I'm gonna try it!!!! plz keep me motivated!!!!

[Somedude_UK_31]

Hey guys, I had a breakthrough today.
I was checking out at the store, while the girl was folding my shirts I said "You look cute"...she smiled, thanked me...etc...looked like she wasn't expecting it. I stopped right there, I didn't ask for a # or anything. My goal was to tell her she looked cute and I did it, nothing more.

Here's what I felt:
I was so nervous, I had to keep my voice tone steady, my hands felt so cold.
But I made sure I kept looking at her eyes and said it slowly with a very steady and low voice tone. I was surprised I could pull it off given that I was probably going crazy on the inside trying to keep calm.

So guys, is this normal to feel this way? What to do next?
I'm thinking keep doing the same thing for some time until I'm comfortable with it and always just do the same thing and not ask for a # yet.

I got a feel of it, and it felt great

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

Great work on the small comment. Keep taking baby steps. Slowly but surely you'll get more and more accustomed to it, as well as comfortable.

I believe that one of the best assets one can have is the abiliy to converse with almost anyone. I would advise that you start talking to everyone. Old people, young people, men, women. Everyone. Start with coworkers or other people that you are acquainted with that you rarely have conversations with. Once you become comfortable speaking with them, move on to new people you may meet in public: waiting in line somewhere, on the bus, etc. Make small comments to them regarding the environment you find yourself in at that moment. From there, try small talk with people and escalate as you become more comfortable. The key is to take baby steps.

Learn to enjoy conversing with others, to truly take an interest and learn interesting things about them. At that point there is much less pressure to cold approach as you will be more interested in the conversation itself and less on the possibility of getting rejected.

Thanks bro, I can't believe you're only 17, I'm 31 almost 32 and I admit you know 10 times more than me in this field.

I'm dying to discover my potential. I've recognized my problem over a year ago and have been wanting to break out of this lonliness and miserable isolation for a while. I hope I keep it going :rockon:

 

[JohnChops]

Thanks bro, I can't believe you're only 17, I'm 31 almost 32 and I admit you know 10 times more than me in this field.

I'm dying to discover my potential. I've recognized my problem over a year ago and have been wanting to break out of this lonliness and miserable isolation for a while. I hope I keep it going :rockon:

its an amazing feeling once you break out of your shell. Your starting to come out now, eventually women will be nothing to you and getting one will be as easy as ordering a pizza.

 

[Purefilth]

Thanks. This site is the best, it really gives me motivations. Please understand that I only asked a girl out once, I never approached before, I'm beyond a newbie to this.

Alright so it's normal they break eye contact after more than 1 second? I just wanted to know if what I was doing was right.
I didn't come up with this method, I'm just following the boot camp and the posts on this site where it says it's best to take one step at a time, first being getting comfortable establishing eye contact. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I was surprised they all couldn't keep the eye contact for more than a second. I'm obviously just sharing my results to see if you guys can tell me if this is expected and that I'm not doing it wrong or something.

Your feedback is very much appreciated :nervous:

its ok man, lots dont keep the eye contact for long, are you smiling? I do eye contact with a small smile, try it, see if they hold for longer, you might find theyll smile too. and there you have it, youve sent a stranger off smiling and they have no idea why. most importantly though, calm down just relax smile make eye contact, if they look away quickly dont worry just carry on to the next.

 

[Purefilth]

oops just relised theres another page!! :embarrased:

 

[Atom Smasher]

I didn't read the whole thread as I'm not in the mood to hunker down and concentrate, but it sounds like you need to use the official Atom Smasher Method for social improvement:

Small talk.

Forget about "attracting" girls, and instead get out there in your day to day life and make simple conversations with people you see, both men and women. That's what got me out of my shell and made it possible for me to converse with anyone.

Simply ask people how they're doing or find something to mention in your common environment (weather, whatever else is going on). The trick is to simply get used to conversing and to diminish your self-consciousness. Baby steps are powerful beyond measure as they bypass the fear/overwhelm threshold we all have when we try to attain a skill.

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

I had a new breakthrough today :woo:

As you might know 2 weeks ago I froze at the thought of appraoching a chick...I admit I still hesitate depending on her looks.

Yesterday I pulled the courage and I told one girl she was cute and got a nice reply but I didn't go any further.

Today I talked to this other chick and got a number :cheer:
I kept wanting to leave and she kept pulling me back into the conversation, she txted me already but I don't feel like txting back :crackup:

So guys please help me with this:
1. This girl looked like she wasn't interested before I talked to her, I mean I didn't see her look once or anything, do girls always hide it so well?
2. This girl had a body of maybe 7 but a face of 5 at max, do I pull and use the exact same techniques on the prettier ones?

And finally, man life is good, I can't believe I've been missing so much for the past 30 years.

 

[Samwild]

First off congratulations on becoming half awake to the ordeal that plagues men for most of their life.

1. Stop trying to understand women. By analyzing in the manner in which you are you will doom yourself to paralysis. What will benefit you is recognition of patterns through a multitude of approaches, however, this still might not help you. Basically, though indicators of interest (IOI) are helpful when you get them I wouldn't put much faith in using them as a gate to approach. If you see something that is attractive, investigate. Best and surefire way to further whatever your objective is. I know I don't compliment on beauty, YMMV. By the act of approaching a women they will see that as a compliment in of itself, no need to flatter their already inflated egos.
2. No two humans are the same in this world, even twins are different. In the realm of getting to know a fellow human being, which is how this should be looked at, your method will have to adapt to the person you are trying to get to know. There are methods that have a decent percentage of working most times, but, they won't work for everyone.

If you are following the DJ Bible, which is ok for guidance, I would recommend "The Book of Pook". Find it here or Google it. Just another tool in the tool box of self improvement. I would also invest first and foremost in the "Anti-Dump Machine" which can also be found here. These two tools should give you enough knowledge to be dangerous. After which, take every measure with women cautiously and maintain your sovereignty as a man. Do not fall to the golden pu$$y spell or allow other white knights to subjugate you. Good Luck sir and stay informed.

Oh, and before I forget, don't go out of your way to buy a new wardrobe to "make yourself feel better and impress these women". If you need trinkets and stuff to derive self confidence from you have larger problems than we could ever help to assist you with. Your current wardrobe is a reflection of yourself and you are going to want to display YOU, not some half minded fallacy of what you want to be. I laugh at these people that burn their cash to trash themselves than look uncomfortable in their "new look" and wonder why the "Cold Hearted Man with Tits" is turned off by them. Besides, if a women turns you down because of your personal taste in clothing she is making it easier for you in the long run.

 

[Rubirosa]

Oh, and before I forget, don't go out of your way to buy a new wardrobe to "make yourself feel better and impress these women". If you need trinkets and stuff to derive self confidence from you have larger problems than we could ever help to assist you with. Your current wardrobe is a reflection of yourself and you are going to want to display YOU, not some half minded fallacy of what you want to be. I laugh at these people that burn their cash to trash themselves than look uncomfortable in their "new look" and wonder why the "Cold Hearted Man with Tits" is turned off by them. Besides, if a women turns you down because of your personal taste in clothing she is making it easier for you in the long run.

I disagree

The guy is 31, not a kid anymore. His manner of dress should say that he's a man, not a boy.
I think that a guy should dress for himself, BUT with a firm understanding of what actually looks good on him. Good clothes can augment a man's visual package just as much as bad clothes can diminish it. Now before you say I shouldn't back up an opinion with a fictional character, would James Bond be James Bond if he dressed like a Jersey Shore dude ?
Dressing well is never a negative thing in my book.....

Excuse me, I gotta go back to chasing 20 somethings
(Yes, that was a jab at you O.P.)

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

Hey guys, today I talked to a girl that works at the gym, was pretty easy, I even felt she was the nervous one.

But I still can't talk to girls I find attractive, should I just go for it? :nervous:
I have a feeling they will not respond like other girls. They aways seem to be walking in a hurry and have this "don't bother me" look, is that some sort of a defense mechanisim or what?

When I say attractive I mean a 7 and above (to me that is), because we all have different taste in women.

I'm thinking maybe just talk to everyone the same way, men, women, hot, ugly...without having any intention of picking up until maybe later on when I can get used to talking to whoever I want...what do you think?

 

[Somedude_UK_31]

Hey guys, today I was at a shop and I saw this girl I thought was cute, suddenly my heart started racing at the thought of approaching her, then I noticed I was scanning the place to see if anyone would see me if I was to approach her and laugh at me.
I kept reminding myself that rejection is better than regret but to no avail

Could someone please tell me if all of the above are common among newbies and how you were able to overcome them?
After being able to overcome such fears, do you really look back and realize that all those thoughts were baseless?

Fvck I'v been hating myself for not talking since this morning!

On another note, I ovehauled my wardrobe and man I can feel my confidence of myself shot up by %50 or more knowing that I'm wearing nice fitting clothes