I'm new here... I've been lurking and need some advice.

[durrr]

Hello everyone. I've been lurking this site for a week now and finally decided to post.

I've been dating this beautiful girl for the last 4 months. She was ringing my up (She is a cashier) We hit it off and I was going to ask if I can leave her my number and before I knew it she gave me hers.

Things have been ****ty lately mainly because of me. I can admit that... Negative attitude. We talked so much up until things got weird. She even came to me with some heavy problems. She felt very comfortable with me. Up until I started overreacting and over thinking things. I noticed her texting this guy she works with. This guy also drives her home from work sometimes. One night she slept over my place and we are laying in bed and this dude starts texting her. And I asked her whats going on? She says he texted her a pic of this girl he was dating. Ughh I lost it and told her how would you feel if I was in your bed texting some girl? I was pissed at the time but regret my actions! Even tho the next day was great between us it was still in my head.

Things have just been so off... I started coming off needy. And I even got to the point where I told her I don't think I wanna do this anymore. I really like her and care about her but this is hard. I try keeping the communication maybe it' too late to fix this mess. We talked on Monday and she said maybe we can do something on Thursday because she works all weekend... I've stayed very positive and confident. Hurts because I haven't seen this girl in like 2 weeks. And we used to hang out a lot she would always come to me. Texting isn't like it used to be AT ALL...

Appreciate any help!

 

[GotED?]

Hey dude, welcome on your new journey to become a new man - read the DJ Bible (at the top of the main page with a link) and start changing your thinking about women.

Per your situation - you must think about what kind of 'Frame' did you establish at the beginning of dating this woman of yours? Did you SUPPLICATE to all her needs in the beginning, and she THINKS it is acceptable to do just about anything?

So is texting another man in bed just something that recently made you all insecure, while in the first few weeks of meeting her, it wouldn't had bothered you because you haven't became so obessively controlling and possessive of her like now?

You must look at your GAME OVERALL - if you conditioned PAVLOV the DOG to DROOL at the sight of a large KOCK, you can't expect PAVLOV the DOG to SH!T at the sight of a large KOCK. This is the FRAME you established in the beginning with a woman (if any).

So did she DISRESPECT YOU? Did you think she understood after you told her? This is the critical indicator of your frame, if she respect you or NOT after telling her what is inappropriate IN YOUR MIND (maybe not in her's if you didn't establish your frame/boundaries in the beginning).

If she CONTINUES to disrespect you, you should learn to WALK AWAY and focus on other women. A real DJ will be able to walk away from a woman when disrespected continually AT ANY TIME and go NO CONTACT (forever, not just to lure her back - it is never guaranteed). This is the toughest skill to obtain as a man, and takes years of strong confidence and self-esteem to achieve. But this is all in the DJ Bible.

Lastly - and you probably won't want to believe it; when a woman is on her way out the door (usually WEEKS before the actual break-up), she will START arguing and disagreeing with you. She usually would already have another man in mind lined up while this is happening. What she is doing is WAITING for the man to do the dirty work and end the relationship, a woman will carry on hanging on a string forever because they don't want to be the bad guy doing the bad deed. Be a man and do the job.

Chew on this and move forward, good luck.

Exodus

 

[durrr]

Did you think she understood after you told her? This is the critical indicator of your frame, if she respect you or NOT after telling her what is inappropriate IN YOUR MIND

Thanks for replying man. This is something I think about and it's definitely a critical piece of why I really like this girl. Because I know she is caring. I told her I wasn't happy she is texting another guy in my BED! And turned my back and closed my eyes to sleep she instantly hugged me and cuddled with me and told me it was nothing she doesn't even talk to him like that. And he did text her so yea. But it's still in my head... She transferred to this new job while we've been dating and exchanged numbers with another guy. Is it normal to worry in that situation?

My trust issues come up from being cheated on a lot. I recently got out of a horrible 4 year relationship. It sucks.

She told me she wanted to see me tomorrow but it's been weeks since I've seen her.

 

[GotED?]

she transferred to this new job while we've been dating and exchanged numbers with another guy.

For me, that is blatantly DISRESPECTFUL to give out numbers to other men. If that was my woman, I would have nip that in the bud from the beginning.

Some things are COMMON SENSE in a relationship - did she do this BEFORE or AFTER you were exclusive? If COMMON SENSE of RESPECT does not dictate your woman's action without you having to tell her all the time, then she is a LOW QUALITY woman not worth your time and energy.

She also sounds young and immature - a real woman would know the clear boundary of why a man would ask a woman for a phone number, let alone texting another man like that during a relationship.

Women (girls are even worse) can do some serious evil game on men and act aloof, such as texting another man while in BED WITH YOU. Never under-estimate the games women play to phuck with your head. I NEXT and WALK AWAY from these types of women almost IMMEDIATELY - at my age, there are too many options out there. Let that be you one day, enough options NOT TO CARE about one single woman for too long if she phucks you in the mind.

Be well.

Exodus

 

[durrr]

She also sounds young and immature - a real woman would know the clear boundary of why a man would ask a woman for a phone number, let alone texting another man like that during a relationship.

Well thats the thing. She is 6 years younger than me. I'm 25 going on 26 in December. And she is 19. I never really cared much because she approached me and I liked her. Good energy. We aren't exclusive and maybe she doesn't know if she is being disrespectful or not. But I would think its common sense. And when we dated we had fun thats all that mattered. I have no idea what to do. I really care about this girl.

Maybe I should lay low and stop communicating. We still text everyday but it's not the same at all. Few words here and there sometimes it hurts. She mentioned she's been busy and suggested we hang out tomorrow and talk. Again I've been trying to do this with her last weekend after getting back from NY for work and the weekend before that. But she wouldn't see me for 2 weeks.


Thanks again for taking the time and replying.

 

[asa_don]

send a picture to him of you banging your girlfriend. :crackup:

why would you regret standing up for your dignity? if she can't respect you now, then she never will. 2 weeks is a long time not to see her. looks like she's lost her interest with you. look for a new girl and start texting her. why be unhappy with her?

 

[durrr]

looks like she's lost her interest with you. look for a new girl and start texting her. why be unhappy with her?

I've been thinking that too and beating myself up over it. We talked on Monday and she mentioned maybe we can do something tomorrow on Thursday.

I don't wanna just jump to the next girl. Part of me really wants to fix things and I know this is a hard thing to do sometimes almost impossible.

 

[asa_don]

I've been thinking that too and beating myself up over it. We talked on Monday and she mentioned maybe we can do something tomorrow on Thursday.

I don't wanna just jump to the next girl. Part of me really wants to fix things and I know this is a hard thing to do sometimes almost impossible.

it's whether she wants to fix things and make it work. it takes 2 to tango, if she isn't willing to do her part, it's not going to work. she should be the one to stop hanging out with this guy. if she can't do that, then it's over. by having another girl you can talk to, you will have more confidence and realize that dealing with her drama isn't worth it. if she wanted to see you, she already would have.

 

[durrr]

if she wanted to see you, she already would have.

Yea, you're definitely right about that.