Im trying to change myself.

[kevin1198]

I'm serious almost all of the time but I have these periods where I feel extreme euphoria for no reason. No matter what I say I feel like a boss and people just laugh and think I'm a pretty cool guy.

Then the next day It's like a complete turnaround. I really do feel like I give off weird vibes sometimes, but the thing is I hang around some really popular people, now that they know me they see me as a pretty chill guy.

People tell me I'm really smart so I think it contributes to my biggest problem; being stuck in my head. I feel inferior to others, and no matter how much I try to build confidence and be comfortable around others my own age I always slip back into a beta state.

I just want to be recognized for once, be a leader in my group of friends (it's like they don't notice I'm there sometimes!) and just be the best that I can be.

Girls are all of my friend (whose basically my bro) and I just don't see the big difference between him and me. At times he just seems dumb, but everyone thinks he's cool. Everyone listens when he talks, but it seems like I have to fight for attention at the table when I speak. What is the difference between him and me?

I'm committed to do what it takes to change. I just don't know how to stop being the way I am.

 

[LearningSlowly]

I'm committed to do what it takes to change.

Does that mean this thread is a journal now? It can't happen overnight, it takes time.

 

[alxrose04]

I agree with LearningSlowly. It is a process and it does take time. One of the things I can suggest to notice what you do on those days that you feel like a boss and try to repeat them. Make them habits. That way it becomes part of you. Granted, there are days when we all feel like crap but for the most part, keep up with a routine that gets you feeling good. Drink water, listen to music, and masturbate less (the hormone changes will mess with your mood).

But that great feeling will carry over, and whatever comes out of your mouth people will listen to and BAM! Look at you leading the pack.

But no matter what, you gotta remember that you are in control of your thoughts. Whether you are with your friends or male models, you are the better man. You're a Don Juan man. Keep repeating until your brain accepts it as fact. It's hard headed like that sometimes.

And as for your brother, try to seem him as a teammate rather than competition. Where he fails, I'm sure you soar. And when you talk, KNOW that you are worth listening to. If you KNOW that, then others will pick up on it.

Sorry for the ramble. Hope it helps.

 

[kevin1198]

I guess it might have to turn into a journal. I'm in the last 20 days of high school, and I'm leaving for the Air Force in August. What should I focus on that can help me improve while I'm here? All I've ever done was go to school, come home, work or hang out with a few friends. I don't really have passions and I get bored of things easily.

 

[Spawn_Xe]

"do or do not, there is no try"

Sound advice by the little green ninja.

 

[kevin1198]

So where should I get started? In regards to improving my life. With women I prefer natural game but find it hard to find good info on google about it. (I've read the DJ bible but I don't understand how to apply the principles)

 

[NorwegianDJ]

http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/409...s_(Tyler_Durden)_-_The_Blueprint_Decoded_DVDs

 

[kevin1198]

Downloading now.

 

[hardliquor]

The more you try to change yourself, the worse you end up.

Know yourself. That is the best anyone can do. And stop caring about what kind of "vibes" you have going on for you. Drop the ego man and nothing can affect you. It is a often a very long process, but you will find that most people you admire, from your grandmother to the Alpha, have this secret. Care about others, but don't give a **** how much they care about you.

 

[kevin1198]

IDK how to handle that hardliquor. Myself isn't exactly working for me right now. I'm hoping this blueprint stuff can help me improve myself

 

[LearningSlowly]

IDK how to handle that hardliquor. Myself isn't exactly working for me right now. I'm hoping this blueprint stuff can help me improve myself

You haven't written a single field report yet. The blueprint can't help you unless you put yourself into social situations.

Go do something where you have to interact with people, then come write about it.

 

[kevin1198]

Ok, First field report so I'll start with yesterday. Please critique my writing, I'm not used to journals.

Basically all I did was B.S. around school the whole day. I was on a mission to get things popping this weekend instead of doing the same old sh*t with the same guys. So I go around and get a few numbers from some old friends and talk to some new people that they hang out with.

After school I hung out with my close friends Logan and Caleb. We invited two girls over to chill around 9.pm. One was cute but a little too thick (we'll call her HB1) for me and the other was just right (HB2). I don't usually smoke but that's all anyone wants to do around here so I cave for the night.

I ended up giving shotguns (where you blow smoke into their mouth) to them while we were riding around town. First was HB2. IDK if I was just high or what but I had a big gut feeling that I should kiss her at that moment but I didnt. The only thing stopping me was the thought that my bro Kev is taking her to prom so I don't wanna hop in on his catch.

Now it's about 12 a.m. and we decide to drive to the beach and toke out some more. On the way there me and HB1 are talking about her first time going to the club and she brings up something about some dude fingering her on the dance floor. I didn't really know what to do or say after that so I just reclined the chair and let the high take over. I believe there were a few times I could've kissed her but didn't because of me being picky about thick girls.

We're all chilling again tonight so we'll see how it goes.

 

[DanZy]

Thick meaning stupid or thick meaning fat?

 

[kevin1198]

fat