im not ready for a relationship

Firestar786

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so long story short:

had a new neighbour move into the apartments where i live. the management agency gave her my phone number so her and I could arrange parking next to each other.
She texts me and I arrange to go over to talk to her. After discussing the parking she messages me saying thanks for coming over.

I then thought she was a nice girl so I thought id try to get with her. So I messaged her back making small talk and she was fairly receptive. Later that evening at 1am she offered for me to visit her at her apartment, but instead I asked her to come visit me. We spent the early morning together then she left to go home to sleep.

The following few days later she text me and I persuaded her to come over of which she said well if I come over I'd stay till 6am then go to work. I said thats cool, come and stay over. That evening after eating with her we went to bedroom and started to make out. She seemed as if she wanted sex but we never did - her saying that we're not dating therefore she wont sex me. OK I thought. I then offered her to come out on a date the following day.

The following day she came over for our date and we went out. We came back later in the evening and she got into the bed, and we had sex of which she stayed over that night.

The following day after that she saw me, and I tried to have sex again but she told me she wasnt in the mood.

The following day after that she came over, we had sex again and then she went home to go to sleep for work.

I then discussed with her a few days after that where this is headed and she said shes not ready for a relationship. She said she wasnt over her ex at one point, and then told me she was over her ex.

I told her Im not interested in being FB's or anything and Id rather be with a woman properly or not at all. She put the phone down and I thought well thats that and it was fun whilst it lasted. She started to text me how shes not ready and her ex was abusive etc etc. In the end she said good night and I said goodbye to her.

I dont understand. I layed her twice and it was going quite well then she comes out with this 'im not ready' crap - I got pissed off so I asked her whats the point of it? I'm not prepared to wait 2-3weeks whilst she makes her mind up as to how she feels about this. Shes either with me properly or not at all.

Opinions guys?
 

( . )( . )

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Firestar786 said:
I told her Im not interested in being FB's or anything and Id rather be with a woman properly or not at all.
Why would you say that? It's her job to push for a relationship, not yours.

Personally I'd stick a fork in it and I would definitely not have got pissed off with her. For whatever reason it looks like she has low interest.
 

Die Hard

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Firestar, I understand you, but it just doesn't work this way... If you want a relationship with her, you need to play it cool and make her want it, until she finally asks for it herself.

It's just another rule of the game, you'll see it repeated over SoSuave a lot if you do some exploration: The woman has to be the one who pushes for a relationship.

EDIT: Tits posted his reply while I was writing my post. See how he also pointed at the same rule I just mentioned? Internalize that rule and apply it to your future dealings with women. I'd forget about the current woman if I were you.
 

El Suave

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You now learned one of the most important lessons; a man should never ask for exclusivity! Let her ask you where this is going, let her wonder. You said you don't want to wait 2-3 weeks till she makes up her mind, but it takes time for everybody to develop some feelings, men and women.

When you asked "where this is going?", you came off as desperate. Time to read the DJ bible and the many threads on here. It will really open your eyes if you want to listen
 

Igetit!

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Opinions guys?
Opinions? Well it's pretty simple what happened here man....


YOU SCREWED UP DUDE.

Yep....I said YOU.

Everything was going well,up until you said this....

"I then discussed with her a few days after that where this is headed"


That's not your job,dude. You're the guy,you're just supposed to go for the sex. SHE'S THE ONE who's supposed to bring up relationship talk.

You should have just continued as you were...going out on dates and having sex. She would have been the one to try to define the relationship. Now she feels like you're asking more of her than she's ready to give.

A woman will have sex with a guy the first time she meets him. But it takes weeks into months before she's ready to COMMIT. She feels like you're asking for too much too soon....and SHE'S RIGHT.

So don't be shocked if you get the ole' "I need space" line from her anytime soon.



I dont understand. I layed her twice and it was going quite well then she comes out with this 'im not ready' crap - I got pissed off so I asked her whats the point of it? I'm not prepared to wait 2-3weeks whilst she makes her mind up as to how she feels about this. Shes either with me properly or not at all.

Well just HOW LONG have you known this girl? Dates are people hanging out and getting to know one another. You had sex with her BEFORE going out on a date. So basically,you had sex with someone who you don't really know too well. Her too. And now,you're trying to get into a relationship with this person........who you don't know too well.


You may be all gung ho to get into a relationship with a stranger......but SHE AIN'T. She'll have sex cause of attraction,but a relationship requires TRUST......and trust requires TIME.


All you've done was increase the chances of her running off,or if she does decide to have a relationship with you,YOU BRINGING IT UP only further pushed it off into the future.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

LMFAO

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Yes she thinks you're being too serious with her.

Even though for all intents and purposes you may think it's the right thing to do telling a girl you rather be in a relationship with her than just a f**k buddy - well it's not, especially in such early phases.

Been there, done that.

At this stage she wants some validation and jizz. As her "feelings" develop she may want more.

A man's frame should be aloof and indifferent. As if he's f**king other girls as well. Would James Bond say that? F**k no.

You still have a chance with her. Just go NC for 3-4 days. Then just happen to see her outside "by coincidence" and start talking to her. Then start banging her again like nothing happened.
 

marmel75

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WTF is wrong with you???? Are you fvcking serious right now?

Dude, do you have testosterone in your body or estrogen? That's some b!tch sh!t right there...its your job to bang her senseless while she worries about the relationship status...

Great job scaring her away by acting clingy
 

nismo-4

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Way to go motherf**ker!

You asked for a relationship, it's her job to do that. Now you're sorry!

Case closed. It's a lost cause.
 
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