In a LTR - if you begin noticing loss of intimacy/interest

[Billtx49]

that in itself may be the cue that he needs to let this one go and get another GF who is willing to show him that she really cares about him and wants to be with him.

Exactly. She needs to put out where it counts most for the longer term.…
If she can’t, he travels.

 

[Epic Days]

No little boy your wrong. Nature survives from competition. Its a true story not whats in your head. Women don't check out. They are never certain. They follow. There only certain when the man is not wanted by other women. Jelousy is a powerful emotion as shown by your reply.

You are keeping him suspended in hope. That is a destructive act.
Ahhh. The ignore button. Sweetness.

 

[Barrister]

So to update you fellas - I backed way off this past week and a half or so. Wasn't reaching out really at all either by phone or text and never asked when we were going to meet up next. It has resulted in her going into a frenzy where she is now the one asking me what is wrong and constantly calling and texting throughout the day again. Also, she is now asking me to hang out/sleep over, has agreed to come down to my place when I told her I had to be here, and she wants to have a "getaway" for just the two of us soon. Still complains about how busy she is but her intimacy level is way back up. I have gotten a lot farther just ignoring her than I ever did trying to discuss anything with her.

Not sure where we will ultimately end up but I think I am going to keep being aloof. Works wonders.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Yes, it does work wonders, but you need to sustain it. Just throw her a little bone once in a while. You need to keep your distance.

She is terrified that the tables have turned on her, which is exactly where she needs to be.

She is not LTR material in my estimation, through. She seems to derive more satisfaction out of work than out of her relationship.

 

[guru1000]

Tbh I didn’t read this thread, too lazy. I just read the last few posts so if I’m off with the facts, oh well ...

If it’s a question of desire (lack of her desire thereof), no overt negotiation should take place.

You can’t negotiate (her) desire. Instead, you S & D her. This gives her space whereas either of two things will occur: 1) her desire will grow and she will reach out to him; or 2) her desire won’t grow and that will be the end.

Either way it’s a win win, and the most effective way to approach a girl with lower desire.

Remember fellas, desire grows in space, not in circulation.

 

[xplt]

Yes, it does work wonders, but you need to sustain it. Just throw her a little bone once in a while. You need to keep your distance.

She is terrified that the tables have turned on her, which is exactly where she needs to be.

She is not LTR material in my estimation, through. She seems to derive more satisfaction out of work than out of her relationship.

I broke off with my girlfriend of 4 and 1/2 years this year. She took me for granted over whole 2018, had sex every two weeks when it was nearly unbearable for me. Backing off and flirting like nothing happend didnt do anything. Only stating her that i cant live that way gave me sudden action every day. But then her anxiety kicked so hard, that she destroyed our entire relationship in just three months with daily arguments, insults and somedays physical violence against me. Constant searching reasons i don‘t love her anymore. When she got, what she wanted, i was the man, when i stood my ground, i was her worst enemy. I think she‘s kind of histrionic, but i can‘t help her anymore.

 

[AttackFormation]

Oh it can. Co worker last year. Ailing relationship. He got caught sexting another coworker and guess what. 2 weeks later tells me their having best sex of their life. Never say never in this world. Competition fuels life itself.

Some evolutionary hypotheses about females having sex with a male is that it serves to provide resources, security, and parental investment. Once she feels she has those things from him, there is no further need for her to have sex with him. I don't view humans only in those crass terms and I don't think the people behind those formal hypotheses do either, as people like having sex for its own sake, but it's something to keep in mind as it makes sense in these contexts (although I haven't been in a relationship yet myself). How do you keep the flame from dying in your own relationships in this way? And how do you know whether she's really going through something that lowers her sex drive but still desires you, or is just stringing you along?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Some evolutionary hypotheses about females having sex with a male is that it serves to provide resources, security and parental investment. Once she feels she has those things from him, there is no further need for her to have sex with him. I don't view humans only in those crass terms and I don't think the people behind those formal hypotheses do either, as people like having sex for its own sake, but it's something to keep in mind as it makes sense in these contexts (although I haven't been in a relationship yet myself). How do you keep the flame from dying in your own relationships? And how do you know whether she's really going through something that lowers her sex drive but still desires you, or is just stringing you along?

Thats why you keep having sex. She can choose to have sex. She doesnt always have to strongly desire it.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thats why you keep having sex. She can choose to have sex. She doesnt always have to strongly desire it.

I dunno dude, I would rather end it than "live" off of duty sex. Would rather be killed quickly and be a good looking corpse, than slowly rot away to a pathetic deformity of who I once was in an existence worse than death and then still die in the end.

If I had a girlfriend and she legitimately lost her desire for me, and I tried to have duty sex with her instead of ending it, I think she would be right to despise me. I would be putting a compulsion and complacency above my dignity and selfrespect. It's one thing to expect and accept the honeymoon period to end sometime and another to accept living like a serf.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I dunno dude, I would rather end it than "live" off of duty sex. Would rather be killed quickly and be a good looking corpse, than slowly rot away to a pathetic deformity of who I once was in an existence worse than death and then still die in the end.

If I had a girlfriend and she legitimately lost her desire for me, and I tried to have duty sex with her instead of ending it, I think she would be right to despise me. I would be putting a compulsion and complacency above my dignity and selfrespect. It's one thing to expect and accept the honeymoon period to end sometime and another to accept living like a serf.

Honeymoon period ends like it should. Instead of duty sex she feels zero desire. Starves you out for several years. She realizes she wants to feel heat and her blood racing again. It cant be you she views you almost like a brother. Some of your friends excite her and some of her co workers. Attempts to raise her interest are met quickly because she knows you want it. To her its laughable.

 

[AttackFormation]

Honeymoon period ends like it should. Instead of duty sex she feels zero desire. Starves you out for several years. She realizes she wants to feel heat and her blood racing again. It cant be you she views you almost like a brother. Some of your friends excite her and some of her co workers. Attempts to raise her interest are met quickly because she knows you want it. To her its laughable.

Hahahaha! "It cant be you she views you almost like a brother", lol!

Are you speaking out of experience by the way? is there any story about yourself or people you know you're sitting in on?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hahahaha! "It cant be you she views you almost like a brother", lol!

Are you speaking out of experience by the way? is there any story about yourself or people you know you're sitting in on?

I was in that situation before. Wont allow sexlessness ever again. A woman that cares will still fvck and desire to please.

 

[AttackFormation]

I was in that situation before. Wont allow sexlessness ever again. A woman that cares will still fvck and desire to please.

Did she stop having sex at all, or was she cheating or fantasizing about other men? Do you think the way you treated yourself and let her treat you contributed, or was the sex death inevitable because of the relationship itself or even because she had some problem?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Did she stop having sex at all, or was she cheating or fantasizing about other men? Do you think the way you treated yourself and let her treat you contributed, or was the sex death inevitable because of the relationship itself or even because she had some problem?

That person was power hungry and greedy. I couldve only slowed the inevitable.

 

[Focal core]

Been thinking about your post in particular. Do you believe it is possible to change this by giving her space and backing off as others have suggested or is this just going to be a constant cycle where I have to almost play a game to keep her invested 100% moving forward post-honeymoon? Seems somewhat pointless if it is the latter.

Sorry mate.. The game are pretty much over when she set her distancing behaviour theres nothing much you can do.. I say dump her now before she dump you, it's the highest demonstration of value a man can execute to women especially if she's hot. Say that you didn't like the way she treat you anymore and you don't deserved this kind of treatment she's giving you, the power will shift to you once you did this and increase the chances she will be returning back to your good grace.. past few month after the breakup youll find that you will not want her anymore even she throw herself i front of you, and I don't see any reason why you would want that girl anymore since you're single and has open on your options .. If you try to work this out this is for sure only for temporary before she will inevitably dump you and lost respect to you forever.

Recently I had once hb9 at the gym seducing me infront another boy who will follow her wherever she goes.. I say boy because this young man throw a satanic eye shen she approaching me and trying his best to get her attention back and blocking me from her view when obviously I did absolutely nothing.. I sense this and back off as I hate being triangulate. Now he's alone like a stupid ass chumps.

I am a popular guys, a lots of people know me even out of my workplace, girls intimidated by me, play hard to be Alpha gurl will easily shoot down by me, still I'm still single finding a quality women for me.

Do that to yourself.

 

[RickTheToad]

What do any of you do? And yes, I realize a lot of DJs prefer just to spin plates.

Do you pull away and try to recreate the tension of not knowing what the other person is thinking? Or just talk to them about what the problem is? I have attempted to talk to her multiple times and "work" and "being exhausted" are the excuses for the flatness. Gut feeling tells me it's more than that. In fairness - she is starting her own business but again just seems like it is more than that. Or am I being unfair? Thoughts?

I find it is best to show lower interest and that you can taker her or leave her. They tend to work harder to "get you". I also find the more I date or start seeing more ladies, I tend to care less if something builds or not. I feel bad about it, but it is what it is. I am still on my purpose and mission in life. I am sure there is a lot more for me to experience in my life.

 

[Epic Days]

The older I get, the more I deal with women, I realize society has fed us a lie.

That lie, is that you need to "talk it out"

Most of our teachings are a lie in North America. This one is definitely a lie. Unless just talking about normal life things and fun stuff.

There is a reason women opt to conversation. That’s how men are Manipulated the most.

In many cases it’s best to ghost them than to talk things out. After the conversation, your mind and body will be completely off kilter. Residual effects can last days. Everything from self doubt to just feeling that life is a waste of effort.

When this happens it’s imperative to get back into man state.

 

[Robert28]

Good to hear. The older I get, the more I deal with women, I realize society has fed us a lie.

That lie, is that you need to "talk it out"


I realize now that most talk is just wasted. Your ACTIONS are what works.

Does this imply of after you had a big fight with someone you’ve been dating? Like just say “the hell with it, she cussed me up one side and down the other for no reason and I never cussed her” and ghost.