I was always a jerk...he was like yea yea..she said its annoying, but it does turn me on.


im telling ya...you gotta stand out.maybe you will get rejected some...I Just know that method is the deal.

 

[Phyzzle]

don't know if I should just sit at their table, or walk up and remain standing, or what.

Reminds me of this old video. Impressive stuff.

What the Pick-up guys say is true: you do relieve a lot of subconscious tension by opening people in passing, and not just pulling up a chair and sitting down to have a conversation before saying a word.

 

[armstrong]

Man this is exactly where I am right now. I got out of a LTR and am struggling to figure this thing out. I'm in lots of situations where I could approach, but something usually stops me, whether it's other people around or wondering if she's married or whatever, or the risk of sounding stupid.

 

[armstrong]

Reminds me of this old video. Impressive stuff.

What the Pick-up guys say is true: you do relieve a lot of subconscious tension by opening people in passing, and not just pulling up a chair and sitting down to have a conversation before saying a word.

I watched this and the guy was pretty impressive. The problem I had was that I couldn't understand a word he said because of his accent. He was telling stories but I couldn't make out any of them.

 

[Nelford]

The last one on being direct is the one I use all the time. I am not too fond of small talk plus the girl knows why you are in her face, just get to the point and you will save time for the both of you. If she is interested she will help you by asking questions unless she just plain shy.

 

[edger]

I am, for one, aftraid others will hear and see and watch me do it (I know I shouldn't care)

I totally hear ya. It puts me out of my comfort zone when approaching in front of others. I don't like it. It's like taking a crap and having someone watch you.