During the last couple of days it has been snowing here. which is probably why I am getting overwhelmed with these feelings. I broke up with my gf was with her for about 1.5 yrs, yea i know not the long but my longest and most serious. We were living together talked about marriage etc. Then on the day after visiting her friends and family she came back home and busted a 180 on me. I mean sh*t wasn't perfect before she left but what is. but there were no major problems I could see. Im thinking she busted this on me cause her fvcking single friends who cant get anyone were getting jealous and wanted her to themselves i guess meaning wanting her to move back home after finishing grad school. It was funny cause the only people that would say **** to her were the single ones. Anyways i packed my sh*t and left moved 1 hour away and just got a new job thats in a nice office and something that I acutally somewhat enjoy. Its been 2 months since we ended it somewhat. I mean after SHE would call bit*hing about her life and would come down to see me maybe the dog we got i dont know, and of course everytime she would initiate fvcking so i did might as well get some if its sitting rihgt there. so we stop talking for a week cause when she would come would get relaly intimate cuddle kiss on the lips goodbye etc. so i said fvck it.I basically told her decide what she wants cause im not giong to talk unless we are together. so we got in a little argument didnt talk for a week. i call her to take of something for me cause i was leaving for a couple of days. she calls back the day i told her too but i never return her call. I call her like 5 days later to get my internet router which is almost 200 dollars that i left there after i packed my sh*t cause i forgot. my brother was bit*hing caues he needed it. so no call back from her. then i write her an email that night saying "hey pal i need my router etc etc............ thanks buddy" she replies and says yea...blah blah blah..ill just call u. I was like wtf but she calls to talk about my job and sh*t. i really didnt want to talk to her just cause i knew i would let out some stuff on my chest about her. i talked to her and we ended the call nicely but i said fvck it im goin to call her back and say some stuff to her aobut our relatinship, asking why she busted a 180 (we never talked about it) i said what i had to say and she really didnt want to say anything. . apparently she didnt want that i guess. that day it ended as you know what call me if youre ready to talk ever then i hung up. so its been like 1.5 weeks i wrote her an email yesterday asking for the router again cause she never sent it. i did not call her. I mean if i dont get it soon im asuming she wants a call from me obviously. i write the email in the way of not even hinting at wantding to see or talk to her but rather as rejecting saying pal buddy etc. I do actually want to talk to her right now but fvck man im just a confused sob cause i know i shouldn't but fvck i miss her right now for some reason. between the 2 months i have never felt this. ill call her saturday and tell her you know what im not looking to argue or anything im not going to lie i do want to still talk to you and miss you. sound to needy or what? what should i say cause im calling her one way or antoher if she doesnt call me cause these feelings are eating me up sometimes.