In need of serious girl advice

[sceneparade]

There was a woman I met where I was convinced she was interested in me. She gave a lot of signs. One time I caught her looking and she quickly looked away like she wasn't looking.

Next she would be staring at me and when I looked she locked eyes with me and held contact for a few seconds before I looked away.

Another time we unexpectedly bumped into each other she her eyes widened like in surprise (although not surprised) and she seemed nervous seeing me.

Then she initiated a conversation with me and made really long eye contact where she was staring in my eyes for like a minute. She then told me I looked handsome.

I then was talking to a friend when I saw her and she made eye contact and carried on walking towards a room before turning round and looking back at me.

A few days later she would talk to me and make long eye contact again, before looking down at my dyck and then back up to making eye contact.

Then her friend asked me if I see more than one woman at any one time and have affairs.

Recently, I was standing next to her and she was nervous around me and couldn't look at me, and just started clicking her tongue (like nervous). Then I bumped into her outside as she walked past. I looked at her and she looked at me and immediately down at the ground. Then last week she stared at me when she saw me, and then held eye contact when I looked at her. She didn't look away.

Yesterday she was walking past me and then turned round to look back at me. Even my friend said "how did you pull her. She is nice."

Anyway. my friend over heard her talking to her friend and said she wasn't interested in any guy at the moment.

My point is, I am confused by her mixed signals. Was she interested or playing games?

She is a very outgoing and confident person and is flirty with men, but quiet around me.

Thanks for advice.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You are suffering from analysis paralysis. It is like you are waiting for this girl to write you a hand-written note that says, "I like you, ask me out and I will have sex with you," and you want that level of certainty in order to avoid the risk of being rejected by her.

You can't operate like this with women. You don't have to sit there and think about all these signals and signs. You simply ask her out on a date for a specific time and place and anything other than a yes means she isn't interested, and you can then ignore any signals she gives you after that. It's that simple. Stop wondering and get to the truth by asking. As for rejection, you must learn to accept it. Just like every woman can't be your type, you can't be every woman's type, and just because one particular woman might not be interested in you, doesn't mean you aren't attractive to another woman. It has no reflection on your value.

 

[Robert28]

You are suffering from analysis paralysis. It is like you are waiting for this girl to write you a hand-written note that says, "I like you, ask me out and I will have sex with you," and you want that level of certainty in order to avoid the risk of being rejected by her.

You can't operate like this with women. You don't have to sit there and think about all these signals and signs. You simply ask her out on a date for a specific time and place and anything other than a yes means she isn't interested, and you can then ignore any signals she gives you after that. It's that simple. Stop wondering and get to the truth by asking. As for rejection, you must learn to accept it. Just like every woman can't be your type, you can't be every woman's type, and just because one particular woman might not be interested in you, doesn't mean you aren't attractive to another woman. It has no reflection on your value.

This exactly. I wish I could show you some of the women that rejected me in the past compared to the ones who said “yes!”. Looking back, I was like you at times, I’d overthink everything and it made me even more hesitant and act un-natural.

 

[sceneparade]

You are suffering from analysis paralysis. It is like you are waiting for this girl to write you a hand-written note that says, "I like you, ask me out and I will have sex with you," and you want that level of certainty in order to avoid the risk of being rejected by her.

You can't operate like this with women. You don't have to sit there and think about all these signals and signs. You simply ask her out on a date for a specific time and place and anything other than a yes means she isn't interested, and you can then ignore any signals she gives you after that. It's that simple. Stop wondering and get to the truth by asking. As for rejection, you must learn to accept it. Just like every woman can't be your type, you can't be every woman's type, and just because one particular woman might not be interested in you, doesn't mean you aren't attractive to another woman. It has no reflection on your value.

I do over analyse, you are right.

But what she done seemed cruel, toying with peoples feelings. Gave signals and then friend overhears she isn't into anyone at the moment. but continues to give signals.

Is she an attention *****? If she keeps giving signals, like looking round at me and the like, looking at my dyck etc.

And do I out right ignore her, or just politely say hello on passing but no conversations

 

[Robert28]

I do over analyse, you are right.

But what she done seemed cruel, toying with peoples feelings. Gave signals and then friend overhears she isn't into anyone at the moment. but continues to give signals.

Is she an attention *****? If she keeps giving signals, like looking round at me and the like, looking at my dyck etc.

And do I out right ignore her, or just politely say hello on passing but no conversations

You can cut through all that bs easily by just saying “you have any plans this weekend? Wanna make some with me? Let’s go out” If she gives you the “I’m not really looking to date anyone right now” or anything similar then you know to leave her alone and let her send all the signals and bs she wants, let her waste her time not yours becsuse you made your move and got your answer.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

But what she done seemed cruel, toying with peoples feelings. Gave signals and then friend overhears she isn't into anyone at the moment. but continues to give signals.

Still overthinking. Girls are social creates and masters at playing games. She could have told her friend to say that in order to test you. She could have lied to her friend in hopes that it got back to you in order to see how you would respond. She could think you are physically attractive but because you are of the wrong race or religion or age or class or whatever, she won't actually pull the trigger and proceed with you.

But none of that matters. All you have to do is ask her out. If she says no, then you just politely say hello in passing but have no conversations and don't give her any validation, time, or attention, and you ignore any signals she is giving you.

Edit - looks like Robert just beat me to it. Agree with everything he said.

 

[sceneparade]

Still overthinking. Girls are social creates and masters at playing games. She could have told her friend to say that in order to test you. She could have lied to her friend in hopes that it got back to you in order to see how you would respond. She could think you are physically attractive but because you are of the wrong race or religion or age or class or whatever, she won't actually pull the trigger and proceed with you.

But none of that matters. All you have to do is ask her out. If she says no, then you just politely say hello in passing but have no conversations and don't give her any validation, time, or attention, and you ignore any signals she is giving you.

Edit - looks like Robert just beat me to it. Agree with everything he said.

The consequence of the mixed signals is that it makes me doubt my reading choosing signals. My friends are very sociable and great with chit-chat with women, and they said they were choosing signals. Now I doubt myself, which makes me more anxious in future to approach in case I am wrong.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You don't need choosing signals. You can completely ignore them. When I walk down the street or the grocery store isle, *I* make the choosing decision based on what *I* want. I don't need a choosing signal from a woman. Many women don't even see me, or if they do they are so busy in their head thinking about whatever they are thinking about that they don't really look at me. In addition, married women and women with boyfriends will eye-fvck me all the time - so I'm getting choosing signals from women who won't go out on a date with me because they are taken. So why rely on choosing signals which may have zero relevance on the outcome?

The simply fact is: There are no universal, foolproof signals a woman will give a guy that guarantees she will date and sleep with him. Therefore, you must not rely on choosing signals.

You cut through all of that by looking for a girl you think is attractive and regardless of what she does or doesn't do, you ask her out. She says yes or she says no. Done. No wondering.

Stop looking for choosing signals. Stop looking for an invitation. You will never know a woman's true feelings until you force her to make a decision about you, and the only way you will accomplish that is to ask her out on a date. There is no alternative to this other than to sit around agonizing over conflicting clues.

which makes me more anxious in future to approach in case I am wrong.

Again, you are saying that you will not ask a girl out unless you are sure she will say yes. This is feminine behavior. A masculine man is confident in himself and isn't afraid to ask a girl out who might say no. One way women screen men is to give them mixed signals and see how they handle it. An insecure feminine man is too afraid of rejection to be bold and ask her out. So if she gives mixed signals and the guy doesn't ask her out, she knows he is not a high-value, masculine man, and she loses any attraction she had for him. This is what you are doing. On the other hand, if she IS interested and he does ask her, it turns her on all the more.

But if you are suffering from the need for a green light in order to avoid rejection, you have more work you need to do with yourself to increase your self-confidence and self worth before you will be successful with women. Even if you get past the initial date invite, your insecurity and fragile ego will show itself to her in other tests she gives you and this will turn her off.

 

[pipeman84]

You cut through all of that by looking for a girl you think is attractive and regardless of what she does or doesn't do, you ask her out. She says yes or she says no. Done. No wondering.

Stop looking for choosing signals. Stop looking for an invitation.

I think that may be awkward unless you live in a big city or travel a lot. If you indiscriminately hit on women in grocery stores or parks you frequent a lot, you'll get the reputation of being 'that guy'. Kind of like some guys get at the gym.

 

[bat soup]

There was a woman I met where I was convinced she was interested in me. She gave a lot of signs. One time I caught her looking and she quickly looked away like she wasn't looking.

Next she would be staring at me and when I looked she locked eyes with me and held contact for a few seconds before I looked away.

Another time we unexpectedly bumped into each other she her eyes widened like in surprise (although not surprised) and she seemed nervous seeing me.

Then she initiated a conversation with me and made really long eye contact where she was staring in my eyes for like a minute. She then told me I looked handsome.

I then was talking to a friend when I saw her and she made eye contact and carried on walking towards a room before turning round and looking back at me.

A few days later she would talk to me and make long eye contact again, before looking down at my dyck and then back up to making eye contact.

Then her friend asked me if I see more than one woman at any one time and have affairs.

Recently, I was standing next to her and she was nervous around me and couldn't look at me, and just started clicking her tongue (like nervous). Then I bumped into her outside as she walked past. I looked at her and she looked at me and immediately down at the ground. Then last week she stared at me when she saw me, and then held eye contact when I looked at her. She didn't look away.

Yesterday she was walking past me and then turned round to look back at me. Even my friend said "how did you pull her. She is nice."

Anyway. my friend over heard her talking to her friend and said she wasn't interested in any guy at the moment.

My point is, I am confused by her mixed signals. Was she interested or playing games?

She is a very outgoing and confident person and is flirty with men, but quiet around me.

Thanks for advice.

What are you asking us for?
Make a move already and you'll find out.

 

[derby1]

But what she done seemed cruel, toying with peoples feelings. Gave signals and then friend overhears she isn't into anyone at the moment. but continues to give signals.

Is she an attention *****? If she keeps giving signals, like looking round at me and the like, looking at my dyck etc.

they are experts at it. Then they take to complaining on SM when 1 Alpha male finesses their vagina

 

[Kotaix]

The consequence of the mixed signals is that it makes me doubt my reading choosing signals. My friends are very sociable and great with chit-chat with women, and they said they were choosing signals. Now I doubt myself, which makes me more anxious in future to approach in case I am wrong.

Who cares if you're wrong, at least you made a move.

She obviously wants you and she's being submissive, but if you approach her timidly then you're not going to get anywhere. Confidence is assumed and projected, not earned. This is why dumb guys do better with women than smart guys.

If you want her, approach her.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[sceneparade]

Who cares if you're wrong, at least you made a move.

She obviously wants you and she's being submissive, but if you approach her timidly then you're not going to get anywhere. Confidence is assumed and projected, not earned. This is why dumb guys do better with women than smart guys.

If you want her, approach her.

Where is she being submissive? I don't see it.

Plus, she's outgoing and confident so why would she be submissive?

 

[Kotaix]

Where is she being submissive? I don't see it.

Plus, she's outgoing and confident so why would she be submissive?

Looking down and away first after a long stare is submission. Although I hesitate to even tell you because you'll just use it to overanalyze more.

Women willingly submit to men that they want, even if they're feminists.

Low interest women want your validation.
High interest women want your seed.

You MUST ask her out, the timing will never be right, just do it. What are you afraid of? rejection?

 

[sceneparade]

Looking down and away first after a long stare is submission. Although I hesitate to even tell you because you'll just use it to overanalyze more.

Women willingly submit to men that they want, even if they're feminists.

Low interest women want your validation.
High interest women want your seed.

You MUST ask her out, the timing will never be right, just do it. What are you afraid of? rejection?

Wrong. She didn't state and then look down. She was walking towards me and saw me looking and so looked at me and immediately looked down when we made eye contact. Is it still submission?

Yes, rejection, amongst other things

 

[Kotaix]

Wrong. She didn't state and then look down. She was walking towards me and saw me looking and so looked at me and immediately looked down when we made eye contact. Is it still submission?

It doesn't matter. Either you're compatible with her and asking her out will be a success, or you're not and she'll turn you down. If she is truly attracted to you, she will

You can overanalyze this to the moon and back, but you can't control her attraction to you. The act of trying to control it makes you unattractive.

 

[sceneparade]

But none of that matters. All you have to do is ask her out. If she says no, then you just politely say hello in passing but have no conversations and don't give her any validation, time, or attention, and you ignore any signals she is giving you.

I am going to a party in December. How do I approach it? Is it the same as just say hello and nothing more? No validation or attention..