I'm leaving my job, should I send her an email?

[Thorninmyside]

Probably the worst idea I've ever read on this forum ever.

From your last thread about her:

Now, we work in different areas, and I barely see her anymore. The few times I see her, we talk, but she plays with her phone, or barely talks to me. I think she probably has realized I feel something for her, and now shes acts different around me, without noticing it, I became too clingy/needy, constantly going to say hello, goodbye, whenever I go to see her, and she is with her female friends, she barely responds to me, basically don't pay attention to me, and continues talking with her friends, which means she don't really care if I go there or not. She did this a few days ago, and I just left without saying a word, I felt hurt inside, I couldn't help feeling this way.

She doesn't care. It's a one sided feeling and you need to get past it pronto. Telling her because YOU feel a need to spill it is acting out of emotion. Use your head brother. This is a very bad idea.

The best goodbye is no goodbye. Let that be the bait that tests her interest (read: none).

 

[Yewki]

Look, OP, it's obvious you have romantic feelings for her... otherwise what are you even doing here.

Given that you have romantic feelings, you have two options that make sense. Say a simple goodbye (one or two sentences) and move on, or... you say a simple goodbye and try to bang her by following up with meetup arrangements. I'm pretty sure not only will the second option fail, but it's also a pretty sh*tty idea.

So... you can do your idea and write her a detailed goodbye letter that is friendly and "plutonic" but... it's not going to help you move on, and will probably just make you look pathetic. You don't really have anything to gain by doing your idea, you'd just be succumbing to your weak AFC desires.

 

[marmel75]

i already have her phone, facebook, whatsapp lol

i dont want any chances, i dont want anything from her, i just want to say goodbye and how much means to me, i dont even tell her that i have feelings for her or anything, i dont see whats wrong with it, but i can understand why you guys say that because i think so too, that it will come off too strong, like i dont have the balls to say it in person, that i would sound like an immature kid, but at least i wanna say good bye, and tell her how much she meant to me, not necessarily that i have feelings

you mention 1 or 3 short paragraphs, that's not enough for me

Then why the fvck do you need to write some BS email?? What the fvck is wrong with you dude??

You have her phone number? Cool, here is what you do:

"Hey, Amanda(whatever her name is), wanted to let you know you won't be seeing me anymore since I recently switched employers, but I thought we could grab a drink together sometime and catch up. Let me know---YOURNAME"

The end.

Based on what you wrote about how you acted like a total chump and were constantly up her @ss at work, its obvious she probably started feeling uncomfortable with you when she realized what your true motives were.

Personally I wouldn't even bother sending this text because she is going to likely either shoot you down hard or be nice and say something like "Yeah that sounds good but I'm really busy for the next few weeks" as a way of hopefully you getting the hint. Either way I give a maybe 0.5% chance of getting her out.

 

[GotED?]

WOW

Fine example of a chap with ZERO OPTIONS.

 

[Thundernuts]

WOW

Fine example of a chap with ZERO OPTIONS.

Sadly this was me about 7 years ago.

OP i promise you if you go ahead and write your email not only will nothing come from it but also she will show it to other people. Women love to brag about guys that are all over them when they are either unavailable or uninterested.

Here is my question for you. In your last thread about her I remember very clearly that you were complaining that she was going cold and no longer responding to you around the workplace. Now its pretty clear that you do in fact love her because the title of your last thread about her was " I think I'm in love with my 45 yr old coworker". If i recall you also said that it was platonic love. Thing is that is something that guys keep for other men. I have a best friend I've known since I was 4 years old, I love that guy, he's my brother. That kind of mutual respect is a bond that takes a long time to establish as well as maintain. Usually when you have that with a woman its because your in a LTR with her. Women don't understand this principle because they are wired differently then we are. The rules change when it comes to men and women, and I think somewhere along the lines you got confused and are mistaking this lady who isn't really interested in you as someone special. I'm not saying that you cannot have platonic love with a woman, I'm just saying that it is something that takes time, and most male-to-female interactions are either professional or they are courting, woman don't usually assume that you just want to be friends, thats just the lie they use to tell their boyfriends.

I told her many times that I only go to that area for her. She told me that she is gonna leave in a few months, I think she noticed my sadness, I almost cried when she said that.

This act right here is what killed it, women notice alot of emotions, sadness, anger, infatuation...

... I have lost friends in the past, for becoming too clingy, or acting stupid, it is probably because of my upbringing, never experienced love, never had friends, and when I find someone that cares about me, and I really care about, I become too clingy, too possessive

Sounds to me like you need to evaluate who you try to befriend, if this is what I think it is then you are trying to be friends with women that either you are attracted to or they are flirty to you. You need to stop this and start hanging out with some guys to get a social circle going. As it stands right now if you try and date someone they easily become your focus because you don't have anyone else to satisfy your urge to communicate with other people, that makes you clingy, say stupid ****, and eventually your gonna creep her out.

This woman at work is nothing special, she was most likely just loving the attention of having a younger guy around who she knew was interested in her. Every Attention wh0re I've ever seen in action would only allow their orbiter to massage/hold hands when they were alone, when she is with her friends its another story. If you send anything other than 2 sentences (who am I kidding:crackup she will just show it to her girlfriends and they will laugh about it for a little while.

OP, I hope I've given you some stuff to think about, feel free to pm if you want to talk more but please don't send that damn email.

 

[latino158]

^^^ I sent her a simple whatsapp, telling her that I will not longer be working there, It was nice meeting her and working together, maybe we can see each other someday again, but if not, i will always remember you, good luck

that is all I sent, and now she is asking me what happened, why did i leave, etc, I still haven't responded, is probably better if I don't

 

[Solomon]

Latino I know you trolling but still have you moved out your mommy's and Daddy's house yet?

 

[thatfeel]

Are you guys still discussing this sh!t? Move along fellows.

 

[skinnyguy]

Lol instead of chasing old married hags you should be chasing 22 year old HB's who don't have baggage and don't work with you.

 

[latino158]

Latino I know you trolling but still have you moved out your mommy's and Daddy's house yet?

I'm inside your mom as we speak