I'm not just a vagina!

[patrick.de]

So I have this girl in class who's 28 (I'm 22) and we've been chatting a bit every now and then. We met on a party last week, got hammered and banged that night.
She told me she didn't really like me in the beginning of the year but then changed her mind.

We exchanged numbers and talked through IM mostly, met two or three times at uni.
We had a seminar on wednesday at 4PM and I asked her if she wanted to go have a drink beforehand, she couldn't make it tho. After class I assumed she wanted to go home and when we said bye she turned and said "why don't we go grab a drink now?", so we did. We chatted and were talking about sex quickly, just like on IM. It's mainly her initiating sex talk through ambiguities.

We talked on IM an hour ago and I asked her what plans she had for the weekend, and she said she'd do this and that, and I said that's not very relaxing.
She interpreted this as "we should hang out and bang" and after a bit more of this kind of talk she went "I'm not just a vagina, I'm also a human being blabla..." and "according to you we'd just have sex all the time and never talk." She told me to sell her ticket for a party we planned to attend with some friends next week and went pretty damn cold on me.

I told her that it's in my genes to want to bang a ton and I'm just a guy, I'm sorry if I was too persuasive and tactless with it.
She said yeah, think about it, blabla and she'd tell me later if she wanted to come.
Yea, I guess was pushing her a bit, after we had some drinks I asked if she wanted me to come with her when I dropped her at the trainstation, but that's mostly it. All the ambiguous sex talk was initiated by her and she seemed to enjoy it. I even mentioned some regular stuff in-between so it doesn't sound too needy.

I realize now that I was kind of persuasive but is it really that bad? I know other people do nothing but banging all day long and girls dig it. Why did she go home with me that night in the first place if it isn't all about sex?
I can't imagine having a relationship with her, simply because of the age difference. Does she?
I'm steering towards a friends with benefits/****buddy solution and I don't think talking for three days and banging for one day is the defintion of that, is it?

Edit: That night she was very cuddly and all, is this a sign of relationship crap incoming?

 

[Night-hawk]

Sounds like you didn't handle her well.

For one she is 28 and you are 22...she is getting older and probably doesn't want a young guy to waste her time. And naturally at her age she is probably thinking longer term, provider, baby, playing house. But it may have just been a test due to get getting used in the past. Be that as it may, taking what she said literally is not going to do much for ya. She may have read your vibe and figured all you want is sex and how easy you are...you gotta give her some challenge.

Second, she went home with you because she was into you, and horny. It also could have been used as a hook.

Third, you avoid explaining things to girls, especially after they toss a line out like she did. And no you weren't persuasive. If you were you would have turned things around on her and 'persuaded' her to feel that she isn't just a bang toy.

You are enabling her to set the frame with you two now. You needed to have re-framed her right when she brought up the vagina thing.

"That's what I was thinking...that I'm not just a nice **** to play with...Sometimes sex isn't all that matters, girl...geesh."

I would think you'd still have it in with this girl, just ignore the relationship idea, don't explain things to her, and show her good times. Make her feel you actually are worth spending time with and not just a horny school boy...control those desires man. But if she is going to try and guilt you in anyway about sex or use her ***** to get what she wants then put her in her place. If she doesn't comply then spin more plates.

 

[backbreaker]

you could not have played that situtation any better than you did.

keep in mind having sex is not the end game. you had a successful interaction beucase you managed to find out on jump that what she wanted and what you wanted were not the same thing. I consider that successful. You arne't interested in what she requires a man to do to get in her pants you can tell by her behavior that she is a reconfirmed bar slut who realizes her tits aren't getting any perkier and it's time to try to find a seat on the musical chairs.

so she is trying to reform all her old behaviors beucase in her mind all her old behaviors got her to where she is now, 28 used and no long term options. the only viable alternative in her mind is to make a man wait and show that he likes "her for her". I understand the logic. it's wrong logic, but i understand it.

you basiclaly said look, that's not what i want. you didn't' waste weeks on end pretending like you give a **** about having a long term relationship.

i am the exact same way on dates. i am what you would call extremely agressive. i understand that if a woman is attracted to you and likes the thought of having sex with you that is there the first time she sees you. you can't create attraction but you can lose it. within the first 30 mins of a date i know if i am wasting my time or not. if not she can go. no hard feeligns, no i do'nt feel bad about wanting to have sex with you. even my wife was all over me within 45 mins of our first date.

see, when she said she did not like you at first but came around to you that right there should have told you everything you needed to know. in other words, when i first saw you i was not very attracted to you but over the time i have seen some traits in you that i think would make good LTR material and you aren't ugly so what the hell.

 

[springWater]

For one she is 28 and you are 22...she is getting older and probably doesn't want a young guy to waste her time. And naturally at her age she is probably thinking longer term, provider, baby, playing house.

I agree at that age a women will be thinking and getting more anxious about her bio-clock, for a women 35 is getting last minute to have a child.

 

[PapiChulo]

Stop talking about sex all the time. You tell her you want to get to "know" her as a person, while reaching in for her tits and as$- the right way to do that. The other thing is that she did not like you at first. What does she mean? Did she not like your personality or she didnt find you 'hot' and sexy at first ? How is the sex? I feel like she may tell you she wants to have your babe soon, and a diamond ring.

 

[patrick.de]

lol what?
we talked a couple times at university and banged once, then hung out once and talked a bit over IM. i don't think she'll ask for a baby anytime soon

 

[perseverance]

lol what?
we talked a couple times at university and banged once, then hung out once and talked a bit over IM. i don't think she'll ask for a baby anytime soon

You'd be surprised...