In Bed Again but She Stopped me Again

ngdonjuan

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Alright

Girl I was dating last year comes and visits, this HB9 model type every guy looks, etc... But also foreign, conservative and ambitious. Even when drunk her mind is taking control of her emotions and she makes rational decisions.

I was NC for a couple months, and when I beak NC she's always happy to hear from me but I kept it short and simple and she was like, I'm gonna be in town, etc. And we made plans to get together. It's not the first time I went NC with her.

So she came and visit and she asked me about my goals for my personal life, while out with a few of my friends which I kind of dodged and joked around. Let's come back to that in a sec.

As for my professional life she knows I've got my **** together, I have been more than successful enough.

Anyway, I get her back to my place no problem. And while it took some effort I did get her in bed, as she wanted to sleep on the sofa.

First attempted being a little touchy, she pushed back.

Second tried giving her a back rub, which she liked and acknowledged she was stressed out.

Third, after working my way down there for a little bit, she started twitching a bit, and she tried a few times with her hand keep mine away, but I gently moved it away. One time she twitched she was like "see that's cause of you". If those were orgasms I don't think she would have resisted so much. But she also started sweating a bit and told me to go to sleep and she ultimately got up and went to the couch.

I did not talk about the past nights events in the morning, again, I've studied the dj bible hard. I was also as aggressive and didn't let my emotions show.

The one thing I said on her way out is I wanted to ask her a personal question but later. She said send her a letter.

Alright need some coaching here, where did I go wrong? And what can I do next? Yes all women have a non logical live in the moment wild side, but getting to hers is tough, she is always thinking first and maybe this is her thinking and using her slut alarm. The only think I can think of that I may have gone wrong on is not telling her my personal goals in life, she's very much a serious girl and thinking about her future married and family life. Of course telling her my personal goals true, guessed or otherwise doesn't mean I need to be committed to her for life, but is that what I'm missing to put her at ease?

I may way to message her a day or two but I want to send a short message that "Of course I have personal goals. They're relatively normal but I only share them with someone when I think they have a small chance of being part of that someday..."

Advice fella's is much appreciated.

-NG
 

SirFratserlot

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Would she say shes too tired to Channing Taytum. All she has to do is spread her leg for 20 minutes.
 

zinc4

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very low IL here....you should move on...but i would have aggressively went for the kiss if i were you since she was in your bed...but her IL seems low to me...
 

TheException

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very low IL here

This^

But she also started sweating a bit and told me to go to sleep and she ultimately got up and went to the couch.

Translation: "Hey...in case you missed my first three hints, im not interested enough to hook up with you."

Its good n all to escalate and not be shameful about it.....when she is attracted. When we talk about not being afraid to escalate we are assuming shes interested, so as not to blow it for yourself by pu$$ying out. Your ex has desexualized you and no longer thinks of you in that way...as evident by her actions. She likes you around for the attention and self affirmation.

For the 100th time, NC isnt a period where you dont just talk to her and then all of a sudden text her. NC is NC. NO CONTACT!!! Do it. This girl is venomous for you, because your clearly still attached...and she isnt.
 

JoeMarron

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Im in agreement that this is just low interest. No anti slut defense or any of that. Just straight up low interest. Plus you broke NC and initiated this whole thing which is another strike against you. Move on. Don't bother with this chick again unless she shows up at your door wearing a trench coat..
 

nismo-4

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You're more into it than she is. Bad. You broke NC. Bad again.

She told you she's stressed out. Ditto! She wouldn't say that to Brad Pitt though!

Judge nismo feels your pain. But the fact is that she doesn't find you attractive. You're holding on. Your princess is in another castle. She's only gonna be a teasing attention wh0re. If not a friend.

You are guilty of breaking no contact and failure to realize low IL. That carries a fine of loneliness and 2 blue balls. To alleviate this, spin more plates and stay ghost on this girl. That is the best thing that is for you. So ordered.

BTW, if a woman wants to f**k you, she'll do it regardless of foreign cultures, norms, customs, religions, time constraints, etc. She'll drill through Stone Mountain to see you!

Case closed. Leave my courtroom.
 

ngdonjuan

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So the consensus is the key to success is to give up and you can't win?

How common are girls that insist you sleep over on the first time you meet them and then refuse to do much in bed... Seems to be a thing for me.

This was how the girl was when I first met her, not the only one.


On the other hand I've slept with girls that were only friends of mine for months then a bit of massage and dirty talk and they were at ease sleeping together...

idk

I need to get this **** down before I'm too old...
 

ngdonjuan

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On another note the cultural stuff does matter. I travel quite a bit and have a place on the other side of the world. I have some very pretty friends in Asia that dress sexy go to clubs and all yet are virgins in their mid to late 20's.

And I have some Spanish master DJ friends that are machines and put all these moves to the test in Asia. They brought home one girl after another but again, they couldn't get them to have sex with them.
 

VladPatton

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These are girls that just love the attention and don't care for sex. I met a 34 year old virgin-girl, so I am not surprised at this scenario. It is what it is. Dissecting her fücked up psyche isn't your job.

All you did was try, and that's all you can possibly do. Eventually you will sense this type of girl from a distance after making a few moves on them. It's like painting a wall with clear paint and expecting brilliant color. Not gonna happen, bud, they're a complete waste of a hard-on and hope. I'd have no more patience for such ball-inflating behavior like this. I'd throw her the fück out in a heartbeat, as would a lot of guys.

''Bıtch, you gave me a headache..., leave!''

Just go for another girl and let it dissolve. There's nothing more frustrating and annoying than a cὀckteasing girl and you shouldn't waste your time with them.

The plus side: Now you know out of experience
 
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