I'm new to SS, I would like to know how I handled this....

[MegamanXL]

Ok so I haven't posted for ages but always been reading.

So I ended up getting into an LTR with this girl for 2 years haha! We split up 3-4 months ago because I didn't 'change' and and went massive AFC after the split, love letters, flowers you name it. Anyway, I never gave up in that time. No responses, being ignored and all the rest.

So just 2 weeks ago we met up so I could give her stuff back, she sees te alpha change, better guy and improved. We talk, all is good. We hang out for a couple of weeks having fun.

Ask her to hangout on multiple days I'm free, she makes up excuses so I figure she is playing games or doesn't want anything so I imply she could lose the oppurtunity to hang again. The next part makes me cringe as the AFC beast inside me got excited and I lose my cool, convo follows:

Her: I'm babysitting Friday
Me: That's cool, you know we could have a great, passionate night together and it would be a shame to lose that oppurtunity.
Her: Passionate?
Me: Yes....
Her: As in?
Me: As in, imagine (some crap I can't remember about electricity dancing over skin and feeling like she is floating I a cloud, Michael fiore crap)
Her: Right. That's it. We can't hang out anymore. Bye.
Me: I was only describing passionate, that's a bit of a harsh reaction.
Her: No!! I can't let you think like this, it's not fair on you.
Me: You don't. I don't want to be your boyfriend. I just think we should talk face to face to clear the air so we can stay friends on good terms.

No reply.

That was 2 days ago.

Anyway to save this because obviously I want to get her back but I'm willin to walk away because I don't want to be the only one putting effort in.

Do I go ganji games on her? Wait for her to initiate? Just screw and say I want to fack her? Offer her out next weekend during the week? Or tell her we can't be friends because I love her?

What's the best course? I don't like leaving it like this because she probably thinks I don't love her when I do. If I'm going out for good do I offer her out and if she refuses, tell her I love her and can't be friends? Or just tell her I want to fack her?

Any advice appreciated. Stay true, don't let the AFC demon sit on your chest.

 

[AttackFormation]

No girl has ever told me she is sick and then agreed, let alone counter-offered or later suggested when she got fresh to meet up. I guess it worked for you though

 

[MegamanXL]

Haha! Didn't answer any of my questions though AttackFormation!

 

[MegamanXL]

Is her hamster spinning or does she not give a fack? She is expecting me to show the AFC behaviour I have in the past by begging and pleading but I'm not.

 

[AttackFormation]

My answers in bold.

Ok so I haven't posted for ages but always been reading.

So I ended up getting into an LTR with this girl for 2 years haha! We split up 3-4 months ago because I didn't 'change' and and went massive AFC after the split, love letters, flowers you name it. Anyway, I never gave up in that time. No responses, being ignored and all the rest.

You didn't split up, she dumped you

So just 2 weeks ago we met up so I could give her stuff back, she sees te alpha change, better guy and improved. We talk, all is good. We hang out for a couple of weeks having fun.

Why are you hanging with your ex? get a move on

Ask her to hangout on multiple days I'm free, she makes up excuses so I figure she is playing games or doesn't want anything so I imply she could lose the oppurtunity to hang again. The next part makes me cringe as the AFC beast inside me got excited and I lose my cool, convo follows:

She makes up excuses - part ways already. She doesn't care about "losing the opportunity" and the worst part is you're backsliding to AFC with her

Her: I'm babysitting Friday
Me: That's cool, you know we could have a great, passionate night together and it would be a shame to lose that oppurtunity.
Chill out there Romeo, this isn't theatre repetition. And why are you talking like this with her anyway? she's your ex.
Her: Passionate?
"What the f*ck is this guy saying? oh my god..."
Me: Yes....
Her: As in?
Me: As in, imagine (some crap I can't remember about electricity dancing over skin and feeling like she is floating I a cloud, Michael fiore crap)
BEEEEP
Her: Right. That's it. We can't hang out anymore. Bye.
You set off the AFC alarm. If you're gonna give her a passionate whatever then do it with your actions, don't say it to her. Would Aragon say what you just said to Arwen or would he do it?
Me: I was only describing passionate, that's a bit of a harsh reaction.
Her: No!! I can't let you think like this, it's not fair on you.
"I can't let you think of us in a sexual way because you repulse me so much I feel sorry for how much of a hopeless AFC you are. I thought maybe you changed after you showed some signs and/or I gave you a chance, but now I see your weak core coming through and you're the same chump you were back when I dumped you. This isn't gonna happen, I don't wanna hurt your feelings"
Me: You don't. I don't want to be your boyfriend. I just think we should talk face to face to clear the air so we can stay friends on good terms.
It's too late for you to try to save face, in fact it only makes you more of a spineless AFC in her eyes. You're trying to lie to her and maybe yourself when you say you want to "stay friends on good terms". How much of an idiot do you think she is, really? don't you think she can see your real character coming through here?

No reply.
No sh!t

That was 2 days ago.

Anyway to save this because obviously I want to get her back but I'm willin to walk away because I don't want to be the only one putting effort in.

There we go, "I want her back". Every guy who comes here and writes about how he's "just having fun" or "just talking to" or "just whatever" about their ex cracks and lets his true sentiment out sooner or later, one way or another.

Do I go ganji games on her? Wait for her to initiate? Just screw and say I want to fack her? Offer her out next weekend during the week? Or tell her we can't be friends because I love her?

If you want to remain an AFC then these are excellent choices instead of ceasing contact and moving on.

What's the best course? I don't like leaving it like this because she probably thinks I don't love her when I do. If I'm going out for good do I offer her out and if she refuses, tell her I love her and can't be friends? Or just tell her I want to fack her?

Dude, for real - why are you thinking about LOVE with her??? splash some water on your face man and wake up. She is OVER you.

Offer her out? BEEP
Tell her you love her? BEEP
Tell her you can't just be friends with her after you've again shown yourself to be an AFC, and with your current frame? BEEP

Any advice appreciated. Stay true, don't let the AFC demon sit on your chest.Demon huh? well you have some exorcism ahead of you. Like a lot of guys, you are trying to trick yourself that you have now progressed but it's just a charade. All you need to do is quit lying to yourself and move on, that's it.

 

[MegamanXL]

Yeah I know that's all true.. So why is she hanging out with her ex? I'm no orbiter by any means. I only text when I am doing something and she should join me, ie. Date set up.

I'm prepared to ditch her, doesn't bother me. Just wether I should go out with a bang or tell the truth. I've read on HERE of occasions when the last ditch attempt of telling the truth has won the girl...but I like the going out with a bang idea.....

 

[AttackFormation]

Well it's your life, do what you feel is right. I confirmed the truth you already knew, there's nothing more anyone can do for you. Stay strong

 

[MegamanXL]

I'm buckling.... I am facking hulk hogan....I want to tell her.... Me occupying my time over the weekend is just me gambling and getting drunk. It amounts to more than that. I want her but I'm down with fackin this **** off 'cause I can't be arsed. What is the DJ play? I'm lost now, because I'm infatuated.

 

[stevo]

Lol.

You are being your worst enemy.

An American girl would file a restraining order on your behind Mr Head-in-the-clouds.

If you have a single drop of love for yourself and whatever respect and self worth you have left, you would delete this girl from every platform.

Stay away from women for at least a month.

If you'd fcuk this girl again, it'd be months down the line with you not doing a thing.

So everytime you think to do something, remind yourself that's just further confirming her decision to stay as far away from you as possible.

Stop working against yourself.

 

[MegamanXL]

Thanks Stevo. Honestly, the confusing **** that has been pulled, (yeah I withheld some info) is just mind boggling.

Obviously I'm doing something wrong because she has asked me to be her boyfriend 3 times now. You can't stop nature and destiny bro, and I'm a science guy...

Stay away? I'm facking randy dude and ready to blow! No porn for over 2 weeks! That's good in my eyes.

 

[stevo]

Yes, stay away. You have a lot of work to do on yourself , you seem very very desperate, hopefully you're not stalking this girl.

If you pursue a chicken, it'd run.

If you leave the chicken alone, it'd come back to you. Don't forget this analogy.

No girl is obligated to meet your sexual needs, she could try if she wants but it doesn't have to be her responsibility.

If you wanna get laid then quite afcing and start fishing out of the other billions of girls that are actually available

 

[MegamanXL]

Agreed and appreciated.

Funny thing is, our pet names are chicken and turkey.

I can't be bothered with long game with this one. Too much emotional ****e comes with it. The AFC in me is like a scene from Alien...

 

[MegamanXL]

I'm gonna go against everything I've been told and know. I'm prepared to lose but I could gain. Who cares.

Gonna blow a lot of sheet out of the water if this works, I'll keep you posted....

 

[ThePiGuy]

Do what you have to do bro, in the end it's your decision. If whatever happens works then power to you I suppose and if not just learn from your mistakes and always seek to improve.

 

[skinnyguy]

Difference between men and women:

Man has mono, cancer, and a heart attack...still goes on date.

Woman sneezes, cancels date.

 

[Zarky]

she sees te alpha change, better guy and improved.

No she doesn't.

Just walk away bro, that's the only advice I can give you.

I'm gonna go against everything I've been told and know. I'm prepared to lose but I could gain. Who cares.

Gonna blow a lot of sheet out of the water if this works, I'll keep you posted....

Always fun when people come for advice and then carry out their original (deluded) plan anyway.

 

[AttackFormation]

Always fun when people come for advice and then carry out their original (deluded) plan anyway.

The mark of the blue pill.

 

[salinechow]

Drugs? Seriously. Drugs? This dude might get locked up. He better leave her alone for everyones sake. There is literally 0 chance here.

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo has reviewed this case.

She wasn't interested in you. All that flaking? I go by the ONE STRIKE rule for new women. You flake, you're out. Two strikes is too many for me.

She's sick, no she was not interested. Stops answering her phone? Dropped. Death in the family? I'd still go ghost because this is the seemingly new excuse that covers up low interest. She wouldn't be suddenly sick if Brad Pitt asked her on a date, just like you wouldn't be sick if Katy Perry asked you on a date.

You lost. You failed. She's done. What other clues do you need? Oh yeah, the only interest is a woman showing up to a date and banging you. Anything else outside of that is fluff and has no value. And women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

Your princess is in another castle. Move the f**k on. Delete her from every platform. Block her if it helps you.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

 

[old_skoolr]

Count this as a lesson OP. In future girls who flake usually follow the same trends so you'll learn to pick them up as you keep doing this. For now all you can do is try and try. Experience is key in the dating game.