I'm ready to ask out a girl for the first time!

[Energy25]

First, a little background: I'm 20 years old, never been on a date. I get extremely shy around girls I'm attracted to, but I am ready to change. I just want some experience and practice before I go back to college in two weeks.

I have started going to a fitness club to workout, and I am interested in a girl that works there taking your card as you come in. She has probably been there about 3 times when I have been, but my dad came with me all those times, so I didn't feel comfortable trying to talk to her. Each time she was very nice and gave me great eye contact, which I failed to hold...

I will be alone from now on when I go there and she works just Thursdays and Fridays to my knowledge. So, I would like to talk to her for a little when I walk in on Thursday, and then ask her out. I am only home from college for another two weeks so I would need a date within that timeframe.

Does anyone have some advice as to how I should start a conversation with her? And is it ok to ask her out on a date after like 5 minutes of talking, if its going well? I would prefer to ask her out right then and there in person as opposed to getting her number and then asking her out that way.

 

[Ice882]

ur gonna try for ur first date and first lay (I'm assuming) in that short time frame? Idk...

good luck man.

just bring up something casual about the facility or work or ask if you forgot something here yesterday if she's seen it and then when she responds make a sly little joke out of it and then ur in rapport mode and u can go for the date.

 

[Energy25]

ur gonna try for ur first date and first lay (I'm assuming) in that short time frame? Idk...

good luck man.

just bring up something casual about the facility or work or ask if you forgot something here yesterday if she's seen it and then when she responds make a sly little joke out of it and then ur in rapport mode and u can go for the date.

Is it really that crazy to think I can get my first date in the next 2 weeks?

 

[Ice882]

Is it really that crazy to think I can get my first date in the next 2 weeks?

the combination of the two is what makes it hard. You said ur timid -- that doesn't bode well for quick advances. I'd say getting your first lay will take at least 3 dates (this is without knowing the girl or the real situation, of course).

 

[garruk]

get a phone number first, then get a date with the phone number i would say.

 

[Energy25]

the combination of the two is what makes it hard. You said ur timid -- that doesn't bode well for quick advances. I'd say getting your first lay will take at least 3 dates (this is without knowing the girl or the real situation, of course).

oh ok I see what your saying...To be honest I'm not really concerned with banging this girl before I go back to school. I've messed around with another girl before and could have had sex with her, but in all honesty chose not to because she just wasn't up to par with what I would want for my first time.

I really just want the practice and experience of TALKING and hanging around girls in general. What would a good date be to suggest to this girl? I was thinking some fun and casual like mini-golf? Not sure what else tho?

I also am planning a day to go out with one of my friends who is very good with woman and I'll just get some practice with talking to girls with him.

 

[Energy25]

get a phone number first, then get a date with the phone number i would say.

Yeah this is what I have been struggling trying to decide. So if I get the number first, how many days do I wait to call? A couple? The problem with that is I feel like if I'm going to call her and ask her out in a couple days, then why not just do it right then and there?

 

[Voice]

I'm pretty sure this girl gives good eye contact and smiles at everyone who comes in. Why? Because that's her job. Most fitness clubs put good looking, friendly girls at the desk because it helps attract male members like yourself. Don't take this as an IOI. I wouldn't recommend asking her out out of the blue. It would probably be a better idea to start talking to her and get to know if she's right for you first.

Don't put all your hopes into this one girl.

 

[Energy25]

I'm pretty sure this girl gives good eye contact and smiles at everyone who comes in. Why? Because that's her job. Most fitness clubs put good looking, friendly girls at the desk because it helps attract male members like yourself. Don't take this as an IOI. I wouldn't recommend asking her out out of the blue. It would probably be a better idea to start talking to her and get to know if she's right for you first.

Don't put all your hopes into this one girl.

My point by saying she smiles and makes good eye contact was not that she is for sure interested in me. I was just pointing out that she is the type of girl I would want to date, a confident, friendly one. And by the way, all the other girls who have the job at the front desk are not nearly as friendly as her; in fact, some are just plain bored and unfriendly.

Also, I haven't put "all my hopes" into this girl lol. I honestly wouldn't even care if she told me to "fuk off" because there are cuter girls out there and it'll be her loss, not mine. I just want some experience, that's all, whether it be in the form of rejection or a date.

 

[Iceberg]

What would a good date be to suggest to this girl? I was thinking some fun and casual like mini-golf? Not sure what else tho?

Yeah this is what I have been struggling trying to decide. So if I get the number first, how many days do I wait to call? A couple? The problem with that is I feel like if I'm going to call her and ask her out in a couple days, then why not just do it right then and there?

Hey chief. Before you worry about where to take her on a date, or how many days to wait before calling, why don't you first GET HER NUMBER.

Honestly, all these basic questions you're asking are already answered in the DJ Bible. The way you're trying to plan out ever little detail of this interaction, I'd think you would have already done the research by reading it.

Where to take her on a date. How many days to call her? You don't even have her number. What's your next question going to be? Rough sex or gentle? Where to buy the engagement ring? Get her number first, then worry about the other crap.

 

[Energy25]

Hey chief. Before you worry about where to take her on a date, or how many days to wait before calling, why don't you first GET HER NUMBER.

Honestly, all these basic questions you're asking are already answered in the DJ Bible. The way you're trying to plan out ever little detail of this interaction, I'd think you would have already done the research by reading it.

Where to take her on a date. How many days to call her? You don't even have her number. What's your next question going to be? Rough sex or gentle? Where to buy the engagement ring? Get her number first, then worry about the other crap.

In all honesty, before I made this thread I was planning on asking her out in person when I saw her, and would get her number only as a way to CONFIRM the date. So that was why I was asking about the number of days to call thing. So you're saying you always get the girls number and ask her out on the phone rather than just going ahead and doing it in person right away?

 

[Iceberg]

In all honesty, before I made this thread I was planning on asking her out in person when I saw her, and would get her number only as a way to CONFIRM the date. So that was why I was asking about the number of days to call thing. So you're saying you always get the girls number and ask her out on the phone rather than just going ahead and doing it in person right away?

On a lot of occasions, I do both. I'll steer the conversation to a bar I like, or a band coming into town. I'll say something like "The happy hour at (blank) Bar is great. You'd love it. Actually, come check it out with me. What's your number?"

But considering my schedule and the schedule of girls I date, I don't go around town expecting to arrange dates right on the spot. I don't think girls like to be forced into immediate decisions like that. It's like, right then and there this girl has to evaluate on sex with you, a relationship, marriage... I'm exaggerating to be funny, but there's some truth there.

When you're more confident, you'll have the conversation skills to have a girl so attracted to you and so intrigued by your personality that she will want to see you again after first contact. Right now you sound unsure of yourself. So just go get the number, and set up the date after.

 

[Prodigy746]

Dont do it man, you will definitely fail. She has to be nice to you as this is her job. Second you dont have experience to be smooth enough to pick up a girl that works in a gym because you have never asked a girl out. You just started so your physique is not nearly as good as the guys that have been doing it for years. Guess what those same guys w nice bodies hit on her constantly, gym is like the worst place to pickup girls because most gym's there are probably 10guys to 1 girl.

Id say it would be much easier for you to pick up girls in college classroom, college campus etc etc.

 

[r0cky]

Is it really that crazy to think I can get my first date in the next 2 weeks?

Yes.
Cmon dude, you couldnt even hold eye contact with her, who are you fooling.

 

[Ice882]

I say try it. Everyone tries to discourage everyone else here.

 

[Voice]

My point by saying she smiles and makes good eye contact was not that she is for sure interested in me. I was just pointing out that she is the type of girl I would want to date, a confident, friendly one. And by the way, all the other girls who have the job at the front desk are not nearly as friendly as her; in fact, some are just plain bored and unfriendly.

Also, I haven't put "all my hopes" into this girl lol. I honestly wouldn't even care if she told me to "fuk off" because there are cuter girls out there and it'll be her loss, not mine. I just want some experience, that's all, whether it be in the form of rejection or a date.

Good, then I think you have the right attitude. Like you said, rejection won't bother you so then why not spit a little game at her? If you want this experience then what's stopping you? Go do it man, and if you fail, then like you said so what, it's a learning experience. It's a win win. Let yourself fail because that's what is gonna cause growth.

 

[r0cky]

I say try it. Everyone tries to discourage everyone else here.

We're just being realistic. Heck I bet $100 that he wont do it. I dont even care whether she will say yes or not.

 

[Energy25]

On a lot of occasions, I do both. I'll steer the conversation to a bar I like, or a band coming into town. I'll say something like "The happy hour at (blank) Bar is great. You'd love it. Actually, come check it out with me. What's your number?"

But considering my schedule and the schedule of girls I date, I don't go around town expecting to arrange dates right on the spot. I don't think girls like to be forced into immediate decisions like that. It's like, right then and there this girl has to evaluate on sex with you, a relationship, marriage... I'm exaggerating to be funny, but there's some truth there.

When you're more confident, you'll have the conversation skills to have a girl so attracted to you and so intrigued by your personality that she will want to see you again after first contact. Right now you sound unsure of yourself. So just go get the number, and set up the date after.

Alright yeah that makes a lot of sense. I don't want to put her on the spot and expect to make an exact date right away. I'll get the number. Thanks! I'm just going to keep trying to improve in any way I can!

 

[Energy25]

Good, then I think you have the right attitude. Like you said, rejection won't bother you so then why not spit a little game at her? If you want this experience then what's stopping you? Go do it man, and if you fail, then like you said so what, it's a learning experience. It's a win win. Let yourself fail because that's what is gonna cause growth.

Exactly! Thanks man!

 

[perseverance]

I say try it. Everyone tries to discourage everyone else here.

I agree.

He should try it, but perhaps it will be best if he builds up some rapport by doing it. When I first started asking women out, I'd go for the number near enough straight away without building up some interest via a short conversation. It can work, but I find you usually come off as too strong for their liking, but it's a great way to practise and what's the worst that will happen? A rejection.