I'm 'that' guy - the one who slept with your girl. Help!

[david99]

Tricky Situation - need some advice!

Not your girl obviously, but you know what I mean... one of those **icks.
(Apologies for subject... it's lame i know)

To break it down -

Extremely hot girl started at work (HBW)
Flirted with her - as you do.
She responded, aggressively...
I controlled the pace, told her I wasn't looking for a LTR, she said she wasn't either
Saw her out the following week, she literally jumped on me and made out (she was infatuated with me)
Sex, kissing, flirting, good times etc... continue for ~month

Today I finally join up with facebook as my friends keep bugging me about it. I allow it to search my addy book for contacts, it adds her, I check her info and it clearly states -

"In a relationship with AFC"

I click on AFC's profile and his wall thing is completely full with "I'm so in love with HBW" and "tonight was the best night ever, i love you HBW" blah blah blah.... I noticed there's quite a few replies from her saying "i love you too babe" etc etc...

As soon as I 'discovered' the above my respect for her dropped from 100% right down into the red... and I know she felt that vibe at work today.

I've always maintained the rule that I will NOT go near girls in relationships or who are married. And now that's exactly what I've done.

How do I go about ending this like a man (without destroying our working relationship)- and preferably without killing the POSSIBILITY of having the option to have her as a FB when she's truly single (man she's hot and knows how to work it).

Do I bring up her BF & be honest - telling her how it is i.e.no respect for girls who cheat, or just simply tell her I've met a girl who I'd like to pursue a relationship with?

Note: Yes, I was developing relationship feelings for her, and in a lot of ways we were starting to act like a couple... so yes, it does hurt, but I am going to let my head rule my emotions this time.

Cheers all!

 

[Tiguere]

Wait wait wait... You an afc brotha.

You just feel inferior cuz your c0ck is not enough for her. Stop that cra.p about you losing respect for her. That doesn't fly here. You told her about how you wanted to get low and dirty but weren't looking for ltr and she agreed and you didn't lose respect for her then but now that she is getting 2 c0cks and you are only getting one pvssy you feel inferior.

Don't tell me you have morals cuz you dont

Drop the ego.

 

[david99]

Wait wait wait... You an afc brotha.

You just feel inferior cuz your c0ck is not enough for her. Stop that cra.p about you losing respect for her. That doesn't fly here. You told her about how you wanted to get low and dirty but weren't looking for ltr and she agreed and you didn't lose respect for her then but now that she is getting 2 c0cks and you are only getting one pvssy you feel inferior.

Don't tell me you have morals cuz you dont

Drop the ego.

Somewhat true, though I wouldn't have gone anywhere near here if I knew she had a BF to begin with.

And yeah, it's clear she's in a committed relationship - not an open one, if she was in an open one, or was single... and not looking for a LTR then she has (and had) my respect, but cheating get's ZERO respect from me.

So I'll admit you a half right, and respect the bluntness.

Any suggestions on how to end it?

 

[OamImrsNemo]

Wait wait wait... You an afc brotha.

You just feel inferior cuz your c0ck is not enough for her. Stop that cra.p about you losing respect for her. That doesn't fly here. You told her about how you wanted to get low and dirty but weren't looking for ltr and she agreed and you didn't lose respect for her then but now that she is getting 2 c0cks and you are only getting one pvssy you feel inferior.

Don't tell me you have morals cuz you dont

Drop the ego.

I am sorry this does not seem true at all.

He is losing respect for her because she has a boyfriend in the picture and I am sure he was not informed of this decision that could effect him ex. Std. So yea that is grounds for losing respect when she is hoeing like that nothing about being inferior from what I see.

I think you should keep escalating at work but somehow your schedule should get a little busy so its hard to find time for her. When you find out she is single you can pounce again but until then I would stay away from her and I respect you for that. I feel a Dj is about bettering yourself and stealing another mans woman does not seem very Dj to me.

Start spinnin some more plates man!

 

[Tiguere]

Spin plates. Return her calls with texts...very delayed texts. Downgrade her little by little until she gets the point.

She has a bf..so doont over analyze it . She's hot but there are others hot out there also.

 

[david99]

Cheers guys I really appreciate it.

So the consensus is - do NOT make her aware that I know she has a BF? But simply sarge more, and give her less and less of my time etc...

 

[Just a Shot Away]

You obviously have amazing confidence and game, why not just bang another coworker and make sure she finds out?

 

[JustLurk]

You obviously have amazing confidence and game, why not just bang another coworker and make sure she finds out?

"an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
This thread sounds just like the plot of *spoilers* Up in the Air.

 

[drak_ool]

And yeah, it's clear she's in a committed relationship

No, man, it's clear to her it's NOT a committed relationship. A committed relationship is one where you don't "aggressively" seek out another guy, have sex with him for a month straight, etc...

So you feel bad for the guy? Shyt, I wouldn't but props to you for being a better man than me. But think about this: if you really wanna make things better for him, is it better for you to simply stop banging his chick after you've been deep inside of her for a while, or to tell him about how much of a hor his little angel is?

Look, you have to be honest with yourself and have consistence in your actions. If you just break it off with this girl and leave it at that, this AFC bf will suffer more as a consequence. He will get more and more invested in her, she will keep leading him on while she is fvcking other guys on the side.

So either be a man and talk to the guy (if you really feel bad for him) or if not just keep fvcking her as you were b4.

My gut feeling is that the reason you don't wanna mess with her anylonger is because you were catching feelings for this girl and now you know it's all over since she already has a bf. You can still keep her as a fvck buddy, just make sure you're also gaming other chicks on the side.

 

[fatdog]

You obviously have amazing confidence and game, why not just bang another coworker and make sure she finds out?

Considering he's worried about "destroying [his] working relationship" with her, I'd say he just avoid women at his job. Nothing good can come out of relationships at work, and it sounds like he wouldn't be able to handle the situation, were it to get ugly.

In this case, the phrase "Don't sh1t where you eat" seems to be the most appropriate.

 

[Jblitz59]

cut yourself off from her man.
I was in the same boat. the only way to get her to lose the zero is to make her realize it is YOU she gets the good feelings from not her bf.

don't do ANYTHING with her. dont even talk to her for a week.
she will do drastic things when you tell her you have lost interest because you found out she is taken.

 

[iqqi]

This thread is full of bad advice. It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book with spiteful AFC's running the helm.

OP, tell her that you don't dig cheating. Then cut her off, be polite, but cut her off. She'll get it, and maybe even take a lesson from you about respect. The end.

 

[backbreaker]

pics?

 

[harkkam08]

She cheats on her bf with you, she will cheat on you as well. Not guaranteed but most likely.

So she isn't a quality chick worth chasing after. I personally would tell the guy only because I would feel so bad.

 

[david99]

Cheers all, thanks for the input - and laughs!

I will follow iqqi's suggestion as that aligns more with my way of thinking.

 

[YoungHOV]

What is it with women?

That has been me quite often. If not boyfriend, then definitely just a **** even though there's obviously some other guy in the picture. Fine with me, I'm not them.

Anyway, this summer, I just hooked up with that girl with the 3-year boyfriend, and a little over a month ago I banged this chick that is engaged to some guy 2 hours away. A couple years ago, this girl came up to our place with her friend to take some shots and we all got messed up up, and her boyfriend lived on the same floor as her and was asleep IN HER ROOM. We ended up making out, clothes came off, we ****ed, and her boyfriend called her the next morning while she was NAKED in MY BED, and then I ****ed her right after.

Jesus Christ, am I a ****ing loony magnet or are all women just wh0r3s with no sense of loyalty or honesty? I find it hard to trust any woman, and probably would not trust her to spend one-on-one time with any single straight man, let alone spend the night at his place. Are these boyfriends just straight up AFCs, not having any balls to say, "hell no, you're not staying over there!"? Seriously, if that was my girlfriend I would NOT be ok with that, and all of my friends that were there agreed with me.