In a heavy pickup environment, how do you get an attractive girl to listen to you?

[squirrels]

This is something I've noticed in bars, clubs, etc...this site and other sites are really good at detailing how to proceed with a woman once you have an audience, once you've "engaged her and she's engaged you back," as DD says. I seem to have some decent success with women once they're actually listening to you.

What I've observed, though, is that in the bars and clubs especially, attractive women (and not just the knock-outs, but even 7s and 8s) get hit on by so many guys that it doesn't matter WHAT kind of values you elicit/express, how ****y and funny you are, how masculine and kinesthetic you try to be, the bottom line is that this girl is JUST NOT LISTENING.

Sure you think of yourself as someone who has a unique experience to offer this woman, but she gets approached by fifty guys a night, all believing the same thing, many of them just as attractive, and she says to herself, "another guy, NEXT!" before you even get within earshot. All the patterns and kino and crap becomes useless when a woman has decided you're not worth listening to before you even SAY anything. Sure she'll acknowledge your presence, maybe say something to you and throw that big smile your way, but she's not listening to you any more than she was listening to the last three guys. And a lot of these guys are chumps, but there are some that are alpha-male material.

So when you approach these women, what do you do stand out, to get her to say to herself, "I've had all these hot men come up to me and try to talk to me and I smile and laugh but I pretty much ignore them, but THIS one is different, THIS one I should pay attention to."

I posted a similar thread about a week or two ago, asking about how to approach women that seem unapproachable and I got (surprise) ZERO answers.

It's sh!t like this that makes me want to give up on women entirely because it's just NO FUN when you try to chat up some young hottie and you suddenly come to the realization that she's not even listening to you...she's just vibing with the atmosphere and turning every guy away before he even makes a MOVE. Women seem to be responsive to socialization/seduction as cinder blocks. And no, it's not how I look...I definitely look decent.

So any of you who actually have success with women, especially the "PUAs" who claim to be able to get "any woman, anywhere, anytime", when a woman just has guys bouncing off her from all angles and, despite her wanting a man (as we know all women do), she's determined to ignore or NEXT all of them before they even approach her, how do you interrupt her consciousness and actually get her to acknowledge you as someone she should actually pay attention to?

 

[Mr. Fingers]

In these environments, you have to project your voice above the chaos. You are almost shouting but it still sounds like you are talking. It also helps to have something interesting to say!

Keep in mind that if you turn your back for five minutes, some other player can swoop down and take over your set... So be more direct, deal with you target and dont worry about befriending the c0ckblocks, ignore them all and suck her into your reality!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Mr. Fingers
In these environments, you have to project your voice above the chaos. You are almost shouting but it still sounds like you are talking. It also helps to have something interesting to say!

Keep in mind that if you turn your back for five minutes, some other player can swoop down and take over your set... So be more direct, deal with you target and dont worry about befriending the c0ckblocks, ignore them all and suck her into your reality!

Right, this all makes sense, but the problem is I feel like I've already been NEXTed before I open my mouth to speak, like I suppose I expect her to be like, "Let's see what this one has to say", but what I get is, "I'm so wonderful, I already know you want me, but you're just another guy so I'm going to smile and ignore you."

I mean, I understand WHY she does it, because she can't give a slice of attention to EVERY guy that hits on her, but at the same time it feels like as a result of everyone hitting on her, she shuts out EVERYONE and NEVER hooks up with anyone! Call it "b!tch shield," but it's not really b!tchy per se...she'll smile and laugh with you, but she's not really paying attention to anything you say or do because she's seen and heard it all, probably in the last 15 minutes, and she just shuts off her attention and it's like throwing words at a brick wall that looks cute and smiles a lot.

That's the feeling I get. Maybe it's my fault, somehow, but should you EXPECT to go through this "I'm not listening to you or anyone else" phase with ANY hot girl? And is there a generally good way to break through that? Because I just don't know one. It's all been success with timing for me, sometimes I manage to come up on a girl right when her attention is vulnerable and I catch her at that point. And if you stay in a jumpin' club long enough this will happen with SOMEONE, but what about the other ones, the ones you REALLY wanted?

 

[Mr. Fingers]

She is not the probem. It is your fault for projecting your insecurities on her. Sure she has to screen guys out, but what is it that convinces you that you are "just another guy"? You are fukkin SQUIRRELS man! B!tches go NUTS over you, remember?

If you truly believe that you have nothing unique to offer, then there is a pretty good chance she will feel this way as well!

In the future, if she is giving you the smiling brickwall treatment, bust her on it. Tell her she has a funny smile, or mirror her body language in an exaggerated fashion so she can't help but laugh at herself. Make HER the self-conscious one, instead of you. Just have fun and stop letting negative thoughts sabotage your game.

Hot or not, she is just a GIRL!

 

[Don_Marko]

Read Mystery's archive on ASF

 

[SealTeamSix]

You know .. I do not know how often a girl may get hit a given night at a club. But I am thinking not too often. DJs are in rare population I think, if not .. we would not be having this kind of site teaching AFCs how to be DJ ..

With my own experience, girls rarly get approached by males. Cuz average males are just too scared. When I approach girls, girls some girls actually giggle so hard out of suprise (I think ..)

I suggest don't think too hard .. just go talk .. if she digs u .. she will, otherwise move on ..

 

[AMF]

Squirrels,

I feel you. You want to be different, but how? But the answer is simple - be different!

1) Look different.

Look Better. Dress Better. Have better hair. Wear more extreme clothes. Wear jewellery. Hell, wear a gold catsuit and eyeshadow. Whatever, just stand out.

2) Act different.

The problem is: by approaching at all, you play your cards straight out. You like her, else why did you approach her? So, try whispering something in her ear, then walking off. Pref. something funny, interesting or seductive. Or alternatively, get EC and smile in a cheeky or "seductive" fashion. Then LEAVE. Either way, when you see her again - and you will - its like you two already "met." Repeat if necessary. Build the intrigue level and the IL will follow. Congratulations. YOU are now different to every A55hole who approached her tonight. You will definitely stick in her memory.

 

[Player_Supreme]

You do the "take away", that means you move her ass to another location..ie the back of the club...outside...to another bar...your place...

"Let's go over here so we can talk a little easier" then grab her hand and lead her away.

Men lead women follow. It's as old as fawking.

Secondly, you shouldn't be doing all of the talking can you say





BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should be getting into HER head and life story...not blathering on and on about YOU!

That is how you get a womans undivided attention. Make it seem like it's about HER!!!

I don't know if you have read the bible or not cause alot of cats just come here and start posting and whinning without knowing a got da*m thing about picking women up, but you should know about open ended questions*

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Hey Squirrels, I feel ya. It's discouraging when girls don't react positively at first. I tend to start laughing at them and giving some hardcore negs, which just seems to reinforce their attitudes. I think I do that because it still phazes me (pisses me off) when they act this way. Fingers is right.

Maybe both of us still care too much about girls' reactions. Anyhow, I've read articles on mASF that talk about getting cold responses at first and then the girl warms up after 5 or 10 minutes (Like Maniac's tales of Mr. Smooth). My point is that maybe not being phazed by her initial coldness is key. On the other hand, I've personally experienced girls leaving me as I'm talking to them. So much for persistence!

But then, AMF has a point about acting outlandish to keep their attention. I was acting all outrageous and high energy at the bar last night and kept the attention of a couple girls who usually give me an indifferent response. The dudes who were trying to game them stopped and just watched me interact with both of them. I asked them silly stuff like what animals they would be if they could be one. When they asked me the same question I told them I'd be a wildebeast, how I'd kick their animal's azz, and I started butting them like crazy. LOL! I didn't get laid because I decided not to persist for various reasons but they acted a lot more interested in me than before.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

To get a woman's attention at a club I usually do the "Moon-walk" pass her table while I sing “Beat it” by Michael Jackson and then I breakout in the "Robot' dance making swift jerky motions with my arms and legs. If these theatrics doesn't get her attention I'll 'Break-dance' and 'Pop' for a few minutes and then lastly I'll spin on my head and finish up on my back with a grandiose gesture with my arms spread out to their widest and staring at her as if to ask "What did you think of my performance"!!!

The only drawback to this method is that I'm usually out of breath and unable to speak in a coherent manner, also I am drenched in sweat and reek of body odor!!

So yes, my dramatic actions get her attention but then I’m too sweaty and exhausted to approach the girl!

 

[sandinista]

PuertoRican_Lover has the right idea!

When in the club I sometimes approach the bar walking on my hands, & start kicking my legs wildly in the air while making squeking noises. The bartenders think I'm really funny so serve me straight away. The girls see this & realise how Alpha i am.

Another thing i do is, when i see a group of girls i'm interested in, instead of just walking over there like everyone else, I add my own style to it. Sometimes i hop on one leg, sometimes i spin round & round while walking over there, sometimes i'll even do my comedy Hitler walk! Girls won't fail to notice you & are interested in finding out more about you.

Also, when talking to her, if I think she's not listening, I jump up on the table & start tap dancing. I'll even do a crazy swing with my arms. Girls see that you're not like anyone else. You've got confindence & are a very funny guy. She'll most likely want to take you home with her as soon as possible after that, so you don't have to worry about talking anymore.

These techniques have NEVER failed me!
Try them out for yourself.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Sandinista and Dementia are on track - we should hang out together and go clubbing and see who gets the most attention/approval from 'Hot-babes. We''ll all do our 'acts' together - this would be a dandy sight to see!!

I also want to mention my other 'attention grabber'... I put my tongue under my lower lip so that my lip protrudes exaggeratedly outw@rds and then I put both of my hands up in the air and lower my body about 18 inches and then move my upper torso in a side-to-side swaying motion and make 'monkey' noises!! HO hoo hoo hoo HOOO HOO HOOO HOOOO - saying HOOOO louder and louder as if I'm getting increasingly agitated!!

And then as a finale I do a monkey back flip and land on one knee and finish with my arms spread outw@rd to their widest extension and then I stare at her looking for her approval with a look on my face as if I’m saying, “What do you think of my performance”. I end all my performances with this universal gesture that seeks applause and approval!!

 

[AlwaysExcel]

I detect some sarcasm here. I'm not advocating wearing yourself out jumping up and down saying "Look at me! Look at me!" What I AM advocating is getting in the party mode and having fun by embracing the ridiculous and PLAYING. When people go out to bars and clubs they want to have FUN and PLAY, not have some deep and serious conversation with a stranger. If you can't feel the party vibe, then don't go to bars and clubs to meet women. PRL and Sandinista's descriptions sound pretty fun if you're really into acting silly and not giving a fvck. But as it's been said on here many times, it's not all about putting on a show for the ladies--YOU have to be having fun at the same time.

But anyway, PRL what are YOUR genuine suggestions for Squirrels? What's your style when addressing this particular problem?

 

[PeeGee]

This forum has sunk to a new low

 

[Ever onward]

I posted a similar thread about a week or two ago, asking about how to approach women that seem unapproachable and I got (surprise) ZERO answers.

Hey man, I responded to your post. I had no advice to give you but I gave you my opinion.

You're right though, seems like most of great DJ's don't post here anymore.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
IBut anyway, PRL what are YOUR genuine suggestions for Squirrels? What's your style when addressing this particular problem?

OK OK joking aside.

First give her eye contact - not glaringly but just enough to let her know that she is on your radar! See how she responds to your glances (you must be in her line of sight).

I always ask them to dance (not grind) - if she readily says 'yes' then I take this as very positive and before I let her go of my grasp I say "I see you have your friends with you, I don't want to take you away from them - how about giving me your number and we can plan to meet again".

If she says "No" then put her in a 'headlock' and squeeze her head until her brains spill out of her skull - expect a mess!!!

OR, the most preferable option...

Bow gracefully and say "I shall move on to my next victim" - say this with a smile!


If she doesn't like the song she may tell you to ask her again on a 'better' song - she'll say this if she really likes you to let you know she is interested in your approach.


Another thing you can do is say this before you leave the club "I have to go but I don't want to leave this place without at least acknowledging your presence - I probably won't ever see you again so would it be terribly impolite for a stranger to ask for your number".

You'll get a direct yea or nay right away. You want to do these direct/quick approaches because you cannot talk coherently in a loud club and you are not acting desperate or wasting your time competing in a shouting match with other dudes vying for her attention!!

This takes balls - but women see this as confidence and may reward you handsomely!

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Hey sorry Squirrels! I just realized that you weren't talking about cold responses but just a lack of real interest. A subtle but important nuance!

I think my example still applies but for different reasons than I orginally thought. I busted in on the girls' little orderly world and shook things up. I literally "moved them" with the head butting and all! What guy has ever done that in bar? When have they ever been playfully butted off their barstools? I was different AND I made their world different, out of the ordinary, interesting.

Techniques such as playing hard to get, neg hits, and C&F seem to have a bit of this in that they change things up by flipping the relationship. Teasing the girl instead of complimenting her. Accusing her of being horny and chasing you instead of the other way around. Actually getting her to chase you instead of you chasing her. If you can make her think "whoa, this is different, what the hell's going on here?" you've created interest.

I remember reading an interview of Swinggcat on Thundercat's old site where he was talking about actually going up to girls and saying, "I hate you!....No wait, I don't hate you....I REALLY hate you!" Swinggcat's argument was that it stimulated interest because no one wants to be hated. The comment shocked her and busted her out of the orderly world she expects. She would start questioning him about why he hated her so it got her actively engaged in his world. As far as I understood it, Swinggcat's point was that in seduction you have to start from a point of interest, so any interest is better than no interest.

Telling a girl you hate her is an extreme method of creating interest that I have not tried! LOL! But interest seems to be stimulated by being different and rare AND putting them in a different rare place. Maybe the key to breaking up their routine of being approached is to interupt their orderly little worlds in whatever extreme ways it takes. Try turning up your personal earthquake if C&F and neg hits aren't phasing them.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Thanks for the response PRL!

I'm curious though. How does EC and asking her to dance overcome the pleasant indifference of girls who are used to being approached by attractive dudes in clubs and are not phased by it?

They get EC with all sorts of guys and aren't necessarily seeking it out. In fact, I'm dead sexy and I hardly ever get EC in clubs unless I wear extremely wild clothes or singlehandely show the dance floor what's REALLY going on! LOL!
Of course, there are methods to force eye contact....

Also, these girls get asked to dance a lot. So what motivates them to dance with you when they could dance with a dozen equally attractive and skillful dancers? I admit that in the right clubs, like Salsa and Swing clubs, they're more eager to dance and the dancing is a good way to change their world up and actively engage them. But in a regular club, everyone wants to grind with the attractive women. So how do you stand out?

 

[Le Parisien]

I feel you squirrels, but I'm only gonna tell you what you already know, maybe you just need to hear it from other people: IT'S ALL ABOUT SUPPLY & DEMAND.

It's just like everybody likes to go to nice places (tourist attractions basically) for vacations, so as a consequence, the prices are jacked up big time for everything. 150$, 200$ hotels for example. You can tell yourself "damn it's 10 times cheaper at home" all you want, YOU made the decision to come, YOU decided to go on vacations because it's FUN.
You feel frustrated because it's "not fair" and you think that "you deserve better than this". But whining is useless, so you have 5 solutions:
1) Become 100 times richer in a very short period of time so you won't care anymore, but it's NOT gonna happen unless you win the lottery.
2) Find special offers on popular destinations. But they are few far and between, and they are sold out VERY quickly once they become available. So unless you are very lucky, it's scrwed...
3) Find attractions that are just as FUN, but few people know about. But enjoy when you still can, because if it's REALLY that fun, other people will find out very quickly too. And it won't be long before it becomes just another popular attraction with all the jacked up prices.
4) Settle for less fun destinations, they are not that enjoyable, but they are cheap and more convenient(hopefully).
5) JUST STAY HOME and watch TV, it's VERY cheap and hassle free this way.

I guess you guys are smart enough to figure out ALL the analogies here. But still if you have any questions, please go ahead.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

EC + bodylanguage is all you need!

With the right attitude and confidence not to mention projection it will be enough to pull her to the floor and get her so horny she will love you well not love but really like you.