In Need of Some Guidance

[Sojourn]

Well the last year hasn't been kind to me. Let me just start at the beginning. In the fall of 2008 I started my second year in a community college. At the time I was not doing well. I'm not going to make excuses as to why I was failing my classes. The only thing that I will say is that I was lazy, and decided to hang out with my friends instead of studying. I barely managed to pass my classes.

Around the end of December my father was laid off. To make things worse my brothers job cut his hours. In order to pay the bills I had to work 40 plus hours a week in retail. Needless to say it was and still is horrible. During that stretch I gained about 30pounds. When I finally stepped on a scale in June I weighed 295Lbs.( I am 5feet 10inches tall yea I know I'm a fat ass) That was rock botom for me. For a while I thought I was depressed. I was sad all the time, was always tired, etc... The worst thing for me was looking in the mirror where I work. I needed new pants so I went to try some on. For the first time in years I saw my entire body in front of a mirror. It was utterly disgusting.

Around the time of my birthday things started to look better. In the middle of August my father finally found another job. I was able to cut my hours at work. Now I only work 3-4 days a week (only about 15-20/hours). Since then I have also lost about 20lbs. The most important thing is my weight. I feel like right now I have a good thing going.

I have no idea what I want to be doing in the future. I took psychology in school. Although it was easy and I could just cram all the information at the end and pass. I also hated it. The only other things I could think of doing are engineering or computer science. The only problem is that I am behind on my math,writing,etc... right now. I haven't done any real math in a year (like algebra, pre calculus, etc..).

As my title suggest I am in need of some guidance. I just feel so lost at the moment. I don't have any real direction in life. If anyone has any advice on staying positive,doing well school,loosing weight,etc.. please post. I also wanted to ask how is engineering or computer science? I mean how hard is it? Do you enjoy your classes? What kind of classes are you taking? How can I improve my math skills before starting school again?

I'm not sure if this belongs here. If this doesn't belong here than can one of the mods please move this.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Stay positive. Life is short - find what you like to do and do it! Freud said that we are what we repeatedly do, and that is very true.

For me, without going into too many of my personal details, I had a lot of options coming out of school because of my proficiency in a certain field. But my love for music supersedes any of that, and instead of going for the fast/easy payday and spend my life being miserable, I'm grinding out a day job while I finish my master's in music slowly. Why? Because I'd rather struggle my ass off but spend my days doing an activity that fulfills me. At the end of the day, your life is the sum total of what you spent your time doing.

Do things for yourself first and foremost. Our existence is far too brief to waste any time doing anything that you feel in your heart you shouldn't be doing. Find whatever it is that makes you tick and make it a core part of your life. Men will respect you for it. Women will be attracted to you because of it. But most importantly, you will find inner peace. Good luck.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Young Brother.

The first thing you need to do is fogive yourself. Everything you've done is from a decision you made. Life doesn't throw you curveballs. Life doesn't treat you bad.

You treat yourself bad. You're not a victim of circumstance. You chose to not pay attention to your studies. You chose to hang out with your buddies. You made the decision to work a sh!tty job.

Accept responsiblity for yourself.

Decide that today is the first day of the rest of your life. Stick with your weight loss regiment. Walk a bit. Read something positive. Fvck self defeatist mentality. If you hate your job, find another then quit. There are a myriad of opportunities out there for the taking.

Don't worry about if your friends give you sh!t about making your life better. If they're content passing the pipe around while watching reruns of Matlock pissing away their lives, it's their decision not yours. Give them the opportun ity to learn from their own mistakes.

You can only control yourself. You can't and won't save the world so release that burden from your subconscious.

Step outside of yourself and take a long look. Now, imagine yourself five minutes from now. Five only. Imagine yourself as a young brother with drive and purpose. See every detail from the sweat on your brow to the shine on your shoes.

Then make it happen. Base your next decision on a positive then watch as those positives stack up.

They'll equal success faster than a bullet.

Let me know if there's anything you need.

You can do it.

 

[Sojourn]

Thanks for the advice guys. I have just been thinking for the last couple of days. Trying to figure everything out. I am going to keep a journal so that I can record all of my progress. There are several different things I want to do in my life so I wrote them all down. The main thing I want to work on is my weight. I broke down each area in my life I want to work on and a plan to achieve it. The things that I want to work on are as follows.

Weight: The most important thing I want to change is my weight for obvious reasons. I am joining a gym tomorrow morning(the gym my father goes to is only $20 a month). I don't have a person to show me the ropes so I am going to stick with cardio for the most part. My plan is to go Monday,Wed,Friday,Saturday,Sunday. When I get someone else to join me at the gym I will start lifting. Monday,Wed., and Friday are the days I will lift. I will also do cardio everyday I go to the gym. At the moment I can't afford to eat exactly what I want so I will have to be careful of what I eat.

Writing: I want to become an author. The plan is pretty simple I am going to write everyday for 2 hours minimum. I also joined NaNoWrimo. It is a site that has a writing contest every November. The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel at the end of the month. Once I go back to school next year I will take a couple of writing classes.

Japanese: I am trying to become fluent in Japanese. The plan is to study the books I have on learning Japanese. Every day I want to study for at least 2 hours. Once I get back in school it should be easier because I can then take a Japanese class.

Guitar and Piano: I am also trying to learn how to play both of these instruments. I already have both of them so all I need to do is find a teacher. A good friend of mine is a really good guitar player, and he is going to teach me how to play. I am going to meet up with him every week, and he is going to teach me how to play. Learning how to play the piano is trickier. I don't have a car at the moment so I can't taking lessons from a private teacher. Luckily my school has a beginners Piano class I can take. Although the class is in a campus in a neighboring city there is a bus that I can take.

School: That is the second most important thing I have to control. I have already spoken to some counselors etc... and have goten some help form them. There is a tutoring program at my school and I am going to join it. The best way for me to stay on top of my work is by doing my work write after my class. So when I am going to pick my classes for the next semester I want to choose my classes wisely. I mean I want to choose a class and make sure I have at least one hour before my next class. That way I can get all my work done. I talked to my boss and once I go back to school I am only going to work 2days a week.

The only problem I have with the last part is that I still don't know what I want to take. I am not sure if I want to take computer science or if I want to take engineering. So if anyone has any experience with either of those classes please share them.

Also I am looking for books,videos,etc.. on staying positive,self confidence,etc.. again any help would be appreciated. Tanks for the help and I will be sure to keep you guys updated on my progress.

This is all a work in progress and I am still trying to find goal posts, goal markers, etc.. for everything. I'm still working on a daily schedule of things to do as well.

 

[Joe Stud]

your weight seems to trouble you most. Continue going to the gym, but do some upper body (arms mostly) lifting. Women like a strong upper bod. It also compensates, and balances out those few extra lbs.

Also, weigh yourself every single day. when you gain a pound, PUNISH yourself and lose it. That way it cant get out of hand.

 

[Sojourn]

I'm just going to use this thread as a journal. I want to keep track of everything on here so that I can get feedback and advice from other people. The plan is to update the thread once or twice every week. I hope that other people will come to the thread and share their experiences.

The Plan: So far

Weight: Exercise every ****ing day no excuses.
•Lose 100 lbs by November 1st, 2010
•Watch what you eat. The list of stuff you can no longer eat or drink.
1.No candy (snickers, chocolate, all the god awful **** you eat, etc..).
2.No soda of any kind (Coke, Pepsi, Ginger ale).
3.No chips at all.
4.No more convenience store **** (7-11 taquitos, sandwiches, etc...)
5.Do not bring more than 55 cents to work.
6.Make something to eat for work.
7.No more fast food (Burger King, Chinese food, etc..) no take out in general.

Writing: Write every day no exceptions
1.Complete the NaNoWrimo challenge (50,000 word novel by November 30, 2009).
2.Write everyday for 2 hours.
3.Become an active reader. Input all of the words into anki.
4.Expand my vocabulary by using vocab/SAT books.
5.Work on grammar and English language skills.
6.Read every day (1/2 and hour-1 hour).
7.Get a book or short story published by your 25th birthday.

Japanese: Practice listening, writing, and speaking everyday 2hours minimum
1.Pass JLPT after two years of study.
2.Be able to read a Japanese novel and newspaper without the help of a dictionary.
3.Go to Japan in two years.

Piano/Guitar: Practice every other day for 1 hour
1.Get a private teacher as soon as you can afford one.
2.Take piano classes at school in the meantime.
3.Use the piano method books I have currently until school starts.
3.Set different songs as goal post so I can measure my progress.

Other areas I need to improve are my typing skills,school, and drawing. I want to be able to draw portraits of people. I enjoy drawing, but for some reason stopped. I'm not focusing on woman at the moment. I feel like if I work on the other areas in my life at the moment that success with woman will come in time. Although I am not working on gaining more success with woman I am working on being more sociable. One thing about working at retail is that plenty of woman come to my job. So I try to start basic conversations so that I can work on my speaking skills.

Couple of things I wanted to add is that all this will take about 8-10 hours a day. When school starts I will have more time because I will work less. I am going to treat this like a job. If I meet certain goals I will reward myself with different things. For example, when I go back to school if I have a GPA>3.5 for two semester I will buy myself a new guitar or piano. I'm still working on setting different goals and ways to measure my progress. One last thing I went to the library today and took out a bunch of books. Some Anthony Robbins books, self help books, meditation, etc... If anyone has any thought or advice you are welcome to post in the thread.

 

[WC2]

You're cutting out soda, candy, and chips.

Fine. But this should be obvious at this point.

If your main concern is your weight then you need to consider JUST as strict as diet as workout regimen.

Going to the gym is going to HELP, but what you eat is what you will be.

Go on nutrition forums and lay yourself out a semi-strict diet regimen. If you start TOO strict, you'll quit.

Give yourself 1 cheat meal a week to pig out. When I say 1 meal I mean 1 MEAL.

If you're going to lift weights, PLEASE don't just lift your arms. Whoever said that is an idiot.

The reason being is that when you life BIG muscle groups (Chest/Legs/Back/Shoulders), it not only raises your testosterone but it builds more muscle mass.

More muscle mass = More fat burning

Cardio is pretty self explanitory.. you can find plenty of data on the internet for what's most effective for weight loss (Cardio @ 65-75% load for medium amounts of time).

But let me stress, DIET should not be overlooked in the least.

Make sure you're in caloric deficit as opposed to caloric surplus.

best of luck

 

[Sojourn]

Already have my diet down. Totals come down to

Total Calories 2668, total fat 70.3g, Carbs 260.2g, Protein 288.7g. Ohh should have been more specific about my diet.This is all the things I am going to eat in a day egg whites,spinach,Apples,Oatmeal,green tea,Tuna,whole wheat bread,walnuts,lettuce, green peppers,ground turkey, broccoli, sweet potato,almonds,Cottage Cheese and whey.

Going to see how that goes, and I will adjust my diet accordingly. I'm currently looking at different workout programs. Found something that is simple

Monday
Squat - 3 sets of 5
Bench Press - 3 sets of 5
Deadlifts - 1 set of 5

Wednesday
Squat - 3 sets of 5
Overhead Press - 3 sets of 5
Power Cleans - 5 sets of 3

Friday
Squat - 3 sets of 5
Bench Press - 3 sets of 5
Deadlift - 1 set of 5
Bent Over Rows - 3 set of 5

Can't lift until I find someone to go to the gym with. I'm not worried about my diet I'm just worried about what lifting program I should start. Thanks for the input WC2.

Edit: Can't start the diet for another month now. Low on cash.

 

[Big Poppa]

I'm loving your dedication man!

I can help with the working out bit! I've been going to the gym for almost two years now, I've taken a high school and college nutrition classes. Message me if you think you need some ideas for a workout plan!

As for your diet, any real lifter will tell you, getting fit is 90% nutrition and 10% working out/cardio. Focus more on your eating habits first.

Avoid supplements these first several months as your body will still be getting used to this new lifestyle. Screw hydrocut and all that, waste of money!

I recommend doing weightlifting one day, running the next, weight lifting the next day, the day after cardio etc. It's better for your joints to jog and bike then to actually run, especially if your on hard cement.

Sorry if all these tips are scattered But anyways, keep it up!

 

[Big Poppa]

Oh yeah, as for your current workout, it's great!

Focus more on compound lifts instead of isolation exercises.

Please for the love of all that is holy, stay away from the smith, nautilus and any type of machine! They are no excuse for free weights! Cables have their place and don't be afraid to do some body weight exercises when your able!

Never cheat on your lifts, perform them with precision! I don;t care if you think you can do three more, if your form is getting sloppy your just wasting energy.

With form comes strength, with strength comes size and definition. It rarely goes the other way around.

 

[Sojourn]

Thanks for all the advice guys. I have a question though how much weight do I start with on all the different lifts? That is the only part I don't get. How much weight do I start of at and how much weight do I add weekly?

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

Sounds like you've got things going. That's good.

Weight: The most important thing I want to change is my weight for obvious reasons. I am joining a gym tomorrow morning(the gym my father goes to is only $20 a month). I don't have a person to show me the ropes so I am going to stick with cardio for the most part. My plan is to go Monday,Wed,Friday,Saturday,Sunday. When I get someone else to join me at the gym I will start lifting. Monday,Wed., and Friday are the days I will lift. I will also do cardio everyday I go to the gym. At the moment I can't afford to eat exactly what I want so I will have to be careful of what I eat.

The most important thing is the food you eat, not how much you work out. I know people who work out every day and are still impressively fat.

Also,

Also, weigh yourself every single day. when you gain a pound, PUNISH yourself and lose it. That way it cant get out of hand.

Your weight can fluctuate a lot, and weighing yourself everyday puts a wrong perspective on how you look. So actually does looking in the mirror every day because your water retention can vary.

I recommend taking pictures in a steady interval.

your weight seems to trouble you most. Continue going to the gym, but do some upper body (arms mostly) lifting. Women like a strong upper bod. It also compensates, and balances out those few extra lbs.

Your lower body (calves, hamstrings, glutes, quads etc.) is about 50 percent of your body. It's stupid to only train half your body, and besides that, squats increase testosterone and helps you to build overall muscle growth.