I'm in love with my girlfriend, but I can't stop dreaming about fvcking other girls

[Brighty]

Like seriously, it's ridiculous. I just turned 23 and a few months ago I met this amazing LA actress who I get along with perfectly and it's the most healthiest relationship I've ever been in, I'm in love with her and she loves me and we literally never get in any serious fights or arguments. She's witty, charming, sexy, smart, and doesn't turn into a total ***** when she's on her period (which lord knows is a huge plus).

Almost every other night I have dreams about hooking up with other girls or "pursuing" them, some are just random hot girls and others are girls from my high school or college that I'm making it with. Last night I had the most vivid dream of meeting Sasha Grey and driving her around New York while getting road head from her. It was fvcking hot as hell but I feel extremely guilty for having these kind of dreams.

Wtf is wrong with me? The girl I have now is a total ****ing catch. Seriously hands down the best girl that I've ever been into a relationship with. Fvck the one night stands, fvck the flings, this girl has it all, yet for some reason my subconscious just isn't satisfied? Has anyone else had this problem?

 

[confuscioused]

enjoy it!!! when I was 23 yrs old I was packing timber all day as well and dreamed of nailing every cute girl I saw. Is this LA chick bisexual? get another girl in your bed and have a 3 some? Cheat on her on the sly if you can!! You're only young once!! LOL

 

[TheException]

Cheat on her on the sly if you can

I wouldnt advise this^

Be a man of your word. If your going to cheat with a new girl...break up first.

Anyway, lets look at some science for explanation. Men are wired to breed with variety. Think about it...we are all about sex...we crave it. So what happens? Our body is not built for monogamy. So when we are in relationship we are meeting our sex cravings, but not the crave for variety. I notice even if Im completely satisfied getting sex from several plates....i STILL WANT more. Its just who we are mate. The only thing you can do...is accept that as truth, and realize you will always crave variety. When you find a good girl just like you did, its important to acknowledge that, and just understand you will always want to bang as many women as possible. It never goes away........fvcking biology.

 

[JoeMarron]

Anyway, lets look at some science for explanation. Men are wired to breed with variety. Think about it...we are all about sex...we crave it. So what happens? Our body is not built for monogamy. So when we are in relationship we are meeting our sex cravings, but not the crave for variety. I notice even if Im completely satisfied getting sex from several plates....i STILL WANT more. Its just who we are mate. The only thing you can do...is accept that as truth, and realize you will always crave variety. When you find a good girl just like you did, its important to acknowledge that, and just understand you will always want to bang as many women as possible. It never goes away........fvcking biology.

I think men fall on a spectrum. Some are more wired for monogamy and others lean more towards variety. I've never had cravings like the ones the OP is describing. Sure I wouldn't mind fvcking a variety of chicks but its just not that big of a deal to me. I'd be beyond content in a relationship like that.

 

[Cremasta]

You normally dream 4-5 times a night, but you only remember the ones that you wake up during. So you've probably shagged half of New York by now and don't even know it

What's wrong with you? Aah... nothing.

In fact, I think your subconscious is rewarding you for picking up such a hot girl and giving it more material for better dreams later on!

Nice one!

 

[youngmack]

Good. No oneitis for you

 

[zinc4]

welcome to me reality...pretend marriage....cheating is not actually that bad but it make u guilty as hell

 

[floydb25]

Heh... temptation is always gonna be out there... up to you to fight it, and do what's best for you. Some may argue that it's part of the "tests" from above. Yea, I failed all those, succumbed to lust and short-term satisfaction, and got burned repeatedly. Lame.

 

[iamnobody]

Men are wired to be polygamous. Feminist media is wiring us to think men are monogamous. That's where your conflict resides. There's nothing wrong with you, OP.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Men are wired to be polygamous. Feminist media is wiring us to think men are monogamous. That's where your conflict resides. There's nothing wrong with you, OP.

^^^
This


There maybe a few exceptions who are naturally monogamous. But for the majority of us, the natural tendency to spread our seed is reflexive. Not much you can do about it.

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Chill out dude, you're perfectly normal.

Whether or not I'm in a relationship or not, I think about banging all the hot women I encounter.

Last week, I had sex with three different women and about 30 minutes after the third, I was thinking about going out and looking for a fourth.

And I'm 46.

In evolutionary-biological terms, which genes were more likely to be passed down and survive over time? For men it's the genes from previous men who had a wide and regular sexual appetite. These weren't the only ones passed down, but the guys who wanted to bang the most women and could/did were more likely to have offspring and pass on that sort of sexual appetite.

So, simply put, many of us are wired to want to bang often with a variety of women, regardless of our relationship status.

This doesn't mean you have to be a slave to such drives. In fact, part of being a man is discipline, honor, and keeping your word. You can WANT to bang out lots of chicks but if you are committed to a relationship you do not HAVE TO do that.

 

[cordoncordon]

Nothing to be alarmed about and its perfectly normal. Evolution has hard wired the male species to breed with as many females as possible to prolong the species, and with you being 23, you are at your sexual peak so to speak. It's natural to think, feel, and dream this way. Obviously, if you really like the girl you are with, I would not advise acting out on any of this haha. I am in the LA area as well, and temptation can be strong with all of the hotties running around.

Not sure what area you live in but I have lived in Santa Monica, Pasadena, Marina Del Rey, and of course visited many others. The variety and quality out here is amazing. White, Asian, Black, Hispanic. It's here. So I understand where you are coming from. I have dated my fiance now for 4 years, in fact met her out here (she is Asian), and even though she is hot, great personality, great job, etc, I still look when I see hot girls walking around. I live up in Valencia now (about 30 minutes north of LA in the mountains) and it is much more white (I'm white) and you would not believe the aesthetics that the 16-25 year old white girls have up here. Asian as well. The boys in the local high schools and colleges are very very lucky.

 

[Big Nuts]

When I was married I was checking out senior high school girls in their catholic kilts....

...this is normal....don't get married, you will realize it is soul death for men.

 

[handle]

It sounds to me like you're just a normal 23 year old in a relationship. Don't let the urge to bang other chicks blind you too much. If it's just a lingering thought then I'd suggest not rashly acting on it. You will always be sexually attracted to loads of other girls when in a relationship. It happens.

Of course if you decide that you would rather go bang a whole bunch of women than be in the relationship then don't stay in something that is tying you down. But it doesn't sound like that's the case for you. I've seen a lot of 22-26 year olds make dumb decisions because of stuff like this.

 

[escaleraroyal]

True puas have harems, they don't have such problems

 

[Brighty]

Thanks for all the responses guys, a lot of good advice all around and I was pleasantly surprised by the level-headedness with them. Lot of good users in this topic.

True puas have harems, they don't have such problems

Lmao. Hang in there kid, once you get past the glitz and glamour of achieving your "life-goal" of becoming one, you realize how minuscule it really is. I would rather die than be considered a "pua", such a scumbag term that rarely any self respecting man would use to call himself.


To update the topic though, I just had another dream last night where a bunch of my old frat brothers looked on at me with disappointment after I told them I was moving in with this girl. That I wasn't "free" anymore. My subconscious is going haywire apparently. I like this girl a lot, but damn.