5. THOU SHALL VIBE
Social intelligence is the foundation of your game. You dont have to become a party animal or trendy hipster, but in general you should learn to communicate and vibe with people. The problem is that many of us are trapped in our own heads due to extended periods of isolation. We work and study alone, get worn out and go home to plug into the television or internet...alone...again! We have to make a conscious effort to be social.
Chilling should be a major priority in your life. Hang out more often with friends. Find places that pique your interest where you can let loose and have a great time. Bars, restaurants, stores, cafes, streets, classes, gyms, clubs, etc are all excellent places to mingle. Learn to make friends of strangers and keep expanding your social circle till you are totally at ease in the company of others. Without some degree of social skills, you are pretty much useless!
There was a time that I suffered from social phobia, then I realized some of the mistakes I was making that kept me from vibing properly.
- Talking/moving too fast.
- Not maintaining eye contact.
- Not talking at all, lost in my own thoughts and spacing out.
- Nervous fidgeting, closed body language.
- Censoring my words, being insincere.
- Getting offended when people poked fun at me.
- Worrying about the impression I was making.
- Over-selling myself, trying to be “cool”
All of these things conveyed personal anxiety and neediness. Is it any wonder I could not make any friends? Nobody likes a desperate try-hard, so take another look at the above list and do the complete opposite. Do yourself a favor and RELAX because the world is your living room! You don’t have to be a clown or entertainer, but people will enjoy your company when you can make FUN of anything!
The cool part is that once you get a feel for this vibe, you will discover that you really don’t need to rely on patterns or routines and will invent new material on the fly. If your vibe is right, then your game will be tight!
6. THOU SHALL FLIRT.
Let your eye contact and physical touch show her that you are a sexual being. But don’t stop there, keep upping the ante and don’t worry about being offensive. Be persistent and quite often you will be surprised to see just how much she will let you get away with!
Be playful. Tickle her. Spin her around. Make fun of her quirks of character or style of dress. Accuse her of seducing you. Give her conflicting messages by telling her she is cute as you withdraw, and that she is not your type as you feel her up. Treat her like a spoiled child who desperately needs a good spanking!
Sometimes you can escalate like this all the way to the bedroom. But more often than not, you will notice that when you cross this line with certain girls, they will feel one of three things
- Creeped out because your actions seem forced and out of character
- Validated by your attention and feel like they already “have you”.
- The need to be more of a challenge so they don’t come off as being too easy.
In either case, you will notice them losing interest, playing hard-to-get, or flat out ignoring you. A great way to get them chasing you again is to qualify them. This is when you set up obstacles so that they have to jump through your hoops to get on your good side again. For example:
YOU: You are kinda hot...but you could never be my girlfriend.
HER: What? Why do you say that???
YOU: I only date nice girls and you have trouble written all over you.
HER: No I am nice! Really!
YOU: Right...sure.
HER: (Trying to convince you she is nice)
The above is just an example, instead of “nice” insert whatever quality you are looking for. You can even say the complete opposite, that she is too nice for you and what you really need is a bad girl! It doesn’t matter as long as you are giving her something to strive for. Set your standards and let her try to make the grade so she has to actually work for your affection. Once she jumps through your hoop, be sure to reward her with hugs/kisses/ass-grabbing and keep escalating!
This type of approach works exceptionally well for those crazy party girls who are just looking to have a good time. However, if you are looking for something deeper than a one-night stand, then you need to put some more effort in...
7. THOU SHALL CONNECT
A more virtuous woman has to feel a connection in order to share her body with you. On a certain level she has to know how REAL you are before she will part those thighs! This is why you need to pry her soul open and see what she is made of. Once you do this, you will be able to reach her on an emotional level.
HINT: you won’t get there by asking her where she works, how old she is, etc.. This will only reinforce her image of you as a stranger in her world. What you really want to do is instill a feeling of FAMILIARITY!
Once you have a little rapport going, ask her things that you honestly would like to know......the craziest thing she ever did...her most embarrassing moment...the last time she was totally in love, how it happened.... sexiest body parts, etc. Trade dirty little secrets & fantasies, compare scars, and swap war stories. Stimulate her FEELINGS! Your objective is to take her on an emotional mission that disengages her logical mind by giving her a taste of laughter, sadness, lust, anger, joy, etc.
It’s also great to establish expectations on both sides. Find out what she is looking for in a lover, then look at your life to see which of these qualities you possess. Try not to qualify yourself to her using adjectives to describe yourself (I am smart, funny, sensitive, etc), instead use stories and anecdotes of your life to convey these values indirectly. This way she can reach her own conclusions about you, instead of being spoon-fed your own perceptions.
The best part is that this works both ways...tell her precisely what you look for in a woman and watch her do the exact same thing!
You connect with her like this for various reasons. To name a few:
1. It makes her see that you are not JUST after the sex and actually value personality.
2. You touch on parts of her life that some of her closest friends don’t know about.
3. You engage her emotions so that later on she can rationalize the two of you hooking up.
4. You are actually screening her the whole time to see if she is cool enough for you!
The above suggestions are merely an idea of subjects to talk about. Don’t force them or ask them too soon. If you are pressing her for her life story before she shows genuine interest, then you will only push her away! Always maintain a relaxed and laidback vibe, as if you are merely humoring her and not really into the conversation. Reward her with more attention/affection when she says/does something cool.
Whatever the case, don’t fall into the trap of being too eager to talk about yourself. Let her fill in the blanks sometimes. For example, during your conversations you will inevitably get interrupted by someone else, or some other distraction in your environment. When the distraction goes away, don’t be so eager to continue where you left off, instead go off on tangents and leave the previous topics hanging in the balance. All of these unresolved plots help keep her hooked into your world and sparks her curiosity even further. Congratulations, you have become a mystery and she will now be compelled to unravel you!
But don’t bust out the party hats just yet, buddy. At some point you are gonna have to bite the bullet and man up, or you will be taking the express train to Friendsville!
8. THOU SHALL DOMINATE.
The sexiest thing you can do for a woman is LEAD her.
From the moment they set eyes you, chicks can tell if you are dominant or submissive to them.
Dominant = Masculine = Potential Lover.
Submissive = Feminine = Uhh...Let’s just be friends!
In other words, establish your role from the get-go. Don’t be afraid to lock eyes with her, because the instant you look away, she will see that you are intimidated by her and this is not attractive. Girls are supposed to be intimidated by us, not vice-versa!
So let’s say you do the approach and game her enough to get the number. Before you decide to call, have a master plan in place because for a woman, it is a huge turn off when you say shít like “I dunnooooooo...what do you want to do?”
It’s also not attractive when you look for her approval with questions. She ain’t your momma, so don’t go looking for permission! There is a world of difference between ASKING her “Will you go out with me?” and TELLING her “You seem pretty cool. Let’s hang out sometime...” Let her know exactly what is gonna happen and how much fun it will be, or better yet, just take her hand and MAKE it happen right then and there!
As the man in this mating game, it’s your job to call the shots. You decide where the conversation goes. You decide when/where to meet. You decide when its time to switch venues. You set the frame of the interaction. Keep in mind that chicks get off on submission, it is their nature to be penetrated physically, emotionally and spiritually. They honestly can’t help getting extremely turned on when they relinquish their control to a man who HANDLES them.
Thing is, even after they have decided they want you, they STILL wont make that first move. They are simply waiting for you to show dominance and simply TAKE what you want!
