Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I'm throwing this out there.. =)

Docs

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It's been a very long time since I have asked a question here, but I decided today might be it.

Back Story:
I met her though a friend, she came to my leaving party, good flirting.
The weekend later when I saw her again, we slept together.:cool:
The week later, I left (couldn't say bye)
Search for the FR if you are so inclined.

The now:
It'll be 2 and a half months since I've been in a different city and I'm flying back for 2 weeks. Between me and the mistress, we've barely talked. Why? Because buddy can't remember to get me her number....until just very recently. But aside from that, he does what he does to keep her interest relatively high. He accidently blurted out to her that I'm coming back (stupid dummy, that was supposed to be a surprise!!!) Anyways, she's excited to see me again.:D

The plans:
I don't know what buddy has planned, but he's picking me up from the airport. I told him my new wish is to be tackled and kissed :)D ), so if missy is there, I can only hope he told her (yeah, never been tackled by a girl, that'd be grand ^_^)

If not, assumingly we're going back to the house so dad/mom can say hi and all, then we're playing catch up with a few people, and grabbing missy if she wasn't initially around. We're shooting pool and stuff like that, surprising a lot of people and plan on chilling out for two weeks.

The question?!:
It's been a while, and we don't know each other very well. I would like direction on the way I should be acting. I want to escalate, as well as to talk and to get to know her. I dont' want to come off as 'he wants to get to know me, OMG', yet I don't want to focus on escalation since it'll be the 'I dont' know him too well, OMG'.:nervous:

Basically, what do you think is the way I should be aimming to act without registering the OMG factor :cool:


Comments/Questions Welcome.:D
 
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DON'T LOOK AT IT LIKE THAT Docs.

"OMG he wants to get to know me" Who would think that? You maybe, but she won't be, not unless you put the idea in her head. Freudian slip style, "Your not getting nervous because I'm getting to know you"

Think of her as a good friend, that you have to get to know better. Call it rapport if you'd like, but I'd rather call it friendship. You wouldn't let your best friend get away without telling you what he's been up to in life would you?
 

Jariel

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This dilemma is more complex than it first appears. Talking theoretically I would say go ahead without hesitation and just kiss her when you see her (you tackle her), but I know in reality meeting with a girl after some time apart is nearly always quite reserved to begin with.

No doubt she will be having the same concerns as you, plus wondering if she still looks good to you after all this time, if your attraction has changed and so on, and she'll probably be quite reserved not wanting to put herself out there, in a position to be rejected.

Of course it would be great if she was there to tackle you and you can just pick up where you left off, but I think when you are face to face with her you'll probably realise that you have to work back up to where you were - i.e. flirting and escalating. At least you've already broken the ice and have established attraction and familiarity, which should make it a lot easier.
 

ProtoMan1

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(start sarcasm)
OMG, I can't believe that a senoir don juan poster would ask such a question! Read the BIBLE!

(end sarcasm)

LOL!

Okay, well, yeah just as Jariel mentioned just pick up where you left off with her but at the same time get to know her better. Flirt with her and all. You maybe have to back track just a little, only because you said that you guys have not kept in contact. So pick it up where you left off, flirt with her and get to know her better. Add some C+F questioning, after.. and boom. Hit us back with a FR! I don't think there is anything wrong with getting to know here better. So don't worry about that!
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Docs

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Think of her as a good friend, that you have to get to know better. Call it rapport if you'd like, but I'd rather call it friendship. You wouldn't let your best friend get away without telling you what he's been up to in life would you?
I see what you mean, but I'm not talking about JUST friends, or else I wouldn't be here asking how to be friends with a girl (haha, someone should write an article on how to be friends with a girl XD). Thank you for the input though.

This dilemma is more complex than it first appears. Talking theoretically I would say go ahead without hesitation and just kiss her when you see her (you tackle her), but I know in reality meeting with a girl after some time apart is nearly always quite reserved to begin with.
Oh yeah, I'm frankly a little scared ^_^
No doubt she will be having the same concerns as you, plus wondering if she still looks good to you after all this time, if your attraction has changed and so on, and she'll probably be quite reserved not wanting to put herself out there, in a position to be rejected.
Maybe, but there's no doubt here, I'm definitely still interested in her =)
Of course it would be great if she was there to tackle you and you can just pick up where you left off, but I think when you are face to face with her you'll probably realise that you have to work back up to where you were - i.e. flirting and escalating. At least you've already broken the ice and have established attraction and familiarity, which should make it a lot easier.
Yeah, it is a big thing after time to do something like that, so I guess I don't know what to expect. I think you made the most sense, and I should just go with the flow, or lead it if there isn't any flow.

(start sarcasm)
OMG, I can't believe that a senoir don juan poster would ask such a question! Read the BIBLE!

(end sarcasm)

LOL!
You're adorable for 33 posts!!!
Okay, well, yeah just as Jariel mentioned just pick up where you left off with her but at the same time get to know her better. Flirt with her and all. You maybe have to back track just a little, only because you said that you guys have not kept in contact. So pick it up where you left off, flirt with her and get to know her better. Add some C+F questioning, after.. and boom. Hit us back with a FR! I don't think there is anything wrong with getting to know here better. So don't worry about that!
Yeah, you seem on the right track too. The only thing I'm thinking 'what the...', is the C+F questioning. Mind kicking a few examples, I want to see if you're for sure on the right road.

Maybe a FR, maybe =)
 
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Docs said:
I see what you mean, but I'm not talking about JUST friends, or else I wouldn't be here asking how to be friends with a girl (haha, someone should write an article on how to be friends with a girl XD). Thank you for the input though.
I said treat her as a friend. Create the mindset, and take what you need.

I was arguing about the doing part, not the being part, sorry for the confusion. Does it make sense now?
 

Docs

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Yeah, I guess that makes sense

Basically, I think you've all told me that I should start a step back from before, and build up the knowledge, while taking two steps forward.

=)
 

El MonoLoco

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Even the best get hung up once in a while....we're only human right.....I meant that as people not that I concider myself the best cause I don't by any means....


Ok Docs...this is easy....

Act like you never left and just pick up where u left off. Sure there will be some initial hesitation from both of you. But as soon as you get past that things should be fine. If she's as excited as you say then she'll be the more nervous of you two. You can use that to your advantage if you just play it cool....



:rockon:
 

ProtoMan1

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Docs said:
You're adorable for 33 posts!!!


Yeah, you seem on the right track too. The only thing I'm thinking 'what the...', is the C+F questioning. Mind kicking a few examples, I want to see if you're for sure on the right road.

Maybe a FR, maybe =)
LOL!
I'm blushing Docs! lol.

Well, as for examples... I didn't mean anything specific, perhaps in the lines of when you're asking her questions..

Docs: So what kind of music do you like, why, etc etc
HB: Dixie Chicks, Britney Spears.. blah blah blah, Britney is pretty. blah
Docs: Whoa?! Britney Spears?!? Ok, I'm taking you home NOW! ;)

I guess I meant... be C+F when you're getting to know her. As for CF questions... you can mix/max how you like, but ask accordingly as the relationship progresses. i.e. acquaintance to friendship to dating to gf.. you get the idea.

FR man! I'm looking forward to reading it! good luck.
 

Docs

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Yeah, I have this effect on people that casues them to blush and be all giddy, it's because I do this ---> =)

Britney Spears XD, haha!!!

I think I know what you mean by being C+F about it now.

FR, maybe =)

Man, it's 215 and I'm still awake....partly because I've spent a little time thinking about her. Crap, it's never good to lose sleep over a girl :\
 

DarkLight

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Hmm... everything sounds pretty sane.
So here goes another route.

(if you see her while sober, with a sh!tload of time where the 2 of you just get to chat, etc. it might get into the wierd zones. Thus... postpone this bit by going about the whole scenario like this...)

Don't see her until your out at night, drinking w. your boys, etc. lil party, bar, whatever, and theres a group of rekindled spirits, for your being in town again. You know what I mean.

From there... just enjoy the re-connection with her. Make it like an entire PU again. Ask her how's she's been, if she missed you, how she's lived w/o you, etc. lol. Have fun... Bed her again.

So the next day after... the reconnection will already have been re-established through the fun/easy sexual inevitable of the night before. Now you can both get to know eachother on more personable levels the day after over breakfest, or whatever. Now the situation no longer has the potential of being misconstrued in the avenues you were "thinking".

Sort of like picking up where you left off... by re-creating where you left off.
Cheers'
 

DarkLight

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Word. =)
 
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