Stop trying to fit into the wrong social group.
There is no such thing as bad social skills. There is only being around the wrong people.
My social skills are great in the white collar city. But put me in the ghetto and my social skills are crap.
Lol, the fk dude? I'm amazed at how much your entire sense of being revolves around this white collar lifestyle you've recently acquired. Women, confidence, happiness, etc. Again, I'm asking you what happens if it disappears overnight. "Smart" people get blindsided by life, too.
@OP
Being good at socializing with others is absolutely a skill that can be learned and utilized with all different types of people. However, for someone in your position, the only way to start is through brute force effort. You literally need to start making an effort to have conversations with everyone - men, women, old people, young people, etc. Just TALK to other people. Talk them about anything and everything. The KEY is being able to do this comfortably as opposed to having the right thing to say. A sh*t ton of communication is non verbal. The number one reason a-lot of guys who are socially awkward that come to this site strike out in social settings is because they are too worried about what they are saying as opposed to being focused on BEING COMFORTABLE interacting with other human beings. That's all there is to it. However, in order to be comfortable with something, you need to throw yourself into it. Just learn how to "be" in that uncomfortableness and you'll find, after a while, it feels more natural and comfortable. Human interaction isn't something that should be foreign or hard for you to take part in.
Every time I say something so someone you can hear and feel the subtone of "please like me".
Like when I ask a colleague "how was your day", etc,... I'm basically just asking them that if they like me and if they would like me more.
It's horrible, it actually has a complete reverse effect because I start to talk even less and yeah we all know nice guys finish last.
EVERYTHING you said right here is how you are perceiving it. You literally have no idea if that's how you're truly coming across to people. You are so stuck inside your own head and wanting to make the perfect impression with everything that you are sabotaging yourself before you even get out of the gate. Another huge problem with folks who have trouble in social settings is that they do not PERSIST. KEEP talking to the person. Don't give up after they've said hello to you. Find out who they came to the party with. Find out what department the guy you're talking to works in. Find out what he did the previous weekend. Find out what his thoughts are on the new company dress code. KEEP talking to him. That's how you become comfortable interacting with others. Again, it has very little to do with what you're actually saying.
Here's a trick: Instead of focusing on yourself, actually listen to what other people are saying about themselves when you ask them questions. People will give you all the ammunition you need to have a meaningful, rewarding interaction with them if you simply listen to what they are saying. Also, make it a goal for yourself to add some humanization to the interaction. See below:
"How was your day?"
"Good, yours?"
"Yeah, my day was fine.
Any plans this weekend?" <------keep the convo going
"No, just catching up on my sleep"
"Oh yeah?
Long week huh?" <----i.e. he's tired, he's done something recently that's made him tired. Ask him about that. Again, keep the convo going.
"No, I went camping last week with my brother and his girlfriend and her family and didn't get much sleep."
"Nice,
where'd you go camping at?" <------keep the convo going
"Bear mountain. It's about 35 miles outside of town"
"Really? I didn't know we had any parks that close to the city.
Was it your first time going? <-------keep the convo going
"Yeah, it's actually a really nice place. I had never been there before but it was a good time"
"
Do you go camping a-lot?" <----------keep the convo going.
Etc.
Again, keep the convo going. People always enjoy talking about themselves. The key, again, is to get comfortable starting and maintaining these types of conversations with lots of different people. Learn how to be comfortable in the moment doing this as opposed to what you're actually saying. Being comfortable DOING THE THING as opposed to being worried if you're doing the thing WELL ENOUGH.
