I'm very cynical now and full of hate.

[Al Moh.]

Guys, blaming some higher power really isn't going to help. The principle of this website is after all that you CAN change yourself, that you CAN forge your own destiny.

To the OP: I think you are looking at the whole problem too much in terms of black and white. If you had all those qualitys, why wouldn't you get women then?

It's the simple things that hold the most power when executed correctly. Becoming a Don Juan is not about adopting the whole mindset and qualitys at once but rather an experiementation with a certain techniques, for example drastically increased eye contact, then getting back the results and once at ease with this concept moving on to the next step.

That is why I can't believe you've got a lot of so called "game" when in fact you can't get women. You say that you developed your game over a period of time. The thing is, while developing it you should slowly experience more success with women. You didn't which means you did something wrong. Forget about all those DJ philosophies. Take a break and just BE. Stop thinking about how a DJ should act.

Yes, that's right, back to square one. And then take one thing, like EC and apply while not chaging anything else. You will become a little more successful. If you do it right. If not, keep trying.


And once again: There is only one person who can curse your life. It's you.

 

[edger]

If your game is quite up there and you are everything you say you are, you should be getting laid every night.

Yeah, exactly, that's how it should be, I should be getting laid maybe not every night(that's impossible), but a lot..pretty much whenever I establish rapport with a chick...but I'm not, so there has to be something else at work here. Believe me dude, I wish I could say "I" am the problem here, that I'm lacking in some area of my game. You don't know how bad I wanna find MYSELF as the problem here. Like I said, I've taken a clear look at myself under intense scrutiny...that was the FIRST thing I did before I arrived at the conclusion I'm currently at(that it's not in my deck of cards). The first thing I said to myself was exactly the same thing you're saying(because afterall, I am a man of reasoning): "There's gotta be something in my game that's lacking, there HAS to be, it has to be me". Believe me, I scrutinize pretty hardcore..my dad always tells me I'm too analytical. The way that I scrutinize things, I should've been able to come up with something that points at me. Now again, I'm not saying my game is 100% on target, but it's defintely easily in the 90th percentile when I start talking to a chick. Dude, I have AFC aqaintances that get laid by hotties more than I do!..hahaha. How funny is that sh*t!? AFC's! If THEY'RE getting laid at the rate they're getting laid at, then I sure as hell should be doing just as good, and even better! I don't even come close to acting like an AFC anymore. I've shed that trait a long time ago. And to add to the mystery, I am an above avg. looking guy..not the greatest looking, not a Brad Pitt, but defintely somebody you'd look at and say, "He's a good-looking guy". But am I surprised that my looks haven't helped? No, because I know they mean sh*t to most hot women.

 

[edger]

Blaming failures on a higher power excuses us from making necessary changes. If you're not succeeding, you're still doing something wrong. Our job is to help you identify that something and eliminate it. But we can't do that unless we get a more rational post. It's fine to vent...now take a deep breath and try to explain.

Trust me, your sex life is not preordained.

The OP sounds like he's technically gone through the motions, but there is something missing. I have a hard time believing this anger just came out of nowhere - it sounds like it's been festering a long time. THAT is probably the common denominator.

Sam, with all due respect, you're a bit close-minded. In this discussion, you're only seing things in black and white. I agree 100% that some circumstances in life we can change, our life paths CAN be altered, BUT, to a degree. But after you've tried dilligently under careful scrutiny and observation to figure out a problem, and you can't find it, after you've ruled EVERYTHING else out, you start wondering a little. The next and only other explanation you could come up with is something that is out of your control, a higher power. FATE. We're not as "in control" as you think we are.

 

[Connect4]

I must say I was inspired by this post like no other that I have read on this forum in a long time. Its not even about God or a "higher power", its just "the way it is" sometimes. Its just life, its just the truth. I myself am in the SAME exact boat as you. I have built up solid game over the years, enhanced my looks to the point where I am confident about myself when I go out, but for whatever reason, I've just never been very successful with women. I am now 24 years old and have never had a serious girlfriend. Is that bad? No. I may just fall into that category of guys who marry the first girl who shows them any real interest, but make no mistake, I will NOT settle for less, i made that decision a long time ago.

Its a very difficult game out there these days it seems, especially here in NY. I have matured a lot over the last year, up to the point where I am finally finished for settling for less (this includes getting a$$ from fat girls, or girls I just know im not really interesting in) Its time to buckle down though in my case, as I dont want 3 years to fly by and still be in this same situation. I do meet girls here and there, but a lot tend to fall into that "not for me" category. I dont want to waste my time anymore but if its my destiny to get married at 35 then i guess i'll have to accept it.

Or maybe i'll just never find anyone at all...

Don't settle and keep working on your character you'll find her.. gotta believe mann

 

[KarmaSutra]

Hate will kill you faster than a bullet.

Acceptance is the only way to deal with change.

Confront those issues which have you burdened and find strength in the knowledge you gain in conquering those fears.

 

[The_last_Gunslinger]

Every once in awhile I will stop by this site and give a quick scan of the community.

Its post like these that generally draw my attention since I have been there before. Every time I read posts like this I consider the OPs age. Since I cannot asses yours Nonameok I'm going to assume your youngish. I'm 34 so with age and failure comes wisdom and patience.

Heres the deal partner.....your going to need to hit rock bottom before you can begin to climb back up again. You say your in shape with a job and all the "things" you believe the women your after look for. What you do not have can only come with more failure and a deep introspective. The kind of introspective that keeps you in bed over the weekends, the kind that drains your physical energy because your brain is working at light speed.

Your description of your inner anger is not close to rock bottom. Your still fighting something inside of yourself that you cannot or will not address. This is hard to ascertain as a few paragraph post can hardly describe any base human emotion. Its time to draw within brother. You must learn to be happy with yourself, in doing so and truly knowing and feeling it...then women will be a casual thought, not the forefront of your mind. This is a good percentage of the transition. Stop thinking about women all the time. They can smell the desperation. At the same time your anger subconsciously commands your body language, which all humans use to identify friend or foe even if were not aware were consciously exercising this trait passed down by our animal ancestors. (yes I'm taking the scientific rather than the spiritual approach, never use an unproven to measure your successes or failures, its lazy and does not address base needs for owning up to yourself and your actions).

You might think your confident, you might think you have it all together, you might think your the prize. But if your doing all of this for the sake of a kiss and a ****, then your going to lose every single ****ing time. You will not find fulfillment and worse; as you age you will not have the emotional and maturity level needed to find a QUALITY woman.

As with many of us Americans raised in the X and Y generations we were trained on "instant gratification". If there is one thing that is not instant its maturity and being able to use it to convince others of your skills and capabilities without coming off as conceded and self important.

Try impressing women with your humor instead of your paycheck or job title. Use kindness and smiles to melt the girls instead of promises of objects that anyone can supply. Find a passion in your life that can distract you from obsessing over *****es.

Of course all this comes AFTER you close your doors, settle in and take a deep hard look at yourself and the people you surround yourself with. Look at the things you did in life for the attention of women instead of bettering yourself. Consider that some of these things you've done are really not whats in your best interest after all. Then take inventory, reconsolidate the good things and drop the bad things...that can mean toxic friends, naysayers, demoralizers and your own caustic attitude.

I say these things to you man because someone had to tell them to me. Your anger will kill you, it will shut down opportunities not only with women but anything you do. Then it will become a self destructive cycle of more anger. Another good idea is to find a way to vent that anger in a healthy way. When I went through my transition it was my trusty punching bag, now soft and sunk in with all my rage and tension. It served its purpose and when I look at it now I think to myself "glad its the bag that took the beating and not me".

Live your life for yourself, not for the approval or attention of others. This lesson comes late in life for some but it must be something you accept without alternative motives. Good luck Nonameok, your journey will not be quick or easy, but its one you desperately need.

 

[Groovy]

Bahaha, I see where you're coming from!!

"Damn... I aint getting no girls no matter how good I am, so I may just have my fun AND I'll learn something too!"

You don't NEED girls... Screw that! You have a good mindset so far- I'll do things MY way, for ME! That's cool. Then you have dominance! Also nice... Now you need self esteem! You'd be unstopabble. You wouldn't be angry, you're even genuine so you don't have to fake anything...

But I don't think it would work this way. Two more days MAX and you've had enough of this, and I doubt you're gonna go something "evil" anyway...

SPEND you anger energy in accomplishing more goals that will raise your self esteem! You could channel it all in the gym, ALL girls like guys with good bodies amirite?

I dunno how else to help you, but I do expect you'll join the "top dogs" and have a story to tell, how you went from zero to hero, the kind of story EVERYONE would remember and want to hear one day... Spend that energy accomplishing goals! I'd say you're not in a totally bad track, considering you're SOOO UPSET at this, you'd want to change it right? Step back, THINK, do the mature thing, and go try some more chicks or hit the gym!

Remember you CHOOSE you're worth more then the fat chicks. Plus you have more knowledge then most guys... Girls are going to have a good time with you as long as you fix yourself up, the mature, patient way.

 

[Interceptor]

The anger, rage, and cynicsm are all manifestation of the frustration of your ego not getting validated.

It's true.

It is that dark part of us, the narcissistic ego that wants to take and take, and not give.

If you had plenty to give, you would share.
It's when we feel empty inside that we go into an irritable, survival mode, and want others to fill us up, yet we give nothing in return.

You may not understand this, a lot of you may not get this truly, but this is perhaps the most important lesson you may ever have to learn.


When you live by taking, it will not last.

When you live only by giving away... it still will not last.

When you give, and receive, you will be able to sustain the kind of life you want.

Your sex life is not preordained or controlled by God.
God has not made a conscious decision to stop you from being attractive to women.

Becoming a Man is a learned skill.
It is not the same as being born Male.

Can you see the subtle difference?

What are women attracted to?

A masculine, mature, MAN.

In other words, the true lasting success, a success that will last you a lifetime, and always be there, is to look to the future, and work on yourSELF.

You need to ask yourself some very tough, and ugly questions.

You have to admit certain aspects and traits, and behaviors and are repulsing women, and repulsing life success.

This is really crucial.

You are also demonizing yourself because you are comparing yourself to others.
You are assuming that everyone has the same exact life circumstances, viewpoints, perception filters, skills, etc etc....

Thus, you beat yourself up for not living up to someone else's standards.



If you are not happy , have a least some joy in your life, some inspiration and passion, and ambition completely outside and removed from women you CANNOT deeply attract women. And you WILL NOT INTEREST women at all.
Meaning, they may get curious about you, but once they find out 'who' you are, and how you live your life, they WILL BAIL.
I'm sorry. You know me, I dont like to make conclusions, and there is no universal truth, but...damn....trust me on this one. They get a sense of your incongruence and weaknesses, and your inability to deal with hard circumstances and decisions and they are gone.They may be attracted, but you cannot hold their interest.

If you have no spark, no passion, no connection to your masculine instincts.
Reek of desperation, embittered, and blame, full of self hate and hate for others who have nothing against you, you CANNOT ATTRACT things that give you joy, fulfillment , and happiness.

Life doesnt work that way.
I mean, I know you're young and all, but I'm sorry, take it from somone who knows, LIFE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.

You CANNOT Attract women when you are exhuding REPULSIVE thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, body language, and are 'vibrating in that 'frequency' so to speak.
You're on the wrong channel!!!

Women are looking for men who are on that channel.



Women have an underlying way of sensing a man's strength, sexuality, and sensuality. They sense his beleif in himself, and his confidence. They look you over and ask you questions about this to find about the REAL you.
If You lack these, you dont even appear on their radar.

Let me ask you...

Say you're walking down the street and some very unattractive woman, with a very unattractive body, wearing very unattractive clothes, demonstrating unattractive body language...
..you see her...


Are you getting a hard on ready to jump on her bones??? I bet you cant wait to get all up in her, right?

NO?

Well, why not??

You're not attracted to her. And its ok.
BUT.....
How would you feel if she got all up in your face hating on you because you arent giving her the attention she demands, and is entitled to???

You should give it to her, you know?
You shouldnt be rude.
In fact, the RIGHT thing to do is to propose right then and there!!
Yes, its true. Marry her and take her home.
Why?
Because she demands it from you and is entitled to it from you.


Right??


No.
No, it's not right.
It's insane.

To be angry at a woman because that particular woman doesnt find you attractive is delusional.
So hopefully you can see just how far off your thinking about this is.
Its way off.
Makes no sense whatsoever.
Women are biologically programmed to respond to several key traits.
Just like you are biologically wired to repsond to women in a typical manner.
You would feel judged unfairly if someone blamed you for not being attracted to a particular woman you just dont feel anything for.
And vice versa.....

Dont blame women for their bilogical wiring.

Instead look at yourself and your own beliefs and behaviors, about life, women, dating, romance, sex, etc...
Investigate WHY you feel these things.
And also, be ready to let go of crazy, illusions that youve made up in your head that have no real basis.

And finally, the people who have the most joy and success, and feel fulfilled, are the ones who are DOING what makes them happy, and simply ACKNOWLEDGE the things they LIKE. They dont focus on the negative, they focus on the positive.

When you do that, you create a momentum of feel good energy.
And what happens when you feel good, and feel good about what youre doing, and your life, and who you are???

Do you need me to answer?


The people who have had the MOST success are the ones who dont whine , b*tch, and moan, and focus on how BAD everything is.
They focus on solutions and the GOOD things. And well, guess what???
THEY GET MORE GOOD THINGS IN THEIR LIFE.



Start living by your own standards.
And stop trying to gratify your narcissistic ego.
Stop trying to compare yourself to others' success.
And stop beating yourself up.
When you do that, you dont love and accept yourself.
And when you DONT Love and Accept yourSELF...the PEOPLE around you KNOW and FEEL it. AND THEY STAY AWAY FROM YOU.
If you cant be good to yourself, you cant be good to others.

And no high self esteem, classy, self respecting lady is going to want to be around a man who hates himself, is cynical and hates everything around him, blames everyone and does nothing to change his situation.


So I'll finish now with something else.
Women want a Man.

Research what A MAN IS.

What is a REAL MAN to YOU?
WHY do women search and long for and will not leave a REAL MAN?

And WHY is it that the guys , who may not be particularly good looking or rich, who are CONNECTED to their MASCULINE INSTINCTS have no problem with getting female attention?

Just what are Masculine Instincts then?????

Have you thought about that?

Women dont give a fvcking sh*t about the 'cube', or a neg, or C and F, or the "cyclone", or creepy NLP bull sh*t....

No, they dont.

NO. They dont. OK?
That sh*t is garbage.
It is not real. And whatever measly results it gives you, it CANNOT replace BEING a rock solid, steady, congruent, masculine,mature, sexual and sensual, confident man who is self assured, and has plenty to share with people.....
And he doesnt care about 'what do I say?"

What you do need to be is self aware, aware or your environment, socially aware and well adjusted, and be able to connect confidently with strong eye contact with people. BE able to start and hold a conversaton.
And be able to withstand the social pressure that sometimes arises in socially mixed circumstances.
Be the leader, and know what you want.
If you know what you want, you make everyone's life easier.
Dont be controlling.
Dont be domineering.
Dont try to 'steal the spotlight'.
And dont try to cut people down to bring yourself 'up'.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, and KNOW WHERE YOU WANT TO BE.
All that stuff is what every male should, if they truly want what IS beneficial to them, working on. All the time. THAT is the 'stuff' that father, mentors, and grandparents SHOULD have been teaching us since we were little...
...but they didnt. So we have to teach ourselves now.
We have to teach ourselves WHAT is a Man, and HOW to BE a Man.


Think about that for a while....

 

[DonGorgon]

=D three choices

1. die
2. distract yourself from the fact that your gonna die anyway
3. Find jesus, except "Jesus doesn't exist" so we're back to square one which would probably be .... die. =D

^^This touched me very deeply...
As it is a perfect example of the extent to which human insensitivity in social issues has escalated due to capitalism , excessive competition and desperation.... This attitude is the pervasive attitude and the reason LTRs and marriages no longer work... Humans hate each other and feel that death is the best option for most other humans..

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL..

 

[edger]

Your sex life is not preordained or controlled by God.
God has not made a conscious decision to stop you from being attractive to women.

Ok, then answer my question please, and really think about what I'm asking you. What explains guys who have analyzed everything they possibly can about themselves under intense scrutiny, but still come up empty-handed and can't find themselves as the problem? What else can it be, if all else is ruled out? It's like travelling on a road that has a dead end...where else can you go if there's a dead end in front of you? Remember, these guys have read this site, internalized it, have developed pretty solid game(better than most guys will ever have in their lifetimes), etc. etc. etc. Yet to make things even more interesting, AFC's get more play than these guys. So what else do you think could be happening here? I'm asking you an honest question.

 

[Interceptor]

Perhaps they may have solid 'game' but maybe they're not solid Men.

And my personal opinion is that if one is self fulfilled, one won't really be concerned with anyone getting any 'play' or getting 'more play' than one.

One thing for sure, unless one is a priest and taken a vow of celibacy, GOD has, and never will have anything to do with you or anyone else being unattractive to women, or not getting 'play'.

Finally, analyzing what one's problem is is only the first step to solving it.
The next step is actually DOING something about it.

 

[DonJuan11]

Ok, then answer my question please, and really think about what I'm asking you. What explains guys who have analyzed everything they possibly can about themselves under intense scrutiny, but still come up empty-handed and can't find themselves as the problem? What else can it be, if all else is ruled out? It's like travelling on a road that has a dead end...where else can you go if there's a dead end in front of you? Remember, these guys have read this site, internalized it, have developed pretty solid game(better than most guys will ever have in their lifetimes), etc. etc. etc. Yet to make things even more interesting, AFC's get more play than these guys. So what else do you think could be happening here? I'm asking you an honest question.

Again, we've been over this a few times. You can be 110% of an ideal man: 6'1, rich, handsome, successful, dress well, have alot of friends, sense of humor, thrill seeker, polite, and her parents love you. But if you don't get to her emotions and feelings, if you don't excite her, if you don't make her happy to see you, the AFC will get the sex from her before you ever will. You can't get upset at the AFC who is sleeping with the hot girl; that is between him and the girl. Whatever he does being the AFC, he's exciting her enough for her to take off her clothes. He's getting to her feelings so she lets him inside her. He may not have the body, he may not be funny, he may have no money, but he knows how to get to her EMOTIONS and FEELINGS.

You keep going back to being analytical which does not work with girls (I've done everything, they should come to me!) This is not math class, it's not science class, it's not physics class. This is English class. You have come up with a plan (game) in order to get to her EMOTIONS. Game is about getting to her FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS, it's not about showing off to her what a great bank account / body / job / or hair you have.

And you're still not giving us examples of conversations, so we can't know what you are doing wrong.

 

[edger]

Perhaps they may have solid 'game' but maybe they're not solid Men.

If they have solid game, then wouldn't that mean they're solid men?

One thing for sure, unless one is a priest and taken a vow of celibacy, GOD has, and never will have anything to do with you or anyone else being unattractive to women, or not getting 'play'.

Ok, you're entitled to your beliefs. I believe what I believe because I have strong enough, convincing grounds on which to base that belief. I haven't gotten one strong, convincing claim by you and others in this thread, which would counteract mine, besides, "There is no such thing as fate/destiny", which doesn't back anything up at all. How do you know we are not destined to have certain things happen to us and our lives to take on certain paths? I've backed my claims up, now I'd like to see yours.

Finally, analyzing what one's problem is is only the first step to solving it.
The next step is actually DOING something about it.

I've already SAID these guys have done something about it.

 

[edger]

You can't get upset at the AFC who is sleeping with the hot girl; that is between him and the girl.

Lol, who said I'm getting upset at the AFC? If anything, I'm happy when I see guys scoring, AFC or DJ(those who are cool and deserve it at least).

 

[Al Moh.]

If they have solid game, then wouldn't that mean they're solid men?

I see a problem here. You can have game by merely being a good actor and conciously doing the right things or you can do it automatically.

I know where you are coming from with you analytic point of view. Since I am one of those "dreaded intellectuals" ( ), I tried to solve my dating problem with mere logic back in my AFC days. But that is trying to hard. Humans aren't robots that can be just programmed the right way and then they will succeed. I always had the most success when I turned that logical mind of and just had fun.

After all, the point if this is go through concious training session in ordner to do those things unconciously later on.

Sometimes the solution is to STOP THINKING.

One more question for you: Do other people tell you that you've got "game"? After all, in your reasoning you've got it all together but still haven't got women. Let's leave women out of this equation. How do other people (guys and older women) react to you? Do they see you as a fun, social guy, as a leader and a man?

Or do you think god not just denies you women, but social acceptance in general?

 

[edger]

I see a problem here. You can have game by merely being a good actor and conciously doing the right things or you can do it automatically.

Yes, of course it can all be an act, but my point was, when you first start talking to a chick, she doesn't know you well enough yet to know whether you're faking it. In the beginning, she see's what she see's, and bases that on the type of guy you are.

One more question for you: Do other people tell you that you've got "game"? After all, in your reasoning you've got it all together but still haven't got women. Let's leave women out of this equation. How do other people (guys and older women) react to you? Do they see you as a fun, social guy, as a leader and a man?

Or do you think god not just denies you women, but social acceptance in general?

When I start talking to chix, my buddies aren't there. If I'm at a club and strike up some conversation with a chick, my buddy doesn't tag along for the interaction..he usually gives me my space and let's me work on her. When I start talking to chix, I always do it alone..I don't approach women with my friend along side me. So, my friends never get to see what my game is like, and therefore can't comment on it.

As far as the way other guys react to me, their reactions are positive. Sometimes I wish they were f*ckin' females, because I get good reactions from them. These guys have to see me as a social, fun guy, and a man. A leader though? Not always, because sometimes I enjoy my buddies taking the lead. I don't like to always be the lead. I know my buddies won't judge me on that the way a woman would. When I'm around women however, I make sure I take the lead. But understand something...I act differently among guys than I do around hot females..I think most of us guys do. Why do I act different? Because men are f*ckin' logical and I don't need to act a certain way the way I would have to with women. I'd be more than willing to bet that 99% of guys on this forum act differently with their buddies, than the way they act with the women they're trying to bang. With their buddies they can be themselves and be logical.

As far as "older women" go, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "older women". I'm assuming you're referring to "old ladies"(65+), lol, to which I get good reactions from whenever I interact with them. But of course, I'm not touching that..lol...unless she looks like Raquel Welch did when she was that age.

 

[DJVladdy]

Player Supreme actually did a show mentioning this idiot that created this thread.

He says people like him do not even deserve to breathe. And all you guys here are wanting to give him a hugs and saying "aww its okay buddy"
Hell no
tell him to either develop himself and put that ego aside,
OR
go cut your balls off right now faggot

 

[Alexappleton]

Hey Funny friend, Why you are hate girls that is not reason on girls reason is on your mind. We are made for each other.As a human being we can't live without each other.God is made this don't do any bad ........................

 

[Al Moh.]

Yes, of course it can all be an act, but my point was, when you first start talking to a chick, she doesn't know you well enough yet to know whether you're faking it. In the beginning, she see's what she see's, and bases that on the type of guy you are.

I bet she does. Your aura is completely different.




It seems to me that you see game as a bunch of techniques you use when talking to HBs. I call this the PUA's approach. However I believe that at some point this is going to backfire on you because you can't fake something you aren't forever. You shouldn't just act like a DJ, you should BECOME a DJ. Where is the overall confidence, the happiness, the social vibe? Those are things you display to EVERYONE not just chicks. That's why I was asking how other people see you. Because those traits are ALWAYS visible and not just when gaming women.So if you are happy, fun, social, confident and friendly, then everyone should notice and like to be arround you.

I once wrote this article "Kill that Bitterness" where I talked about new DJs looking down on women. Why do you have to put all this game on?

Seriously, I treat women (or at least I try to, after all I've still got a loooooong way to go myself ) like other people with just two main differences:

- adding sexuality
- not talking about certain topics (ie geek stuff)

At least those are the main differences. Imagine you are out with your buddies and see a beautiful girl walk by. You approach. Now, do you have to start up your whole game? Or are you already lightheartet and confident because you are having a nice time with your buddies?

 

[Brutus]

I believe you need about 4-5 more years to mature. You'll begin to realize its all about other people, not about you.

SO TRUE. Give other people what they want, and you'll get what you want.