that explains why half of america is in misery when it comes to relationships and marriages. you get sick of your partners and then automatically land up here for support and look for answers. you will really end up breaking your own back one day dude.. please take care.backbreaker said:
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I'm falling in love.. With a fat chick!
- Thread starter diceman
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backbreaker
Master Don Juan
that's like saying you buy a kia, you don't get the 150k warranty, and then when it breaks down.. because it is a kia.. you blame it on you not getting the warranty.
IT'S A ****ING KIA!!!!.. and I sold kia's so I can rant.
the problem isn't the relatioships.... a relationship with the right woman is one of the best things ever.
however, how many times do I have to repeat myself.. 90% of all relationsihps aren't with the right woman.. it's wiht a woman who would tolorate you for whatever the reason may be.
I'm not going to sit here and lie to myself.. If I was say..35.. being who I am now and where I am.. and my life in GF (because i don't believe in marriage) suddenly gained 100 pounds and I wasn't attracted to her, i'm going to follow my natural instincts instead of fighting them and find someone i am attracted to.
of course.. say something goes terribly wrong with her.. I'm going ot make sure she's taken care of. I owe her that. and she won't want for anything. I"m not an *******. but i'm not going ot **** something I'm not attracted to.
god damn.. is that such a hard concept to grasp? I feel like I"m talking to 3rd graders at times
diceman said:
I'd say keep dating her. You sound like you truly like her for who she is. PLUS, you said she's now on a diet so she's obviously aware of her weight issues and doing something about. Just ride it out. When she gets slimmer, her looks are going to go up by about 3 points to you. If you think she's "ok" now, you'll think she's pretty damn cute once she sheds the weight. If you weren't that into her personality, then I'd say next her, but you do have genuine feelings for her so that counts for a lot. Look at this way, a woman might want a guy who is financially secure, but she might make an exception for a guy who may not be financially well off, but who is in the process of doing something about, like in schooll or getting training or something, especially if she really likes his personality. Your situation is the reverse. She IS doing something about her weight. So let it be. Enjoy her company. You obviously liked having sex with her, so it sounds like to me your just insecure about what others will think of you being with an overweight woman. Fine, so keep her on the DL until she sheds the weight if you have to.
You should also check out the book "Unhooked Generation", I think with your current situation you'll get something out of it.
The thing is, we live in a self-oriented society, which is true for most western countries. Marriages serve the main purpose of fulfilling the SELF first in foremost. When they no longer fulfill the self, they are to be discarded. The more self-oriented people are(such as celebrities for example), the more easily they discard marriages.ducaro said:
Now you also have other countries with an entire different mindset and mode of thinking about the purpose of marriage. For more traditional, eastern cultures, self-fulfillment has very little to do with marriage. In fact arranged marriages even last a lifetime. In these cultures marriage is more about creating families, perpetuating one's values and culture to the next generation(like say orthodox Jews) for example. The westernized concepts of love and romance as we understand it don't even exist in many cultures. Take a tribe in the amazon or polynesia. There's no such thing as divorce. They get married, have some ceremon, cut some scars or tattoos into their skin, then carry out their lives. They're not worried about if their partner gets fat, or if their ass starts to sag, of if the partner no longer is ****y and funny or any of the **** we've been conditioned to think is important in the western idea of romance.
I'm not saying one culture has a better way of doing things than the other, but people need to see their behavior within a wider context. The things that we worry about in a partner wouldn't even be an issue in most cultures across the globe. Our society is self-obsessed and focused on materialism(nice cars, nice bodies, nice clothes, etc), more traditional cultures are family/collective oriented where things like tradition, family, religion and perpetuating the culture are important.
American used to be something right in between but we have shifted very much to the self-oriented, and that's why I think we have such a high divorce rate. It's not that people marrying aren't compitable, it's that our entire collective mindset is conducive to creating disatisfaction.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
speakeasy said:
spot on! see this is the difference between a 21 yr old and an experienced being... you've walked the earth for 31 odd years and you know your stuff! respect to you. :yes: (its amazing that you've identified something)
I also feel you should not be including yourself as a part of the 'mis-conditioned-mass' anymore, because I believe you are now aware of being sensitive and understanding that change is inevitable, and that does not mean you give up a person, because the person's attributes are not familiar anymore... long as the change has nothing to do with the way he/she felt (respect, commitment) about you when getting married..
I am a man and I have needs so yes I would get rid of her fat disfigured ass. In reality i will not even be in that situation anyway because I am not going to ever get married. I see to many divorces and unhappy married couples...ducaro said:
You need to ask yourself, if we can not learn from the people that cam before us then what are we doing here? If 90% of the marriages in our parents generation end in divorce or end with the couple hating each other why do people persist with this ridiculous, constricting custom?
I mean really it can not be argued marriages are falling apart all over the world. You have a +50% divorce rate then you have couples that do not divorce because of children, others because of religious beliefs. I hardly ever see a truly happy married couple. So what kind of effect do you think telling me about marriage will have? Marriage is a stupid custom that was created by priests. It is a form of control that I honestly believe holds the human race back from its true potential.
Marriages do not work that is a fact but people keep doing it because thats what society pressures us to do.
^^^I don't really understand the nihilistic outlook toward marriages. First off, the divorce rate isn't 50%, that's a common misperception, it's more like 1/3rd. I think a lot of the reasons marriages fail isn't because there's anything intrinsically wrong with marriage, but because people choose poorly, can't communicate well, don't have good conflict resolutions skills, and go in with a me-first attitude. Married couples I've known that do have these skills seem to do fine. I think two people getting married should be friends first and foremost. Very good friends. I actually think it's a good thing if a can convert an LJBF girl into a romance, because they already have a solid foundation of mutual friendship and respect, now they just need the romantic chemistry.
Like I said in one of my other posts in this thread, I suggest that anyone that is even passively interested in the topic marriage vs. singlehood go to amazon and buy a copy of "Unhooked Generation". It goes into a lot of why marriage has gotten a bad rap. It's interesting how even television has changed over the decades. Most TV back in the 50s used to be family oriented. They glorified the stable married family, shows like Leave it the ******, Brady Bunch, etc. In the modern area, the married family is more likely to be portrayed as a basket case, think shows like Married w/ Children, The Simpsons, etc. Meanwhile television programmers show single life as fun, sexy and desirable, think Sex in the City, Seinfeld, Friends, etc, etc. So we have a whole media that reinforces the notion that marriage is sort of a ball and chain and being single and hopping from bed to bed is where it's at. Then you have the younger generation being brainwashed with shows like Next, Elimidate, Blind Date where singles disqualify one another over extremely superficial reasons and it's no wonder this generation is in the mess it's in.
Granted, I have no problem with the notion of getting your nookie where you can get it, I mean aren't we all here for the purpose of learning to get some more action? At the same time though, I think there's a lot of unwarranted cynicism towards marriage. Marriage is fine, the problem is the culture we live in is shaping us in a way that makes *US* incompatible with marriage, not the other way around.
ps - I'm LMAO that the word B-e-aver was autocensored out!
Like I said in one of my other posts in this thread, I suggest that anyone that is even passively interested in the topic marriage vs. singlehood go to amazon and buy a copy of "Unhooked Generation". It goes into a lot of why marriage has gotten a bad rap. It's interesting how even television has changed over the decades. Most TV back in the 50s used to be family oriented. They glorified the stable married family, shows like Leave it the ******, Brady Bunch, etc. In the modern area, the married family is more likely to be portrayed as a basket case, think shows like Married w/ Children, The Simpsons, etc. Meanwhile television programmers show single life as fun, sexy and desirable, think Sex in the City, Seinfeld, Friends, etc, etc. So we have a whole media that reinforces the notion that marriage is sort of a ball and chain and being single and hopping from bed to bed is where it's at. Then you have the younger generation being brainwashed with shows like Next, Elimidate, Blind Date where singles disqualify one another over extremely superficial reasons and it's no wonder this generation is in the mess it's in.
Granted, I have no problem with the notion of getting your nookie where you can get it, I mean aren't we all here for the purpose of learning to get some more action? At the same time though, I think there's a lot of unwarranted cynicism towards marriage. Marriage is fine, the problem is the culture we live in is shaping us in a way that makes *US* incompatible with marriage, not the other way around.
ps - I'm LMAO that the word B-e-aver was autocensored out!
1/3, 1/10 I don't care I just very rarely see a married couple that is happy. So in my mind marriage is not a smart choice, sure I can sit here and theorize with you as to what impact pop culture is having on society but thats not going to change the hard proof I see every day of my life. I agree with you to an extent in fact I could go on about how modern television is destroying Australia/America for hours but as I said I see the proof every day with my own eyes. That truth has a greater impact on me than theories of the link between society and marriage.
Then there is the other truth that I cant stand women for longer than a few weeks. So to me marriage is basically going against my nature. I also think that after 5 years or so of marriage you begin to lose interest in your partner (sexually). Sure you maybe still love them but the sex begins to get old and then you begin to get frustrated bla bla bla its like a broken record....
In my mind these days marriage is useless.
Then there is the other truth that I cant stand women for longer than a few weeks. So to me marriage is basically going against my nature. I also think that after 5 years or so of marriage you begin to lose interest in your partner (sexually). Sure you maybe still love them but the sex begins to get old and then you begin to get frustrated bla bla bla its like a broken record....
In my mind these days marriage is useless.
Just for debate purposes -- what is preferred?speakeasy said:
A. Living for one's own happiness.
B. Sacrificing one's happiness for the institution of marriage.
Life is all about choices and options. So I am curious about others' opinions on this one. Marriage was formed to stabilize societies... "for better or for worse" and "'til death do us part" being the stabilization factors. Now that divorce is an option and the stigma of divorce is removed, people have increased options to suit their self-needs. Again, which is better. A or B?
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
KarmaSutra
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I see what the problem is with your post; YOU'RE A FVCKING IDIOT.ducaro said:
So if you get married and she lets herself go straight to sh!t you're indebted to stay with that fat nasty cvnt out of loyalty? Take your thumb out of your ass pal.
You have an obligation to noone but yourself. I didn't shovel those triple Whoppers down her gullet so I am not responsible. She is and you are for your own goddamn decisions.
I don't necessarily believe it's useless. You have to have been in one in order to be so defeatist about it. I'm an open minded guy and I realize we live in an era of choices our parents never had any idea or access to. The baby boomers had to actually work at a marriage and monogamy. With the advent of the internet and other mass media, we're able to connect to people in mere seconds what it took people 15 years ago to do in a month.NickBe said:
True, marriage is not for everyone. Then again neither is sushi . . .
KarmaSutra
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This is wide open brother. You should start a thread with this topic.blueguy said:
listen up karma**** or whatever...
first read my post properly. Just to let you now that I will NOT tolearte any woman who lets herself go astray.. life can throw surprises at you.. what if she landed up in a situation where it was sheer bad luck that something terrible happened? so for your own benefit you look elsewhere?? what do you ahve a heart made of dry ice or something?
its people like u in both the genders that are contributing to this +50% rise in divorce rates. when will you guys ever realise?
what are you doing on this website? fly away!
damn, i can't believe you've walked this earth for 33 years and you've learnt absolutely NOTHING in life.
first read my post properly. Just to let you now that I will NOT tolearte any woman who lets herself go astray.. life can throw surprises at you.. what if she landed up in a situation where it was sheer bad luck that something terrible happened? so for your own benefit you look elsewhere?? what do you ahve a heart made of dry ice or something?
its people like u in both the genders that are contributing to this +50% rise in divorce rates. when will you guys ever realise?
what are you doing on this website? fly away!
damn, i can't believe you've walked this earth for 33 years and you've learnt absolutely NOTHING in life.
I'd say go for it mate. Like others have so rightfully said, just do what makes you happy. Don't worry about being judged by other guys.
With that said, I do understand where you are coming from. To us guys, physical attraction is bigger than it is for women. I'd go out with her and get her involved in running and jogging all the time with you. Make exercise part of your own routine, and suck her into that very reality you have created for yourself.
Wish you the best man.
Kudos,
Matt
With that said, I do understand where you are coming from. To us guys, physical attraction is bigger than it is for women. I'd go out with her and get her involved in running and jogging all the time with you. Make exercise part of your own routine, and suck her into that very reality you have created for yourself.
Wish you the best man.
Kudos,
Matt
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KarmaSutra
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Apparently you won't tolerate proper grammar either. And yes, you're a pvssy who will take any treatment from a woman to keep her attention and validation. You come off as a clingy, needy b!tch. You apologize for sh!t which you have no control over then feel sorry that someone else has made poor decisions for themselves. Don't you need to be over on the Dr. Phil message boards with the other clingy b!tches?ducaro said:listen up karma**** or whatever...
first read my post properly. Just to let you now that I will NOT tolearte any woman who lets herself go astray.. life can throw surprises at you.. what if she landed up in a situation where it was sheer bad luck that something terrible happened? so for your own benefit you look elsewhere?? what do you ahve a heart made of dry ice or something?
its people like u in both the genders that are contributing to this +50% rise in divorce rates. when will you guys ever realise?
what are you doing on this website? fly away!
damn, i can't believe you've walked this earth for 33 years and you've learnt absolutely NOTHING in life.
Ducaro who are you to say he has learned nothing. Maybe what you think you know is bull**** and what he knows after 33 years is the truth. Maybe you will be endowed with such wisdom when you hit the 30 mark.
If the woman you are married to is hit by a car and disfigured you say you would stay with her. Lets imagine the woman loses control of her bodily functions and now for the rest of her life you have to pull her off the wheel chair, sit her on the toilet and wipe her ass. Now she can never shave again, she is disabled so she begins to grow fat and she is hairy. I mean this was sheer bad luck she can not help being disabled by an accident. Your sex life suffers even though to can have sex it is difficult and gives you very little pleasure. Would you stay with this woman? Sure it is the noble thing to do but you have needs like everybody else, will you let them suffer for this false idealistic idea of love.
What if she was hit by a car and go brain damage, now she sits in a wheel chair all her life. You have to do everything for her, feed her and everything. Would you stick around then?
If not then what makes you anymore noble than me?
The fact that you would stick around for minor disfigurement but not full blown brain damage?
Do not bull**** and say you will not tolerate a woman that lets go of herself. A few posts ago you as go as said that weight gain would not make you leave.
You have this retarded idea of love. You have this idealistic, Hollywood idea of Love. What you think is worthless and you do nothing but contribute to the pack of mindless drones that see no other option in life but to get married.
If the woman you are married to is hit by a car and disfigured you say you would stay with her. Lets imagine the woman loses control of her bodily functions and now for the rest of her life you have to pull her off the wheel chair, sit her on the toilet and wipe her ass. Now she can never shave again, she is disabled so she begins to grow fat and she is hairy. I mean this was sheer bad luck she can not help being disabled by an accident. Your sex life suffers even though to can have sex it is difficult and gives you very little pleasure. Would you stay with this woman? Sure it is the noble thing to do but you have needs like everybody else, will you let them suffer for this false idealistic idea of love.
What if she was hit by a car and go brain damage, now she sits in a wheel chair all her life. You have to do everything for her, feed her and everything. Would you stick around then?
If not then what makes you anymore noble than me?
The fact that you would stick around for minor disfigurement but not full blown brain damage?
Do not bull**** and say you will not tolerate a woman that lets go of herself. A few posts ago you as go as said that weight gain would not make you leave.
You have this retarded idea of love. You have this idealistic, Hollywood idea of Love. What you think is worthless and you do nothing but contribute to the pack of mindless drones that see no other option in life but to get married.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
What gets me is that so many of the guys are assuming diceman is not genuinely attracted to this woman on account of her weight.
Sure, it may be hard for some guys to understand, but I personally find it hard to understand why many guys find overly made-up, fake-titted walking mannequins so attractive, when they don't do anything for me.
If he does find chubby gals more attractive, he's certainly in luck in the US these days.
Sure, it may be hard for some guys to understand, but I personally find it hard to understand why many guys find overly made-up, fake-titted walking mannequins so attractive, when they don't do anything for me.
If he does find chubby gals more attractive, he's certainly in luck in the US these days.
KarmaSutra
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Amen. I gotta have some junk in the trunk to get me going. I don't get these fake ass broads who flaunt thier plastic injections and fake extensions.Bonhomme said:
Fvck that. Give me curves and pouty lips.
