I'm the man I want to be

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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Well, don't want to make an awesome post, I guess this is more like spilling personal opinions to everyone else's eyes, but somethings are common to everyone, I want everyone to find these and go from that. And if you disagree, I can discuss with you politely.

Today, was my first day of school.
Here in Brazil we have only 3 Highschool years, so now I'm in my "senior" year.

I don't know how this year is going to be. Honestly. I have no idea.

And I'll surely post by the end of the year to see how things went, and remember this time when I knew nothing.

But, for the first time, I felt different in school.
Yes.

I felt confident, self-assured, powerful.

I felt like a man.

I walk around tall and proud, focused on myself.

This year, I decided to give more attention to my buds, the good buds, and to my studies, so I can get rid of this sh!t fast.

And it's amazing. I'm surprised to see, that I have 3 or 4 REAL friends. It's few. For a school with 600 people, it's 0,5 % !!

But I know I can really trust them, and I'll carry them for my whole life.

For us, friendship is a commitment of fun, trust, honor and ethics, above any girl or any foolish pride.

That's great. I think everyone knows that. These long lost brothers that life puts in our way. Real gifts.

It's good, it's awesome, the feeling that you don't have to prove yourself to anyone.
I feel so great now, because I finally feel like this. I always thought I needed to prove myself for a lot of people, and do a lot of things just to prove x to y, instead of doing them for my own good.

When you feel that you don't have to prove anything to anyone, it's very different at first. It makes you calm, very calm.

I feel calm now.
Never been this calm.
Calm like a Zen-Buddhism monk :D

I know what my goals are, I know how to achieve them, I know how and when to break the rules, I know how to play the HS game.

Things for me now are mostly a matter of time, not a matter of probability.

This calm motivates me, as I know that today is gone, now it's only 199 days away, the end of HS.

I guess I never told anyone here, but I don't like my school much.
I even hated it. It's 1 hour from home, it's very hot in there, and filled with motherf*ckers who hate me and my buds. We're the "preppiest" kids of school, in their eyes.

But I don't mind. I don't worry about arguing, fighting or wasting my energy with them. I'm saving this energy for my buds and for the ladies.

Very funny, my last one-itis crush and I had a delicious conversation today. We talked about a lot of things, about our dreams, about the past, the present and the future.

And I never had such honest, sincere conversation with her ever.
I don't feel a spark for her anymore. She's just a good friend, I'm not in this wild rush of talking to them all the time, trying to kino, finding out if she broke up with her bf. No. No more.

I LJBF her :D

It's very nice to have female FRIENDS, who you can talk to and see the other side of the things, not just for advice, but for seeing how their worlds turn and how women are gracious gifts from heaven.

While we're talking about girls, let me share a little something about rules...
Some guys are trying to make all these rules, so that the dating game becomes logical and mathematical. Preddictable, objective...

But that's not how it works !! Unless you have a nice background and resources (like guys from A.S.F.) it's very hard to have a exact dating plan.

Sure, there are lots of guidelines, but even the best seducers haven't found a 100% error-free formula to dating.

Women are SUBJECTIVE !
Print this phrase and put it on a T-shirt. Or tatoo it in your forehead.
Don't try to make things TOO logical with them.
Sure, stick to the guidelines if you're helpless, but if you feel confident in yourself, live by your own rules.

Open new paths. Don't take the ones already open forever, cause they'll only lead to where everyone else go.
Break the rules sometimes.

I used to be so worried about calling the right day, setting the right date, bring certain topics, stop myself from going talking to them... Then I finally saw, that this was make-up for my insecurity.

How many of you make-up your insecurities by sticking to these error-free routines ?
Isn't it easier than just taking the chance and making your own game?

I met this girl three weeks ago, in a camp... She kept eye contact, and fluffed ocasionally, and I got great kino from her fast.
But she wasn't very flirty and very responding. Ok. She saw me making her younger sis and her friends laugh their asses off, so she become more open, but still no more signs, only eye contact.

Ok. I thought about forgetting about her completely, but I let the times roll and stayed aloof.

One week after the camp, the people from the camp made a barbecue... She went... fluff talk, and nothing more than that.
She was neutral for me. I just kept staring and smiling from time to time. When she wasn't around I had some good convos with her cute friend.

And that leads to last Sunday... one guy I met in the camp has a band, and they were playing in a bar... I went there to have some fun, see the guys rock, and just do something better than sitting home.

I did not know if she would come or not, but that did not bother me much...
She came kinda late, but she came... and I took sometime before seeing her and saying hello... calmly, naturally.
She then saw me, said hello, and then went back to her friends' table.

Some minutes after, most of the people go away, and we are kinda close. She showed me pictures that she took in the camp (Man, she has the most beautiful belly I've ever seen live. She skinny but not scrawny, and her belly is very fit but not ripped.
I'm a belly addict by the way LOL :D )

Then I went C&F half of the time, half of the time talked seriously.
Found out that at the camp she was very sad, and she cried. Good thing I didn't hang around her like flies on sh!t.

I started some basic kino, and we started talking more... She mentioned that she doesn't have a boyfriend (Why in the hell would she mention that? :confused: :D :D )
Then I went for better kino... I laid in her chest, and then sometimes I'd playfully spike her neck with my hair)

She gave me her #s, and I could have gone for the close, but I've decided to do it when we're all alone, there were many people we both know there. The slut factor would come off...

Friday we're going out jogging... and the worst thing that can happen is that she can't make it and we'll go Saturday.

I let things flow naturally with her, kinoed and voilá !

Now, the reason why I told you this long boring story is this:

Before, I would try to switch off my feelings, forget about her and wait like, 5 days to call...

But... I won't. First to straighten things up, I have other 2 girls on standby, and I'm not having one-itis, not calling her everyday, not writing her poems, I'm not going to bring her flowers or any of that ****.

But I do want to experience this feeling of infatuation... Of meeting someone new, and things going smoothly... It's a delicous feeling...
Specially now, that it is dettached from all the suffering, neediness, loneliness and one-itis from my AFC days.

It's like, I got the best out of this feeling and I'm enjoying it now !

I guess some people, in their quest to recover from AFCdom, forget to keep this great part of being infatuated, of knowing a sweet girl, feeling good when you think about her.

And this is sweet !! This is like, the feeling that motivated a lot of 80's movies and songs (as example I'll take Karate Kid... he was infatuated, he was even AFC, but he had fun with the girl, they enjoyed each other...)

That's the keyword: ENJOY

ENJOY those feelings... cause when we get older, we can't enjoy them in this young, fresh and somehow ingenous way.

I see the difference of happy guys, that are successfully dating, and losers who only wank and hardly have some girl beside them.

The happy guys were dating, learning from their mistakes, learning that calling too much is bad, that being needy makes her uninterested from trial and error, while losers were playing counterstrike and talking in IRC sex chatrooms.

And because of their experiences, they can ENJOY the feelings of infatuation, liking, caring about someone in a much better way than those who never knew it !!

Like the song says, " It's better to be lost in love, than never to have loved at all "

So, for now, this is my philosophy. I'll try to enjoy things the best I can with this babe, and if things don't work, I got myself a new friend. And carry on. And if opportunities appear, I KNOW I'll notice and take them. Because this security, this calm, makes things easy, slow an' easy for me.

See, I may come to this post in a week and edit: I'm dating the girls, and things in school are great. Or, she LJBF me, but that's all right cause she'll introduce me to her babe friends, and things at school are kinda tough, but I can handle.

I don't know how the future is going to be. Hey, I don't know how tomorrow is gonna be !!
But I know, that most problems I can handle... and I know that I'll handle things calmy, suave and peacefully.

Always trying to enjoy the most, because if there's one thing that scares me is doing nothing and then regretting my laziness for my whole life... Life is too short to not to do something about it...

I now know, I'm the man I want to be.

So, go there, find your ways to be calm, cool, allof, self-assured, in control, and fight hard for them.
After you earned them, please remember to ENJOY. And relax...

Always in a beautiful way
With the DJ light in the back of your mind
Your heart full of love and dreams
And your eyes staring into infinity

Live. Experience. Feel. Enjoy.

Be the man you want to be.

BBB
 

darkmenace

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thats just beautiful man. Thanx for the inspiration, I been needing that for a while.
 

superman0

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Great Post.
I have had the same feelings as you recently.
A calmness that nothing can shake. Best feeling in the world.
The calm feeling that nothing can shake, that allows you to enjoy life to the fullest.
I agree with you also on creating your own game. Thats the way I view these forums. The articles on thsi forum are guidelines and suggestions for the game. You have to create your own game, and if you just stick exactly to this site you may have some success, but not great success.
Again, Great post.
 

Volatile Spot

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How?

I can feel like that sometimes, but sometimes it gets hectic. My schedule of 4 includes 3 merit classes and a foreign language. Between my insane amount of homework and home problems how can anyone I be so laid back? I do know the feeling though, and I definitely relate about hating school sometimes. It takes an hour on the bus in the morning and an hour and a half on the way home, and I don't like the people I ride with.

Glad you've found yourself though.
 

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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Time Stands Still

:)

Nice seeing the past described in such detail... when I wrote this I was in my first day of class, of my last year of highschool.
Well, I can only see now how much I've learned ! And I've learned a fuc*ing LOT !!

The girl I spent lines and lines on this post, well, was too "right" for me... she was so much trouble that the outcome wouldn't be worth it... I talk to her sporadically.

Well, the friend I "LJBF" but then again fell to temptation, well, she isn't my friend anymore. :rolleyes:
I finally got rid of her, as I noticed that this "crush" I had on her was holding me back from really succeeding.

So, it was the end... Today I went by her, she said hello to all of my friends, and didn't look to me... I didn't looked much at her either... We just pass by each other like strangers... well, that's the way it was meant to be... it's so great not to feel a little bit of compulsion to go there and talk to her, yet one time or two I caught myself willing to go there talk to her... but soon my senses would come back.

When I first posted this, I was a man with limited friends... I was popular, in the "well-known" sense of the word, but wasn't really good friends with many people.
I managed to change that...

It's great... it's good to have a lot of people to talk to, to do things with...

I enjoyed my time with my buds, laughed a lot, gave my fat friend a bra, and it was very nice for a first day of the last semester.
I paid a lot of attention to classes, and I'm working hard to keep doing so and improve my grades, cause I got 5 bad ones...

I did all the exercises and sat on the front row, LOL

About the girls, I only spent my time with two babe friends, and I did really great... very funny and very sexual, lots of kino and innuendos... was very very nice... I managed to start heating things up with one friend, then the other one saw it and got jealous, so she offered me a massage... I played the usual C&F we all know so well and she insisted me to go there and sit... I sat and enjoyed a nice massage... then left her to go back to the other one... always joking a lot and with lots of kino...

There's one girl really really cute, fitting perfectly in the BBB ISO 2003, that I broke strangers state in the vacations... today I fluffed a little with her, found out later that she broke up with her bf... so, time to rock.

Well, today, I saw the beauty of the things we preach at work...
Lots of kino and innuendos, without being too pushy or too needy, and she begs for your company...
And tickling them makes them wet... seriously, because you can "tickle" her, when you're actually going to erogenous zones, and man, that's money... like my friend said: " wow, I'm feeling so hot now" :cool:

Seriously, I found myself pleased to be around here in this period... in various moments, after I did some things, I noticed that they have been covered in various recent posts... from decisions like not going to talk to the one-itis, to the pleasant kino, man, we're SO WELL SERVED !!

We've got no excuse, information is abundant around here nowadays... it's just get up, go out and get them !!

Seriously, with all the time I spent with mindset, I had a certain amount of worry, that when I got back to the real stuff I'd have lost my touch...
But no man! Once your head is straightened, then you can enjoy it big time... be bold and don't give a sh!t, and it's money!!

Bush the boundaries with your female friends, and with the girls you're working on!!
I admit that I was worried, but everything was great today, and tomorrow is very promising too.

Well, now I rest my case... I don't have any idea of how these 4 months are going to be... like I said before... I don't know what may happen next week... but I'm armed with a burning passion for fun, lots of kino, innuendos and an insane desire to do my best in this time that is left for me...

Enjoy every minute of it, and have nothing to regret of not doing...

Well, this is mostly like a rant, but I wanted to make this post to mark the beggings, and the end of my HS journey.

Thanks for anyone who cares reading this, and I'm open to comments or questions...

BBB
 

Drow

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Awesome man.. you got your head in the right place. Things can really only go up from here.

This post (and the top one) showed me exactly what Im striving for.. that calmness and confidence I should carry around with myself always. To be bold and push my limits.

When you feel that you don't have to prove anything to anyone, it's very different at first. It makes you calm, very calm.
That right there is gold.. when you don't have to prove anything to anyone you are free. The focus is on yourself and life.. the worries are mostly gone and you are out experiencing life, not trying to force yourself into it.

Glad to see things are going well with you. Take care.

Drow
 

Drug_L0rd

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man, you lucky boy.

you live in BRAZIL, the girls there are MMMMMMMM.

since i was like 10 i knew i wanted to go Brazil when i grow up for...you know. :D

i saw those world cup chicks from Brazil


enjoy man, enjoy :D
 

Sammo

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Beatifal, inspirational and excellent as usual BBB, the followup post was nice as well. ;) Your mindset is awesome mate.
 

SnatchJP

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I love it! excellent stuff!

For me though, the rush of conquering a hectic life, succeeding at everything you're doing is going to be much more rewarding. Still thats me. Each to his own, right?
 

Dig the Funk

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Interesting you mention Buddhism......has the issue of religion as it relates to all this DJ ish been adressed? Something about the peace that comes from faith would seem to be at least somewhat conducive to DJing. Seems like a far-flung subject deserving of a big post.
 

kevbo

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interesting post. made me realize how much i myself learned over the last school year.
 

oreo_renegade

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Bod Flies!?

Holy hell, I just watched some Tv special about bugs, and they were talking about flies that lay eggs on other flies stomach and then the normal houseflies land on humans, and the humans body heat releases the larva from the eggs, and it goes into your skin and lives off your flesh, and then these nasty ass holes are in you skine, and then the grow larva fall out and go into the earth and become the flies again!!!!!


holy **** man, BBB have you seen any of these in brazil, or is there some kind of lotion you have to wear to protect yourself from this ****?

damn... lol, they die from alcohol though, so i guess if you walk around soaking in vodka youll be safe :)
 

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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LOL Oreo :)

Now you figured why I take so long to type... it's those damn flies.

Things like that only happen in more rural areas, in farms or in the forests.
Where I live is a big city... 1 million people ;)

By the way, we call it Berne (bear-neeh), when the fly lands its eggs inside and then it grows inside you until it rips your skin and flies away, LOL !!!

BBB
 
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