I'm new to SS, I would like to know how I handled this....

[MegamanXL]

And any advice for the first date if it happens. Gonna Next if she flakes again.

Ok so Hi, I'm new here loving the threads you guys all talk about. Very enjoyable read and I have scoured for hours over everything here and in the bible. I know why am I asking this then?

Simple reason I just want to know how I am handling this plate.

Ok so cut to the chase....... Met bitty, got number set up date for Thursday just gone. She flakes saying 'crap cant do Thursday, what tou doing Friday? Counter- offers. ( made me think I was her only plate ). Sooooo........ Convo unfolds like this...... ( I know it's newb but I'm interested in responses, if any )

Me: *made a joke*
Her: Lmfao I don't know whether to take you seriously
Me: Ok seriously.......me and you at XYZ place XYZ time
Her: Sounds like a man with a plan lol
Me: Cool I'll see you there

1 Day NC

Today 4 hours before a simple drinks at a bar meet.......

Her: I was ill last night so can't come out tonight
Me: Ok, well, How will you make it up to me?
Her: I will meet you on Sunday?

I was busy so 45 mins later.....

Me: Hmmmmmm ok, same place, 6:00pm
(original meet for today was 8:30pm so I know she is kinda shy and being a Sunday I pushed the time back to make her feel more comfortable )
Her: Ok then

Any thoughts appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[MegamanXL]

The key factors that are being missed, for me, are........

She flaked the Thursday, cause she was 'busy'

But now she says 'she was I'll last night' ( Thursday )

Sh1t test or low IL?

1 strike whatever her game is.

 

[VladPatton]

Could be legit. She counter offered and agreed to a 2nd meet. Go forward, all is well so far.

The text "Her: Lmfao I don't know whether to take you seriously" means you're doing something right and she is on her toes about you. Very good.

Keep us posted, and good luck.

 

[MegamanXL]

Will do. After Sunday we will know.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Girls these days have tons of options, many are actually "busy", they are flighty and fickle (remember: they go on emotions, so if she said "yes" to a date several days ago, she was probably feeling it then, but when the day came up several dozens of things could influence how she "feels" about going out on that date on the day of.

Deal with it, but also balance that with signals of lack of interest. You seem to be doing well so far.

She's in the middle zone right now. She showed interest, agreed to a date, canceled, but suggested another time and seems into to it.

Typical chick behavior that could go either way. At least she's putting a bit of effort to agree to see you (which means nothing until you actually meet her out at agreed time/place).

Still, she's probably not "snipering" you ... i.e., it is not a situation where she's only got you in her sights and she's just playing female games. As with a lot of women, she likely has several guys on her radar, just for the reason that many more guys pursue women than vice-versa.

So, sure, she is playing female game (she has no choice, whether she realizes this or not), but not in the way you are.

She ain't posting on boards asking about "this one guy" she's interested in.

She likely has several suitors, plays half interested/half aloof with them, while living the "liberated girl" life. That's pretty much the common thing these days. What would you be forced to do if it was the other way around? That is, what would you do if you had a constant stream of females approaching you, talking to you, texting you, flirting, etc., etc.?

A moderately attractive woman is forced to live a life of plate theory.

So, play it cool. Show interest, but (1) don't dote, smother, or be easy, (2) don't continue pursuing if she doesn't reciprocate your interest with her ACTIONS, not just words.

If she doesn't act in a way that actually gets you two out in a dating/sexual way, then move on. It is not that she has "no interest", it's that it isn't high enough for her to make you any sort of priority.

Don't get bitter.

Don't drive a wedge between you two.

Fade out, pursue other women, interact with her when you see her like life is normal.

Do not bring it to some tension breaking apex.

Just divert your attention elsewhere and friendzone her (i.e, start treating her like you do women in your circle that you have no sexual attraction/intention to). And then turn your attention to other women without malice or jadedness about the failed seduction.

This way, she'll not be alienated by you and (1) can work her as a pivot as she'll endorse you to other women and you can be seen in her presence as pre-selection and/or (2) as you are in her life less and less over time (but still on good terms) there remains the possibility of a "reset" months or years down the line.

Don't burn the bridge but totally re-work how she/the situation fits into your life in a way kills the stress, worry, concern, anxiety.

If it doesn't not add to your life, question whether it is worth pursuing. Act accordingly.

 

[MegamanXL]

Repped all night long.

But don't forget she isn't the only plate and the only attention I give her is meet me at XYZ...... She flaked..... She's got one more chance otherwise Next, her loss.

I agree, why would she bother saying XYZ day to meet me if.....

(a) She had no IL what so ever

(b) Gaming me, if so Sunday will prevail cause it will be next.

Of course she isn't "snipering" me....... She's a cub leader FFS.......all innocent and that which entices me even more cause she is blatantly a demon in bed having to act all innocent all the time. She knows it too cause the 'convo's' we have had I've implied she is a naught girl and she gets all shy and doesn't know what to say..... Not used to the old 'sexting'.

Appreciated and please carry on cause discussion here is learning.... Learn or lie

 

[Zarky]

Her: Sounds like a man with a plan lol

That doesn't sound like a "yes" to me.

 

[Big Nuts]

If this is in England she's seen more d!ckendz than weekendz!

 

[Purefilth]

If this is in England she's seen more d!ckendz than weekendz!

WOuld love to know how you justify and qualify that answer.



Na Im just kidding, youre probably right. (Im UK too)

@ OP looks like you did fine.

But if theres another flake then NEXT.

 

[MegamanXL]

Breaking news.......

So I get this this an hour ago.....

Her: Still not feeling good from thw other day so wont be able to make tonight.aorry just feel like crap

Me: Never mind. You seem like a nice girl, I guess I was mistaken. Quality girls keep their word. See you around X

Her: Wow lol ok.cant help being ill unless you want me to text you later to see if im better.just didnt want to be coughing my guts up and feeling ****

Thoughts??

 

[Big Nuts]

Your text should have been 'k, let me know...'

...and then you should have gone NC.....spin plates, always be spinning...

 

[MegamanXL]

Yeah but this is strike two, may give her a third cause I like her but after that NEXT

 

[VladPatton]

That may of been a bit hasty. See, with the sickness excuse you never know. It really is the perfect excuse for a girl. Next time, just make as if it is no big deal. "OK, no problem" would of been fine, then you just don't contact her unless she pesters you. Now you appear sensitive and butt-hurt.

 

[MegamanXL]

Appreciated Vlad. You live you learn. I'm gonna say, 'no problem, let me know when your better'.

?????

 

[MegamanXL]

So I'm trying to save face cause I have sent mixed signals.....

I just said, 'It's cool, let me know when you better'.

NC from now on. If she want's it she knows where it's at.

 

[Hydrak]

Nah dont, you screwed it up with this one. Just remove her number and proceed to the next line of girls. If she flakes, act like you dont care.

Btw, your comment was pretty good. Since you wanted to drop her, you dropped a last neg so she'll have something to think about when making worthless excuses the next time. You showed her that you dont tolerate excuses and flakes, something you should have done after the first flake.

 

[MegamanXL]

Balls in her court now, I'm not fussed. NC and NEXT. If she contacts she has to work for respect now.

 

[Vidrio]

You didn't screw anything up. She had low IL and flaked on you three times. All you can do is drop her.

 

[MegamanXL]

I'm thinking the same thing.....

It's all on her now, I'm not saying sh1t unless she pursues.

 

[Kevin Matthew]

Even if she does pursue again, make her work. Make her suggest a date. Or, if you really wanna be king. DEAD HER when she comes back. One of the most satisfying things I've ever said to a woman was "No, I don't want to get together."

Knocked her right off her high-horse.