im so mad im going to puke

[Kong]

i just started dating 2 girls last week. 1 is a tall music major i met at a dance club and the other is a short stripper.

i liked the band girl a lot more because she seemed sane and less slutty. I had them both in my room (obviously at different times)and made out with them both this week but neither would let me sleep with them on the first date.

the first date with the band girl (after dancing with her 2 different times and talking to her on the internet and phone) was at a cofee shop. i was already going with 3 friends and she called so i invited her along. BAD mistake. we all ended up in a bar with all my friends hitting on her. Im better looking than any of them but i was so mad that i got cold and barely talked to her. 1 of my best friends was trying the hardest and despite being a fat **** with a mouth full of fake teeth she was kind of diging him. We all stoped at her house and she invited us all in. He aked 4 gum she said it was in her bedroom and they both went in. i gave them a minute and a half and fallowed. He had his hands all over her. I pushed the pice of **** onto her bed and pulled back to hit (i have lifted weights religously and boxed since i was 15, fought in the tough man 2x and used to spar with a golden gloves champion) but i didnt because he was such a good friend and im in law school and didnt want to get my ass kicked out 4 a felony. I grabbed her and she went home with me. Wouldnt let me take her underwear off but let me do everything else. I half forgave her because she was drunk. just went out with her today and she said she didnt want a guy like me who gets mad over nothing and wants to fight whenever a guy touches her. then she said she would rather be with a guy like my friend who "gets her music." the fat pice of **** (im 40 pounds lighter and 2x as muscular) pretended he liked all her crap. I would have been the me too guy but i was so mad at my former friend that i had just sat there.

I just left the bar i was with her at and i called my little stripper (who wouldnt do me on the first date but i figured it was time and would sooth my nerves) and a guy in the back ground was like "hey Katt who's that." I told her to come over and she said "this isnt a good time, ill call you tomorrow" and hung up on me.

I havn't been this mad in YEARS. Im sitting here shaking. I want to rip all of there guts out. Its without a doubt my worst day in recent memory. I dont know what to do. I figure ill stop hanging out with a friend i cant trust. Ill probably still call and do the stripper another day because i knew what kind of girl she was from the begining. But im so mad at the other 1. Im going to call her cell i think and tell her what a $(ut i think she is, if she will answer.

What can i do? Im so angry but I feel so impotent and unable to get at the people who have screwed me over.

 

[CLOONEY]

Wow man, that aint cool!! But U said yourself the stripper was a sl*t, so dont get upset!! As for your friend, did u make it clear she was WITH U, and they should NOT be hitting on her?? U should not have let it bothered u so much, but if his hands WERE all over here as u said, why did she say u got angry just cause a guy touched her? I would not bother with her again, forget about her, PLENTY more fish in the sea.

You are good looking (well at least cut and in shape), and u are studying law, why would u get angry about 2 worthless peices of sh*t!! Let your friend have some fun while he can. Although i HIGHLY doubt he will even see her again!!

Take it easy

 

[Tango-Kid]

This is a perfect example of losing the girls by showing not 100%relaxed style and confidence!! The girls are testing us, don´t forget. Don´t let their tests make you angry! Not always tests, but anyway a behaviour like that must be handled with not showing emotions.

I used to become angry for girls making their tests and that caused me to lose a lot of them. Now I have learned, and will most of the time pass the tests with a confident smile.

BUT this advice is really easy to give sitting here in front of the computer, I know how difficult it is sometimes to keep the coolness, and I admit that I can not always keep my emotions not showed. But, the good thing is that I´m progressing all the time. Maybe one day I am able to master myself in any situation with any girl!

Just take it cool and calm, and don´t take shýt from nobody. In the end you´ll stand as the winner.

Tango-Kid

'Cause if my baby don't love me no more,
I know her sister will! - Red House by Jimi Hendrix

 

[devgrp]

Yo, you need to check your friends. My friends I have have this rule. If anyone is courting a girl, she is off limits. You need to talk to you friends and let them know whats up.

Oh and its not worth losing a friendship over a girl.

 

[squirrels]

1) These guys aren't your friends if they're hitting on YOUR girl.

2) By getting bent outta shape, you blew it with girl #1.

3) Girl #2 prolly had so much VD it would've eaten through the rubber. LOL

Sounds like you run with a cool crowd in general, there.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This experience doesn't take anything away from you, if anything it shows you that the problem is with the 'quality' of chicks you chose. If she had the nerve to be all over your friend while in your presence, what do you think she was doing outside of your presence????

It is good that you found out her true character right away, and not 3 months from now that she was playing you for a chump!

Don't call her ever again!!!! Keep your dignity!!!! Never fight over a hor, you lose your self-respect!

And, "SAY NO TO HOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

[Dark Nimbus]

This sounds familiar to me. I'll tell you about a situation I was in a few months ago and maybe you can learn something from it (what not to do, haha). So I met this girl who I'll call Emma and started hanging out with her and going out with her and my/her friends. Initially I found her friend more attractive and flirted with her, but had better conversations with Emma so I ended up chatting with her quite a bit on the phone, online, and while we were out.

I told her early on that I wasn't looking for anything serious, and she sort of had a boyfriend at the time, so we spent some time just hanging out, until one night she slept over and we had sex. I kept reminding her that I'm not looking for a relationship, so one night we went out to a bar/club together for the first time, and she was flirting with a lot of guys. It's amazing how fast you realize you have some sort of feelings for a girl the moment there's a chance she could be taken away from you.

I tried to play it cool, until we went on the dance floor and she started grinding with some guy right in front of me, just a minute after I told her not to flirt with guys infront of me and to save it for a night when I'm not around to see it. Needless to say I was furious. I knew I should be cool about it, but sometimes emotions overtake logic and there's just noway to be reasonable. I just gave her a "you hoe" look and left the dancefloor, but I was pissed off the entire night, and let her know it later on when walking to the car. I told her flat out it would be the last time I saw her face, and I kept my word.

The funny part was that I was the one trying to keep her emotionaly detached from me, and the one that ended up getting a bit emotionally attached myself.

The point of my story though, is that showing any emotions around girls makes you look weak, and opens the door for the chick to test you. Emma's IL in me was fairly high the entire time, until that night where I came off looking like a jealous boyfriend. I chatted with her online a couple times after that night, only to try some experiments. I managed to say some things that evened out the playing field between us, and then turned into a jerk and got the last laugh as I got rid of her for good.

There are two problems with your situation, one being your "friends" aren't really friends if they're hitting on your girl, unless you've never had a chat with them and set some rules. Your other problem is showing her that you have some feelings for her when she didn't make it clear that she had some for you first. Both problems can be fixed with a bit of work.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Dark N,

Your situation and kong's are not a matter of 'jealousy', it is a matter of blatant 'disrespect' as a man!!

 

[CharmaLeo]

Hey Kong are these by any chance your first HB's in your life? You sound like a little boy that someone stole his candy from. I feel for you man but believe me you deserve better and better friends.

From what I gather you are pretty buffed and all but you come all inconsistent with your looks. Your friend sounds like a fat fucck but showed to be more daring to the chick, and she dug that.
You on the other hand are better looking but came out like a wimp reacting like that.

The game is not always in your looks but in your attitude. You say you are good looking and and physically fit. Act the same way and the chicks will dig you more for it.

Either ditch your so called friend or learn from him something that you don't know.

In the meantime think of the babes that you had before, calm down and full speed again.

 

[Billydee]

Good points, but I have a question:

How do you balance overblown hot-head reactions with whimpy spinless reaction?

Sure, don't fly off the handle. But if a chick is acting out of line, and you say NOTHING isn't that being a spinless whimp?

So w/ the club example, if that chick is dancing with other guys, to just tuck tail and run would be too whimpy?

What's a good response? Have fun w/ friends? Dance w/ another girl? Ignore her?

 

[DreamerZZ35]

Originally posted by squirrels
1) These guys aren't your friends if they're hitting on YOUR girl.

2) By getting bent outta shape, you blew it with girl #1.

3) Girl #2 prolly had so much VD it would've eaten through the rubber. LOL

Sounds like you run with a cool crowd in general, there.

1) dump the losers you THINK are friends... they ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. NO friend hits on his buddies woman... dont matter... if a buddy is with a woman, SHE IS OFF LIMITS

2) Who REALLY was the lady without integrity? The slut who was rallying with your supposed friend? Or the stripper who wouldnt have sex with you on the first date?

Id say you have some work to do on reading people. The slutty chick was the band chick, not the stripper... just because a girl dances does not mean she is "easy"

 

[DreamerZZ35]

Originally posted by Dark Nimbus




I tried to play it cool, until we went on the dance floor and she started grinding with some guy right in front of me, just a minute after I told her not to flirt with guys infront of me and to save it for a night when I'm not around to see it.

Yes, but in one sense do you even want to be around with a woman that would act like that in front of you? I sure as hell dont.... If a woman is going to act like a slut in front of me, that is someone who does not have the RIGHT to be in my presence. She just disqualafied herself.... Thats bad manners, and horrible protocol.

Thats IMHO, not a woman testing you that is a woman showing you that she has no moral compass.

 

[Dark Nimbus]

Originally posted by DreamerZZ35
Yes, but in one sense do you even want to be around with a woman that would act like that in front of you? I sure as hell dont.... If a woman is going to act like a slut in front of me, that is someone who does not have the RIGHT to be in my presence. She just disqualafied herself.... Thats bad manners, and horrible protocol.

Thats IMHO, not a woman testing you that is a woman showing you that she has no moral compass.

No I don't want to be with a woman like that, that's why I haven't seen her since that night. You have to realize we got along really well together and had great conversations. I went out to dinner with her, spent some time at her house, went skiing with her, and had her sleep over at my place. This was all in like a crazy 2 week span where I was out every night doing something different. She was a great girl until that moment, so it totally threw me off to see her acting so aloof and uncaring towards me. In retrospect I think she wanted to force me into some type of commitment by showing me she's available and desirable.

Either way, I don't put up with sh1t like that, and it's not even that she grinded with the guy, it's that she did it literally a minute after I told her to stop flirting with guys in front of me. She totally disrespected me, and I wanted none of it.

My friends tried to make me feel better so they even chatted up some girls and sort of left me alone with them, but my mind wasn't on anything except what the girl did, and the fact she just kept dancing without giving a damn about me. After she tried kissing me and telling me not to be mad, but I just shoved her aside and told her to get lost. It's been a while since I felt so hurt by a chick, but I suppose it was good for me in the end. It reminded me to keep a closer check on my emotions.

I'm not sure what a good way out of that situation was, I think prevention of being put in that situation was the only way to get out without getting hurt and staying cool. It's easy to say don't lose your temper, but when something like that happens to you I'll be damned if the DJ principles are the first thing on my mind. Even as "DJ's" we're not invincible to being hurt, and while we can try and control ourselves, it's not always possible.

If I had to be put in the same situation I would have changed two things. First I would have had my own car there so I didn't have to wait around for the people I came with, and second I would never have told her not to flirt, I would have just beaten her too it with some girls.