I'm sure this question has been asked here before v. Girl with boyfriend

[Vypros]

But this is an area in which I've always sucked before. I mean, typically when I find out a girl has a boyfriend, I shut down because I tend not to want to be the guy that comes between a girl and her boyfriend.

The more I learn, though, the more I realize that to get with a girl who has stuff going for her, I'm going to have to learn how to handle her having a boyfriend and not letting that stop me from pursuing her.

Hence this thread.

So how do you deal with the "I have a boyfriend" dillema. I ask because I don't want to use cheap or sleezy methods to take her from having a boyfriend to dating me. I am NOT going to be the guy that lets her cheat on her boyfriend with me. But I also don't want to just abandon a girl like that either. (Bear in mind I'm talking strictly about girls with boyfriends...I have no intention of pursuing a married girl at all)

So how do you deal with this in a non-sleezy way? Without ending up friendzoned.

 

[JCballin88]

Examples:

HB: Sorry, but I have a boyfriend.
You: *Laughing* Hey, I just met you and you are already telling me about your problems?

This is my favorite quick response. The thing is, you have to say it quickly and sound genuine, so it doesn't come across as canned.

I know this is just a quick surface-reaction. I'll let the more advanced pros handle the real nitty gritty stuff.

 

[Warrior74]

I could have three times the women I have if I could get over hitting on girls with boyfriends. As it stands I only have two and they both want me to be their man and are waiting for me (which is never gonna happen). Other dudes are waiting for them to get over me.

Find out if it's really a boyfriend or if she's waiting for him to commit or if she's done with him and just waiting for someone else to come along. If she's really committed and in love with her boyfriend there is nothing you can do but move on to the next one and leave her alone in my opinion. No use hanging around waiting for something to change. Go hunting!

 

[Captain]

If she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend, know 2 things: Firstly, she isn't relationship material as she would also cheat on you, and second, her boyfriend didn't attract her enough to keep her, so some other man will eventually have come between them if you don't first.

Just act like you normally do. Don't talk about the boyfriend. If you ask for her number, and she tells you she has a boyfriend, simple: tell her that's not what you asked, or you don't care, or "but I just want to be friends" with a sly smile. Anything like that. It's better to get totally rejected than to leave after giving a half-assed effort and not knowing what could have been.

One last thing, never try to get the girlfriend of a friend of yours. That's just not being a good friend. Any other guy, though, and she's free game.

EDIT:

If you want a girl with a boyfriend, don't bother trying to get her to leave him, just screw her on the side. If you do that, and understand she is not relationship material (as she will cheat on you too), then all is fine.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Do NOT pursue a girl with a boyfriend.
If you somehow manage to get her to leave her boyfriend, what's going to stop her from leaving you for the next guy?

There are rules to this game and one rule that is rarely talked about here is:
Don't fvck with other people's lives/relationships.

The fact is, there are so many other girls without boyfriends that you can pursue. Trust me, I've had girls tell me that they have boyfriends sooo many times and sometimes it gets incredibly annoying.

I'll be as straight as possible with you here. Trying to get a girl to leave her boyfriend or going between a girl and her boyfriend is a bytch move. It doesn't matter what you think of her or her boyfriend. Encouraged cheating might as well be considered adultery.

 

[Vypros]

I think you all are misinterpreting what I am asking.

I'm not looking for ways to break up a happy couple.

I'm asking how to maintain the attraction with this girl on the chance that she decides to break up with him during the time that I know her.

In the past I've waited around for girls to break up with their boyfriends, but by doing so I've ended up in the friendzone never to return again.

I'm just curious about how to maintain the "relationship" with her on the off chance she might break up with the guy.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I'm just curious about how to maintain the "relationship" with her on the off chance she might break up with the guy.

This is exactly what you don't want to do, just read what you wrote. "On the off chance she might..." This is not worth your time at all. Just call her once in a while and if the opportunity strikes and she's single, see if it works out. You want to get as little involved in her personal life as you can, because she'll see you as a friend. In fact, many women see other guys as friends if they have a boyfriend.

Don't expect anything like that to happen man, that's not the kind of mindset you want to have.

 

[75%PUA]

gaming other guys bfrends is pathetic

you shudnt keep any type of relationship that has sexual tension wit a girl who has a BF. Imagine being the guy! i know coz i was him at one point. I agree girls like that are worthless, either way ther are a million single girls go after them.

 

[Captain]

I'm not looking for ways to break up a happy couple.

Good. It rarely works, and you don't want to break her up, because there's no reason. You wouldn't want to be in a relationship with her, because she will cheat on you int he future.

I'm asking how to maintain the attraction with this girl on the chance that she decides to break up with him during the time that I know her.

Same things you usually do to generate and keep attraction.

In the past I've waited around for girls to break up with their boyfriends, but by doing so I've ended up in the friendzone never to return again.

Forget about them. Ignore them. If you aren't going to make aggressive moves on her an get her into bed, don't talk to her until she breaks up with the boyfriend.

I'm just curious about how to maintain the "relationship" with her on the off chance she might break up with the guy.

Just dial up the sexual tension and attraction. Don't spend any time with her at all if you're not building attraction. Don't hang around her and her boyfriend at the same time.

you shudnt keep any type of relationship that has sexual tension wit a girl who has a BF. Imagine being the guy! i know coz i was him at one point. I agree girls like that are worthless, either way ther are a million single girls go after them.

That's like saying you shouldn't have sex with women if you don't plan on marrying them because there are millions of chumps out there pining over them.

If she cheats, it's her fault for being easy and the boyfriends fault for not attracting her enough.

 

[goodfoot]

What about unhappy couples?