I am beyond lost I feel. I must say, and I am sorry to drag any of you into this, but rather than using this website as to finding a solution, I have turned it into my personal venting post. I get the idea of what is said on here, but can't for some reason apply it to my own life. I am not even happy with my own life, so yeah, how can I expect anyone to be happy with me? My big thing bothering me the most is this lack of or inexperience with women/sex/relationships.
Either I am lazy or work at a slower place, or missed out on some part in my own development. Since I was about 16, I have been this way. That's 7 years. All throughout youth, and now even young adulthood, nothing. Well, that's not true, I had sex a few times, a few years back, and now, I just can't seem to get back up on the horse.
Maybe I feel unatractive, maybe cause I don't have, or can't even tell, if anyone is even interested in me. I am mostly a hermit I guess. If not at work or school, I am go out, shopping,etc, or lounge around my own house, trying to break free of this. I feel I lack action for various social situations. I have no gf, f-buddy,etc.
I realize, quality over quantity, but I can't even seem to find that. I mean, I feel there is this big void in my life in regards to these different aspects, and I feel, without outright saying it, I want people to feel some sort of sympathy for me. Or, it's maybe even some sense of immaturity or even hyperactivity from possibly being a little attention starved.
Or, it feels like I really don't know how to just "be myself", in the best possible light. Or, I don't have a method, I have read about the routines, ****y/funny,confidence,social proof,etc, but feel I have a hard time getting them or working them into and for me. In a sense, I don't like alot of people, sometimes I am even angry at people when they didn't even do anything to me, it's just the type of person they could be. Or, it's feeling like not having something to use to my advantage. Like as talked about in this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=154667
I mean, the whole point seems to make her feel like crap, while making you feel good, so she wants you more, as discussed on here. I mean, do different things really work on different looking girls? Or, I just feel like or don't realize my own talents and skills. I mean, I spend copious amounts of time on the computer, so that says alot there doesn't it? I guess it is this lack of confidence. Or, it's a lack of what attracts, super charisma personality, solid, mentally and physically challenging hobby, a grand major in school that will benefit me, etc. Like it says, if you are nothing, you will attract nothing, and that's what scares me. Something is wrong, could it be a personality flaw? Or, it's not having mastered things like getting her to know if she will sleep with you within 5 minutes of meeting you. I also feel angry at the increasing superficiality in the world.
