Im in love for the first time but it´s complicated (M27, F34)

bunqen

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Hello,

Im in a very tricky situation. I have met a woman through mutal friends about 2-3 months ago. I met her out on a club because my friend knew her and i immediately felt a very strong attraction and connection with her. Since then we have been seeing each other almost every weekend among other friends but we have also been hanging out alone. For example we have been going to sports games, went out to dinner and had movie nights.
When we have been going out on clubs, she has been sitting in my lap and we have been kind of cuddly, also been holding hands many times. We have also been talking a lot of how we feel that we like each others company and make each other stronger, something I haven´t ever felt before.
One night when we were drinking some wine at her place in her bathtub i asked if I can move in with her, to wich she said "yes I would like that, it will be fun" I wasn´t really expecting her to be so direct with her answer but the next day i put my apartment out for rent and im now in the process of renting it out and move in with her. We both want this and have obvisosuly talked about it when sober as well.
Last night she invited me over to make some dinner and watch some movies, wich we did. We lay real close to each so our heads touched but we didn´t kiss or have sex. Eventually we both fell asleep and when she woke up she said she was going to the bed and said that I can sleep either in the guest room, stay on the sofa or in her bedroom. Since I don´t want to make anything weird and make assumptions I stayed on the sofa.
The thing is, I don´t know exactly what she feels for me, if she feels for me? Am I a loveblind fool to be doing this or should I listen to my heart and move in with her?
 

Dr.Suave

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Eventually we both fell asleep and when she woke up she said she was going to the bed and said that I can sleep either in the guest room, stay on the sofa or in her bedroom. Since I don´t want to make anything weird and make assumptions I stayed on the sofa.
Bro, she gave you the green light and you didnt take it. You lost frame. Its could be hard to come back from this.
 

Bingo-Player

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This sounds like its been a first class ticket into the freindzone

She will be quite happy with the arrangement as she's having constant attention and all of her emotional needs met and not having too give anything in return

You've fallen into the classic female frame and it sounds like she holds all the aces

Be interesting to know if sex ever does happen
 

Barrister

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We have all thought that some posts here in the past were trolling and they turned out to be legitimate.

Assuming this is NOT trolling, I would say OP sent himself straight into the friendzone. If a woman gives the green light for sex and you don't take it, you just lost and lost BIG when it comes to attraction/sexual tension. This is the Disney fairy tale reprogramming at work to make you believe you are showing her what a great guy you are because you stared into her eyes all night and told her you never want to hurt her no matter what and don't physically touch her once. This dries women up; it doesn't make them want to sleep with you. Women want to feel some risk and want to feel your power over them. This does the opposite and makes you look like a timid weakling.

OP may still be able to salvage it, but the likelihood is very low.
 

_sideways_

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Our boy could be really good looking in shape and this is just a "quirk" bump in the road....and she'll still want him.
The bathtub night is where it should have happened.
 

The Duke

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Why haven't you had sex with her?

Why are you moving in with her after 2-3months?
 

BackInTheGame78

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C'mon man...you aren't in love with this woman and you haven't even done anything with her.

If something was going to happen it likely would have happened.

Likely when you try to make something happen you are going to find out she isn't interested in you in that way.

But you need to escalate with her and see what happens. I doubt anything will since you have been acting like her gay friend for 3 months, now it will be really weird for her if you try to push for something else.

But, so you understand why you don't behave like this and don't make these mistakes again, you need to try to escalate towards sex, likely get rejected and likely "ruin things" between you and her.

No other way. Maybe you'll get lucky and be the 1% of guys that this actually works for and end up dating and living happily ever after with this girl. I doubt it. This is not how things work in the real world, but you will need to find this out for yourself, so I suggest you do so ASAP.

There is nothing "tricky" at all about this situation. Only a woman who isn't interested in you sexually but loves the free attention you are giving her and getting nothing in return except blue balls every night when you go home.

So now you are moving in with her and you haven't kissed her or had sex with her?? Are you crazy? She thinks you are going to be her fun roommate. You are going to be devastated when she brings a guy home the first week you are there and he takes her into the bedroom and bangs her brains out while you sit in the living room watching TV.
 

bat soup

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Hello,

Im in a very tricky situation. I have met a woman through mutal friends about 2-3 months ago. I met her out on a club because my friend knew her and i immediately felt a very strong attraction and connection with her. Since then we have been seeing each other almost every weekend among other friends but we have also been hanging out alone. For example we have been going to sports games, went out to dinner and had movie nights.
When we have been going out on clubs, she has been sitting in my lap and we have been kind of cuddly, also been holding hands many times. We have also been talking a lot of how we feel that we like each others company and make each other stronger, something I haven´t ever felt before.
One night when we were drinking some wine at her place in her bathtub i asked if I can move in with her, to wich she said "yes I would like that, it will be fun" I wasn´t really expecting her to be so direct with her answer but the next day i put my apartment out for rent and im now in the process of renting it out and move in with her. We both want this and have obvisosuly talked about it when sober as well.
Last night she invited me over to make some dinner and watch some movies, wich we did. We lay real close to each so our heads touched but we didn´t kiss or have sex. Eventually we both fell asleep and when she woke up she said she was going to the bed and said that I can sleep either in the guest room, stay on the sofa or in her bedroom. Since I don´t want to make anything weird and make assumptions I stayed on the sofa.
The thing is, I don´t know exactly what she feels for me, if she feels for me? Am I a loveblind fool to be doing this or should I listen to my heart and move in with her?
When a woman offers you a choice of:
A. Sofa
B. Guest room
C. My bed

I'd go for C.
 
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