In your opinion, what's the most painful way to break up with a long term girlfriend?

[Brighty]

Just out of curiosity, I know a lot of you guys spend a lot of time psychoanalyzing the mentality of women and I'll admit I'm a little rusty. My good buddy actually approached me with this question yesterday night when we were drinking after his Valentine's Day went to sh!t and he knows his year long relationship with his girlfriend is coming to an end. I'll admit, it kind of caught me off guard, and it seems kind of sadistic, and I guess there's some real bitter malice there, but it did strike me as an interesting question (I sound like a total d!ck writing that, but I mean in a psychologically, clinical kind of way). I've had my fair share of sh!tty relationships in the past and nothing strokes my ego more than having an ex message me how much they miss me, so in your opinion what is the worst way you can break up with a girl to make them miss you/have a hard time getting over you?

1. Would it be to just be completely indifferent and show no emotion and just end it?

2. Would it be saying that you cheated on her so that she always questions herself and feels inadequate?

3. Would it be to be a complete @sshole and write her a letter explaining why you're breaking up with her and point out all her inadequacies and claiming your better than her and that she'll never find another man like you?

4. Would it be to be understanding and caring, but unwavering and firm in your decision (and saying that you'll be there as friends, etc)?

5. Would it be to surround yourself with lots of other girls and post pictures of it on Facebook, etc, to make her jealous?

Or would it be to simply be a combination of 1 and 4, and just go on and live your life and act as if nothing ever happened? I've always been a firm believer that the best "revenge" you can get on an ex is just living life and being happy, not only for yourself, but in case she ever creeps on your facebook and sees all the fun you're having.

I've never been a big fan of the more malicious stuff, but what my buddy said did get me thinking, when it's time to cut your ties, and you egotistically want this girl to have the hardest time getting over you, what's the ideal way to go about it?

 

[Dgwizdal]

Only commenting because this is an interesting question: well assume this girl deserves it. The absolute worst way to dump a chick is completely falling off the face of the planet with no indication, explanation, or reason. Leave zero way for her to get a hold of you. Her hamster will run itself to death forever and she will have nothing "malicious" that you've done to her to rationalize that she's better off without you.

 

[IndeedSir]

Definitely 1 & 4. If you dump her on friendly terms, she won't be scared to message you about how much she misses you. I'm still getting drunk texts from my last serious plate. Bahaha. Plus, it's good to be a decent person. I wasn't nice and supportive of her when I broke up with her to try and be manipulative. She was genuinely a great girl, but just too young to give me what I wanted. I actually did want to stay friends with her and I didn't want her to be upset. If you're always keeping your frame with you're interactions with women then there should never be any need to be a d*ck to them. You're always coming from a calm, collected place where your frame is sturdy and you will be respected or walk away.

 

[IndeedSir]

Only commenting because this is an interesting question: well assume this girl deserves it. The absolute worst way to dump a chick is completely falling off the face of the planet with no indication, explanation, or reason. Leave zero way for her to get a hold of you. Her hamster will run itself to death forever and she will have nothing "malicious" that you've done to her to rationalize that she's better off without you.

That's true. A lot of women will want "closure". Denying them that is pretty evil!

 

[Chase24]

He should just end it if he has a problem. Blowing it up and tearing her apart is just going to create problems and make mutual friends hostile to him. It also destroys chances with girls who know of the situation because it makes him look like a complete ****. Finally, it makes him look weak because he's obviously just doing it to get a rise out of it.

But for just arguments sake... I think it could be a lighter version of 3. Make it sound like a nice thing of reasons why it's over, but subtly point out every flaw of hers. Then don't speak to her again. That would destroy a girl's ego without making her think you were pointedly being a ****. She would be self conscious about everything that was pointed out. But most decent girls would wise up and realize the real reason for the letter. I've seen girls who had their flaws pointed out become shadows of their former selves.

Almost always option 1 though. Less effort and honestly, who cares? Just end it.

But don't do it and just say bye and not talk to her again. Not worth it.

 

[skinnyguy]

Give her an STD? I don't know... You should stop caring about her so much and move on with your own life. Hook up wit an HB 9 so that you will forget about her

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'd fvck her sluttiest friend.

 

[El Payaso]

Like was said before, drop off the face of the Earth without a word. Women can't live without proper closure.

Cheating on her will just make it easier for her to rationalize the breakup. She might cry for a bit but she will eventually rationalize it. Disappearing will forever leave questions in her head.

 

[ludis]

Like was said before, drop off the face of the Earth without a word. Women can't live without proper closure.

Cheating on her will just make it easier for her to rationalize the breakup. She might cry for a bit but she will eventually rationalize it. Disappearing will forever leave questions in her head.

This, except that you completely dissappear without a warning as well.
For maximum effect, take her out the night before vanishing day and give her the time of her life while acting like she's the love of your life.

 

[thelastmanonearth]

I gave up caring after the last one, she tortured my family calling them when I told her it was over. She had me driving her around, was a nympho, kids one she didn't have custody of and lied about {major red flag I missed due to P intoxication}, it was great sex, I could do anything I wanted to her in bed, she would beg me for anal when we were hot and heavy {she told me it helped her with her constipation... wtf}. She liked to start arguments, I'd just leave her place and she would start calling and texting me to come back, nope. Next day would tell me to come over like nothing happened... I put up with it for a couple months and then went NC, she ruined women for me for about a year. I fell off the face of the earth trying to rebuild myself to never again get involved with that type of chick. The most painful part of all that was the self realization that I had wasted three months of my life on a pathological liar. Oh when I told her it was over she started crying crocodile tears and said she was going to kill herself, then said I left clothes and to come get them... She knew if I went over she could get me in bed again and start the bs all over, I was wise to it finally though, told her to burn my **** and I threw that phone away, thank god for prepay phones with no contract.
The most painful way is to drag it out when you know it's over just to get a few more nuts in.

So I guess do the opposite of or exactly that as a guy minus the kids.

 

[El Payaso]

This, except that you completely dissappear without a warning as well.
For maximum effect, take her out the night before vanishing day and give her the time of her life while acting like she's the love of your life.

That will rattle every single last nut in her brain. Any day she sees you, she will forever chase you even if she is married. I'm serious.

 

[Brighty]

All interesting responses. The psychology of women vs men in how they handle breakups and how diverse it is is really fascinating IMO.

 

[Don_Dom]

That will rattle every single last nut in her brain. Any day she sees you, she will forever chase you even if she is married. I'm serious.

This.

Especially if the very next time she sees you after your going ghost is with a chick she knows and doesn't like and is a bit hotter than her.

Not something you can really plan but, for the sake of the discussion, his happened to my sister with her high school boy friend...I don't remember all of the details but it was the classic perfect high school couple...she goes away for college...they try to make a go of the LDR but, of course it doesn't work, because that's just insane at that age. From what I remember, they wind up in a big fight because one of them was paranoid about the other cheating, he goes ghost, starts seeing this girl she didn't like all thru high school because she always thought she was after her bf...apparently so...he knocks the new girl up and marries her and they've been together since.

That was like 20 years ago and when she runs into the guy or his name comes up you can literally watch her hamster spin still to this day.

Actually, come to think of it, the biggest post breakup fight my last ex and I had before I went NC was over the fact that I had started dating a girl she was always paranoid about because she was TONS hotter than her even though we had always, up to that point, just been friends. Bear in mind we broke up because I busted her cheating on me and, from what I could tell, she was riding **** like it was her job after we split up. But the mere mention of me dating this particular girl (i said nothing about hooking up or anything like that) and she hits the roof as if I'd told her I ran over her dog on the way to a threesome with her sister and best friend.

Girls are so funny.

 

[Suspens]

Here's a painful scenario:


Take her to an outdoor activity and let her know one of your friends is also coming.


Call one of your slutty girl friends to come with you. Ask her to act touchy-luvy and flirt with you during the picnic.

And finally, when you are going out, pick up the sluty friend first and ask her to sit on the front seat. And you know what will happen for the rest of the day.